|Forum|Articles|Happy Meal.   Happy Meal September 24 2001 at 12:31 AM Cyber Seduction (no login) Gentleman, I wrote this last weekend and just now found it. I was filled with quite a bit of alcohol at the time and saved it in a weird place. It is a hell of alot funnier than it was while I was writing it. I think you will enjoy it. You know, there are a lot of things in this world that boggle the mind. Like, why the hell does McDonald's give you those crappy cardboard cups that disintegrate after the liquid has been sitting in them for 3 minutes? And why the hell do they call it a Happy Meal? It comes with a dinky order of fries, a shitty burger, a too small drink in a gay cup, and a craptacular excuse for a toy what the fuck is so happy about that? And why I'm on the subject, what is the fucking deal with the marshmallows in Lucky Charms? Have you ever tasted one of those things? They taste like what would happen if a marshmallow survived Hiroshima. These stupid ass kids have no clue as to the health and social ramifications of actually eating the marshmallow's namesake. Blue Diamonds, Red Balloons, Yellow Moons, Purple Horseshoes, and my favorite Pink Hearts. Can you see some teenager in court for murder and defamation of a corpse? They put him on the stand and ask"Why did you eat that woman's heart?" and his only response is "The Lucky Charms Leprechaun said it was Ok." Fucking Corporate America. And I swear to god, the next time I go to the store to get both Cigarettes and Alcohol and the alcohol scans fine and then they scan the cigarettes and ask for my I.DI am going to fucking snap. It is ok for a potential minor to buy a 40 of Vodka but it isn't ok for the same person to buy a pack of Marlboro's. And do you know why that is? Because someone got a hair up their ass about teenage smoking and got the easily gullible general public to agree with them. I got a hair up my ass once about stray cats shitting on our porch and all I was able to get out of the general public was a restraining order. I think there should be about ten people that are qualified to decide who the stupid people are and kill them without fear of criminal charges. And while I'm bitching, the next piece of fucking Spam I get that is advertising a discount on what was a shitty product to begin with because of the "Tragedy in New York" I am going to hunt them down and shoot them to death with my pellet gun. I swear to god, I have seen more fuck-offs using this event to have a fucking sale. And why I am on sales Major electronics stores (Best Buy, CompUSA, etc.) should have a list of people that are nerds and they should be given the opportunity to buy things before the masses have access to the stock. I am so sick and tired of seeing something I want on sale and going to get it in time to see the last one being sold to a bitch-boy wearing Dockers and a Polo shirt from the Gap. I was going to get a webcam this weekend. I saw the Sunday circular from Best Buy, went at noon that same Sunday, and watched as a pimple-ridden saleboy handed "David XP" the last one. What pisses me off the most is that this punk is going to be yet another drone who uses the webcam his daddy bought him to do nothing more than chat. I'm sure he is hoping that his digital image will allow him to find willing 12-year-old girls to fuck. Never mind the contribution I would be giving to the Star Wars fan archives with the Star Wars movie I was planning to make.     Syntax Error/:|Forum|Articles|