<<<10:43pm>>>

Stop Imperialism Against Madonna*

*(hilarious bit of graffiti seen recently on the side of a building in downtown Portland.)

and speaking of the big M, i won't be purchasing Greatest Hits Volume 2. it doesn't include any new tracks as previously promised-- or any remixes, which were subsequently hinted at when the "new tracks" gimmick fell through. in that sense, GHV2 doesn't even live up to The Immaculate Collection (the first greatest hits compilation)-- which had both new tracks and remixes-- and therefore would be a waste of my money and time, since i already have all the listed tracks on other albums anyway.

<<<29 october 2001 9:24pm>>>

current music::: U2, The Joshua Tree; Under a Blood Red Sky

today after coming home from work, i decided to take a walk all the way up Stevens Ave. to Evergreen Cemetery, a large, quiet burial ground with a long history and where many prominent Portlanders rest their bones.

after spending the remainder of the chilly autumn afternoon poking around the monuments and hiking the extensive landscape, i was too tired to walk all the way home, and it was beginning to get dark. so i decided to pay a dollar and catch the bus that ran past my apartment.

a few moments after i had taken my seat, a homeless woman got on and took the seat next to me.

for some reason, i've always gotten on especially well with homeless people. (maybe it's because i can see my own future so clearly...there i am thirty years from now, pushing a shopping cart full of ragged possessions aimlessly, muttering to Allah.) when i lived in Boston i had several homeless friends, who, despite their mental or physical incapacities, were just as good friends to me as any of those who had a guaranteed roof over their heads every night.

i noticed the woman had swathed herself in what appeared to be an old pink electric blanket. she had cut a hole in the middle of it to stick her head through, creating a makeshift poncho of sorts. it seemed to me like an ingenious use for an old blanket, whether you're homeless or not, so finally i said to her, softly, "that looks comfortable."

"what?" she replied. she looked somewhat frightened.

"i said, i like that." i motioned to her blanket-poncho. "that's a good idea."

she looked down at the blanket. "it keeps me warm," she said and smiled.

then it was my stop, so i didn't have another chance to speak to her, except to wish her a good day.

and that was my afternoon.

<<<26 0ctober 2001 10:47pm>>>

current music::: Garbage, Garbage; Melanie C, Northern Star

the 2001 Radio Music Awards, october 26, hosted by Christina Aguilera.

for those who didn't catch the Grammys, the American Music Awards, the Billboard Awards, the MTV Video Music Awards, the Blockbuster Entertainment Awards, the People's Choice Awards, the Soul Train Music Awards, the World Music Awards, or the Brit Awards.

<<<25 october 2001 1:13pm>>>

"Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system, institute complete automation and destroy the male sex."

the excerpt above is from Valerie Solanas' SCUM Manifesto, and is one of my favorite quotes, even though i'm no militant feminist (if you could describe Ms. Solanas as even that...i'm much more inclined to categorize her in the "feminazi" department, or the "damn plain mad as a march hare" department.)

still, i felt valerie's quote was wholly appropriate to describe what i've been feeling today. life, in the wake of you-know-what and all of it's subsequent trappings, seems to have become very dull. blah. redundant. "an utter bore". i don't mean life in the sense of vitality, regeneration and survival, but daily life: consumer life, media life, the small things that are in truth frivolous compared to, well, you-know-what, but are terribly important to the instrumentality of modern society. it's almost as if everything to come along since september 11 2001 is completely anti-climactic, utterly useless on a grand scale, and therefore you should be ashamed for even considering it the slightest bit interesting.

last night, i decided to settle in for some telly, and watch 20/20. freaking 20/20, with Baba Wawa (ok, Barbara Walters), the most respected television program in america, whose filtered lenses made Courtney Love look like the Angel of the Morning as she lost her shit for Barbara and cried like a baby-- how can you go wrong?

well, it seems the media has decided that we're not allowed to move on. the entire program last night was again dedicated to the neverending dissertation of you-know-what, namely, the same weepy "human interest" story of yet another hijacked passenger, as told by his/her mother/sister/wife/fiancee. (when it becomes the same scene over and over but with interchangeable characters, you know it's gotten bad.)

dammit, i liked the world better when 20/20 was all about shocking meat-packing factory exposes and the all-important sniffling celebrity and John Stossel's consumer scams. dammit, i want my meat-packing factory exposes!

that said, within the past month i've visited more than one formerly dynamic website that seems to have died along with the WTC, usually prefaced with a drawn-out explanation along the lines of:

"since the attacks of sept. 11, i've come to the realization that life is (precious/too short) and my (website/weblog/journal/rants/whatever) seem really (stupid/meaningless/insignificant/unimportant) compared to the things that really matter, so i will no longer be updating it. God bless america."

it's my belief that we're all going to take a hit from this in one way or another. and who knows-- things might get worse. this may be the tip of the iceberg. absolutely abysmal times of a positively Dickensian quality may be ahead. but, at the moment, i'd rather delude myself into believing that i will live to tell the tale.

