Diary Archive 5:

Entries 21-25

Ain't Life Grand ... Diary #21 July 10, 2002 8:14 am

Everything is soooo different for me now!! It's great. Fabulous. Daphne and I have put our differences behind us, and she's moved into my room in Carol's house (although Carol doesn't really approve, but we both have a strong dislike for PDA's, so she doesn't have to worry about Nina following her aunt's example and becumming a lesbian). We're deliriously happy. I know, I know, I know what you're thinking. Where's your pride, girl?! This is CYNTHIA, the woman who would take no shit from anyone! Well, I didn't know how to explain this at first, until last night I saw Splendor in the Grass and Natalie Wood said it perfectly: "I have no pride!" (or something to that effect). That's how it is for me. What's the point of pride, anyway? All it ever does is lead to unhappiness and cruelty and all sorts of bad things! It's about time we all just threw our pride away, and followed our hearts--no matter WHAT they said! Because when you're in love, it's all that matters. Love is everything to you. EVERYTHING. And that's how it is for me--I'm in love with Daphne, I always have been. I was hurt for awhile ... but time heals all wounds. I can live with the past, even though sometimes it hurts to think about it. But what I can't live without, is Daphne. I need her, and she needs me. I love her, and she loves me. And that's how it's going to be.

So, since I have nothing else to say and nothing interesting has happened recently (have you ever noticed that? When you're happy, life becomes uninteresting. But when life is interesting ... you become unhappy. Oh, what a cruel cruel world we live in!), I stole a survey from one of my friends (here's lookin' at you, Annie!) and decided to fill it out, since I have nothing better to do with my time.

01. Favorite color: Red, and blue

02. Favorite drinks: Anything with alcohol in it! LOL, my faves are vodka and of course skrewdrivers

03. Favorite computer accessory: Ummm ... what computer?

04. Favorite cookie: the classic, Chocolate chip

05. Favorite author: I work for the government--I don't have TIME to read!!

06. Favorite Beatle: Umm, does a ladybug count as a beatle? I think it's a type of beatle, but then again maybe I'm wrong ...

07. Favorite way of getting caffeinated: Coffee. Black. EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN MORNING!@$^!!~~ Oh wait! Silly me, that's Carol.

08. Favorite chipmunk: I especially love those hunks over at Chipendales. You know what I mean!

09. Favorite ice cream: Cookies 'n Cream ... or maybe Rocky Road.

10. Favorite lover: Daphne

11. do you believe in love at first sight: That's what Daphne and I had, believe it or not.

12. do you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom: ALWAYS

13. do you empty cartons back in the fridge: Never

14. do you do things you know you shouldn't: OBVIOUSLY! I work for the US GOVERNMENT!!

15. Do you take responsibility: The top-secret governmental kind, yes.

16. Do you have someone else's underwear: I'm wearing Daphne's thong right now.

17. Do you associate with people you don't even like: All the time. After all, as I've said about a hundred times already, I work for the government!

18. Do you have any psychological disorders: Too many to count!

19. Do you drink diet soda: Exclusively

20. Do you kiss on the first date: I rarely ever go on "dates"; usually what happens is I meat someone and then 15 minutes later we're in the back of his/her car. So, no, I don't usually kiss people until we're well into a relationship.

21. Have you masturbated in front of someone not your lover: Well, once my 4-year-old niece walked in on me while I was masturbating in front of my lover ... does that count?

22. Have you broken the law: Again: I WORK FOR THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT!! OF COURSE i have broken the law!!

23. Have you had one too many to drink: Actually, Daphne and I polished off and entire bottle of Vodka last night (mostly me) before going to bed ... so now I'm still a bit tipsy or hung over, or maybe both!!

23. Have you stuffed cocoa puffs up your nose: Well ... I'm gonna pull a Clinton here and say it depends on what you mean by the words "stuffed," "cocoa," "puffs," and "nose."

24. Have you backed into something: Yeah, I back my ass up into things all the time! (mostly peoples' groins!)

25. have you graduated high school: years ago ... hehe, now don't I feel like an old hag, all my lil friends just graduating or still in the rotten stinkhole?!?!

