|Forum|Articles|Final Fantasy Review By Cyber Seduction   Well, Anubis and I just saw Final Fantasy on Friday. I thought that the eyeball gods would smile upon us after the incident with deciding which candy to buy, based on it's projectile qualities. After seeing it, I tried for several minutes to discribe this movie, before Anubis did it in one word...Hokey. This movie had potential, but, they Blew it!!! This movie had great cgi and sound (really original). It also contained some great explosions and high tech weapons...not to mention the abundance of death (always a plus). Based on this alone, I would have rated this movie a 9. That is if the plot hadn't got in the way. The plot. What can I say about the plot? It existed...kinda. Excluding the helmet that served no purpose, the holographic breast plate, and the Screenwriters Association of America's required Love-story, the first half of the movie had adequate plot-strength. Then you find out that these aliens invaded earth..ok no big deal. Then you find out that they are not invaders...doesn't really make sense but, that's ok too. Then you find out that they aren't invaders, because they are ghosts...What The Fuck!?! Yeah, they are ghosts who can't be seen (except for when they are lit up by fireworks) and can "posses" you and like eat your soul and some other crap. Oh, sidenote: They are ghosts, ghosts are dead, yet they can be killed by laserfire...PLOTHOLE ALERT!!! Anywho, so they are ghosts, who can be killed, and this guy wants to kill the ghosts with a hugeass orbital cannon. So he tries to make this happen, fires the cannon, and kills...GAIA. That's right folks...he kills mother-earth with an orbital laser pointer. This movie reeked with the "sushi and rice" smell of Japanimation. Skippy storyline, tires on space ships, really big flashlights, and fully rendered spit during the "kiss" scene. This movie just made me want to scream for a barf bag and a moist towelette. If I hade to rate it, including the plot holes that are bigger than the craks in Tecumseh's walls, I would give it a 5. My advice...watch Shrek instead.   Related Articles: Another Final Fantasy Review     Syntax Error/:|Forum|Articles|