<<<8:33pm>>>

i've been to this mcdonald's quite a few times. except i thought it was on massachusetts ave., not in oakland, calif.

<<<24 october 2001 7:29pm>>>

current music::: Pulp, Different Class

Trouble Sleeping? Not Anymore!

i thought nothing on the face of this earth could cure my insomnia. boy, was i wrong!

<<<21 october 7:40pm>>>

i bought new clothes today. two sweaters and a pair of dark-gray wool hiphuggers. i was so pleased with myself-- i rarely buy new clothes anymore, and i got them all for such a steal, especially the pants. at home i kept asking BF if he wanted me to put on the new stuff and show him how i looked, but he was more interested in the telly and seemed baffled by my exuberance.

"i saw them in the store," he said, but i gave him a small fashion show anyway. he had little to say about the sweaters, but immediately gave me his undivided attention when i came out in the wool hiphuggers and a bra.

well, i think my new clothes rock, anyway.

<<<20 october 2001 12:44am>>>

From Hell Rocked

and i have to admit, Johnny Depp was seriously hot in this film (it was the flawless, sexy London accent that did it).

plus i got a free glossy From Hell poster out of the deal, which i plan to hang on my closet door (i'm such a loser).

before the film they showed a preview for The Fellowship of the Ring-- the same one you can download pretty much anywhere, but of course we still almost wet our pants. on our way home we subsequently agreed that it would be worth driving down to Massachusetts to see it, since none of the cinemas around here seem to have surround sound or THX.

well, good night for now; i'm being sent straight to bed-- do not pass go, do not collect $200!

<<<19 october 2001 4:03pm>>>

current music::: Pink Floyd, Pulse; Garbage, beautifulgarbage

My $0.02

i'm not worried about anthrax. not in the least bit. perhaps i'm a little abnormal, but i can't be forced to be hysterical over this when i'm just not.

i guess it's partly because, on a certain level, i've always subscribed to the fundamental fact: when you're number's up, it's up. and i'm not a fatalist by any stretch of the imagination. but let's put it this way-- if someone wants to harm others badly enough, eventually they'll get around to it. you can't walk around with a gas mask on all day because every white dust you see *might* be anthrax in the same sense that you can't stop driving a car because some moron *might* t-bone you while running a red light, killing you instantly. or you can't keep putting off that trip to Europe because the plane *might* malfunction, or be struck by lightning, or hijacked by terrorists who were, btw, determined enough and smart enough to breach any security measures presented before them.

but on a more practical level, none of that even comes into play. let's look at a couple of factors:

it seems to me that anthrax has proven to be a very ineffectual biological weapon. of the people confirmed to be infected, only one has died. only one specimen was determined to be "professional grade". nor is anthrax contagious, as you would think a fierce biological weapon should be.
the source of the anthrax attacks is not bin laden or the taliban. it's plain to me that what we're dealing with here are homegrown crackpots, extreme right-wingers-- fundamentalist right-to-lifers, the aryan nation, etc. our very own version of the taliban, if you will. as i posted before, the nutbars have been let out, and boy, do they have some catching up to do!
come on, if osama bin laden really wanted to wipe out massive amounts of people with anthrax, do you think he'd be wasting his time (and anthrax) sending it in cryptic envelopes to Tom Brokaw and no-name senators?
and, regarding the rush on gas masks-- well, like i said before, unless you're willing to wear one 24/7, it's not going to do you much good.

it's good to be concerned, but let's keep things in perspective. smallpox, ebola? now that's scary. that's something that would catch us waiting for the proverbial dick, but you know what? until i see people dropping like flies from the water supply, or collapsing by the hundreds in the subway, it's not going to keep me up at night.

<<<18 0ctober 2001 11:59pm>>>

well, i've had a really interesting day, but i'm gonna have to post about it later tomorrow sometime. i'm going to lay down and sleep a little; i don't feel so great-- because i have anthrax!! AHHH!!-- just joking. yeah, i know.

seriously, i chalk up my recent spate of poor health to not eating right and not sleeping enough lately, and i've decided to make an effort to correct that in the coming weeks.

BF is working the overnight shift tonight, but i made him promise he wouldn't sleep *all* day tomorrow so that we can go to see From Hell ;)

<<<10:00pm>>>

Every Once In A While, It Pays To Be A Dork

i only got two questions wrong on the Horror Film I.Q. Quiz. take it yourself and see if you can beat that!

