Chapter Ten: Healing the Psyche

 

*Everything was blurry and bright, very bright. But it was warm. And soft, and smelled like fresh roses and sunlight. Cracking his eyes to look around, Hiiro tried to remember where he was. He faintly remembered feeling extreme pain, and Serena’s worried eyes looking into his own as she helped him lay down on her bed. On her bed… So he was still in her apartment. That explained why he couldn’t place where he was, he had never seen it in the light of day. Turning his head to search the room, he saw squinted when his eyes found the source of light that had awoken him.

Open windows let a small breeze drift throughout the room and stir up the shear white curtains covering it. The bright sunlight streamed through and beams danced upon the bed he lay on. A small white table next to him displayed a clock that told him it was nearly ten thirty. He had over slept for once in his life, and over slept a lot. Sitting up, he winced in pain. He had almost forgotten about the pain. But that was easy to do, considering the conditions he was under.

This room was so perfect, so ideal. It was as if it were out of a magazine or some famous person’s home. The tan walls gave it a warm appearance, and while the theme seemed to be one of the sun and moon, the room held a certain down to earth quality about it. This was such a warm room- it fit Serena perfectly. He could just picture her waking up in her white bed with the sun highlighting her features just so… Stop! He needed to stop this nonsense thinking. It was going to push him over the edge. He was a soldier, a person whose soul purpose in life was to complete his missions. He did not have time for the foolish feelings that other people seemed so dependent upon. He couldn’t afford to be emotionally unstable like the rest of this Godforsaken world. But he was having a hard time keeping that ideal wish with Serena around…

Checking his wounds, he found they had been thoroughly cleaned and bandaged. She must have done that after he had passed out, because otherwise he would remember her every touch. He was doing it again. He stood and tested his mobility. It was nowhere near where it normally was. He was stiff and it hurt to move much. Still, he could function properly for normal everyday tasks. Spying the pants on the chair next to the bed, he unfolded them and looked at them. They were simple lay around black sweat pants, both comfortable to the touch and lose around his waist where his bruises begun. Changing the shirt he was wearing to a sweatshirt she had put out for him, he saw she had put some thought into what he would and would not be able to wear. She was sweet to have… no. Dressed, he wanted to express his thanks for her help and leave. It was unhealthy for him to stay any longer, or else he might never want to leave.

Opening the door, a barrage of warmth and acceptance swept over him. Memorizing the layout of her apartment, he walked down the hallway, past where Ben’s bedroom was and poked his head inside. Ben was no longer in his bed, and his pajamas were strewn about the floor carelessly. Closing the door behind him, Hiiro kept walking toward the end of the hall until it opened into a larger living area. He found Ben sitting on the floor laughing hysterically at some cartoon he was watching. It was good to know that the events of the day before hadn’t effected him too much.

“Mr. Hiiro! When did you come?” Ben asked him excitedly when he noticed the dark figure standing and watching him. What was Hiiro supposed to say, that he had stayed the night? What impressions would that leave the child with?

“I got here recently.” Hiiro felt he should add more when he saw the child draw back in slight fear at the cool tone of his voice. “Did you sleep well?”

“Oh yes! Momma said you put me in bed and she put my dinosaur pajamas on and I slept so late! Momma said I’ve never slept so much never ever never.” The little boy went on. Hiiro couldn’t help but become enthralled with the young boy’s liveliness and happiness. In fact, Hiiro almost smiled. Almost.

“I’m hungry. Are you going to eat breakfast with us? Momma said you might…”

“Is your mother here?” Hiiro asked him suddenly.

“Momma went to make breakfast. I like waffles. She makes them with chocolate chips for me! They’re yummy! Momma’s a good cooker.” He jumped up and down excitedly rubbing his stomach and licking his lips the whole time. Then he grabbed Hiiro’s hand and pulled him towards the kitchen.

Hiiro allowed himself to be dragged to the kitchen by the small boy. He couldn’t explain why, but he rather enjoyed the playfulness of the younger boy. It was a version of himself that he had never allowed to escape, so he liked seeing other children that were able to be happy and carefree. As he brought his head up and looked at the scene in the ‘kitchen’, he lost all control of thought and his heart stopped.

