WARNING: LIME (not lemon, just lime)

Chapter Sixteen: I Want You

*Hiiro settled into his bed fully clothed. He was hoping Serena would come for him tonight. He wanted to tell her about the talk he had had with the doctor. He wanted to tell her about his anorexia, he wanted to tell her about his ‘clean bill of health’. He wanted to tell her all that, and…

He wanted to hear her voice. Simple as that. He loved her voice. It was always so low, but sweet, with a hint of childish hope that had long since dies within her heart. He needed to hear her advice, to listen to her words of wisdom tonight.

>>>)(<<<

As Serena threw her robe on over her clothes and lay down in her bed, she heard a crinkle. Reaching under her pillow she pulled out one of Hiiro’s many drawings. It was her favorite. Instead of it being of a mobile suit, it was of the courtyard they had escaped into the other night. Tonight she wanted to go back there with him. But she would have to wait until after first checks and, of course, until everyone was asleep.

“Nighttime meds!” Bertha poked her head in the door. Serena, lost in her world of dreams, failed to notice the big woman. “Serena?” Bertha tried again. No such luck. So she pushed her way in and snatched the paper from Serena’s hands.

“Give it back!” Seren cried indignantly. Bertha looked at it and noticed the signature.

“This is Hiiro’s.”

“He gave it to me.” Serena rolled her eyes. “Now give it back.”

“He gave it to you? Serena, when did you see him? Doctor Carl was perfectly clear that you were not to see Hiiro at all.”

“He didn’t give it to me in person. He gave it to someone else who gave it to me. Now please give it back.”

“I don’t think Doctor Carl would be very pleased if he heard about this.”

“I don’t care what that psycho-shrink thinks. That’s my drawing, now hand it over.”

“Serena, I’ll give you this drawing back on one condition. You tell me why you tried suicide.”

“No deal.” Serena yelled, her face red with embarrassment and fury.

“Well then.” Bertha began to pocket the drawing.

“No! You can’t take it from me, it’s mine!”

“I’m sorry Serena. But if you can’t tell me…”

“That’s blackmail!”

“I know. You’ll get it back when you can tell me. Now take your meds like a good girl.” Serena fumed for a moment longer, then she grabbed the paper cup with the Valium pills and down the hatch they went. She opened her mouth to prove she had swallowed them, and then, when Bertha nodded and made her way out, she sulked.

As the door closed behind Bertha, Serena quickly spat the meds out and hid them in her pillowcase. Then she lay down, her eyes wide open, waiting for checks to be over.

Near one o’clock, Serena managed to haul herself into the air ducts and make her way towards Hiiro’s room. The minute she saw his face looking up at her in the air ducts, she smiled. He had known. She opened the hatch and he hauled himself up. Briefly their eyes met, and they glued to each other, intensity rising ten fold. Breaking their fixation upon each other, Serena pulled her head away and began crawling towards the duct that would lead to the window.

Nearly twenty minutes later, the two found themselves in the clear. The moment they reached the roses, Serena stopped. Hiiro stopped beside her, then stood and watched as she began to pace. Finally, when her pacing was finished, Serena gave up and flung herself at Hiiro. His strong arms encircled her petite body and cradled her close, rocking her and comforting her.

“Serena, what’s wrong?”

“Bertha…” Serena breathed. She was close to tears. They blurred her vision and stung her eyes. “She took the drawing you made for me; the one of this garden.”

“I’ll make another.”

“She threatened that if I didn’t tell her why I tried suicide I would never see the drawing again.”

“I’ll make another.” Hiiro repeated.

“It’s the principal of the thing. Blackmail!”

“Serena…”

“I know.” She pulled away from his hold, and he growled at his stupidity. He shouldn’t have let her. He wanted her.

“What did the doctor ask you today?”

“Bull, like he always does.”

“You were angry.”

“He always asks the same goddamned questions. As if I’m going to answer them today when I haven’t in the last three months.”

“He told me I’m anorexic.”

“What?” Her head shot up.

“Said I starve myself of emotions.”

“And?”

“I told him I wanted to feel certain emotions. Attraction, happiness, love. Then he told me I was eating a lot, and that I have a clean bill of mental health. I can leave tomorrow.”

“Le, leave?”

“Go away.”

“I know what the word means, thank you. Are you leaving tomorrow?” She asked in concern.

“I need to get in touch with friends so they can pick me up.”

“But you’re leaving? You can’t leave!”

“I know.”

“But you’re leaving anyway?”

“If I don’t they’ll suspect something.”

“I don’t give a damn. Hiiro, I want you.”