26. have you bitten someone until they bled: Only during sex.

27. have you ever stolen a street sign: DUH. I work for the government, remember?!

28. have you ever been kissed: Oh yes. In ever way, shape, and/or form possible!!! hehehe

29. have you ever been in a food fight: Ewwwww no

30. have you ever sucked helium: That's classified information

31. what are you not doing: Lying in bed next to Daphne

31. what are you talking about: Daphne

32. what are you wearing: Like I said before, Daphne's thong.

33. what are you craving: Daphne

34. what are you lusting: Daphne

35. what are you lacking: Daphne (she's still upstairs in my room and I'm all the way down here!!)

36. what are you going to do after this: Go and wake Daphne up with a little thing I call "morning munchies"

37. what are you dependent on: Daphne, Carol for letting me live in her house

38. what are you hoping: That Daphne and I will be together forever this time, and that she isn't barren so she can have our babies

39. what are you reading: Erotic Literature to put on my website (some of it's good, some of it's not so good!)

40. what are you listening to: The silence is overwhelming.

41. last movie you saw: Splendor in the Grass on tv last nite

42. last person you touched: Myself ... down there

43. last person you yelled at: Carol to get the fuck out of my room!!

44. last time you got pissed: this nite/morning at Carol because she walked in on me and Daphne doing stuff in my bed without even knocking and then got all upset because even tho she works for the government and everyone she knows is bi, she's still somewhat homophobic.

45. last person you told you loved: Daphne

46. last thing you drank: Vodka last night with Daphne

47. last year, what were you for Halloween: I was a prostitute, and Daphne was my pimp

48. last year, you were: with daphne

49. last time you were on the phone: Daphne called my cell from her friend's cell at like 1 am to say she was going to be late

50. last song you heard: Umm, I don't remember!

51. do you want to get married / divorce: Well, as everyone knows, I THOUGHT that I was married, and then that I was going to have to get a divorce, but luckily (from your point of view) the marriage was fake and so I'm still a single gal .. but yes, I'd like to marry Daphne in the near future, but I don't really want to get divorced, I want us to stay together forever this time.

52. do you want to have children: OF COURSE!! I want to have lots of children, and since I can't have them Daphne will have them, and David can be the father if he wants ... and if that doesn't work then I guess we'll have to adopt.

53. do you want to tell certain people off: Only everyone that works for the government and makes more money than me.

54. do you want to go outside: Not right now, I'd rather go upstairs to my room to lie down next to Daphne and get myself a little munch-munch.

55. do you want to be somewhere else: In my room w/Daphne

56. do you want to be someone else: Not really, I am the sweatiest thong evah!

57. do you want to be famous: Yes, please

58. do you want to go for a walk: from Daphne's knee all the way up along her thigh to her naughty bits? Oh yeah baby!

59. do you want to hug anyone: Daphne, while we're both naked

60. do you want to make a difference: In Daphne's life, yes. In the government ... well, it depends.

61. how do you feel about PDA: I don't like PDA's, never have, never will. I mean, c'mon people, just GET A ROOM ALREADY !! NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW THAT YOU TWO ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER!! THEY JUST DON'T CARE!!!

62. how do you feel about the other PDA: Mmmmmmmm. Pretty Darn Amazing.

63. how do you feel about alternative lifestyles: Well, seeing as how I'm bi and I'm living one right now ... they're pretty kewl!

64. how do you feel about president bush: Seeing as how I work for the government, and he's my boss ... President Bush is a magnificent person with a fabulous sense of humor and an incredibly virile, unstoppable sex drive (unlike Clinton who could only do one intern at a time).

65. how do you feel about birth control: love it!

66. how do you feel about abusive relationships: Been there, done that, do NOT want to do it again!

67. how do you feel about the internet: I love it; can't you tell? I'm on all the time!

68. how do you feel about your family: i love 'em all, especially Nina and Jared because they're so damn cute!

