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Matt ... My heart is torn, and my life is broken. Why would they do this to you? You were no angel, I am sure of that. We all fall short ... and yet still, our Creator loves us. But WHY? I can't stop crying. Why did they kill you? Why did they kill me. They killed my heart when they tied you to that fence. They beat my soul as they beat your body. And yet I still cannot keep asking WHY??????? It is something I will ask everyday for the rest of my life.

I want to scream. I want to shout. I feel so much hate for the beasts who took your life ... who made a mockery of your love and faith. You were one of my best friends ... so beautiful, inside and out. What would you have accomplished in this world? What would you have become?

Human Rights ... what a concept. Does it exist? Would you have been able to change the world? What you had hoped to accomplish in your life ... turned out to be what you've accomplished in your death. But was it worth it? Was it worth it ... If only I had the answer to that.

They took your life. And with it, they took my heart. I am broken. My heart goes with you ... you are forever cherished and forever remembered, my friend ... sleep well.


"Matt's Song"
In Memory of Matthew Shepard
December 1, 1976 - October 12, 1998 (12:53 am)



Matthew, can you hear me?
My thoughts are all with you.
Your story shocked the nation
with what fear and hatred do.
The blind misunderstanding
of the love within your heart
that some would cast aside as lust,
perversion on your part.

Matthew, I am hoping
and praying for your sake
that all the pain you suffered
will make the world awake.
That difference of opinion
should never come to this
and anyone with reason
will live and let us live.

Matthew, you are showing
them all for what they are.
False prophets who pretend to preach
then justify the war.
They take no time to know us
and they don't seem to see
we're everywhere around them
in every family.

Matthew, though you're gone now,
you live within our hearts.
You taught the world to listen
now we must do our part.
We must fight and win the battle
in your name, we'll walk the miles
until people loving people
won't be laughed at, or reviled.




Since The Beginning Of Time



It's hard to be young and gay in the world today. There are so many pressures young adults have to deal with anyway, and being part of a minority that society seems to label as innately immoral doesn't help. But ladies and gentlemen, we need to stop and put things in perspective: It could be worse. We have a long way to go before we can live our lives out of the shadows of homophobia and bigotry. But we have certainly come a long way so far. After all, at least being gay isn't a capital crime ... Anymore ...

The western world smiles at the history of the Byzantine Empire. Textbooks are filled with glorious pictures of the Hagia Sophia and early Christian art. We all have to read about the great empire that was Rome's successor. The Byzantines, it seems, made advances in every field-except for human rights.

Homosexuality has always existed. Even before recorded history, we can assume that there were people who were strongly attracted to people of their same sex. Its natural, or so most of us say. That argument is irrelevant. But in nearly every period of history and in most western cultures, homosexuality has been an immoral practice. Are we immoral for being what we are?

According to the Byzantines, yes. The Middle Ages, when Byzantium flourished, were God-fearing times. As was the custom, people automatically blamed their misfortunes on God. When bad things happened people were just being punished for their sins. For example, when millions of people in Europe died of the Black Death, it was widely believed to be pestilence from God. In the doctrines of Christianity, homosexuality was a sin. So, when in the early 8th century, the Byzantine capitol of Constantinople was besieged, it was regarded as punishment from God.

Around 720 ad, Emperor Leo III led his city bravely against the onslaught of Arabs who fought to take it. With help from the neighboring Bulgars, and a lot of bad luck on the part of the Arabs, the Byzantines triumphed in the end.

Though the Arabs had gone, Leo III was restless. Feeling as though his Christian empire was being punished, Leo III forced all Byzantine Jews to be baptized as well as a number of other measures to regain God's favor. In 726 ad. he produced a body of law called the Ecloga, which included a direct assault on the 'immorality' of homosexuality.

It was already rough being gay in Byzantium. Before the enactment of the Ecloga, if a man was caught engaging in homosexual acts, he would be 'emasculated.' Apparently, it was not enough that he was 'going to hell,' because his actions might also bring the wrath of God on others.

But the release of the Ecloga made things worse. It was made very clear that homosexuality was not to be tolerated, period. If a man was caught, he would be executed by means of sword.

Now the question to ask is whether or not we can condemn the actions of Leo III. Each is entitled to his or her own opinion, however, I feel we cannot. Leo III saw his Ecloga as a humanization of Byzantine laws. He believed that what he was doing would help his empire to thrive and overcome adversity. By modern standards, we see execution for being gay as barbaric. But it is likely that even the homosexuals of the time viewed their actions as immoral and evil.

So a bigger question to ask is why homosexuality is regarded by so many as immoral. What is it about actions of love (and sometimes lust) that can hurt anyone but those involved? What is it about human beings that make us fear and hate things that are different from us?

The entire history of homosexuality has been, and still is, focused on the belief that it is immoral. I say that we have made tremendous progress since the Byzantine Empire. But do not take my word for it.

In general, I do believe we have made progress, and continue to do so. But stop for a moment and ask yourself this final question: Are the ideals of the Ecloga dead in the world today? I would offer simply this as an answer: Matthew Shepard.


On this day I wept for him

Tomorrow I will move on
I will remember Matt Shepard
I will continue his message

Know me for who I am
Not for what I am

Will you do the same?







Matt's Funeral Sermon





Aaron McKinney was found guilty of felony murder which meant the jury could give him the death penalty. That evening, Judy and Dennis Shepard (parents of victim, Matthew Shepard) were approached by McKinney's defense team, who pled for their client's life. The prosecution indicated they would defer to the family's wishes as to whether or not to pursue the death penalty. The following morning, Dennis Shepard made a statement to the court. Here is some of what he said:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"My son Matthew did not look like a winner. He was rather uncoordinated and wore braces from the age of thirteen until the day he died. However, in his all too brief life he proved that he was a winner. On October 6, 1998 my son tried to show the world that he could win again. On October 12, 1998 my first born son and my hero, lost. On October 12, 1998 my first born son and my hero, died, fifty days before his twenty-second birthday.

I keep wondering the same thing that I did when I first saw him in the hospital. What would he have become. How could he have changed his piece of the world to make it better?

Matt officially died in a hospital in Ft. Collins, Colorado. He actually died on the outskirts of Laramie, tied to a fence. You Mr. McKinney with your friend Mr. Henderson left him out there by himself, but he wasn't alone. There were his lifelong friends with him, friends that he had grown up with.

You're probably wondering who these friends were. First he had the beautiful night sky and the same stars and moon that we used to see through a telescope. Then he had the daylight and the sun to shine on him. And through it all he was breathing in the scent of pine trees from the snowy range. He heard the wind, the ever present Wyoming wind, for the last time. He had one more friend with him, he had God. And I feel better knowing he wasn't alone.

Matt's beating, hospitalization and funeral focused worldwide attention on hate. Good is coming out of evil. People have said enough is enough. I miss my son, but I am proud to be able to say that he is my son.

Judy has been quoted as being against the death penalty. It has been stated that Matt was against the death penalty. Both of these statements are wrong. Matt believed that there were crimes and incidents that justified the death penalty. I too believe in the death penalty. I would like nothing better than to see you die Mr. McKinney. However this is the time to begin the healing process. To show mercy to someone who refused to show any mercy.

Mr. McKinney, I am going to grant you life, as hard as it is for me to do so, because of Matthew. Every time you celebrate Christmas, a birthday, the Fourth of July remember that Matt isn't.
Every time you wake up in your prison cell remember that you had the opportunity and the ability to stop your actions that night. You robbed me of something very precious and I will never forgive you for that. Mr. McKinney I give you life in the memory of one who no longer lives. May you have a long life and may you thank Matthew every day for it."











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