<<<9:41pm>>>

Take A Deep Breath...Now Exhale... (Rrriiipp!!)

i've decided i just have to get myself a Tiffany box.

<<<8:32pm>>>

well, here we are, almost at the end of 2001. and i think it's safe to say that so far, the twenty-first century has been a real drag.

that said, i was watching CNN ths morning, when an odd news blurb flashed at the bottom of the screen. apparently, someone in south florida has decided that they just haven't been getting enough attention, what with everything, and they've filed a lawsuit against osama bin laden, seeking damages of $1.3 million, for causing them to have high blood pressure and stomach ulcers.

that's great, you know? i mean, what a brilliant idea. never mind that thousands of people so far have lost their lives, and thousands more have lost husbands, wives, lovers, friends, brothers, sisters, cousins...go ahead and take that bastard to the cleaners! after all, YOUR blood pressure is through the roof over all this. plus, i think that's just what our economy needs right now to whip it back into shape-- a good frivilous lawsuit or two tying up the system.

now, truth is stranger than fiction, and half the time you couldn't make this shit up if you tried, but i still went online to see if i could find out any more about this because i just couldn't believe what i had read. well, i searched all the major news sites including CNN's own site, and couldn't find any mention of that particular case (so hopefully it was a joke?!), but i did happen to come across this; a woman in New Jersey is suing bin laden and the taliban for $5 million.

yeah, the check's in the mail, babe. and will we be seeing you and bin laden on "The People's Court" anytime soon?

<<<2:07am>>>

Holy Lilypads, Batman!

for the past hour i've been absorbed in thought about...lilypads. for example, what if i were a frog, sitting on a lilypad? how long would i sit there?

what would it be like to be a lilypad? hmm.

<<<16 october 2001 12:11am>>>

why do people dress twins exactly alike? i find it disturbing. it always reminds me of that scene in The Shining-- "come play with us, Danny..."

<<<11 october 2001 8:16pm>>>

current music::: Widespread Panic, Everyday; Garbage, beautifulgarbage

I'm Dying

well, maybe not dying, but it certainly felt that way at one point; i have the flu.

feeling better, but not doing much. mostly sleeping.

<<<10 october 2001 12:02am>>>

"Changing Rooms" really drives me nuts. for example, they'll pull down a wall, find a beautiful Edwardian fireplace with exquisite hand-painted tiles, and blithely paint the whole thing solid black! (that was...painful to watch.)

or: "hey, here's a lovely old antique cabinet. let's sand off the finish and paint it terracotta!"

now, Ground Force, they rock. that chick never wears a bra.

<<<9 october 2001 12:13pm>>>

can't post now. sleeping!

<<<9:56pm>>>

C'mon, They Weren't *That* Bad!

i actually saw three of the films listed in Film Threat's 10 Worst Films Of The Summer. can you guess which three?

<<<8:38pm>>>

Things I have Learned About Our Upstairs Neighbor(s) (thanks to a not-so-soundproof apartment building):

1. they never sleep, ever.

2. they never leave the apartment.

3. they have one CD to their name.

4. the CD, whatever it is, is terrible.

5. they're hard of hearing.

<<<8 october 2001 8:17pm>>>

yay! Comedy Central will begin showing the new episodes of Absolutely Fabulous November 12.

<<<11:10pm>>>

there's a film coming out soon that i've really been looking forward to, called From Hell, about Jack The Ripper and based on the acclaimed graphic novel of the same name. i read with interest this fellow's detailed review-- he was fortunate enough to score an advance screening of the film last week.

<<<7 october 2001 10:23pm>>>

current music::: Siouxsie & The Banshees; Twice Upon A Time

for most of the day i felt crappy. whenever there's a major pressure front moving in, i feel it in my sinuses and i end up with a dull, lingering headache. then my mood became positively abysmal-- i made the mistake of switching on the news.

eventually, i felt well enough to get dressed (or whatever you consider a yellow Freshjive t-shirt i had slept in and some ratty khakis) and andy and i went out to see Hearts In Atlantis, which wasn't exactly the greatest movie (well, maybe it was compared to what else we had to choose from), but it was nice to get out and it held my attention for a hour or so. we came home and spent the rest of the evening watching telly while i lay with my head in BF's lap and he braided my hair into a dozen or so rasta-tentacles, so that i looked like medusa by the time i got up to use the bathroom.

<<<5 october 2001 1:21pm>>>

More Undeniable Evidence That I Am Simply Getting OLD, And Must Soon Begin Planning A Quiet, Dignified Exit In The Bathtub With Nembutal And Dom Perignon

it's been ten years(!?) since the release of Nirvana's Nevermind.

and Courtney Love is really starting to piss me off.

