Chapter Thirteen: Truce

*Hiiro had heard Serena’s smart comment and immediately been upset. How dare she, an insignificant little girl, mock him! He wanted to kill her, to make her suffer and feel pain. He wanted to force her to feel shame, the way she made him feel. But when he had refocused his seething eyes and looked at her, all of his ideas of maiming and torturing her had dripped from his mind.

She looked… amusing. Her long blonde hair was pulled into an unusual style, two pigtails with buns atop her head, her all-white outfit, her annoyed eyes, and her thin-pressed pink lips. She wasn’t frightened of him at the moment, like she usually looked around him. Instead, she looked positively irritated. And what happened next he could not control. It slipped. His frown faltered and his mouth parted to allow laughter to flow.

As he laughed, he could feel his shoulders begin to shake, his hands tremble, and his heartbeat speed up. Blood pumped through his veins, and he felt lighter than he had ever felt. Even the sensation of floating in space had never made him quite so dizzy and faint.

Finally when he regained control over himself, he tried to focus on Serena again. Looking toward the stool she had been perched upon, he noted she had gone missing. No… she had simply moved. Now she was leaning against the wall, looking deathly frightened of him. He now frowned. It looked as if her fear had returned.

“Serena?” He asked.

“I want you to leave, now.” She ordered, her red tongue licking her pink lips nervously.

“I won’t hurt you.” He mustered enough strength to mutter.

“I don’t believe you.” She inhaled sharply. He had really cracked, and now here they were, all alone.

“I won’t.”

“Really? And I suppose you were looking at me like I was a piece of meat for nothing?” She asked; narrowing her eyes and clawing at the wall behind her, wishing it would disappear so she could run.

“You make me angry.”

“Really? You could have fooled me with those eyes.” She muttered sarcastically.

“I won’t hurt you.” He repeated.

“I don’t believe you.” She echoed herself as well.

“Why not?”

“Let me think… oh yes, you held me against a wall, twice as a matter of fact- once you had me by the throat, and the second time by my shoulders. And both times you have refused to let go easily.”

“I have more control now.”

“Like I said, tell it to the jury, cause this judge is out to lunch. Leave me alone.” She pleaded.

“Do you really like my drawing?” He asked, changing tactics. Instantly he saw her shoulders lose their tense rigidity and her white knuckles become pink again.

“Yes.”

“Why did you paint me?”

“I don’t know.” She seemed to become colder when he mentioned the painting, so he decided to switch back to the drawing.

“I want to draw another one. Would you like it when I’m done with it?” He asked her.

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch.”

“There’s always a catch. What do you get out of it?”

“Nothing.”

“I thought you didn’t like my presence?” She asked, tentatively pushing herself away from the wall and turning her gaze back to her portrait of him.

“I don’t like anyone’s presence. But I can handle yours.”

“Really?” She asked, sarcasm dripping in her voice. Hiiro caught it and smirked briefly.

“Yes.”

“Fine. You draw another mobile suit, and I’ll keep it.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes.

“Fine.” He nodded. Then he turned on his heel and quickly took out a pad of drawing paper and a set of pencils. Choosing to sit by the door again, a good distance away from Serena, he began to sketch.

As he moved his hand gracefully across the white paper and left dark lead lines across it, his mind wandered. He had been Perfect. He had had Perfection. No emotions had made him Perfect. No remorse for killing, no conscience about what he was to do, no questioning orders or authority.

But hadn’t he felt remorse when he had destroyed the pacifist plane on accident? When he had given his life over to Silvia Noventa to do with what she deemed just? Why had he saved Relena if he had no conscience? Why couldn’t he just have let her die? And why had he questioned whether or not he was doing the right thing when he had been fighting on Earth? He had questioned his actions- there was no mistaking that.

He had thought he had attained Perfection and kept it throughout the wars… but he hadn’t. His fall from grace had occurred the moment he had taken his Gundam to Earth. He had felt emotions since then- even if they had only been brief and subtle. Not to mention wasn’t rage an emotion? The same rage that had encompassed him when he had tried to kill Duo? When he had choked Serena?

And then the laughter… he had laughed. Humor was an emotion. It seemed that since he had checked himself into this mental hospital he had felt more emotion than ever. Wasn’t he here to repress those emotions once more? But it was becoming easier and easier simply to let them go, to let them flood and not lock them away like he had been.

“Hiiro?” He looked up to see Serena was calling to him.

“Yes?”

“I asked you a question, but since you didn’t hear, I’ll repeat it. Would you mind if I painted your mobile suit?”

