Chapter Eleven: Book of Revelations

 

*“You, you want to get me pregnant?” She whispered, unable to find enough strength for any more volume in her voice.

“Yes. I’m sorry I relayed my request so harshly. I did not want to offend you in any way…” He stuttered, trying to keep calm.

“Please, stop for a moment. You did not wish to offend me, yet you have the nerve to even bring this up? Now?” She asked quietly. Hiiro looked at her analytically. She looked shocked, to say the least. But her eyes also held a certain spark. The same she often wore when she had just bested him in a fight or argument. Was she, dare he think it, amused by this situation?

“Yes. It is important to me that I keep this fief within my family. My father entrusted me with it, just as his father before him, and his before him, and even his before him. It is tradition, and to think that the monk Benedict would suddenly be responsible for it’s survival… I am sorry I brought this up in such a harsh manner.” He tried to explain. She was just a woman. He couldn’t possibly expect her to understand his feeling of obligation, his feeling of tradition and love for his home. But she had to understand at least partially the importance? She couldn’t that heartless.

“I understand your feelings about this fief. You explained it to me before you left for war. Do you think I would have defended your home as I did if I did not care? You do not trust me enough. I may be a woman, and I may be new here. But I am not new to life responsibility and to obligation.” Hiiro listened and hope rose. Did she mean to consent herself to him then?

“You say you understand. Does this mean?” He asked hopefully. Serena looked at him. She knew what he was asking. A child, an heir. She knew why he wanted one, she understood, most likely more than he thought she did. And it was her own responsibility as his wife to bare him children. But he wasn’t trying to understand her position.

Having a child meant being pregnant. And after that discomfort, it meant she would either die giving birth, or live and have yet another obligation to fulfill. Having a child was a huge step for her. No more outings in the middle of the day, no more spontaneous acts or fun. She would have to care for the child alone, because he certainly wouldn’t help her. Not to mention, if she birthed a girl child, she would have to continue trying to have children until she gave him a boy. Who knew how many children that would leave her with to deal with? But here he was, content and happy to ask if she was willing to be with him.

“It means, Lord Yui.” Her voice went colder. “You need to think more about other things than just your fief. Perhaps when you are ready to tell me what the ‘other things’ I speak of are, I will give you a child. And certainly not before then.” She nodded, happy with the answer she had given him. Hiiro stood, frozen. She was saying no?

“I thought you understood my obligations?” He asked.

“I do. But you, sir husband, seem to have forgotten my obligations.”

“What obligations? Rachel practically runs this house anyway. What holds you back? You would have plenty of time to raise the child.” He asked coolly, almost as if he was brushing her off. She gave a short laugh.

“ You just don’t see, do you? Do you remember your mother? All of the stunts you played on her, the…”

“Stop.” He commanded. “I should tell you, my mother died in my birth. The only mother I ever knew was Rachel. So when you say, do I remember my mother, I tell you now, no, I don’t.”

“I’m sorry.” She replied quietly. “But that does not change anything. It, in fact, adds to my point.”

“I fail to see your point.”

“And that is why I will not yet give you a child.” She repeated.

“Serena, stop being difficult.” He half growled.

“No. Leave please.” She asked him cheerfully.

“Serena, explain to me…”

“Hiiro. Dear, sweet, and incredibly misguided husband, get out.” She cut him off. Her smile scared him. Maybe he should leave her… no. He was a man. She could not command him!

“No. I have a right to be where ever I wish. I am the lord of this fief.” He told her.

“Yes. And you’ll be a dead lord if you don’t get out.”

“You can not threaten me with such words. You…”

“ Are tried of your constant bellyaching. If you wish to speak to someone, go wake one of your serfs. Or Rachel. Perhaps she can set you on the right track. Good night.”

“You…” He continued as she began pushing him, literally, out of her room. A few seconds later he found a door had been slammed in his face. What the hell had just happened? Rachel would know, she always did. Hiiro turned to go see her.

            Grabbing her cloak once more, Rachel sighed. Opening the door, she had to smile. She had called it. “Come on in and have a seat Hiiro. What was the fight about this time?”

            “The will. I told her.” Hiiro sat, frustrated and rubbed his face with his hands.

            “Ah, I see. And she said yes?” Rachel crossed her fingers. Though she could tell by Hiiro’s face the answer was no.

            “She refused me. Told me she understood why, but that I didn’t understand some ‘things’ about her obligations. Told me to ask her again when I understood them. Then when I asked her what, she suggested I speak to you.”

            “And you just left, just like that?” Rachel inquired.

            “Well, not exactly.” He blushed.

            “Not exactly, hmm? She kicked you out again, did she?” Rachel was laughing.

            “And you honestly believe she has a weak heart? I think you have her confused with someone else. Anyone else. There is no woman stronger than that one.” He shook his head, but couldn’t help but smirking at his thoughts of Serena. “She certainly doesn’t fit her name.”

            “No, she doesn’t. Then, that’s already been established my dear boy. Now then. Do you know what things she meant?” Rachel asked.

