Chapter Eight: No One Should Feel Responsible

*The moment he opened the door, a horde of children looked towards it to see who might be intruding upon their humble home. A chorus of “Hiiro!” fell upon the two figures, and a stampede began. They stopped mid run when they realized Hiiro had a friend with him. Suddenly shying away, they backed off until an old man and woman walked into the room.

“Hiiro Yui! I’ve given you permission to spend the night here a few times, not bring your trashy customers here! You leave this instant!” The woman began to scold. Hiiro ignored her. Maren had always been a touchy, grouchy, old woman. He didn’t see…

“Hiiro my boy. Back again so soon?”

“Dr. J.” Hiiro acknowledged the old man. It was the least he could do- after all; the old man raised him, even if it had been as an assassin.

“Yes, well. Now that you’ve said hello to J, leave Yui.” Maren continued.

“Hnn.” Was the response he gave her. Then he turned and pulled on Serena’s arm. Pulling her into the light, he noticed she was reluctant to look him in the eye. Figured. Maren always had a way of degrading people.

“J. This is Serena. She’s not a customer, she’s here to help me distribute the goods.”

“You need help giving a few kids some toys Hiiro? I should think that it would be an easy enough mission for you to complete on your own. Otherwise I would have called the other pilots into action. And be more polite to my wife Hiiro.” Dr. J smirked. Hiiro scowled, but nodded in confirmation.

“That boy of yours will never be polite to me J. He doesn’t know how to be polite. He’s a goddamned whore for crying out loud!” Maren loudly whispered so only the adults would hear her.

“Hnn.” Hiiro grunted. He could care less what she said. Most of it was true, so why stop someone from speaking the truth?

“And as for your little hussy over there, you can just drag her back to the street corner where she came from. We don’t serve her type here.”

“Hnn.” But this time Maren was pushing it.

“Now then Maren. Hiiro explained before she’s not a customer. Leave the girl alone. Hiiro, distribute the goods.”

“Roger that.” Hiiro stated without thinking. Training and mind drilled responses flowed naturally as he began to make his way towards the children, who had all gathered behind a table to watch them argue.

“Hiiro?” Serena asked quietly. She was quite confused as to what exactly had just happened. She understood that the man Hiiro referred to as Dr. J had some personal connection to Hiiro. And if this Maren was J’s wife, and she didn’t like Hiiro… but Hiiro just stood and took it in stride. He continued to surprise her. She had thought perhaps he might have a temper over the older woman’s cutting remarks, yet he didn’t seem to care one way or another. Still she was confused on what Hiiro had brought her here for. Only to distribute the toys? Was that all, or was there something more that she couldn’t see?

“We are to distribute the goods.” Hiiro said monotonously. He had slipped into soldier mode and didn’t quite remember why he had brought Serena with him.

“I heard. But you don’t seem to need my help. Maybe I should just leave…” She began to retreat. Hiiro snapped out if his hypnosis and grabbed Serena’s wrist.

“No. Help me.” His voice was low and cold. Shivers ran up her spine. He scared her. But then, he truly meant he needed her help. His eyes were glazed over and seemed so empty. He needed more than just help now. He needed help always. He needed someone to lean on, to trust. Could she possibly help him in that way? Was she strong enough to help someone as unstable as Hiiro Yui? Cin? She couldn’t even help her own mother. Yet Hiiro had asked her, pleaded for her help. Could she do it? She would give it her best shot.

“Alright.” She stopped fighting his pull in her wrist and allowed herself to be dragged towards the children.

“Hiiro? Who’s the lady?” One of the little girls asked. Serena smiled when she saw Hiiro relax and smile as well. A smile fit him.

“This is my friend, Serena. She’s going to help me today.”

“Hi Serena!” A bunch of little voices spoke in unison.

“Hello.” She answered back. Hiiro turned and handed her a few toys.

“Their names are labeled on the tags. Pass them out and see to it that they are satisfactory.” He instructed her.

“Aye, Aye Sir Yui, Roger that mission control!” Serena gave a salute at Hiiro, then winked and giggled. A bunch of the kids who heard her laughed. “Now then. Corrine!” She began reading off the names. Hiiro had given her the younger children’s things while he himself distributed the older children’s new ‘toys’. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Serena with her bright smile and cheerful laugh making fast friends with the little boys and girls. She was beautiful in her blissful unawareness of the true ways of the world, yet she was not an innocent stranger to problems and pain. He could see how even the mirth in her heart could not shine through the sad gleam in her eyes that had captivated his own. And as much as he hated the thought that she was secretly depressed, he knew he could never be the one to help break her depression, because he himself didn’t know how to break through his own.

“So Hiiro. Tell us about your ‘friend’.” Hiiro looked up to find the three sixteen year old guys standing around him. They were each smiling in a secretive way.

“Yeah Hiiro. How long have you been banging her?” Another one said.