69. how do you feel about your friends: They are the best friends anyone has ever had!!

70. how do you feel about polygamy: No, thanx. I prefer Daphne.

71. do you like jelly beans: After all the plastic surg ... I mean, "work" I've had done on my teeth?! Of course not! ... heh, heh, heh .... ugh.

72. do you like it when it rains: eww it gets all sticky and messes up my hair! But then again it's fun to get naked and have sex in a mud puddle.

73. do you like to drive: Anytime, anyplace, Anyhow!

74. do you like to eat out: Mmmmmmm ... I like to eat outside the closet! Heh, if you know what I mean *munch, munch*

75. do you like being home: Home, in bed, with Daphne, yes, I do

76. do you like the people (or animals) you live with: Ooooh I love them!!

77. do you like emo: Nope

78. do you like Microsoft: It depends on what my boss says

79. do you like your name: It's ... interesting, I guess. Hehehe Cynthia Brown. Kinda catchy, dontcha think?

80. do you like the person you ganked this from: I love Annie! She is a kewt and sweaty thong!

81. worst musical artist: DAPHNE!! Hehe she couldn't sing to save her life!!

82. worst feeling in the world: Being dumped or finding out you've been cheated on

83. worst color combination: Black and blue. You know what I mean.

84. worst texture: dried blood on a corpse

85. worst taste to burp: dried blood from a corpse

86. worst thing about people: they make ugly corpses

87. worst thing about outer space: it's filled with corpses

88. worst element on the periodic table: DAMN TUNGSTEN!!!

89. Worst disease / infection to get: genital herpes >_<

90. worst position to sleep in: alone :(

91. you are: Missing Daphne

92. you are: touching myself thinking about daphne

93: you are: wanting to munch on daphne

94. you are: consumed by thoughts of daphne

95. You are: hoping to stay w/daphne forever and ever

96. You are: loving daphne with all my heart

97. You are: hoping that no one walks in on me and daphne!

98. You are: going to go upstairs and munch on daphne

99. You are: cumming RIGHT NOW!!! MMMMMMMM

100. You are: FINISHED--with touching myself AND this survey!!

Ta ta for now, everyone, I'm going upstairs and Daphne and I are going to GET IT ON!!

OMG!! Guess Who?! It's Britney!! Diary #22 July 10, 2002 8:58 am

OMG JEANINE!! I almost forgot!! TONIGHT is the BRITNEY SPEARS concert at the MCI Center!!! OMG OMG OMG!!! You all KNOW that I am a HUGE fan of Brit Brit!! And the thing is, since Carol works for the government, she's done some work with Brit Brit before (after all, they always get all those singers and actors and famous peeps to do SOMETHING for the CIA when they're overseas!) ... and since she KNOWS her, she managed to get some BACK STAGE PASSES!!!

SO I WILL FINALLY GET TO MEAT BRIT BRIT IN PERSON TONIGHT!! OMG OMG OMG!!!

I am sooooo excited, it is NOT even phunny!! I'm creaming my (Daphne's) thong just THINKING about it!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!

Anywho, so I'm just going with me and Carol, because she could only get two tickets and Daphne doesn't like Brit Brit anyway (BLASHPHEMY!!) so ... I get to meat her !! YAYAYAYAYYAA!!!!

Heheheheeheh i'm soooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!! YIKES!!

OMG I've REALLY got the munchies now!!!! ....although I'm afraid that I'm going to have to pretend it's Brit Brit I'm munching on, I've had the BIGGEST crush on her, FOREVER!!

Ohhh, Brit Brit .... mmmmmmmmm....

Ok, I'm gonna share ALL the dish tomorrow, after the concert! Hehehehe, i CANT FRIGGIN' WAIT!!!

My Evening with Brit Brit: Diary #23 July 12, 2002 12:11 pm

It began as any other Britney Spears concert would. Amazing. And it ended ... well, honestly, it ended with me and Brit Brit in a torrid embrace!!

No ... that's not how it ended. That's ... well, more on that later!

But first, about me and Brit Brit.

