Chapter Six: True Confessions

*Hiiro sighed. Now he felt guilty. However he had expected Relena to take this news, this wasn’t it. She was being too, low key. She wasn’t going into hysterics, she wasn’t raving about, throwing her hands up, or throwing things at him for that matter. And so, naturally, he felt even worse than he would have if she had.

Relena was a nice girl. She was hard working, intelligent, beautiful, thoughtful, and well, she cared for him. Everything a man could dream of. She put up with his whims, trusted him, didn’t patronize or criticize, no, she was the perfect woman.

But maybe that was what was wrong, Hiiro thought. Maybe that was the reason he just couldn’t care for her as she did for him: she was too much of a woman. He understood Relena and she understood him. With Relena, there was never any spark. Hiiro almost laughed at himself for thinking it, but it was true.

What he needed was a woman who challenged him more than on a simple level. He needed some one who made life interesting. Hell, being a Gundam Pilot had given him a need for dangerous and hostile situations. He craved them; they made him feel alive… but Relena? No. Everything came to easily. The road less traveled was the road he needed.

“Relena?” Hiiro ventured after they had sat in silence for over a minute. Of course, that one-minute seemed to have lasted an eternity. Funny how when serious conversations are spoken, time seems to almost stop so the two people can reflect.

“Yes Hiiro?”

“Say something?”
“What do you want me to say Hiiro?” Relena raised her hand to brush her bangs out of her eyes, and then rubbed her temple gently. “Hiiro. I suppose I knew from the moment you first spoke to me that you were a different sort of boy. It still makes me smile to think that an ambulance had to come and rescue the ambulance men you knocked out that day on the beach. I knew then that you special. And over time I guess I just couldn’t help but love the boy I knew. You were quiet, and stoic, and you needed guidance. I could have sat for hours on end and listened to you correcting my ignorant philosophies. Isn’t life funny?

“But now, now you’re different. When you first walked in here today I knew it. You’re at peace with yourself, relaxed, and you have a sense of humor. You’re not the same boy I loved. It hurts to think that you grew and changed on me Hiiro. You went and left me to grow up, and now that you’ve come back, we’ll have to start all over. I still love you, yes. But Hiiro, I don’t know you anymore.”

“Lena. I’m sorry.”

“Well, apology accepted, because you only did what you needed to to adapt for survival.” Hiiro smirked.

“Friends?”

“Friends Hiiro. Now then! Tell me what you’re going to do about my safety? I’d like to live to stay friends with you for a long time.” She laughed and gently brushed her eyes, which had begun watering slightly. Hiiro looked at her for a long moment, as if analyzing her. “Well?” She prompted him again.

“Well. I already mentioned I want to step up security at the entrance, and of course a security camera system will be installed, I’ll have to place new bodyguards that have been thoroughly examined by me, and find a strong helmet.”

“Helmet? You think a terrorist is going to try to hurt me while I’m ride a bike?” She looked at him dubiously.

“The helmet is for me. Working with that secretary of yours, I’ll need all the protection I can get.” He smirked as Relena began to laugh.

“She’s not that bad Hiiro!”

“Tell me that after I’m done bandaging all those bruises she’s already given me.”

“Well! I should hope she gave your ego a few! You’ve gotten cocky these last few months away.” Relena laughed. Hiiro stiffened.

“Never cocky. Can’t risk it.”

“So serious Hiiro.” She stopped laughing. “You are serious.”

“I don’t have time to be anything but that. There are still a few choice idiots out there who are holding a grudge against a certain pilot, and if they ever wanted to attack me, now would be the best time, because my guard is let down. It has been since the end of the Eve Wars.”

“But doesn’t it feel nice to get that off your chest Hiiro? To breathe?”

“In a way.”

“Besides. Is there anyone that’s really stupid enough to attack you? They wouldn’t live to see the morning.”

“Yes they would. I don’t kill anymore. At least, I try not to. If it comes down to it, to protect you, I will kill someone. But other than that, I won’t kill anymore. No more blood Relena. My hands are stained as it is.”

“I know Hiiro. I know.”

“Hnn.”

“You still grunt!” Relena laughed sadly. Some things would never change.

“It’s how I get around answering things I don’t want to.” Hiiro gave her a very thin smile. “. You’re the only person I don’t grunt around constantly.”

“I feel special.” Relena joked. A knock came at the door. “Come in!”

“Miss Relena?”

“Hello Serena. I thought you went home?” Relena asked her.

“No, I still have a lot of work to do. My, err, personal problems, can wait.”

“Serena, if you need-” Relena began. But Serena cleared her throat.

“Miss Relena, Dr. Sally Po is here to see you. She’s your next appointment, but she’s a half hour early. Would you like to see her now?”

“Sere! Sally’s here? Send her in!” Relena smiled widely. Serena smiled as well.

“That’s what I thought you might say, so I brought her with me.” Serena giggled slightly. Hiiro blinked. Was this the same woman that had been screaming at him earlier? God she was gorgeous when she smiled like that… really, her whole face lit up. Why, it practically glowed with an intense radiance he had never before witnessed. Her eyes sparkled and shimmered, and her smile… incredible… she was…

“Hiiro? Hiiro Yui?” A deep, husky voice intruded upon his thoughts.

“Sally.” He managed to grunt. He noticed Serena frown, and suddenly felt himself shrink. When she frowned at him he felt like he were the lowest piece of scum on the planet. How could such an angel be such an apocalyptic advocate? The irony of the situation grew ten fold.