<<<2:14pm>>>

For Those Times When "Bad" Just Isn't Good Enough:

badmovies dot org

<<<11:37am>>>

i like to watch The View (yay Meredith Vieira!)on ABC. but i frequently only watch as far as the "Hot Topics" debate segment from the beginning and, unless it's someone that interests me, switch it off for the duration of the celebrity guest segment. as i did today, when they announced, "we'll be right back with Alec Baldwin," and the studio audience began to cheer wildly.

what is wrong with some people? why isn't the audience hissing and screaming, "wife beater!"?

i have a feeling that if i were the type of person to attend a live taping, i wouldn't be very welcome.

<<<4 october 2001 10:34am>>>

Paulina Stuckey does beautiful faery artwork inspired by the music of Bjork.

this one is my favorite :)

<<<3 october 2001 8:40pm>>>

:::current music::: Garbage, Version 2.0; You Look So Fine (import single)

WHERE IS WACKY BRIT?

there he is!

<<<4:59pm>>>

The Avalanches, "Frontier Psychiatrist".

<<<4:15pm>>>

My Theme Song

Groove Is In The Heart

Whether picking up white go-go boots at a second-hand store or rounding up the troops for dinner at the chicest sushi joint, you've got psychedelic diva written all over you. People like you make it cool to be groovy again, which is why "Groove is in the Heart" is your theme song. The bubblegum-meets-techno melody of your signature song gets you to jog that extra mile, or take on extra work with a jive-y cock of your head. Deee-Lite's dancehall fave never gets old playing in your head after each successful interview and promising date. Yes indeed, this is the soundtrack to those dee-lovely days and delicious nights when you've got an audience, and your phone number keeps coming up in conversation. But you'll only share your number with that special someone who can figure out "the depth of your hula groove," dig?

thanks to Matt for the link to Emode.

<<<12:44pm>>>

Incase You Haven't Noticed, Shirley Manson Is The Shit!

beautifulgarbage is released today!!

<<<2 october 2001 9:46am>>>

:::current music::: Dynamite Hack, Superfast; Weezer, Weezer (blue)

MSNBC (Mostly Shit No Body Cares About)

blame it on me for daring to venture into the uncharted realm that is "morning television".

then, consider the fact that a global crisis is obviously an excuse for every nutbar in the land to come crawling out from under their rocks.

there's been a debate over a "national ID card" for years, originally designed to control illegal immigration. but things have typically been in overdrive since "you-know-what", and now, it seems a number of otherwise rational fuckwits have decided that a national ID card, powered by biometric technology, is a stellar idea-- after all, if we'd had the national ID card before Sept. 11, those hijackers would have never even been on those planes!

this morning the "Today" show invited Rep. Justus of North Carolina and a spokesman for the ACLU (i didn't get his name) to discuss the for and against. of course the Republican representative is for it! i can see right through these people. it's hardly about national security for them.

any self-respecting Libertarian knows that there's more than a few ways to improve security without sacrificing personal freedom. it's my opinion, as in any case when dealing with Republicans, that there's a few hidden agendas that some right-wingers have pegged as perfectly suitable to spring on a traumatized nation (i gotta hand it to the GOP; their sense of timing has always been impeccable.) i speculate that these agendas may include, but are not limited to a) the apprehension of people considered to be "wanted", or rather, the rooting out of people who, for whatever reason, benign or not benign, don't want the government to know who they are or what they do, and b) the extra funds generated by the fees (hey, you don't think your "national ID card" will be issued for free, do you? and i can almost guarantee you that they won't be cheap, either).

i've got a proposal for Rep. Justus. instead of wasting his time (and my time) with shit like this, why doesn't he focus on funneling more state tax-dollars towards driver's education in North Carolina? i've never seen more goddamn maniacs with cracker-jack driving licenses than in North Carolina.

and then of course Matt Lauer, the biggest dipshit on network television next to Kelly Ripa, had to retort to the ACLU's concerns about becoming a Big Brotherish "police state" with a dumb statement like, "Don't you think you may be overreacting a bit?" (*sigh* sure, Matt. and your ancestors who protested having to wear a yellow star in the thirties were "overreacting" too.)

i'm not going to waste anymore space here illustrating all the reasons why a national ID card is a bad idea. you can find that anywhere on the web. suffice it to say that i'm against it. AVOID, AVOID, AVOID!

<<<1 october 2001 7:22pm>>>

:::current music::: Pink Floyd, The Delicate Sound Of Thunder

those Buddhists-- up to no good as usual! ;)