As we all know, Carol had past "dealings" with Brit Brit, and therefore knew her. So, she took Nina (who came with us because as it turns out, Carol DID have three tickets, she was just saving one for Nina, who is a HUGE Britney fan!!) to meat her, and Nina was crying tears of joy. In fact ... not all the wetness surrounding her were tears, if you catch my drift!! Yes, Nina, cute little doll that she is, WET HERSELF in the presence of the immortal Brit Brit.

But anywho, about me. So we looked at each other, and our eyes met ... and we knew, in that instant, it was FATE!! So, after a short amount of time of chit chat and everything, we excused ourselves to her private dressing room, where we locked the door and promptly did the nasty.

Believe me, Britney is NOT a one-minute woman!! We went on for nearly an hour ... we would have gone for more, but she's a very busy chica with a very busy schedule!! But at least I did get to munch ... and OMG JEANINE!! She is the JUICIEST JUICE of a woman I have ever munched upon!! I mean, the juices flowed FREELY from her!! It was CRAZY!! But you know what? I LOVED it!! Oh, Brit Brit ... she is soooo awesome!!

She had to go after we "finished' ... but she gave me her cell phone number, and told me she'd call me the very next day (which right now I think would be yesterday) ... and with a kiss, we parted.

You know, I never knew that Britney was bi. I had always thought she was straight! But according to her, it has to do with the fact that she has to maintain a reputation, just because all these little kids look up to her, and if she came out, then their parents would be shocked and outraged, because, let's face it, most parents are total homophobes!! And even if they deny it or pay lip service to "tolerance" and "acceptance" and "political correctness" and all that stuff ... they're still homophobes at heart, and would take measures to prevent their children from listening to her music. After all, it doesn't matter to them whether or not she's a slut or dresses in skimpy, sexy clothing--however, if they found out she were bi, that woudl be a whole nother matter! Wow, I hate hipocrites!!

But anywho. So after my passionated evening with Britney, I went home, in a daze of bliss ... until I realized that Daphne and I had JUST gotten back together, and I had JUST cheated on someone for the FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!! I felt so ashamed. How could I tell Daphne? She would totally gloat in my face. After me telling her about how horrible it was for her to cheat on me ... and then I do the same thing back to her?! It was crazy. But the difference was that mine was a one night stand, with BRITNEY SPEARS ... and Daphne ... well ... she was sleeping with another woman for OVER SIX MONTHS. And it was no one special.

But anywho, I got home, and it was very late like 3 am or something, I guess ... and Daphne wasn't there. Kara and Monica hadn't seen her. They said she'd gone out earlier. I was kind of worried. So, I called her on her cell phone. And, wonder of wonders ... guess who picked up?

That's right. PROFESSOR CONNIE!!! She asked who it was and I said Lorelai and asked to speak to Daphne. So then she passed the phone over to daphne and before I could even let out a peep about how I knew what was going on, she started giggling and laughing, and talking about how I'd called at the WORST time because they were just about to start all over again. But she figured it must be something important, for me to call while she was out with Professor Connie.

"It is," I said, stonily.

Daphne recognized my voice. She went completely silent. I could hear Professor Connie in the background ... munching. And then laughing huskily and asking what had taken Daphne's breath away. She said, in a stricken voice, "It's not Lorelai. It's Cynthia." With that, Professor Connie went silent, too.

I tried to remain calm. "Daphne," I said, "I never want to see you again. We're through."

And then I hung up. The phone rang a minute later; I picked up the receiver and then jammed it back down. Then, I took the phone off the hook. So, a minute later, my cell phone starts ringing. I turn it off. I REALLY didn't want to talk to Daphne right then. After all, here I had been, feeling all guilty about sleaping with Britney Spears, and then I learn that Daphne is sleeping with Professor Connie--the same woman my ex-husband cheated on me with!!

It was all just too much, so I went up to the guestroom (Daphne's things were still in my room) and went to sleep.