Serena was standing over the cabinet trying to reach a plate that he could see was too high for her. Going barefoot and wearing a simple pair of short, stone washed jean shorts and an incredibly tiny bright red tank top. Her long blonde hair dripped down off her shoulders in waves and easily reached the hollow of her back, even though it was pulled into a higher ponytail and slightly curled. He couldn’t see her face yet, but he didn’t need to to know she was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice him or Ben. 

“Momma.” Ben called to her.

“Hmm sweetie?” She asked without turning form her task.

“Momma, are you done with breakfast? I’m hungry.”

“I’m sorry baby. It’s almost done. Did you want to help momma by getting the napkins?” She told him in a sweet, if not just a little bit hoarse voice.

“OK! And momma, Mr. Hiiro came back!” Ben cried.

“Mr. Hiiro came back. Mr. Hiiro came back. Mr. Hiiro came bac… He what? Ahh!” Serena hadn’t really been paying attention to what her son had been saying, so it didn’t process until she had repeated it to herself several times. When she finally did comprehend what Ben had said, she flipped and slipped off of the chair she had been standing on while trying to reach a certain plate. She felt herself begin to fall and knew the ground was coming, and fast.

Unexpectedly she felt two welcoming, sturdy arms catch her. Opening her eyes, she looked up to see Hiiro’s smirking grin. What exactly did he think he was doing?  He was the one who needed help, and yet here was catching her from injuring herself. But his face made up for it. He was smirking. That was rare as far as she knew. No. She would not do this to herself. After she had gotten up that morning she had decided that it would never happen. He was an enforcer of the law. She was a single mother with two jobs, one of which was exotic dancing. She had been crazy to even think along those lines the night before. No, no matter how much she liked him or he liked her, she would never allow herself to be hurt again. She would not repeat her time with Darien. She had all she needed already: her son and her jobs. Those were the only things that mattered, and she wasn’t ready to push them aside to begin a love life. But she would find someway to thank Hiiro for all he had done for her, and if that meant helping him and taking care of him, then she would do it eagerly.

            “Hiiro!” Somehow that did not come out as she had planned it to.

            “You should have just asked for help.” He said.

            “But you should be in bed! You’re hurt! And besides, what if no one was here to help me? There rarely is. This is my home, I should be able to get to everything inside of it.” She said in an indicial manner.  She hoped he would pick up the satire in her voice and take the hint.

            “Hn.” He was still smirking, a given sign that he understood her. Oh, he understood her alright. And he was going to defy her anyway. In a strange way, she liked his way of running the show. It was new and different from anyone else she had ever met. No! Stop! She couldn’t do this to herself. But she wanted to so badly…

            “Really. Hiiro, you were…” She stopped mid sentence. He paused smirking too, wondering why.

            “Ben, honey, why don’t you go watch some more TV? I’ll have breakfast done really soon. Then you can eat as many waffles as you want.”

            “Ok Momma, but remember, you promised chocolate chip waffles!” Ben called as he ran back to watching Marvin the Martian and Bugs Bunny face off.

            “Hiiro why don’t  you follow me? We’ll go somewhere little ears can’t hear us.”  She watched as he thought it over and nodded in consent. She led him around the back of the living room, behind Ben so he couldn’t see them, and into her bedroom. Shutting the door behind her, she turned and leaned against it, trying to collect both her breath and her thoughts.

            “Hiiro, you’re injured. Badly. Last night it was so bad you fainted right here. I had to go down the stairs and tell Hilde to leave you here because I was scared to have you moved. You have three major scratches, one on your shoulder, one on your head, and one on your left arm. Your ribs were so black and blue that I couldn’t find one pink spot on your entire stomach. I’m worried. You shouldn’t be up and walking, and especially not catching falling klutzes like me. I want you in bed, where you can heal and I can take care of you.” She finished and took a deep breath, hoping he would pay attention and comply with her wishes.