“So Hiiro, how’ve you been?” Sally grinned. Serena shut the door as Sally walked in past her, and Hiiro immediately shifted his gaze to Sally, hoping her usually sensible character would help to calm his racing heart.

“Hnn.” But she noticed the Perfect Soldier’s eyes were not as empty as they had been. Perhaps he had matured more than she had thought he might.

“Regained your humanity yet Hiiro?” She asked, lightly smirking.

“No. Just my sense of humor.” He answered as stoically as possible. He knew when he was being patronized.

“Sally, Hiiro is my new chief of security slash bodyguard.” Relena beamed. “Now you know I’ll be safe.” She joked.

“Yes, you’ll be safe from terrorists. But the question is, will you be safe from him?”

“Sally.” Relena blushed. Hiiro bristled and straightened.

“Relena and I are friends. She is safe.” Hiiro spat gently.

“Friends?” Sally raised both her eyebrows. “Friends. Well. That’s good. Relena, I trust you know what you’re doing?” Hiiro looked from Sally to Relena and back. Something was going on between the two women, but he couldn’t decipher what. He was a soldier, not a psychoanalyst.

“Relena, I’m going to get started.” He stood. Anything to get out of this. Two women communicating through signals right in front of him? Warning signs went off in his brain, and they said ‘ Warning, dangerous situation! Escape as soon as possible!’

“Alright then Hiiro. Be careful around Sere.” Relena gave him a sad smile, then sent him on his way. As he closed the door behind him, Hiiro could hear Sally.

“Oh Lena… I’m so sorry…” And then the sobbing commenced. He had known it would happen. Relena, as strong as she was, was still a woman who had just had her heart broken. Well, at least she had waited till he was gone. And he hurried away form the door.

“Freeze!” He heard a shrill voice. Turing around, he saw a form he was becoming very familiar with.

“Serena.” He acknowledged her. They stood there for a moment in silence, him just standing, Serena looking at him with her hands on her hips.

“You broke her heart.” She stated softly. His eyes brows rose. He hadn’t expected this.

“I didn’t want to.” He tried to explain. But she held up her hand.

“You broke her heart. You worthless scumbag. You dirty, disgusting, poisoned slob! You broke her heart! Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a heart broken? Have you ever had your heart broken? Let me tell you something! It hurts! Physically! How dare you! She has waited so long for you. And you just ripped her apart. You’re sick. How could you not love a woman like her? She’s perfect.” Serena, though she had worked her way into a yell, finished in a low whisper with tears in the corner of her eyes. She couldn’t understand how this ‘Hiiro’ could not like Relena. Relena was her idol, her role model. Why wasn’t she good enough for this soldier?

Hiiro stood stunned. This woman actually cared what he did? This was so strange. One minute she hated him and wanted nothing to do with him, and now she still hated him, but it was because of what he had done. Why did she care?

“How could I not love Relena?” Hiiro echoed Serena’s last question. “How could I not love her? I don’t know.” He shrugged.

“Sick bastard. You’re one of those men who uses women, and as soon as you’ve had your fill, you toss them aside like garbage, aren’t you?” Serena seethed. How could he not know why he didn’t love some one?

“I do not use women. I never have and I never will.” Hiiro growled slightly. She was getting out of hand. “I just don’t love Relena. It isn’t a crime you know. You don’t love me, but you don’t see Relena out here yelling at you for it, do you?”

“It’s different.”

“I don’t see that it is.” Hiiro shrugged again. Serena looked at him for a moment, mouth open, jaw dropped. Then she recovered. Closing her mouth, she simply shook her head.

“Look. Here are the personnel files.” She shoved a large packet into Hiiro’s hands. “Do with them what you will, but I’ll need them back in a week in pristine condition.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” Serena simply turned around and stalked back to her desk. Hiiro looked at her for a moment longer, then turned around and walked out the door. And the interlude was over.

Through the chilly streets he trudged on, trying to get to his apartment before the blackened sky opened up and dumped the icicle like drops of water upon his head. Maybe it would hail tonight. Hiiro loved hail. It was tough rain- much like him. Amorphous and pliable when melted, but hard as a rock when no one was there to heat it.

He managed to reach his apartment building just as the downpour began. Sadly, it was only rain, no hail. But what did it matter? It was just water, either way. Cold water. Cold water that made him shiver when wet. He hated being cold. And suddenly Hiiro was glad he was home.

As he walked into his apartment, he threw his eyes onto the table and collapsed onto the couch. He was getting lazy. But it felt good to just relax. Today had been a long day, what with Jay and Une, and the Relena and Sally, and of course, with Serena. She made him the most tired of all. All he wanted to do now was sleep. So he did.

He pulled off his damp jacket, then kicked off his tennis shoes and closed his eyes. His heavy lids sank down and his head relaxed against the cushions. So nice and warm, and dry, ad it was silent. And then his computer beeped.

“Damn piece of crud.” He muttered angrily as he stood up and walked tiredly over to the kitchen counter, where he had his laptop plugged in. Flipping it open, he connected quickly and read through his mail. A few junk forwards from Duo and Quatre that had been sitting in his mailbox for what seemed like forever, a message from Une entitled ‘Job’, and one from J entitled ‘Mission’. His eyes widened. Mission? *

~~~Jee. I feel a little cliché. Can you all guess what happens next? I feel guilty this isn’t as original… But it will be! I promise I’m trying! PLEAZE REVIEW! Much love, Vixen~~~

V-ego- AngelVixen