“I haven’t been sleeping with her. She’s a friend.” Hiiro answered calmly.

“Really? She’s not just some slut off the street?” The third one asked.

“No. Once more and you won’t wake up in the morning.” Hiiro threatened. Maren could get away with it. The boys could not.

“She’s seriously hot though. Where’d you find her?”

“Not important.”

“Alright, well, what is she to you? Girlfriend? She’s obviously not a lover, otherwise you wouldn’t be so tense. She looks like she’d bee good in bed though… strong arms and legs make for good love making.” One of the boys joked. The other two laughed.

“Enough.” Hiiro threatened, flashing his gun. The boys stopped, but they could all see Hiiro’s flushing face as well.

“Well then. She’s just your girlfriend?”

“No. We’ve dated very little.” Hiiro managed to choke out.

“Really? You don’t like her then? Then how come you brought her?” Hiiro looked at hard at the three boys. All three had reddish colored hair. They had dyed it that color a few months back. They could almost pass for brothers. Tom, David, and Jim. All three were inseparable troublemakers, but all three had earned his respect. They knew of his past, and still teased him. They were like young Duos, only more hyperactive and less experienced. He trusted them enough to tell them.

“I like her. A lot. I’ve only known her for a week.” His face grew warmer with each word out of his mouth.

“Where’d you meet her, seriously?”

“Her mother was a customer.”

“What?” All three spat. That was not what they had been thinking.

“Her mother was drunk and came to me. I brought her home, and Serena put her foot down and kicked me out. I left willingly, though, after I found out she had three little siblings in the house with her. But I made her pay me a hundred bucks for a my trouble. She didn’t have the money at the time, so when she made the drop off, I asked her out.”

“Hiiro. Her mother?” David laughed. The other two looked more serious.

“You like her that much? You must, I mean, you never date. Never.” Tom said thoughtfully.

“Yeah.” He glanced at Serena again.

“Then why are you still so tense. She came today, and she’s still here. Must mean she likes you.”

“Hnn.”

“Hiiro. You’ve had your fun here, that’s enough. Don’t be giving these boys any ideas now. Spoiling them and such. Get lost.” Maren had come up to them sometime during their conversation.

“Hnn.”

“I mean it. Get your dirty, sinning ass out of my home, or else.”

“Hnn.” But Hiiro stood and began gathering his things. “Serena. We’re leaving.” She looked over him.

“Alright.” She said unsure. Why had Hiiro so abruptly announced they were leaving? It was not out of character, of course, but neither was it in character. She stood and gathered her coat. “It was nice to meet all of you.” She smiled warmly at the three boys whom she had seen Hiiro talking with.

“Goodbye Serena.” One of them stepped forward.

“Take care of Hiiro for us. Can’t have our benefactor getting sick or hurt or something worse, now could we?”

“No, of course not!” She smiled, laughing. Hiiro grabbed her hand and began tugging her away. As soon as they were outside, Hiiro turned to her.

“Thank you for coming.”

“Anytime. It was fun. Your makeshift family is really very sweet.” She smiled.

“So are you.” He whispered. Gently he bent over and softly placed a tiny kiss on her cheek. “Can you find your own way home from here? I unfortunately have a meeting to attend.”

“Of course, don’t worry about me.” He nodded and turned to walk away.

“Hiiro.” He turned back. “Don’t be a stranger. Come by and visit. I know my brother and sisters would love you. And the guys miss you.”

“What about you?” She blushed. He liked the look of it.

“I would miss you too of course.”

“Then I won’t be a stranger. Goodbye for now Serena.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and strolled away. Serena stood for a moment stunned, then did the same.

>>>)(<<<

“Hey Serena! Where’s Hiiro?” Quatre smiled at her as she stepped back into the warmth of the house.

“Hi Quatre. Hiiro had a meeting to get to. Sorry, I know how much you and the others were looking forward to catching up with each other.”

“That’s alright. We knew he probably wasn’t going to walk you back home knowing we were here.” Quatre sighed. He had truly hoped they would be able to sit and speak with Hiiro again. But then, he had known that what Serena had said the other night was true. Her words still echoed in his mind, and thought she had spoken them when she had been slightly mad, he wondered if there wasn’t some truth to them: “I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to try to track him. Apparently he’s very good at hiding, and if you couldn’t find him all these three years, maybe he doesn’t want to be found.”

Perhaps Serena was right. Maybe Hiiro Yui had hidden because he didn’t want to be found. But why? That was what plagued Quatre the most. Why would Hiiro feel the need to hide himself from the rest of the world? During the Eve Wars, Duo had once said something to Hiiro. Though he hadn’t meant for him to overhear it, Quatre had: “If you leave him alone too long, pretty soon he’ll begin blaming himself for everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day he claims his ‘lack of effort’ is the reason there’s no air in outer space.” After Quatre had heard that, he had really gone on an inner soul search. He had spent days after destroying his Gundam reflecting and thinking. Duo had been right. He had been blaming himself for everything that went wrong.

