Life
what the fuck am i doing here
there are so many more things i fear
like living an actual normal life
i can’t attempt it, won’t even try
looking through a stained glass window
like staring at my broken existence
wandering in the fields of my mind
not knowing where to go, what to find
knowing somehow that it’s not right
how can i beat what i can’t fight?
you want me to see through all this pain
tell me what’s on the other side again?
can’t remember how it used to be
everything good everything for free
nothing to keep me just send me away
we won’t miss it anyway
how can you like what you can’t hate?
haven’t seen both sides of the debate
thinking you’re a good, rich, high man
when will you realize we’re all damned?
living the life i used to live
didn’t know then it was all a fib
but it’s like that for everyone
had to see theirs to see my own
trying to see through the fog
crawling, alone, like a dog
straining hard but it’s still hazy
feel like i’ve gone fucked-up crazy
why won’t it come back
the life i’d been trying to hack
seems like i’ll never be her again
i’m not gonna try to all’s chagrin
so overtired i can’t sleep
didn’t’ know it was all so cheap
need some time to get it together
too bad it’ll only take forever
knowing i can’t look at it all
if i do i’ll surely fall
it’s a shame when you can’t face your life
but i’m so pathetic in all this strife
i’ve changed don’t know how or when
can’t remember how it’s been
not a surprise considering me
never was what i was supposed to be
having the feelings forbidden to feel
wondering if i’d be able to deal
held up the front, that silly charade
they never knew it was all a parade
all i wanted was for you to comfort me
all i needed was for you to set me free
was it too much of your precious time?
i wonder if i’m ever on your mind
know i will be, when this is through
maybe you’ll realize you were so cruel
but by then it’ll be too late
don’t preach it if you’re gonna miss the date
can’t remember how it used to be
everything good everything for free
don’t talk to me about living the life
cause that’s all gonna end tonight
(9-4-98)
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