Chapter Eight: Deep Discussions

*“James!” Hagrid yelled out good-naturedly. “Come on in lad! Lily and I were just about to have some tea. Care for some?”

“You and wh… Lily?” James asked incredulously. She had been the first thing on his mind, but the last person he had been expecting to see. Why, of all places, was Lily Evans here? Visiting Hagrid? Did she know him very well? Great. Now he couldn’t talk to Hagrid about his… well, he couldn’t talk to Hagrid. He didn’t know exactly what he had needed to get off his chest, but he had thought that once he had seen Hagrid, it would all just spill. And now…

“Hello James.” Lily said quietly. This was awkward; there was no doubt about that.

“Lily! Hi.” James said uncomfortably.

“Lily? James? Do you two know each other?” Hagrid asked. He already knew they had to, of course, since they were in the same year in the same house, but it was a good ice -breaker.

“Yeah, we do. Lily and I were helping to tutor Andrea White together.” James answered.

“Oh?” Hagrid raised his eyebrows in surprise. Lily and James? Together? Hmm. It strangely fit. They were opposites in every way on the outside. While Lily was cold and quiet, James was loud and vibrant. Lily had few friends, and James was friends with everyone.

However, when looking deeper, Hagrid knew that both of them had a great deal of personal issues that they hid from the public eye. He knew both of them were deep people who were searching for something, or someone that would complete them in some way. Hagrid smiled grimly. Maybe they had found what they were looking for without even realizing it.

“Hagrid?” James asked, waving his hand before the giant man’s face. He seemed to have drifted off in thought.

“Oh, sorry there James, Lily. James, pull up seat. Lily was just telling me her sister is getting married!” Hagrid grinned.

“Hagrid!” Lily blushed. She didn’t need James Potter digging around in her private life! Sure he seemed nicer than she had first thought, but even so… she didn’t think she could trust him yet.

“Your sister? I didn’t know you had a sister Lily.” James said thoughtfully.

“Well, I do. So mind your own business!” She snapped, trying to deter James. But the boy beside her merely grinned. He looked as if he were about to speak before Hagrid beat him to the punch.

“Lily!” Hagrid exclaimed. She blushed.

“Sorry.” She squeaked.

“No, that’s quite alright. Lady Lily reserves the right to keep things to her self.” James playfully answered. Lily blushed harder, but this time her temper was tweaked.

“It isn’t funny.” She breathed in and out, trying to control her temper.

“Oh? Lady Lily, please don’t take me so seriously. If you don’t want to share with me, I understand.” He grinned ridiculously. Lily’s breath was caught by the unbelievable sparkle that twinkled in James’ deep brown eyes for a moment. Her temper cooled instantly. Besides, he was only teasing. Well… two could play at this game.

“Do you then?” She countered. James’ jaw dropped slightly. Was that a smirk on her face? Was she… enjoying this? He had never thought he would see the day Lady Lily Evans smiled at him. It was backwards of everything he had ever known about her. But then again, he was learning that she herself was backwards of everything had ever thought of her.

“Of course.” He smiled, bowing slightly in his seat. Lily had the urge to laugh, but held it back.

“Well now. Lily, I don’t suppose I’ve ever seen you smirk like that.” Hagrid laughed heartily. Lily’s pale face matched her hair color, and James joined Hagrid.

“She’s forever surprising me too Hagrid.” He told him.

“Well. If you two are quite finished?” Lily snipped. The two men stopped.

“So then Lily. Will you tell me more about your sister?” James asked politely.

“No.” She replied sharply. James’ breath caught when he looked into her eyes and watched them cloud over. They were the color of dark jade. It seemed that whenever she didn’t want to speak to about something her eyes became that color. Talking about her sister must have been a touchy subject for her.

“Lily…” Hagrid began.

“Hagrid, you don’t have to agree with me, but I already know it’s true, so please stop denying it.”

“Hogs wallop Lily. None of that slander is true.” She sighed.

“Hagrid, can we please discuss this later, perhaps when we’re alone?”

“No. You’ll make me forget. I need to convince you one way or another. Lily Evans, you are not a freak.”

“But I am. Why do you keep denying it? Hagrid, haven’t you heard the rumors? People think I’m a vampire, or that I’m gothic, or that I’m evil. Face it, I’m a freak.”

“Lily, what’s this?” James asked. Lily turned her head.

“Nothing James. Just a notion Hagrid’s gotten into his mind.”

“A freak?” James asked.

“Well, of course. That’s what I am. Or haven’t you noticed?” She laughed dully.

“You’re not a freak Lily.” James told her quietly.

“You tell her James. I’ve been trying to tell her that for a good six years, but does she listen to me? No! It’s all that brainwash her sister puts into her mind when she goes home, that’s what. It’s pure poison Lily, you shouldn’t listen to it to begin with.”

“Hagrid! Petunia is my sister! She wouldn’t spout poison like that! She’s just trying to save me a lot of hurt. I mean, imagine if I hadn’t known I was a freak coming into Hogwarts. I would have been even more of an outcast that I am now. It’s just the way things are, that’s all.”

“Lily, your sister told you you were a freak?” James’ eyes filled with concern. He couldn’t imagine having a sister who hated him so much as to tell him that.

“Well, she was only telling the truth James.”

“But it’s not true.” James insisted. Lily looked up, and their eyes met. She felt herself getting lost in his deep chocolate eyes. They were so penetrating, as if he could see her soul.