Perhaps that was what Hiiro was doing. No one should feel responsible for the war, yet Hiiro felt the need to make up for it by punishing himself. Well then. This was going to have to stop. Quatre’s only problem was he didn’t know how to convince Hiiro otherwise. Maybe something would come to him later.

“Guys!” Quatre called. “Serena’s home!”

“So how are my brother and sisters?” She smirked.

“Actually they were pretty mellow today.” Trowa spoke as he entered the foyer, joining the other two. “ After they woke up, we took a walk and played in the snow. And then hot chocolate. Lizbeth is taking her afternoon nap, and the other two are playing a video game in the family room.”

“Wow. Sound like you guys had a busy day. Thank you so much for watching them. So tell me. How much do I owe you this time? And if you say…”

“Twelve bucks Sere, twelve bucks.” Duo grinned as he and Wufei joined them.

“Guys…”

“Every time Sere. So why do you argue with us?” Duo laughed.

“Because one day I’m hoping to knock some sense into you.” She giggled as she handed over the money.

“So are we coming back anytime soon? To baby-sit while you, say, have another date with our Perfect Soldier?” Duo smirked, nudging Serena. She smiled and blushed.

“Suddenly you seem to blush an awful lot Sere. Could it have something to do with a certain guy?” Trowa taunted her lightly.

“Guys! Come on now!” She wailed gently.

“I think we’ve caught her!” Quatre smiled devilishly.

“No! Honestly! And besides. We didn’t set up another date, so it doesn’t matter. So there!” Her face was bright red, she could feel the heat radiating off of herself.

“No more dates? You were sucking face earlier with him. Are you that easily swayed Serena?” Wufei asked haughtily. Apparently he was still unhappy about walking in on her and Hiiro kissing…

“Wufei! We weren’t sucking face. And I admit, I was very easily swayed. But I don’t have a problem with that in this case.”

“Serena! What you two were doing was dishonorable. And Yui taking advantage of you in such a way.”

“I don’t have a problem with it. It’s not like he doesn’t do it everyday with other women!”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Duo cried out. Serena gasped and threw her hands up over her mouth. What had she said? What had she done? And, what, did it mean?

“Nothing! It means nothing! I’m sorry. My temper caught the better of me. I shouldn’t have spoken, I’m sorry…”

“No Sere. What’s said is said. So spill it.” Duo said darkly.

“Look, I said some things that…”

“That could mean a lot to us if you don’t tell us. Now then. What was that about Hiiro seducing women?” Trowa explained to her gently. Serena hung her head, ashamed to be giving away Hiiro’s secret.

“Hiiro works at night. He helps women with their… problems. He helps by helping them forget their problems.”

“And how does he do that?”

“He, he charges… he charges for sex.” She managed to whisper out.

“He what?” All four of the guys blew a fuse.

“Serena. You can’t be serious. Hiiro is a whore?” Quatre asked in disbelief. He had thought Hiiro had had problems. He had never thought they ran this deep though.

“He prefers male prostitute. But yes, that’s his current occupation.”

“Serena. You would date a whore?” Wufei sneered.

“Wufei! You’ve known him from the war! Would you honestly call him a whore? I wouldn’t. Hiiro is one of the nicest, kindest men I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. He saved my life when a few men at a bar tried to hassle me, he is the perfect gentleman, well, most of the time anyway, and he is for the most part incredibly caring about others. He isn’t just some…slut off the street!

“The fact remains that he sells himself for sex.”

“Look. Maybe you should hear the whole story before you judge him. I’ll tell you this. He’s living with a man by the name of Dr. J and his wife Maren in an…”

“Dr. J! You know Dr. J?”

“Hiiro took me to meet him today. When Hiiro can’t get a job, he sleeps with the orphanage that Dr. J and his wife run.”

“That old coot doctor is married?” Duo scratched his head in wonder.

“Yes. She’s not very nice though. But I’m sure Dr. J can tell you where to find Hiiro tonight.

“Very well. Guys, let’s go. We have some tracking to do.” Trowa spoke in the silence that had befallen the room.

“Serena! Serena!”

“Lizbeth must have had a bad dream. I had better get up there. Look guys. Thank you for baby-sitting. Just remember that when you find Hiiro, go easy on him. He does his job for a reason, and whether you understand it or not, it’s a decent one. Much better than those ideas you had of him being a killer. He isn’t one of them, plain and simple.” She nodded to herself, then turned and began climbing the stairs to help her crying little sister.

Each of the guys exchanged a slightly guilty and worried look. What would Serena do when she found out the truth?*

~~~JUST a check in. How’s this going so far? Everyone hanging in there? No one’s bored yet, are they? I’m struggling hard on this one… writer’s block is really taking it’s toll on me. But I promise I WILL NOT LEAVE IT UNFINISHED! -Vixen