In the morning I found out that Kara and Monica had thrown Daphne's things out the window into the yard, and had vacuumed and had air freshened my room so that it didn't smell or look like her. Those guys are SUCH great friends!!

So anywho, I went to work; there were about a bajillion messages from Daphne on my machine but I deleted them all. She sent me a ton of emails, too--and e-cards saying "I'm sorry". She even went so far as to send a bouquet of red roses to my office with a card saying "I'm sorry". I threw them in the trash, of course.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I'm NEVER getting back with that conniving bitch EVER again!!

On a lighter note, Brit Brit called as promised. I was surprised--usually, they say they'll call, but they never do. She said she missed me, and wanted to see me again. She said after her tour was through ... we might be able to work something out. I was ecstatic!

Isn't it interesting, though ... how the best night of my life and the worst night of my life can both take place on the SAME NIGHT?! Just a few hours apart. Strange, isn't it. Very strange.

But one thing I've learned from all this: Never trust anyone. And don't enter relationships. You'll just get your heartbroken, time and time again. And it's about time I start practicing what I preach. About time I stop entering relationship after relationship, only to get burn. Maybe I should just be single for awhile. Amidst one night stands, and torrid affairs. No time for a relationship. Just playing the field.

Perhaps that's the game that suits me best.

But Hark, What Light Through Yonder Window Breaks? It is the East! And Monica is the Sun! Diary #24 July 15, 2002 6:52 am

Wow, I just noticed how selfish I've been recently ... basically my journal entries have been all about MYSELF and all the weird stuff that's been going on in my soap-operaish life ... but in the meantime, I've been COMPLETELY ignoring my friends! Because their lives have not been dull in the past few weeks, either!

Kara ... well, let's not get started on that. That would take WAY too much time for me to explain THAT situation to everyone.

But Monica ... well, yeah, today I think I'll talk about Monica, since she is, after all, moving back home tomorrow, my to my sorrow. And while she's been here, sooo much stuff has happened, it wasn't at all like the giant extended slumber party that I thought it would be.

First of all, perhaps I should explain about Monica's incredibly dysfunctional family; they're sooo bad they make the Osbournes look normal (and they're so foulmouthed that, compared to them, the censors would LOVE the Osbournes!).

First of all, her parents are divorced, and her dad is also divorced from his second wife--and yet ALL of them live TOGETHER!!

Ok, I'll begin with the name dropping so that you don't get confused (even I was a little confused at first; her familial life is even more complicated than Carol's and Mine!) Her mom is named Janelle, her dad is Peter, and her stepmom is Lauren. They all share the same last name, Jordan (because neither her mom or stepmom ever remarried after their divorces; in fact, Monica's not sure because she doesn't ask, but she thinks that her mom and stepmom are both still sleeping with her dad occasionally--even though he does have girlfriends who sometimes come to live with them o_0 .. got it?!) To make things even MORE complicated, her stepmom is also her aunt--Janelle and Lauren are TWIN SISTERS!! Janelle is older by a few hours, and they're fraternal and look nothing alike.

So yeah ... that's just kind of random! Anywho, before I get to the latest developments in this saga (which led to Monica moving in with me and now lead to her moving back home), perhaps I should provide some background information, so that you don't get confused (although, even knowing all the background, I'm STILL confused ...)

Peter actually met Lauren first, back when they were in high school. They dated for awhile and slept together, but then her older twin sister, Janelle, came back from some international school she went to in London. And Janelle is your typical Blond Bombshell; no man can resist her. So Peter dumped Lauren for her sister, and they got married shortly after, because Janelle got pregnant and told him that if he didn't marry her, she would milk him for every penny he was worth in terms of child support, PLUS she would never sleep again. So, they got married, just days before Monica's older sister, Karen, was born (Karen is now 22, but although she's closer in age to me and Kara ... we just really don't get along with her at all! She is like the complete opposite of Monica it's crazy. In fact, there has been some speculation that she and Monica are actually half-sisters, and that Janelle got pregnant by someone else but made Peter marry her because Karen's father wouldn't. But as there have never been any paternity tests done, no one knows for sure except Janelle--and even she may not know if it's his baby or some other guy she was sleeping with at around the same time! So we just assume that Karen is Peter's daughter, and leave it at that).

