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***august 2001***
<<<7:27pm>>> that Old Navy commercial on t.v. for the low rise hiphuggers is so annoying! for some reason it bugs me to no end when the chick says, "the only thing lower...is the price!" and does that stupid little disco move. i hate that! if you haven't caught it yet, watch the commercial here, imagine it being played at least five times every half hour, and you'll see what i mean. <<<4:35pm>>> Nothin' Left To Do But Smile, Smile, Smile... Ted Hughes is the devil. wait, he's dead?!? how did i manage to miss the blessed event?? some parting, heartfelt words from me to the venerable *cough* Mr. Hughes:
ah, the end of an era...of irrational abuse. fond memories. <<<31 august 2001 2:34pm>>> Princess Di Did Just That-- Die let's face it, folks. do you really believe she's floating around up there in the clouds, looking down in saintly gratitude for all the flowers and notes and Special Edition People magazine covers? i doubt that. most likely, her soul has already been reborn into a nice black family in Detroit, who will never be able to decipher their son's latent penchant for tiaras. nothing to see here. move along. <<<5:58pm>>> Finally, this site proves what i've known all along-- that drivers in Atlanta are mentally incapacitated. not simply coked out, as i originally suspected, although i'm sure that may be exacerbating things. <<<30 august 2001 4:03pm>>> current music: Madonna, Something To Remember; Juan Atkins, Waxtrax! MasterMix Vol. 1 You'd Be Surprised How Much It Costs To Smell This Cheap i'm sort of a girly-girl, a real high heels-and-handbag type when i feel like it. however feminine i'm feeling on any given day, though, i like to smell good. fragrance is to me what morning coffee is to most other people-- the day hasn't begun until i've dabbed a little something behind my ears. i used to only wear Coco by Chanel, my fragrance of choice. about a year ago, i added a flacon of Thierry Mugler's Angel to my bathroom countertop. however, having recently befriended my local fragrance counter-lady and her cache of samples, i've had the privilege of trying a good many new perfumes over the past few months. below are some short reviews of a number of fragrances i've road-tested so far: Ralph Lauren Glamourous: this soft, rose-and-carnation floral scent is pleasing enough, but i can't say that i could distinguish it from a million other classic fragrances in a crowd. nice, but not very original. it rather reminds me of my mother's favorite L'Air Du Temps. also, the scent is virtually gone after a couple of hours. extremely feminine, but i can't say i recommend it because, well, who wants to smell like their mother? Isabella Rossellini Manifesto: normally, i'm not a big fan of fragrances whose descriptions contain words like "fresh", "green", or "modern", like the horrendous Tommy Girl (aka The World's Most Expensive Bug Repellent) or Gucci Rush. but Manifesto has really grown on me in last few weeks. it's clean without smelling like deodorant, and "modern" without being jarring, and i dare say it's the most original fragrance to appear in years. i'm so impressed with this fragrance that i'll likely spring for an entire bottle; in fact, i've been impressed with Rossellini's entire Manifesto cosmetic line-- simple, practical packaging, pretty colors, and especially her tiny "one-time-use" travel soaps. all in all, my favorite of the new fragrances. i highly recommend it. Jean-Paul Gaultier Fragile: i'm going to go ahead and tell you something the fragrance counter-lady won't, for obvious reasons: this fragrance is vile. it literally makes me nauseous. i almost hate this fragrance as much as i hate Fracas. not only does it smell like a charming combination of gin & tonic and sweaty ass, it has that musty, tuberose-y, old lady quality that is so hard to put your finger on, sort of like the Fracas for the new millenium. a bit of a shame, since the bottle (a small diva-figure in a gold glitter snowglobe) is so adorable, but...absolutely hideous. avoid at all cost. Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle: this is basically a lighter, updated version of my beloved Coco. i would call it the ultimate girly fragrance-- not as cloyingly sweet as No. 5, soft but still very sensual, and has excellent staying power. i would recommend this if you favor spicy, oriental scents and want something sophisticated, but understated. <<<6:23pm>>> current music: Trainspotting Soundtrack Vol. 2 Deranged Filmmaking Tip #2 you might recall the film i envisaged in a dream several nights back and took notes about? well, i've decided i should appear in my film as a cameo. however, my brief appearance has already posed some technical difficulties. i decided that, for my grand entrance, i wanted to pay homage to my favorite scene in The Exorcist, in which Linda Blair comes down a flight of stairs backwards and on all fours, with blood simultaneously streaming out of her mouth. but i just don't know *how* to achieve the desired effect, since i want to keep it creepy and surreal, and slightly more convincing than the original shot, but not necessarily rely on too many digital effects, which would really kill the feel of the film, i fear. so, short of actually attempting to walk downstairs backwards and on all fours-- (brief pause as i give it a try) never mind, that would be impossible. any other ideas on how to orchestrate my freak-out cameo? oh, and my film needs a name, too. i'm open to