“The one I signed earlier?”

“No, the one you claimed to have piloted during the wars. Of course the one you gave me earlier!” He smirked.

“No.”

“I can’t?”

“No, I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

“You’re so funny.”

“I try.”

“You do?” She looked at him oddly. He felt strange.

“Not usually.”

“Hiiro, you really are mental.” She shook her head and turned away from him. Setting up a blank canvas, she was just about the begin transferring his drawing onto the white cloth when the door to the art room opened. Both she and Hiiro looked up.

“Serena! There you are! And… Hiiro?” Bertha looked shocked, to say the least, that the two were in the same room alone and that neither had attempted to kill the other as of yet.

“Big Berga, what do you want?” Seren snipped.

“Serena, it’s time for your meds. You were missing when we passed them out. You’re lucky I thought to look in here before we called the police.”

“Joy.” Serena muttered, rolling her eyes at the large, burly woman in front of her.

“Serena, it’s for your own good.”

“You keep telling me that. I fail to see an improvement as of yet.”

“Please Serena, just take the Valium?” Bertha asked the blonde girl patiently.

“Fine.” Seren conceded. Taking the tiny white cup Bertha held out to her, she tipped her head back and drowned the drugs. When she was finished, Bertha made her open her mouth to check and make sure she had swallowed the pills.

“Good.” The big nurse nodded. “Hiiro, I believe you have an appointment with Doctor Carl tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Good, just making sure you remembered. I’ll be back for checks in twenty minutes.” With that, she swiftly left the room.

The moment she did, Serena opened her mouth and stuck one of her fingers inside.

“You aren’t throwing up, are you?” Hiiro asked, suddenly very concerned. He watched as she shook her head slightly, then made a sour face and pulled her finger from her mouth. Then she spit out the two pills she had supposedly swallowed. “Weren’t you supposed to swallow those?”

“Going to tell?” She pressed him. “So what if I didn’t? I’m not crazy. I may be anorexic and bulimic, but I’m not mentally disturbed.”

“Valium is supposed to relax you.”

“You mean sedate me. I doubt this is even Valium. It’s probably a more potent sedative than they give most others.”

“They won’t change the rules for you.”

“They would. That damn shrink Carl would do anything to get me to talk to him.”

“Even drug you?”

“Yeah. That’s why I never take the pills.”

“I don’t say much, and I don’t have to take the drugs.”

“You checked yourself in, and technically, you aren’t insane. I swear they’ve got me on the loony list.”

“You were dragged in here.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m crazy.”

“Why are you here then? What made them bring you here?”

“None of your damn business.”

“It isn’t.” Silence befell the two, and Serena looked down at the pills in her hand.

“Hiiro. Ever failed at something?”

“At life.” He muttered.

“I failed to die.” She shifted her eyes to look at him. For the first time since he had held her against the wall in the hall after his shrink session their eyes met. Blue crashed upon blue, and his empty eyes met her void eyes. They matched each other in solemn fear, and the disheartening feeling of failure etched itself within their faces.

“Hiiro, Serena.” Bertha returned a great deal sooner than she had said she would. Their moment in agonizing realization was broken, and her appearance spoiled their serious and morose mood. Serena quickly shoved the pills into her skirt pocket and looked at the nurse.

“What is it this time Big Berga?”

“Doctor Carl has asked that you two be separated.”

“What?” Serena squawked at the same time Hiiro asked:

“Why?”

“Because you two seem to do nothing but fight. He worries that it might disrupt you.” Bertha sighed. She didn’t want to do this. In reality, she had heard Serena ask Hiiro if he had ever failed at anything. She had heard his response, and then Serena’s. She had heard it all- and seen the gazes that they had given each other.

In her eyes, these two who had so vehemently hated each other only days before had found a unique bond. In her eyes, the tiny strand of trust that she had seen develop between the two would be more therapeutic than any session with a psychiatrist would ever be. But it was not her place to decide that, so she had decided that she could at least break them up now before they had grown too close to each other.

“I’m sorry kids. Serena, come on, back to your room.” For a moment she thought there was going to be a long argument, but Serena simply pushed past Hiiro and walked out the art room door.

“Goodbye, Serena.” Hiiro whispered breathlessly as he watched Bertha follow her out. Damn… He wanted more, God, he wanted more. *

~~~ In case you missed the last notice, I am raising the rating on this to R. Please continue to read, don’t forget about me because I don’t automatically pop up when you get on FF.net!~~~