            “Something about mothers. And tricks. She asked if I remembered the tricks I pulled on my mother. I told her I couldn’t remember my mother, that she had died while giving birth to me. She told me that that only proved her point more.” Hiiro relayed to Rachel.

            “So I see. Well. I do understand her point of view.”

            “You know what ‘things’ she wishes me to understand?” Hiiro looked up hopefully and expectedly at Rachel.

            “Yes, I do know my boy. But perhaps it would be best for you to learn them on our own this time.”

            “Old woman, you tempt me. Speak!” Hiiro ordered.

            “Hiiro.” At her tone Hiiro settled down. How was it that he, the lord of the fief, was constantly ruled over by women? First Serena, now Rachel? He shook his head.

            “Rachel, please tell me?” He begged.

            “I shall give you a hint. Your mother died birthing you, then I raised you. You rarely saw your father, and you were an incredibly handful for the serfs who raised you.”

            “What does this have to do with me?” Hiiro asked confused.

            “Open your eyes Hiiro. Really watch the people around you from now on. Especially the families. Perhaps then you will see what it all means.”

            “Very well Rachel. I’ll give it one week.”

>>>)(<<<

            Sighing, he sat and pulled off his muddy boots. Thunder boomed and lightening lit the darkened sky. Hiiro was trapped in the home of one of the serf’s. The small dark hut was barely large enough for the beds and table that had been set up for the family. He felt slightly bad for intruding, but he had been caught outside in the summer storm so unexpectedly that he hadn’t had time to get home. Being outside in the open, empty flatlands of his field during a thunderstorm was a bad idea, so here he was, trapped in this small home.

            It had been four days since his discussions with Serena and Rachel, and since then, their words had weighed heavily upon his mind. Still, he had not had time to think of everything. But now that he was stuck, he might as well think. Since then he had observed families, mothers with their daughters, fathers with their sons. He couldn’t see the point of watching them. They all seemed content enough. So, what then, was he supposed to make the connection about?

            “Lord Hiiro, would you care for something to eat? Drink?”

            “No thank you.” He shrugged the woman of the house off. He watched as her son tipped over a vase filled with blue lilies.

            “Oh, here now Peter! See what you’ve done! You’ve made a mess again! Just you wait until your father gets back!” At that moment the door flung open and in from the pouring rain came a man.

            “Martha?” The man called.

            “Here. Hello dear. How were the fields?” the woman of the house stood from the mess and leaned over to reach her husband. He reached out as well and hugged her tightly. Then, after a welcoming peck on the forehead, he backed away.

            “The fields were fine, if a bit wet. And how was your day?”

            “Fine as well dear. Though Peter has been a bit of a handful. Dear, teach your son some manners!” The wife scolded with a loving smile on her face.

            “Very well dear. And what would you have me do in the mean time?” The man joked.

            “You are horrible!” The woman laughed. The man pulled her in for another kiss, but the woman pushed him away. “You’re soaking wet, I don’t think so!” They both laughed and the small boy they had called Peter walked around them.

            “Peter.” The man stopped to call to the boy. “Come here son.” The young boy nodded and walked up to his father.

            “What is this about you causing you mother such problems?” The man scolded. Hiiro watched the interaction intently. He had never seen such a person relationship between a father and his son so closely. It was different when in the fields. Then the men hadn’t time to thoroughly scold the children, they merely gave the a few lashes and then turned them loose. That, and his own father had never interacted with him in such a manner.

            “I spilled the vase. I’m sorry father. I wanted the ball on top of the table and couldn’t reach it.” The boy spoke.

            “Well next time wait for your mother to help you. Now, run along and play. Stay inside though.” The man turned his son loose. The father looked after the boy, then turned to Hiiro.

            “Forgive me for not greeting you lord Hiiro. My son is often too energetic for his own good. My wife had her hands full with him until I get home. Then it’s my job to help her.”

            “You help your wife with your son?” Hiiro asked, very thoroughly intrigued.

            “Yes, of course.”

            “Is it not the woman’s job to raise the children?”

            “If I let my wife do all the work, no doubt she would be dead from exhaustion. Besides. If I left my boy to be raised merely by her, he would never learn anything a boy should from his father.”

            “Frederick!” The woman called in the background.

            “If you’ll pardon me, my lord, my wife needs my help.”

            “That’s fine. The rain appears to be letting up. I’ll be on my way. Thank you for your good hospitality.” Hiiro nodded in thanks.

            “Of course.” The man nodded, the left to help his wife. Hiiro stood a moment longer, thinking over the scene he had just witnessed. Then he exited the small home and mounted his horse to begin his trek home.

            It was the dinner hour when Hiiro finally walked into the courtyard. To avoid any meetings with Benedict, Hiiro went straight to his room. He needed to think. Just as he settled down, a knock fell upon his door.

            “Enter.” He sighed.

            “Hiiro.”

            “Rachel.”

            “Where did you wait out the storm?” She asked him.

