A conversation I had with a certain coworker of mine on AIM. I plead the fifth on whether or not any alcohol or drugs were involved.
Sexy Government:
Sexy Government:Justin just kalled my house
Sexy Government:and asked me where u were
Sexy Government:and i said i didn't know
Sexy Government:and he called me a liar
Sexy Government:becuz he thinks that you're hiding out away from him
Sexy Government:cuz he thinks that you and carrot have gone out together on a "secret special' time a lone together
Sexy Government:and justin got VERY mad
Sexy Government:becuz he wants u to himself and he doesn't like sharing!!
Sexy Government:I mean, justlook at Brit Brit!!
Sexy Government:but newho
Sexy Government:he called my house and demanded to know where u were or else he'd kidnap and/or torture my family
Sexy Government:and i, being the devious little girl i am, wnet like "OMG NO!! DON'T TAKE MY SISTER!! YOU CAN'T TAKE MY SISTER!!"
Sexy Government:so naturally they came and took my sister away to torture her ;-) which means now i'm FREEEEEEEe!!!
Sexy Government:isn't that WONDERFUL!?!!?!?
Sexy Government:so i told him thati don't know where u r, but he STILL didn't believe me!!
Sexy Government:what kind of an idiot is that!??!?!
Sexy Government:but as i wuz sayuin b4
Sexy Government:justin came over and told me thta i had to tell him the truth: who had your affections, justin or carrot?
Sexy Government:i told him i didn't know
Sexy Government:he begged me to tell him, he said he had to know
Sexy Government:i told him i could only tell him if he gave me a present, such as lots of money or a brand new car or a house or something like that, as a bribe, then i could tell him
Sexy Government:but then he didn't have nething with him and he really wanted to know, so ... ummm .... i don't know how to tell you this ... :-[
Sexy Government:he gave me oral sex instead
Sexy Government::-[
Sexy Government:I"M SOOOOO SORRY!!!!
Sexy Government:i didn't mean to, it's just ... u know .... :-[
Sexy Government:so then i told him taht u really do luv him, but that ur past with carrot wuz blinding u to that fact
Sexy Government:so that's why you and carrot had gone off to "renew ur affections" as it were
Sexy Government:so then he ran off, leaving me naked and cold on the wood floor, running after u
Sexy Government:and then my sister walked in and wuz like "clean urself up!!"
Sexy Government:so i did
Sexy Government:and then i went on im
Sexy Government:and justin wuz on from his cell phone
Sexy Government:on im i mean
Sexy Government:and he im'd me saying that he wuz in his private jet and he needed to know where u were so he could go after u in his private jet to steal u away from carrot before u did nething that u would regret
Sexy Government:so i wuz like "ummmmm"
Sexy Government:and i wuz like "umm, i think he's on some island somewhere
Sexy Government:like, in the caribbean or somethong
Sexy Government:so he went there in his private jet while he im'd me, trying to make sure and stuff about ur location
Sexy Government:and he got there and he went to each island but u weren't there!!
Sexy Government:so he im'd me saying that he wuz mad at me cuz i didn't tell him teh truth, and it old him that i did
Sexy Government:but while i wuz on im with him, carrot came on im!!
Sexy Government:and i accidentally let it slip to carrot that justin wuz on his way there
Sexy Government:so carrot wuz like "OH SHIT!!"
Sexy Government:and u know what happened, i guess u and he packed up and went somewhere else, gettig off the island before justin's plane got there
Sexy Government:justin was FRANTIC
Sexy Government:so i told him that carrot might have accidentally some how possibly maybe found out that he was going there
Sexy Government:that made him REALLY pissed off!!!
Sexy Government:So then, umm what happened after that? oh yeah
Sexy Government:so i im'd justin and told him not to panic, that i'd im you or carrot and try and find out where u were
Sexy Government:so then carrot comes on im and i'm like "whwere are you??"
Sexy Government:and he refused to tell me!!
Sexy Government:so i wuz like "well fine i'm goign to im david then'
Sexy Government:and i im'd u
Sexy Government:but ..
Sexy Government:well, and then me iming u wuz the beginning of this convo!!! and then i told you about this whole sordid tale but then u weren't responding!!
Sexy Government:so i have no idea where u are
Sexy Government:and now justin just im'd me again
Sexy Government:and he said he im'd u but u didn't respond, and it broke his heart and his spirit
Sexy Government:so i says to him, "Justin," i says, "don't take it to heart! he's not responding to me either"
Sexy Government:so that made him a little happier
Sexy Government:and then i told him that as soon as u started actually talking to me and not ignoring me, that I'd try and get you to tell me where u r, and then i'd tell justin and he could go to u and the two of u could be together like true love should be, and you would shun carrot and then he'd be so sad that he'd go crawling back to cheech, and i could take a picture of the two of them making out and put it on my webbie!!!
Sexy Government:THE END
David Government:Cynthia, you’re CRAZY!!
