Sandy vs The World

Chapter 1

by Greggor V. Püchaps

She finally got the promotion! Sandy had been working at the beauty supply for the past 4 years -- ever since she got preggers with her little baby Jayme Leann and had to drop out of the 9th grade to raise her. Here she was, a fresh-faced teen-age girl...but looks are decieving! Her nappy hair, dyed a harsh orange color with over four inches of mouse brown roots and her eyes, naturally black, covered with fake bright green contacts made her look even younger! And as everyone knew, the manager Allianeo, a strict Italian man well into his mid-late 60s, sure had a pencent for the young ladies! Everyone who had worked there quit -- they could never get promoted above the measley $5.04 an hour salary. But Sandy beat all odds! She got the promotion! As she raced out of “Connie’s Beauty Supply” store, fueled off of Diet Cola, speed, a few lines of coke she had done a few minutes prior in the privacy of her own bathroom, and her natural exuberence, she stopped for a second.

She had to go get makeup! Now, common sense would denote that since she did work at a beauty supply store she should have just picked up her cosmetic items there. But no, simple minds like Sandy’s don’t work like that. As she scurried into the CVS, clad only in a soiled and stained Tweety Bird t-shirt, cut off sweat pants to her “private area”, and 7 inch heels, she knew where she had to go. No one got in her way as she marched at a steady pace to Aisle 7, her most favorite aisle in the world! On went the green eye-shadow, the flesh-coloured lips, the bright orange mascara. Over 14 colors touched her nails until she decided on one -- a putrid purple with a green streak down each one. Her eyes caught Sally Hanson’s bikini wax! She had to wax it!

She sat down right in the aisle as she poured burning hot wax (which she conviently heated up in the mircrowave section that just happened to be on the other side of the aisle) over her “you know what” area, pushing her thong to either side as she grimaced with each trickle of wax. Tears streamed out of her eyes as she ripped the hairs off. She threw her hair back passionatly as she started moaning -- hot wax always got her like this. Hot and steamy.

She rolled back and forth in a fetal position, pulling out chuncks of her smelly, greasy hair. She was in ecstasy...she touched her private area gently, so gently until she grabbed an electric toothbrush. She knew just exactly where this sucker was going!

“Excuse me, Ma’am?”

Sandy looked up, her eyes wide with terror. Standing above her at the towering height of 4’9 (well, she WAS laying down on the ground) was Margueritia-Tya, the CVS employee of the month AND avid “woman of the town’”. Her lips, outlined in a deep black, were bunched together as she put her hands on her waist. Her secret love! She found her!

“Ma’am, you’re going to have to pay for all those cosmetics you’re done put on your facie face!” Sandy managed to shed a tear. She stuttered before starting -- “B-b-but...I’m just so happy!”

Sandy, in an act of desperation, took a large powder puff and aggressively jumped forward and started punching Margueritia-Tya in the face with it. Margueritia’s arms flailed as she was bombasted with such a violent hate crime! A power smoke screen had emerged! Noting that she was distracted, Sandy run as fast as her little legs would carry her. Instead of waiting the standard 3 seconds it would require for the automatic doors to open, Sandy instead chose to jump through the glass, shattering it into millions of shards. But nothing could ruin her perfect day -- the day of her promotion!

The blood combined with the numerous powders, creams, lotions, mascaras, and other products she had adorned her body with. Her sight beginning to grow dark, she limped over to young boy that was riding on a tricycle next to his mother. A stream of blood marked her every move.

“Come on, little Bobby!”, the mother, her freshly permed hair bouncing in the summery autumn hair. “Let’s go to the park!”

“Okay, Mommy!” He said, his face shining with pure, youthful bliss. His little legs pumped the tricylce pedels, laughing gayfully as he struggled to keep up with his mother!

Sandy hobbled over to the little boy, and grimaced. The mother looked up in shock, as before her stood a bedraggled woman, her hair all tousled, clad only in a thong and a Tweety Bird t-shirt. She was covered with blood, her pupils large. Her fists clenched.

“Oh my God!! Not you, Sandy!”

A faint look of recognition flashed past Sandy’s eyes, but she was too far gone now.

“It’s me, Grandma Suzie! I thought I told you to leave us alone! The judge will hear about this in the morning!” The one blissful mother was now obviously aggitated. Not a day over thirty, her brow furrowed, her middle finger extended towards the sordid Sandy. “Leave my baby alone!”

Sandy lept foward, like a feral wildcat, and push the little boy over the tricycle and began to pump furiously, her thong riding up her butt crack a bit. Gunshots were heard in the distance as she flipped over into oncoming traffic. Before closing her eyes, for possibly the last time, the girl from the CVS was there. Her true love of her dreams, Margueritia-Tya.

To be continued in "Sandy vs. the World: The Roaring Red Head"