James, too, was lost within pools of shimmering dark jade framed by the black of her makeup. Lily’s eyes were so beautiful, so captivating and unusual. He found himself being hypnotized by their startling color contrast and depth.

“Why don’t you think it’s true?” Lily breathed.

“Because it isn’t.”

“Look at me James. It is.” James tore his eyes from hers, only to look her up and down.

“Ok. I’ve looked. The only thing that is different about you is the way you dress and do your makeup. All the other girls don’t use so much black. But Lily, you are not a freak.”

“What will it take to convince you two that I am?”

“Nothing! You’ve only made us see that you aren’t even more.” Hagrid grunted.

“Well then. I think I can find better things to do than sit here and be told opposite of what I believe. Thank you for the tea and good day.” Lily said quickly as she stood, gathered her scarf, and ran out the door.

“Now Hagrid, what’s this about her being a freak?”

“Oh James, it’s worse than you could imagine. Lily’s sister has been spewing poison into her head since she was two years old; telling her she was a freak. Lily’s begun to believe it over all those years. So now I’m trying to counter what her sister’s told her, but it just don’t seem to be working.” Hagrid sighed.

“The same sister who’s getting married has been telling her this?”

“Yeah. She only has one- Petunia. But that one is as wicked as she comes. I’ve heard stories from Lily that gave me the chills. And get this: Lily’s worried about the wench. She came here to day because she was worried about her sister marrying the wrong man. Ain’t that something? The girl’s been teased to no end by her sister and she still cares that much about her.”

“It’s twisted.”

“That’s what it is!” Hagrid agreed.

“So then she really believes she’s a freak?”

“Yeah. That’s why she started dressing like that I the first place- because that was how Petunia told her freaks dressed. Ever since then I guess Lily’s been the same. You know she’s really very sweet. But I can’t seem to break her shell. She just don’t want to trust anyone, that’s what.”

“I want her to trust me Hagrid.” James said suddenly. “I really want her to trust me.”

“Why’s that James?”

“I don’t know. I can’t explain it. It’s just that I want to be there for her… does that sound crazy?”

“No.”

“Well then, how do I earn her trust?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you just need to be around for her. Whether she tells you or not, she’s torn up inside because of her sister and this wedding. I think there was something else bothering her too, but you came before she said much else. Maybe you could find out what it was and give her advice. When she starts confiding in you, you know she trusts you.”

“Right, I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks Hagrid. I guess I’ll be going now. I’ll see you later then.”

“Bye James!” Hagrid bid him a farewell.

When James got back to the common room, he found it was empty once again. It was so quiet. Too quiet… it was time for another prank! Things needed to be stirred up a bit. And maybe it would help to get his mind off of Lily Evans as well.

“James?” He spun around.

“Lily?”

“Yeah. I wanted to apologize for my rudeness. I was pretty rough with you back there.”

“No, not really. Lily, I don’t understand how you can possibly think you’re a freak. You’re so nice once people get to know you. There’s no way… I just can’t see it.”

“Well, I didn’t see it at first anyway. But I realized it just before I turned ten, and ever since then… I’ve just always known.”

“Since before you were ten? What made you so sure?”

“James, I don’t really feel like talking about this.” She shifted uncomfortably.

“But if you don’t it will only eat away at your heart and soul for a longer time. Come on Lily, I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t…”

“Lily, trust me.” She looked up and once again their eyes caught. So lost neither realized it when they moved in closer.

“I don’t trust anyone James.” She whispered sadly.

“Why not try trusting me? Like for a trial week?”

“And what after that? No James, it doesn’t work like that. I can’t just trust you, you have to earn my trust.”

“How can I do that Lily? What would you have me do?” James implored her. Lily blushed at his voice. It nearly sounded like James Potter was begging… begging her, of all people, to give him her trust. But she just couldn’t…

“Nothing. There is no way.”

“There has to be some way Lily. Nothing is impossible after all.” He gave a silly lop-sided grin.

“But it’s certainly improbable. A freak like me can’t depend on anyone James, it always backfires one way or another.”

“Lily, I’m going to stop you from thinking you’re a freak. That is the biggest bunch of bull I’ve ever heard.”

“James, I’m never going to stop thinking I’m a freak.”

“I can help. I promise I’m going to show you otherwise.” James told her.

“How?”

“I’ll stick by you, show you that you’re no weirder than anyone else around here.”

“I somehow doubt that.” She murmured.

“It’s true! Besides. I heard Arabella Figg saying she wanted to meet you. Really meet you, not just listen to those stupid rumors the Slytherins made.”

“Arabella Figg? She’s the most popular Gryffindor girl in the sixth year.” Lily gasped.

“Well? See? You’re more normal than you think.”

“I’m anything but normal.”

“Very well, you’re not normal. But you’re not a freak.” He smiled goofily.

“Well.” But she had nothing more to say.

“Now then, Lady Lily, I need to come up with a good prank to pull. It’s been too quiet around here since the frogs.”

“What will you do?” Lily asked with quiet interest.

“Not sure yet. But I’ll let you know before we do it.”

“No!” She smiled sheepishly. “Don’t. I like being surprised and laughing.”

“But you don’t laugh.”

“Well, not out loud. But I always think your pranks are funny. I hope you pick a good one.”

“For you Lady Lily, I will do a good one.”

“Well then, good. Good night James.”

“Night Lady Lily.” And they parted ways. *