Meanwhile, around the time Karen was born, Lauren was conceiving some children of her own, twins Ellie and John, both currently 21 (although I think there birthday is coming up sometime in the fall, but I don't really remember). She wasn't married at the time, and didn't exactly have any money or a job to speak of, so she moved in with Peter and Janelle, so that they could support her. She began sleeping with Peter again, when Janelle wasn't around. So basically, he got to sleep with both of them!

But anywho, shoot ahead four years and Monica was born, 18 years ago last april. She is such a sweet little girl ... and her parents are such hippies, basically her dad, her mom, and her stepmom smoke weed almost every day, and have done harder drugs at various times; plus, they drink a whole lot to boot. Those people are like sooo messed up it's KRAZY!! But anywho, it's weird how Monica has escaped all that; she doesn't do much of anything (doesn't drink much, doesn't smoke much, doesn't have sex at ALL), not nearly as much as her parents do! LOL, the opposite of most cases, and I right, chicas? ^_~

But anywho, where wuz I? Oh yes. So, Monica was born. Shortly after her birth, Lauren became pregnant again, with a baby she claimed was Peter's. So, since he has this thing about wanting his kids to be legitimate--and Monica and Karen were already legitimate--he divorced Janelle and married her twin sister, Lauren (although he and Janelle continued to sleep together--apparently, she totally understood what he was doing, because she'd wanted her kids legitimate too, but Lauren already had to illegitimate babies). Anywho, Lauren ended up having a premie/stillbirth ... and although most babies these days can be saved through technology and stuff, this one had like a hole in its heart or something, and died after only 3 days, without a name. So then Lauren went into a total depression, because she does honestly like children and wanted another one. But the labor had also been hard, and the doctors told her something similar to what they told me recently; she could never bare any more babies.

Needless to say, she was DEVASTATED!! So, Peter had planned to divorce her since there was no need for them to stay married, but when she went into her complete depresso-mania thing, he decided against it; he couldn't make her life even WORSE! So things continued on like that for a long time, the three of them and their children all living together in the same house, Peter sleeping with both his wife and her twin sister, his ex-wife. And meanwhile, Monica grew up.

Then one day Janelle came home and she was naked and bloody and bruised ... she had just been raped! Monica was only about 6 or 7 at the time, so she had no idea what was going on .. she just knew that some bad man had done something bad to her mommy! And nine months later, Monica's little half-brother, David, was born (although they still don't know who his father is).

And after that things returned to "normal" ... the three of them slept together and raised the kids together, etc etc, all while having lovers on the side. Then, just a few years ago, Peter decided he didn't want to be married any more, so he divorced Lauren. And then he started getting really serious with one of his girlfriends, to the point where he neglected BOTH his ex-wives, and his children! So Janelle and Lauren got together and plotted to make the bitch get the hell out of their lives--and it worked (although, because most of what they did was kind of illegal, I'm not supposed to actually say WHAT they did ... just think something that is ILLEGAL, and GUARANTEED TO MAKE A BITCH GO AWAY and I'm sure you'll know what I'm talking about!)

So after that ... well, things continued, and nothing else MAJOR happened, although they've all had lovers come and live with them for awhile, and I've heard rumors of orgies ... but nothing confirmed yet. Heh, those hippies!

Anywho, back to a little over a month ago I guess it was, and there was a HUGE fight between them! Apparently, Peter had asked his current girlfriend (who he'd known for like two days) to MARRY him!! So when Janelle and Lauren heard this they totally flipped out and started throwing things and going crazy. And since none of Monica's siblings live there except her and David, she wanted to get out. Which is why she came to live with me. During the meantime, her mom and aunt moved out with David and moved into Karen's apartment. Monica and Karen don't really get along ... which is why she stayed with me, because she also hates her dad's fiancee, who moved in with him after her mom moved out.

