A frozen kiss
By Majsan
--------------------------
Yesterday I got a frozen kiss from Kai
The feeling of his tender touch
Made me desiring him so much
I just thought that I would die
He was looking at me with his clear eyes
His tender words make me oh so weak
He tells me that he for a planet will seek
The arms that I belong in is the adorable Kai's
Over my cheek travels his beautiful finger
His long lock of hair makes me tremble
Other men would him newer ever resemble
If he would ask me to be his I wouldn't linger
Ode to Kai
By Nevwyn
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All night with my Kai Kai
All night with my Kai and I mean this
I ran my hands down his chest
All the way down to his...
Man! This cryo-chamber is cold!
All week with my Kai Kai
Embracing his frozen mass
I love his pale smooth skin
And his cute, tight little...
Oh cwap! My tounge iv spuck po hiv meck!
(rrrrrrip) OOOOOWWWWW!!!
All month with my Kai Kai
His body I wish to lick
I'd start with his luscious mouth
And work my way down to his...
Damn! It's FREEZING in here!
All year with my Kai Kai...
Aw hell! I'm going to bed!
Holding Out for the Dead Guy
By blarney stone
(Filk: to the tune of Bonnie Tyler's Holding Out for a Hero, and, of course, it's from Xev's point of view.
---------------------------
Why are all the good men dead
and stuffed in cryopods?
Why can't I find the manual
To reanimate their bods?
Isn't there anyone who can get Kai up to speed?
790's dirty talk can't give me what I need.
I need the dead guy
I'm holding out for the dead guy till the end of the night. He's gotta be stiff
and he's gotta be cold
and his hair's gotta be done up tight.
I need the dead guy
I'm holding out for the dead guy til he get's it right. He's gotta be smooth
and he's gotta be buff
His tattoo's gotta gleam in the light
Somewhere in the deepest space
In my wildest loveslave dream
That Brunnen-G is waking up
And he's burning hot for me
He stalks me with his wolfish grace
790 screams while we suck face
I need the dead guy
I'm holding out for the dead guy till the end of the night. He's gotta be stiff
and he's gotta be cold
and his hair's gotta be done up tight.
I need the dead guy
I'm holding out for the dead guy til he get's it right. He's gotta be smooth
and he's gotta be buff
His tattoo's gotta gleam in the light
The Lexx floats through the cold dark zone Captained by that putz Stanley
I can feel those cold dead hands
Reaching out for me
Somewhere under the freaks, and the pervs and that psycho robot head
I've got to find a magic spell that will really raise the dead.
I need the dead guy
I'm holding out for the dead guy till the end of the night. He's gotta be stiff
and he's gotta be cold
and his hair's gotta be done up tight.
I need the dead guy
I'm holding out for the dead guy til he get's it right. He's gotta be smooth
and he's gotta be buff
His tattoo's gotta gleam in the light
I need the dead guy!!
My People! I have found you at last! I bring the gift of filk, written by my husband, Mr. Wonderful!
(Sung to the tune if "The Boxer", with apologies to Simon and Garfunkel) by Morbien
Oh, I am just a dead man
and I'm so far from my home.
It was blown up by His Shadow
an Assassin for the Divine Order
now I roam; I declare
all I need is my trusty brace
and a good gell for my hair.
(La la la, la la la, la la la la ...)
When I left my home and my family
I was only a Newborn
and I went to the Time Prophet
to learn about the future
so I could explore; I was surprised
when she told me that the future sucks
and everybody dies!
(Even I!; I was the last to die!)
Chorus: Brunnen-G!
Vaiyo Hey-oh, Brunnen-G!
Home Vah Ray
Vaiyo Hey Rah,
Jerhoom Brunnen-G!
I tracked down the thieves of the Lexx
and I told them all how
I had never once shown mercy
(In a speech I gave in the first movie;
Rent it now!); It did not take long
'til I heard a Predecessor
sing a quite familaiar song.