            As Hiiro listened to her, he became both more depressed and happier at the same time. So she was worried about him. She cared. But the tone of her voice was so much colder than it had been yesterday and last night. Maybe she really only cared about his health because he had saved her son. But what made him really depressed was the fact that no matter whether she liked him or not, he couldn’t like her. He had done his part, he had completed his mission. But then, why did visions of her face still haunt his mind? Why did her voice still ring in his ears? Or the places she had touched him still tingle?

            “I am fine.” He told her, hoping she would believe him.

            “I know you’re lying.”

            “How?”

            “I…I… I don’t know.” Her breath fell under and her words were nearly in a whisper. “Why are you making this so difficult? I know you’re hurt. Let me help you. Please?” Her voice cracked and he could see the watery depths of her eyes shimmering with un-spilled tears. How was he supposed to respond to this? She looked so engaging, pure and concerned that he felt trapped. He could never deny anything to her. 

            “If I lay down, how long until I may leave?” He asked her. No matter how he felt, work still came first. She gave a short laugh through her tearing eyes. Before she could let the tears drop, she spun around and wiped them away.

            “You can leave as soon as tomorrow morning if you lay back down now.” She told him.

            “Then I will lie down. If I get a chocolate chip waffle.” He said dead seriously. Serena heard his ultimatum and covered her mouth trying to stifle her giggle. She couldn’t let him know she thought he was funny, that she cared for him. But she couldn’t help it. She had never been good at hiding her true feelings from people. And Hiiro’s eyes seemed to be burning holes in her back at the moment. She just could contain her laughter. Breaking out, she laughed long and hard.

            Soon another resonant and substantial laugh joined her own. Hiiro Yui was laughing! With her! She looked at him through her laughing and studied his face. For the first time since she had met him his chiseled features held mirth and pure contentment. His eyes sparkled and shone with a degree she had never seen before. It made shivers tingle up her spine knowing he only laughed with her. Maybe, for once, it would be worth it to drop her walls and let him in… but was she willing to let herself get hurt again? She wasn’t so sure anymore. Nothing was sure for her anymore.

            Hiiro could hardly believe he was laughing. But he was. And it felt good. Really good. He was glad he had decided to let is Perfect Soldier persona slip for a few precious moments so he could finally begin to milk life for all it was worth like he should have been everyday since he was born. Following his promise to Serena, pulled the sweatshirt over his head and pulled the covers of her bed back. Getting in the bed, he caught her blushing while folding the sweater he had placed on the chair. So she felt some attraction to him… at least that much was apparent. Soon he was sitting up in the bed and she was covering him with the covers.

            “Remember those waffles. With the chocolate chips. No chips, no stay. Understood?” He smirked broadly while he said this. She apparently caught on to the joke.

            “Roger that Admiral Yui. Agent Serena over and out.” She let a lose salute fly and grinned broadly. Then she left the room and closed the door behind her. After the door closed, he too, for the first time in a very long time, grinned a true smile.

>>>)(<<<

            “Hiiro? Are you awake?” She poked her head into her room and quietly asked for him.

            “It’s not my bedtime yet.” He responded half smirking.

            “Ha ha. You’re so funny. No, seriously though, I forgot to tell you, even though I got the day off from work, I couldn’t get the night job off. I’m sure you know what ‘job’ I’m speaking of?”

            “You’re dancing.”

            “Hmm. Well, I need to get going or I won’t be there in time to get ready. Ben’s usual babysitter is coming, but she doesn’t know you’re here.”

            “Why don’t you leave Ben with me? I can watch him? I’ve been doing that all day anyway…” Hiiro told her. And it was true too. He and Ben had played cards, watched a soccer game, played GI Jones (well, Hiiro had tried to play, but his imagination needed work, so Ben had spent of most the ‘game’ teaching Hiiro how to ‘imagine’). They had even played a few board games.

            “I would, but you need to rest, and besides, you can’t get out of that bed, you promised me. If Ben wants something to drink, you can’t get to the cups.”

            “I’m not mortally wounded. I could manage.” Hiiro argued.