suggestions. <<<29 August 2001>>> current music: Bjork, Vespertine; Blondie, The Best Of Blondie yesterday morning i arrived at work in a cranky blah mood. but they were playing Bjork's Homogenic on the CD player, and my mood improved within minutes! Homogenic is such a good album. Bjork's new album is Vespertine. i think it's amazing, but of course, i'm not hard to please when it comes to Bjork. i can easily see it being presented in a church-- not only does she feature a choir, but the album has a hushed, organic, acoustic quality, as within a cathedral, with a lot more emphasis on string instruments than her previous projects. as i've only twice listened to it straight through, i can't yet say that i *love* it in the same way i love Post or Homogenic, but i like it better than Selmasongs. so far "Cocoon" and "Pagan Poetry" really strike a chord with me. <<<7:43pm>>> Deranged Filmmaking Tip #1 whenever i actually sleep, i have vivid, intricate dreams that seem to last the entire time i'm asleep. sometimes, it turns out i'm most creative while unconscious; i've written whole poems and songs while dreaming (written down immediately upon waking) and even formulated, scene by scene, an entire film. the night before last i dreamt i had made it my mission to film the scariest, most disturbing, most bizarre, most psychologically destructive film ever concieved. and i did it-- the end result was rather like an odd combination of Suspiria, The Serpent And The Rainbow and the original 1963 The Haunting. in the dream i premiered my film to the public and was thrilled that the reaction was exactly as i had hoped-- people were actually fainting and fleeing from the theatre in fright, and some who stayed for the remainder of the film had to be hospitalized later, in a state of catatonic psychosis. public reaction to this film was so extreme, in fact, that i was threatened with criminal charges and deportation (for some reason, i had moved to italy, where the filming took place) and a small group of fans and those involved with my production had banded together to raise funds for my legal defense...and that's when i woke up. i wrote down all the details of the filming-- equipment used, colors, sets, lighting, costumes, etc. that i could remember as soon as i was awake. i've been reading them over for the past hour. many of them are just silly and hilarious, but i've actually come up with some pretty good ideas for future projects as well. <<<4:25pm>>> It's Official Now-- I Have No Religion my results for the "Belief System Selector" at Selectsmart Dot Com: 64% Scientology? Yikes.
<<<2:27 pm>>>
last night we watched part of documentary called "The Human Face" on TLC. one section featured a mexican woman who had married into a white family, and was so intimidated by her WASP-y sisters-in-law's lily-white features, she had decided to undergo plastic surgery to alter her "latin" nose, so that she might "fit in" more.
what.the.fuck.
i myself have a fairly "latin" featured face, if you want to describe it that way (i don't). yes, there were times growing up when i wished for a more aquiline nose. in fact, there were times growing up when i wished for a smaller butt, smaller tits, two eyebrows and not one big one, straighter hair, bluer eyes. yes, it took a good while to "grow into" my nose. but for christ's sake, it's my NOSE; i breathe through it, it works just fine, and i'll be damned if i go under the knife just because i don't "fit in" with the Gwyneth Paltrow Seal Of Approval Society. there was nothing wrong with this woman's nose; in fact, it very much resembled my own.
i'm shocked that the plastic surgeon even agreed to do it in the first place. at the interview with the surgeon, she had actually brought pictures of her anglo sisters-in-law, and they were shown going through the photos and she basically said, "make me look like these people". had i been that surgeon, i would have demanded she see a therapist at least once. take two doses of Frida Kahlo and call me in the morning, sister.
even her own husband was all for it! i'm sorry to say this, but maybe what this chick needs is not a new nose, but new in-laws.
<<<28 august 2001 1:07pm>>>
To the Lexus-driving bitch behind me who honked at me for slowing down so I wouldn't slam into the truck that had pulled out in front of me, and then had the audacity to give ME the finger when I turned to look at her: You wanna keep that finger, cunt? That's what I thought.
<<<27 august 2001 8:20pm>>>
The Piggies Are Going To Eat You, Oink Oink!!
i want to see Hannibal on DVD sometime this week, not for the "deleted scenes" that it advertises (there's always a reason why they are "deleted scenes" in the first place), but because i'm curious about the "alternate ending". Will it resemble the much-vilified ending of the book?
i never understood why the film Hannibal got such a bad rap. true, it's nothing like The Silence Of The Lambs, but i still thought it was dang entertaining, and pretty original. if you insist on comparing it to its predecessor, you have to be fair and realize that it had two strikes against it to begin with-- it didn't have the original Clarice, or the original director. it's a completely different vision from that of Jonathan Demme's. if you want The Silence Of The Lambs, then by all means get your hands on it and watch it; it's great and certainly doesn't suffer on the smaller screen.
let's not compare apples and oranges. The Silence Of The Lambs is a masterpiece. can't we just agree on that and move on?