And I stood there as I cried out
(and crushed the Predecessor's brain)
"I am Kai, Last of the Brunnen-G,
my Memories I have regained!"
(I am Kai!; Last of the Brunnen-G!)
(Repeat Chorus)
Now I'm traveling aboard the Lexx
(and there's no rest for the Dead!)
with the hapless Stanley Tweedle
Xev, the half Cluster Lizard Love Slave,
and a Robot Head; The Dead do not whine!
Just be carefull how you wake me,
and we'll get along just fine!
(We'll be just fine!; {Please don't say divine!})
"He makes death beautiful"
by Tressia
-------------------
He was a man of promise, a man of romanic dreams,
He made it known to all he was truely what he seemed.
A lover, a friend, a warrior, in each he was skilled,
A man of noble virtue, a man so strongly willed.
A man of beauty and grace, always filled with wonder,
One day ended all he was, one fleeting moments plunder.
Now he is a force of darkness, A life no longer there,
His face is set in stone, blackness he now wears.
An emotionless killer, a handsome death.
Without a heartbeat, without a breath.
He knows not of love or hate, knows not of simple pleasures
Only memories left behind, of life's joys and treasures.
He walks the burdon of death, he carries it with strive.
Once so full of dreams and hopes, once he was alive.
Now he longs for peace, he longs to be no more,
His spirit never ending, a place his soul will soar.
One day, perhaps, he'll get his wish,
To be truly dead, to no longer exsist.
For now, he waits. The last of his kind, race.
He stays for now, he excepts his place.
To help instead of destroy, to save instead of kill
He may be dead and unfeeling, but he now has his will.
Last of his kind, assassin, last of his race, Brunnen-G,
The two somehow don't mix, a killer and a dreamer be.
If a chance should arise, you meet this soulful man,
Look into his dark green eyes, look as deep as you can.
For his story will unfold, then you will soon discover.
He is one of a kind, one like no other.
Only he can break you heart, He can make you cry,
The tragic way his life ended, no matter how hard you try.
You want to hold him close, to take away the pain
Though in his case, you know there is nothing to be gained
He has no feelings, no regret for what's he's done.
He remains under a pale mask, under a jet black bun.
His real self is gone, it will never return.
A light that shined so brightly, a candle so hot it burned.
He is dead, he once killed, you can't help but to marvel,
He makes death beautiful, like colors at a carnival.
A Lowly Robot Head's Ode to the Dark God of Sexual Ecstacy
By blarneystone
------------------
Oh Kai, Kai
Jewel of the Night Sky!
Let me run my diodes through your hair,
And find paradise in your undead glare!
Take no notice of Xev, the Love Slut
Allow not her hands to caress your butt
Nor her tongue to explore your crotch
While I in agony, am forced to watch
Give her to Tweedle, that's all she deserves!!
Instead, beloved, choose the robot head
We'll do Super Callanetics, only in bed
I'll twist you and turn you and tie you in knots
and pump you and squeeze you for all that you gots
I'll kiss you and lick you and worhip your mass
I'll fondle and tickle and bounce on your ass
My stream of sweet nothings never will cease
They'll be the KY jelly for your codpiece!
My Kingdom for a can opener!
Love ME, Dark Assasin of my heart
Ignore Slutty Xev and Stanley, that fart
Kiss me or spank me, I don't care which
I, 790, am your love's bitch
In short, Dark Angel, let down your locks
Let me rejoice forever as I roll in your . . socks
Give me a chance to fulfill my dreams
of seeing you naked and hearing you scream:
"Oh yes, 790, yes!! YEEEESSSSS!!! You are the Robot Head!!"
the end, or the beginning, it's up to you, oh Prince of the Undead Hotties!
To Lyekka
By Majsan
-------------------
Lyekka came from Stan's dream
And stepped out of the steam
With a body oh so supreme
And just as sweet as ice-cream
Lyekka brought us Xev back
Her soul is white and not black
If you her one day would meet
She would find you as a treat
Because she likes to eat
Living human meat
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