“You, you want me? Want me to what?”

“I just…” The tears that had been threatening for so long finally began to slip down her cheeks. Hiiro reached up and brushed them away gently wit his thumb. He smiled lightly when he noticed his hand was nearly the size of her thin face.

“You just what?” He asked her, his eyes filled with concern. She shook her head and let him pull her into his arms again. When he wrapped around her, she felt protected and safe. No scenes of violent rape flashed through her mind like the other times she had been wrapped in a man’s arms. This time all she felt was warmth and pure attraction. She lifted her head and brought her hand up to trace his cheek. Slowly she ran her thin fingers down his strong jaw. Stroking it, she let her fingers ghost across his soft lips, ever so lightly.

Hiiro shivered deliciously under her touch. He could feel her trembling in his arms and knew he wasn’t the only one who was aching with every last inch of his soul. He wanted to open his mouth and beg her to touch him, to kiss him, to love him. He wanted her soul so badly that he felt he could steal it from her soft heart as wantonly as the other men who had used her before. But he could never destroy her the way they had. What he wanted so deeply she would have to give him.

“Serena…”

“Yes?” She asked, one last salty tear escaping from her dead sapphire eyes.

“I…I want to kiss you. May I kiss you?” When she gave a slight nod and withdrew her delicate fingers, he sighed. Leaning down, he captured her rouge stained lips and drank greedily from the honey she offered him. God… every inch of his skin felt like it was on fire. Once again she had sparked a passion that ran through him, coursing in his veins, making him so hot and wild that he shook with the control it took to withhold himself from ravishing her.

Serena let his lips crash down upon hers and moaned deeply. This was what she had wanted. Oh God, passion and desire so intense that she felt like nothing but lethargically and blissfully aroused. As he deepened the kiss she felt a sudden sense of urgency, and her hands slipped around his neck and knotted themselves in his hair. He tasted smoky and dark- the way sin might.

As their passionate kiss came to an end, both participants found themselves regretting the fact that they needed to pull away. Small, soft butterfly kisses ended the kiss, and they each breathed heavily, trying to catch their breaths.

“God Hiiro- you can’t leave me. I can’t live without you here.”

“Get out Serena. You need to tell the doctors something. Lie to them. Just tell them something. Then get out, and we can be together.”

“I know.” She whispered. “Hiiro. I love you.”

“I love you.”

“Hiiro, I want you. Please?”

“Serena, you have me.”

“No, I want you. Please?”

“Serena, I can’t take you… I would be no better than those men…”

“Hiiro! I want you to make me forget those men! I want to feel loved for a change. How do you think I feel, going to bed every night feeling used and dirty? I want to go to bed tonight feeling like I was loved for the first time. I want to feel new, clean. Please, take me.”

“Serena.” He groaned. His mouth crashed down on hers again. As they kissed, she began unbuttoning his shirt. Her tiny hands ran over his well-defined chest and stomach, then circled around his waist and rain up his back. As he deepened the kiss, her nails raked down into his skin, and he growled deeply.

Pushing her against the garden wall, his hands found their way underneath her t-shirt and began to explore her soft flesh. He was slightly disturbed when he found he could feel her vertebrae, ribs, and hipbones easily as they protruded… Still, when she began to unbutton his jeans, he had to break from kissing her.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.” She nodded, kissing his chest. Moving down, she kissed nearly to his bellybutton, then worked her way back up. Hiiro had to prop his hands against the wall with her in-between to keep from falling over in agony of pleasure. Bending his neck down, he began to kiss her jaw line, to lightly peck and nip at her neck, and then suck below her ear. He left a reddish circle in her milky white skin, and reminded himself he would have to be careful not to leave any traces of himself behind on her.

Serena pushed his pants down and ran her hands over the hem of his boxers. His skin was so smooth, and she could feel his tight muscles tense and relax as her fingers mapped his body. His broad shoulders and strong arms propped around her left him open to a variety of attacks from her assaulting lips. Serena nipped at his chest, nuzzled him and then look up, only to find his eyes were slitted open, desire running rampant through them.

Hiiro unclasped her bra and his hands began to explore the flesh that had been covered. When she moaned and arched up, he grunted and had the urge to smash her against him. He wanted to feel her skin touching his, to have her nails rake down his back in agony once again. Soon his fingers traveled south, and they had no trouble lifting her skirt and stroking her inner thy lightly.

“Oh, God, oh, God!”

She moaned softly, music to his ears. Then he managed to gather himself long enough to pick her up around her waist and lay her on the ground.

“I love you…” He murmured in her ear. *