PHEW! That's a lot of stuff going on there! So, during the past month, when Monica hasn't been going at her role of being my great friend and comforting me in my time of need, she has been keeping up with her home situation.

She, her mom, and her aunt all wanted things to go back to normal (or at least, normal for them; trust me, I've seen how they go about their daily lives, and it is nowhere NEAR normal!!), so they decided to make a plan to break up her dad and his fiancee. It had been done before, illegally, with that other girl; but then, he hadn't asked that one to marry him! So this time, they had to distance both their affections; it was more important to make Peter stop liking his Fiancee (who I will refer to now as "Trisha" because I probably shouldn't use her real name but she needs to have a name for this story), than to make Trisha stop liking him.

So, they plotted and planned, and then they decided what they had to do, after they found out a small piece of information about Trisha that they NEW would make Peter end the engagement! They put their plan into action just a few short days ago.

Monica ran into the house, crying, while her dad and Trisha were making out on the couch. Peter was incredibly surprised to see her, since after all she had been gone for over a month.

Monica burst out with a tale of how she had met "this guy" as she called him, and they had done the nasty, and now she was PREGNANT but he refused to be a man and do anything about it! So, she concluded, she needed some money for an abortion.

Peter (being the incredibly liberal, pro-choice man that he is) nodded and said that was a wise decision; Monica was simply too young to have a baby, and she was planning to start college in the fall!

Trisha's mouth dropped open. You see, what Monica had found out about her dad's fiancee was that she was INCREDIBLY pro-life, in fact she even participated in picketing abortion clinics! So, naturally, Trisha jumps up and tells him about how abortion is wrong and Monica should just have to deal with her mistake and yada yada yada.

So Peter and Trisha get into a HUGE fight, and she throws her engagement ring at him and tells him that she wouldn't marry him if he were the last man on earth, and he lets her know that the feeling is mutual. And then she goes upstairs, throws her things in a suitcase, and leaves, slamming the door on the way out.

So meanwhile Monica is standing there, sniffling, and Peter's all sorry for upsetting her and she tells him she's ok, and she's not actually pregnant, she's still a VIRGIN. And he's all surprised but she tells him that she knows he and Trisha would never be happy since their both so fervent about their beliefs--and their beliefs are complete opposites!

So then Peter admits that he and Trisha's relationship didn't exactly consist of too much TALKING if you know what I mean ^_~ So then Monica asked if she and her mom and her aunt could all come home and he said that yeah, he misses them. And apparently he also muttered something under his breath about how Trisha's throat isn't NEARLY as deep as Lauren's ... but Monica pretended not to hear (although she told me EVERY SINGLE DETAIL!! heehe).

So then, they're all moving back in tomorrow, which is GREAT. Although I'll miss having Monica around; now it'll be just me and Kara (although Kara's planning to move back in with her parents soon, too, but she told me specifically not to talk about her family, she doesn't want weird stuff about them floating around on the internet ... you know).

So ... yeah! Hehe, GOOD LUCK MONICA!!!!! I'll miss you, and I hope everything returns to "normal" back home!

Love,

Cynthia

Final Confrontation with Professor Connie Diary #25 July 18, 2002 8:44 am

Well, yesterday was ... strange.

For the first time since everything happened ... I spoke to Professor Connie.

Wanna know what happened?

Good, because I'm going to tell you!

Yesterday began like any other day ... get up, go to work, etc, etc. Only, once I got to work, who did I see sitting in my chair in my office but, you guessed it--Professor Connie.

I stood in the door to my office, stunned. What was she doing there? What could she possibly want.

She looked up and saw me standing there, and then stood up herself. There was an awkward silence for a few moments, and then she said, with all seriousness, "We need to talk."

I nodded in agreement. I was still speechless, and couldn't trust myself to speak, lest I say something that I might regret at some point in the near future.

So she walked around the desk to the chair in front, and I went around to my own chair, and we sat there for a few minutes of more awkward silence, neither of us able to look the other straight in the eye.

Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and I looked up at her and exclaimed, "why did you do it?!"