            “I couldn’t care less if you were mortally wounded or not. The point is, you promised to stay in the bed. In. And I will not be letting you break that promise. Kelly is a really nice girl. Just don’t hold her at gunpoint like you did to me earlier today. I don’t think she would be able to take it.” Serena almost laughed at Hiiro’s absolute insistence at wanting to take care of Ben. She was glad he liked  Ben, but didn’t want Ben to get too attached. It was inevitable that Hiiro would have to leave them, and she didn’t want him to go through a depression of sorts because he missed Hiiro too much.

            “Fine. The name is Kelly?” Hiiro gave in sighing. He was a little tired…

            “Yes.  She’s only thirteen, so she’s younger than me.”

            “Huh?” That caught Hiiro’s attention. How old was Serena?

            “I said she’s thirteen.” Serena repeated. Maybe h had hit his head harder than she thought… he had never had problems remembering detail before.

            “I meant your comment of her being younger than you.” Hiiro told her clearing up her misconceptions.

            “Oh. Well, I had Ben when I was fifteen, and he’s four.” She answered.

            “You’re only nineteen?” Hiiro asked her.

            “Hmm. Well? Do I look older? Oh no! Do I have wrinkles?” She gasped in mock fear.

            “Funny.” He mocked her saying.

            “Hey!” She stuck her tongue out at him.

            “Now you look like you’re ten. Is that the age you were going for?” He threw out.

            “No.” She pretended to pout. “Well, fine then. How old are you Mr. Hiiro Yui? I’m betting you’re… twenty-four.”

            “Twenty-two.” He smirked.

            “I was closer than you were to my real age.” She said.

            “I didn’t guess your age. I thought you were my age, twenty-two. Most of the time you act older. Today must an exception.”

            “That was a low blow!” She exclaimed.

            “And? What are you going to do about it?” He was grinning and almost ready to break out laughing.

            “Well, I just might…”

            “Ms. Serena?” a strange voice echoed through the room.

            “Kelly’s here.” Serena breathed. Only now did she realize how close she was to Hiiro. Sometime during their mock fight he had from the bed to standing over her and propping himself up by leaning against the wall with his hands. She found herself below him sitting on the chair next to her bed. His face was at her level, and she could feel his warm breath on her face. She licked her lips.

            Hiiro saw her lick her lips and it dawned on him how close they were. He liked these positions very much. They put him at an advantage and narrowed her escape path to next to nothing. That, and he was so close to her. He could smell her hair and her fresh soap and roses smell. She smelled sweet. Gods, what was he thinking?

            “Ms. Serena?” The voice came again, breaking the intricate spell that had held the two lonely young man and woman within it’s grip.

            “In here Kelly.” Serena answered when she found her voice. Hiiro pushed himself off the wall and sat back down on the bed. Serena made him lay down and was covering him when Kelly walked into the room.

            “Oh, I’m sorry Ms. Serena. I didn’t know you had company. Do you still need me tonight?” The teen girl blushed at the two people in the room. What were they doing? It looked odd enough…

            “Yes, I’m sorry Kelly. This is Hiiro Yui. He’s a friend of mine who gravely injured himself. I’m just watching him to make sure he doesn’t try anything foolish while he rests and heals.”

            “Oh. Gotcha.” Kelly took note of the bandages and decided that she knew Serena well enough to trust she was telling the truth. “so, do you still need me?”

            “Yes. Hiiro isn’t allowed up. And if he does sit up, push him straight back down.” Serena turned and stuck his tongue out at Hiiro. Then she turned around completely composed and business-like. Hiiro still didn’t understand how she could switch personalities so quickly.

            “Gotcha Ms. Serena. You’d better leave, or you’ll be late.” Serena looked at her watch.

            “Stars, you’re right! By Hiiro, no guns and be good.” She petted his head slightly.

            “Yes Agent Serena.” He mocked her.

            “Watch it Yui. You know the rest of the drill Kelly. Just ignore Hiiro as if he weren’t here. Bye!” And she left the room to find Ben to say goodnight.*