Sometimes I Truly Don't Know

As an avid fan, I know many odd facts about the fab five otherwise known as KoRn. Over the years I have analyzed these young men from their heads to their feet. Sometimes I find some interesting things...sometimes I'm so scared and disturbed that I don't sleep for nights at a time. They are my little experiments, if you will. I have made hypotheses, experimented (no, not THAT kind of experimentation...I WISH), and come out with some results. Although I still have many questions I don't think can ever be answered...

N Syncer?

This problem didn't arise until the crap that was boy bands began to filter through radio stations and MTV. When KoRn's "Got the Life" video gained heavy rotation on Totally Retarded Losers (TRL) I became suspicious. You see, on several occasions I mistook the honest, troubled Jonathan Davis for a certain "bad-ass" member of 'N Stink. Although they no longer look as much alike, I still wonder. There are times when the resemblance is so uncanny I couldn't tell them apart if they were placed next to each other...

Spin Blows the Big One

I hate Spin Magazine. As far as I am concerned, they are trendy buttfucking stuckup sons of whores. They made fun of KoRn...and then...whoops!...the five "wannabes" from Bako, Cali become the leaders of heavy metal near the conclusion of the most innovative millenium known to mankind. Quite an achievement in this fickle world. Spin may hate KoRn, but remember, KoRn Kids: this world has become one where BSB are on the cover of Rolling Stone, their pants down, discussing in the article among them which Backstreet Bad Ass wacks off the most.

Impartial, Aren't We?

Ever wonder why KoRn is always staring at women? Here's a clue: they either very heterosexual or very homophobic. Fieldy has admitted to saying that he has "five wives". Now, if you were a guy (as you may very well be), wouldn't you be very afraid while puddled into a little tour bus for months at a time with four other sexually starved guys? Personally, since I am a girl, I would just relieve that tension with another female...why the hell not....but MUST they stare at that girl that way? All...my...friends drive a Lowrider...and a Lowrider...gets a little LOWER