She just kind of stared at me for a moment, frowning. And then she shook her head. "Oh, Cynthia ... I'm so sorry."

And then it all came out, the whole, sordid tale.

It began awhile back, when Delilah tried to burn down the house where she was secretly meating with a male lover. After that, she broke up with Delilah, but then ... well, Delilah began stalking her, and acted as though they were still together. Connie knew that if she tried to end it, Delilah could do something really psychotic, and that was not cool. So, they got back together. But Connie didn't want to be in that relationship--so she began to cheat.

It started just a little bit at first. A few renez-vous here and there, a clandestine meating in the park, or a parked car. But then, it grew more serious, and suddenly she was trying to sleep with as many people as she could, anyone, to drown out the sorrows of being in a relationship with an insane--and insanely possessive-woman.

To make matters worse, during this time Professor Connie went to see a psychologist about her problems, and the psychologist recommended a certain medication (that shall remain nameless, to protect the guilty) to her. And this medication, it turned out, was incredibly addictive--and had horrible side effects that would end up devastating my life, even though Professor Connie didn't know that at the time.

One thing this medication did was to affect her pheromones (or something like that) in some way that made her incredibly irresistible to members of BOTH sexes, so she could basically sleep with whomever she wanted as anyone would just immediately hop into bed with her, no matter how much in love they were with another individual. Another thing it did was to take away her inhibitions--normally Connie (like myself) wouldn't sleep with someone who was in a committed relationship, but due to the medication she became incredibly promiscuous, and all that mattered to her was an attraction to a person, and nothing else. So she became even more of a slut than she was before, sleeping with anyone she found the least bit attractive, including Leo, Lynn, and Daphne.

In the end, she realized that something was wrong with her when her bowel movements became screwed up (another side effect of the medication), and so she went to the doctor, who told her what had been going on. She had immediately gone off the medication.

I was stunned by this news. All this time I had thought Professor Connie was the bad guy, when in reality, she was much like me--a victim. As were all those who slept with her--victims of nature's perfume, pheromones (or something like that? i dont' remember). Such a crazy situation, everything I've been through, caused by something that none of us had control over, least of all Professor Connie.

So we cried and hugged and cried and hugged some more, and now we're friends. I even told her about what happened with me and Delilah.

Actually, she was glad that I told her about Delilah. She said that she'd been looking for a legitimate excuse to break up with her, and here it was on a silver platter!

So we laughed together and then Professor Connie left to go to work at YABS (Yorktown Academy Beauty School).

But wait--you were thinking that was the end, weren't you? Well ... it wasn't.

An hour or so later, Professor Connie was back--and she looked AWFUL!! I asked her what was wrong and she said that when she got back to YABS ... the entire place had burned down to the ground! She was sobbing, because not only did she work there (although she does have a part-time government temp job too, she fills in for people who are sick or something at the government as her second job), but she lived there too--she had recently been evicted (on less than 24 hour notice, which is completely absurd and ILLEGAL, but what can you do?! Another effect of the medication, as her landlady was incredibly religious and not only believed that homosexuality was wrong, but also believed that sex out of marriage was wrong and called Connie a prostitute and a sinner and much, much worse) and had no where else to go, so she had temporarily moved into her office at YABS until she could find another place to live. But everything--and i mean EVERYTHING was gone, burned to a rubble. It was horrible.

So, being Cynthia Brown, what do I do but offer her a place at my house? After all, Monica just left, and although hanging out with Kara is lots of fun, it does sometimes get lonely with just the two of us. So I told Professor Connie to cum and live with us ... and she agreed.

So now, Professor Connie is living with us. And wearing my clothes, because all of hers were burned down. And I have to admit ... although she is still sort of responsible for all the troubles in my life, and although she's not really that attractive (though very trendy!) ... I must admit, there is a certain sexual tension between us.

I wonder what will happen? But whatever happens is okay with me. Because now ... I've decided to stop anticipating. To just let things happen, if and when they happen. So whatever happens (or doesn't happen) is just find with me. I just hope that if something happens ... it happens good!