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Let's Hear it for the Boy |
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As we are all too well aware of, Howard Dean (according to
the press, Republicans, and old people) has pretty much ruined his chances
for getting the Democratic nomination for president. However, I challenge
this idea. Sure, he looked like a bad wrestling promoter, but let's
consider the flaws of the other candidates:
Joe Lieberman: If he has any hope in the world of becoming the #2 man in
the Democratic party ever again, then I have two words for him- face lift.
I've seen sagging faces before, but I've never seen sags on top of sags.
And they jiggle like crazy when he's talking. Mr. Lieberman may have the
cures for cancer and a solution to permanent world peace, but with his face
flapping around, no one will ever hear him. It's too distracting.
Denis Kucinich: He looks like ET, and yet still wonders why he's single...
John Edwards: I have two big problems with Mr. Edwards. 1) He used to be
an ambulance chaser, and I'm not sure if I want that person to run our
country. 2) He shares that name with the guy who thinks he can talk to dead
people. John "I see dead people" Edwards was once
voted "biggest douche in the universe" by the creators of South Park. While
many around the globe think our current president deserves that honor, I
really don't want the rest of the globe getting our president confused with
a half-a$$ed psychic.
Al Sharpton: I've nothing bad to say about him, except he needs a new hair
stylist. But then again, his hair is probably the best thing about him...
John Kerry: Skeletor with an afro. The man also has no personality. If he
were to get the party's nomination, I don't think he could beat Bush unless
he bores the country to sleep on election day and is the only person in
America to cast a vote.
General Wesley Clark: Ever notice how he looks like one of those kids on
Maury Povich that has that disease where the kids look 90 but are really age
2, uh 10. However, should he get the nomination, I think he would do as
good of a job as Dr. Dean.
So, as you see, everyone's got their flaws. Sure Dean yelled like a banshee
in heat. And he may not win New Hampshire. But here's something to think
about: John McCain (the only human Republican) won New Hampshire but in the
end lost the party's nomination. It's still
really early in the race. Besides, if Dean gets the nomination, then we can
be assured of an interesting presidential debate. I mean, look at the
British House of Commons- they regularly yell at one another and throw trash
at the Prime Minister. And the British people know more
about politics than Americans do. Dean could finally get people involved in
THEIR government. So, to all of you skeptics out there, don't count Dean
out just yet. He may just be the fix this country needs.
So until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other... -Kelly :)
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