<<<26 august 2001 2:04pm>>>
current music: Black Sabbath, Black Sabbath; Paranoid; The Who, 30 Years Of Maximum R&B
Paging Dr. Darwin
i really think the human race is regressing. it scares me that so many people are content to just sit around decomposing. physically, stuffing themselves with preservatives, sodium, fructose, glucose, artificial colors. mentally, not reading books (i'm not going to count harry fucking potter here), not being inspired, not absorbing.
i'm talking about being aware, understanding cultures other than your own, apprehending languages, religions/faiths/philosphies (just because you're not Muslim, for example, does that mean you shouldn't understand it?); studying history and learning from it.
i've always thought it important to acquire as much knowledge as possible, any way one could. to me, that is survival. preparation, comprehension, action.
the attitude of the average american infuriates me. most wouldn't know Saladin from salad-- oh wait, he wasn't on that boat in 1620, was he, so it's not relevant, is it?
americans have it cushy now, even in the midst of a "recession". we're apparently convinced that this will last forever and while we're at the top of the food chain, why not consume as much as possible, spend more money to buy more "things"? and when the vacuity begins to catch up with us, we'll medicate ourselves with alcohol, opiates, and various prescriptive mood-stabilizers.
we're not watching anymore. we dropped the ball and the collective sentiment is that nobody cares, so how long before some mega-predator-- a virus, a war, a superpower from another solar-system (it could happen, okay?)-- comes along and BAM!!
<<<7:19pm>>>
Who the hell is Zia McCabe??
This is bullshit. I should be Shirley Manson.
<<<25 august 2001 8:30pm>>>
are you part of the infamous subculture of Maddy (Madonna) remixes? even if you aren't, it's worth checking out the Guido & Yianni Scandalous Vocal Mix of Secret available to download at Madonnamix (under "unreleased"). Madonnamix is also the official home of the DJ Flange mixes that have been flying around the file-sharing services since the release of Music.
also check out Flange's Don't Wake The Bitch Mix of Bedtime Story (under "flange remixes"). better than any other mix of Bedtime Story that I've heard.
<<<11:31pm>>>
i just spent the last hour listening to the Creamfields festival on Radio 1, until i was forced to turn it off when it got too trancey for me *sigh*
back in the early nineties, i was a big fan of the L7 album Bricks Are Heavy (a good dose of what every sixteen-year-old, hormonal, budding grrl needs, no?). you can find their official site here. not the most visually stunning of sites, but that just wouldn't be L7's style, now would it?
<<<22 august 2001 5:36pm>>>
current music: Massive Attack: Blue Lines, Mezzanine
"i wanted to sleep with rock stars, and i did it. so gloria steinem can just go jump in a lake." --pamela des barres
panic!! where have i been???
for most of this month i dropped out.
DROP-OUT - detach yourself from the external social drama which is as dehydrated and ersatz as TV.
TURN-ON - find a sacrament which returns you to the Temple of God, your own body. Go out of your mind. Get high.
TUNE-IN - be reborn. Drop-back-in to express it. Start a new sequence of behavior that reflects your vision.
But the sequence must continue. You cannot stand still.
Death. Life. Structure.
--timothy leary, start your own religion (1967) no, i didn't ingest any LSD or psychotropic substances during my drop-out. i turned on, but did not tune in. i spent a lot of time alone--maybe detached is a better way to describe it; for example, listening to CD's on my Walkman and attempting to isolate each single instrument and note, then trying to hear them all separately and at once. after I did this for a long enough period it began to feel like the music was constructed of living nerves, tendons, blood, muscle, and I could feel it pulsating and reverberating within my own body. that was my sacrament.
being a much better guitarist than a website builder, i spent long hours just messing around on my guitar.
i have to come to terms with some things. i'm terrified of being twenty-five, for instance. yes, that sounds really stupid.
i have to accept the fact that i am loved, even if i don't understand why or what i have done to deserve the love. i must learn to accept intimacy, and not run from it or push it away. i have to trust people. i must learn to recognize when people are offering me help, empathy, compassion.
i used to compare myself to a shark. a shark must swim to simply exist. if a shark stops swimming, it will die, for it lacks the pump mechanism that continually passes water through its gills, unlike other fish. the shark must keep moving forever, fighting currents.
i thought that if i stopped fighting, i would die. the current was there, and i swam against it. i never learned to relax. i never stand still. my idea of a holiday is being on the road.
is the current gone? my drop-out was not so much a conscious decision as a natural reaction to a profound shock-- the realization that i might actually live to be thirty, forty, fifty, a hundred, and that i don't hafta do anything that i don't want to do, and i don't have to be anything to please anyone.
<<<2 august 2001 2:22pm>>>
some people are so cheap!! I stopped into the CVS drugstore (or chemist, to my lovely British readers) today to get some deodorant and a bottle of nail polish remover. at the checkout i stood in line behind a woman with a tube of toothpaste. the woman's toothpaste had a coupon on the box for $1.00 off, and she also had another coupon from somewhere else, for the same toothpaste, for $1.00 off. she was infuriated when the cashier informed her that she could only use one coupon or another, not both, because the computer would not allow both coupons to be processed. in other words, she wasn't getting the toothpaste for 39 cents.
the woman snaps, "well in that case, i don't want it!", slams the toothpaste down on the counter, and huffs out.
get. a. life. lady.
<<<1 august 2001 6:22pm>>>
current music: Shonen Knife, Let's Knife
i wish Shonen Knife would do more stuff in Japanese. nothing is more fun than singing along at the top of you lungs and not having a clue what you're singing.
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