THE END IS NEAR!!!!! REPENT!!!!

Or you could just take a silly quiz and waste the last few seconds of your precious life.

Here's yet another silly test that really doesn't have that much to do with your personality, it's just fun to be able to tell someone "Behold...I am Famine! and gnaw on their leg to make your point. And I know some of you out there, like me, are addicted to this sort of thing and you have an enormous online file somewhere that maps out your entire personality as what kind of pet you are, what kind of underwaer you are and what god forsaken mediocre pop song you most resemble. So this is for you. Scare your friends and enemies, and when you're done go take more stupid tests on my page if you haven't already.

So, go ahead...find out indefinitely
WHICH HORSEMAN
OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE YOU?

(insert devastatingly spooky music here)

1. Are you hungry?

Yes. Your head looks tasty.
Why else would I be gnawing on this moldy slab of tofu?
I'd kill your aunt for a donut.
No. Go away or i'll impale you with cocktail umbrellas.

2. What color are your eyes?

Black like my soul
Green like radioactive sewage
Blue like corpses in the morgue
Red, just like the gaping wound in your chest

3. Do you have any pets?

Chomp....ummm Pets?
My tapeworm does all kinds of tricks.
Let me dig them up so you can meet them.
Umm....it seems my hell hounds have eaten your leg. oh my.
Cockroaches. They are so easy to housebreak.
Dogs

4. Coffee?

Sure. Five more gallons please.
Only if it's stale and crusty.
No thanks, but you can share this strychnine with me if you want
I take mine hot enough to melt flesh, thank you.
coffeeeecoffeeeecoffeeeegimme

5. If you were standing in the road and you saw a bunny that had been hit by a...

Chomp. Bunny?
Maggots? Are there maggots?
If only nature could select out the other stupid creatures. Sigh.
Yay! Can we see an instant replay?
Boohoo. Can we go get a burger now?
Hit by a what? finish the sentence already!!!!!

6. Are you right hand or left handed?

Chomp. Hands?
Neither. I can shoot a gun with my toes.
Both, it's easier to strangle someone that way.
Yes.
Right. It's not nearly as lice ridden as the other one.
Left. I lost the other one throwing mines like frisbees.

7. If you were on a deserted island, with nothing but a paper bag and a spork, what would you do?

Munch, munch. Mmmmm fiber.
Use the fork to pick up disembodied heads,
and store them in the bag.
Put the bag over my head (with eyeholes) and stalk
around the island with the spork and make sure I'm
the only one on it.
Collect decayed limbs in the bag and using the spork,
fling them at anyone who attempts to land on my island.
Wow! a spork! haven't seen one in years! Where's the
mashed potatoes and cole slaw??

8. If you had three heads and...

Well I don't so shut up.
Honestly, do you think I'm some kind of genetic mutant?
No.
I'd eat the other 2.
Ok, so when can we set things on fire?
So what did hit the bunny back in question 5?

9. Pick a word that descibes you:

Ow
Slimy
Rutabaga
Catafalque
Trollop
Thermoreactive
Bleeding
A La Carte

10. Pick a color:

Yellow ochre like rancid mustard
Black like my oozing eyesockets
Gray like a dingy shroud
Green like...stuff that's green
Brown like scabs
Purple like festering lesions
Red like freshly removed vital organs
White like the light you see just before you die

11.Wanna sit down?

As long as you don't mind all the infectious ooze
dripping on your couch
Sure, I need to rest my sword for a second.
Sure doll. can I get a coke? And some cheetos?
You sit first...the seat might be electrified

12. So, what about Britney Spears?

Goes great with ketchup.
Don't say that unless I have the cannon loaded.
Ewww...I feel dirty now.
Why else do you think I became a mercenary?

13. Why do the packages of food that say "tear at the notch" never actually have a notch?

Government conspiracy to put smurfs in power.
If only I had known that YEARS ago....mmmm. nail clippings.
Someone's going to pay for that. I promise you.
That's why I just root through the garbage. Much easier that way.

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