            “In the hut of a serf family. I watched a man, his wife, and his son while I was there Rachel. Rachel. The man helped his wife raise their son. He said he helped to teach his son. Rachel. My father never helped raise me. I rarely saw him. Yet that man, he came home every night and saw his son. And his wife looked so tired. Rachel, is that what she is afraid of? Being tired?” Hiiro tried to reason out.

            “You’re getting closer Hiiro. Serena has many fears. One perhaps might be her fear of growing tired. But Hiiro, that is not her main fear. Think about it. Your mother died giving birth.”

            “She’s afraid of dying? It never crossed my mind that it was a possibility…” He spoke as if he had suddenly been awed by some dawning idea.

            “Of course it didn’t. You are a man after all. But Hiiro, that isn’t all.” Rachel continued.

            “There’s more? What else could she fear?” he asked, his eyes open wide.

            “Hiiro. Think of it. The man and his son you watched. You’re father never did such things with you, did he?”

            “My father was a joke. He was no father. A knight, yes. A noble, yes. A father? Don’t make me laugh.” He spat out spitefully.

            “Exactly. What things do you think that man you saw was teaching his son by sitting there with him?”

            “Discipline? I doubt it.”

            “No. He was teaching his son love. Now when his son grows up and has a family of his own, he too will sit his son on his lap and teach him love. He will pay attention to him, teach him things simply through being there. You’re father never gave you that. And Serena knows that. She is afraid you will leave her to raise a child completely by herself. She is afraid you will alienate the child and, more still, will never teach the child what a true man, a true father should: love. Hiiro. You need to tell her you understand her fears.” Rachel finished. Her heart went out to her son because he was finally seeing life, the ways of the world, in a higher light than simply what he had been programmed to see it as.

            Hiiro sat silently. He though of what Rachel was saying. But there was more. Serena was not only afraid of death or alienation. Now he could see it so clearly. She was so young for the responsibility. Her freedom would be robbed. The thing they both valued so much would be gone forever. And she would have to not only deal with the child during birth, but afterwards. And what if it was a girl? Then more children. And more. Until she had a boy. She could be tied down by so many things… how could he even consider asking her again now that he knew what he knew? It would be like destroying her innocence. God, what should he do now?

>>>)(<<<

            Serena sat in her room, thinking about the question Hiiro had posed her. She felt bad for telling him no. Her knowledge of his love for his fief had been blinded by her selfish want for freedom. How could she? And she had thought she was more adult than him? She had thought she was responsible, that she took care of her obligations. Her first obligation was to her husband. She had promised to love, honor, and obey her husband. And yet, here she was, denying him his greatest wish: to keep his fief. A knock on the door jolted her from her self-pity.

            “Please come in.” she called. When she spied who stood in the door, she stood.

            “Good evening, monk Benedict. May I ask what your business here is?” She asked calmly. Never helped to panic. “And may I also ask where the maid Molly went that she did not announce you?”

            “I relieved Molly from her duties in front of your door this evening.”

            “And why was I not informed? I though only Rachel could do that?”

            “I’m truly sorry my dear.”

            “Well. What may I help you with at this late hour, sir monk?” She cringed as she watched him step in closer to her. He raise his arm and ran a finger down from her chin, over her neck, down her chest to the beginning of her dress.

            “I think you know quite well what I desire from you.” He leaned in and breathed over ear. “But that wouldn’t do. My dear. I came to warn you.”

            “Of?”

            “Our lord, Hiiro. He is planning to take you.”

            “Oh is he? Take me where?”

            “My lady, our lord Hiiro plans on having his way with you.” The monk tried again.

            “Our lord? Lord Hiiro?” Her eyes opened wide in fake disbelief. What was this monk trying to pull? Well, she would play along. For now.

            “Yes. He needs an heir in order to keep his fief. He plans on taking you tonight, against your will.” The monk tried to look sincere. Serena appeared to be buying every word he said.

            “Oh? He’s coming here? To hurt me? Oh, dear, sweet monk, thank you for warning me!” She brought her hand to her forehead and sighed. “Oh, how dreadful!”

            “I can save you still, my lady. Come with me. You can hide in my bedchambers and…”

            “No!” She sighed deeply. “I think perhaps it would better for me to confront him.”

            “But my dear, he will overpower you. And then, you will be lost. Allow me to save you.”

            “You know, monk Benedict.” Her tone darkened to a more serious nature. “I think perhaps you should leave.”

            “But what of…”

            “Hiiro? Force me? Never. He had morals. In fact, he is coming here tonight. And he and I were both planning on letting him have his way. If you catch my drift. Dear monk, I suggest you leave. Now.”

            “You, you planned, on, letting him, him, have you? Planned on it?” The monk gulped.

            “That’s right Benedict, so if you don’t mind, step away from my wife before I have cause to kill you.”

            “Hiiro.” Benedict and Serena breathed together. Serena, in relief, and Benedict in fear.*

 

~~~Just checking in! How is it? Getting interesting? I think this next chapter might be the last… maybe an epilogue if I decide it needs that much closure…  tell me what you think so far!!~~~