Chapter Two: What the Hell was I Thinking?

 

            * Hiiro could not believe where they were. Was this Duo’s idea of a sick joke? A strip club? He should have stayed home tonight… he should have stayed home tonight…

            “Well boys, here we are!” Duo announced happily as he jumped out of their car.

            “A strip club?” Quatre gulped.

            “Maxwell! What is the meaning of this?” Wufei sneered at Duo from between his teeth.

            “Well, simple. I heard from a friend of mine this place has the best entertainment around. I figured, since we only get Hiiro out once in a blue moon, we might as well enjoy it very thoroughly.”

            “But a strip club?” Trowa shuddered. He did not want to be caught in there. His girlfriend would kill him.

            “I did say it was good entertainment!” Duo argued.

            “And what is that woman of yours, Hilde, going to say? Or my woman, or Barton’s or Winner’s?” Wufei taunted him.

            “Hilde and I have a very open relationship. She’d understand. Come on! The show already started!”  He dragged Trowa and Quatre in by the ear, leaving Wufei to grumble along afterward and Hiiro to silently follow it all. What the hell had he been thinking?

~~~>*<~~~

“ Selene? Did you hear me? I said you on!” It took anther two calls before Selene had the courage to step onto the stage and strike her usual pose. Every time she did this she felt sick to her stomach. Then she reminded herself that her other day job was not going to pay the rent, or put food on the table. Then she finally had the courage to go on with her performance. She felt the curtain rise. She felt the bright lights hit her eyes, and she smiled and began to move and sway as the music began.

            This was so disgusting. All these men had come here to see women, her, and others just like her, dancing. She pulled off the top of her clingy silvery dress and ran her hands up and down her body as she did so.

            These men came to see more than just dancing though. They came to see some action. She swiveled around the pole on the side of the stage and dropped her long skirt. Without the skirt in her way, she was able to hoist herself up on the pole and then swivel back down and around. The men hollered twice as loud as before.

            What were they thinking? And half of them were either married, engaged, or had steady girlfriends. So they were cheating on what ever other significant other they had in their life. Great. She removed her long white gloves, tossed them into the audience, and continued to strut around the stage.

            And she was helping them to cheat. In being here, she helped them, compelled them to leave home for this, this, scandalous scene. Drinking, gambling, stripping, and whoring were all perfectly moral inside this building. And she was helping promote it. She was dancing in nothing but her underwear now.  As slowly as possible, she lowered herself to the floor of the stage and did a few tricks on the floor.

            Men were hounding her, yelling at her, and encouraging her. She was  supposed to be a goddess. Some goddess. How could men possibly like looking at her? She didn’t think she was very attractive. Apparently, others did not share her personal opinion of herself. Picking up the money men were throwing at her, she erotically stuffed its down her bra and panties. Thank god she had left home, because if her parents knew she did this… they would be so ashamed. And her friends!

            Suddenly, looking up, her eyes caught a funny sight. One boy was rubbing the glove she had thrown into the audience against his cheek and hollering for more. Three others were blushing furiously. But there was  another. His eyes gazed at her, but not at her body. They gazed into her face, her eyes, and her soul it seemed. He looked at her impassively, not judgingly as the others. He wasn’t drooling, or screaming or smirking. He was just standing there, watching impassively and taking in the entire scene. The way he stood there, she almost wanted to go up and hug him, tell him everything would be alright, and maybe even… no!  She allowed a light blush to grace her cheeks before she tore her eyes from his and continued dancing. Finally, the music ended.

~~~>*<~~~

            “Hey guys! Here’s an empty table! And it’s near the front too! Come on!” Duo grabbed the chairs and sat down in one of them. He let the other three pilots sit in the others.

When Hiiro caught up with them through the crowd, he neglected his chair and opted to stand against the wall. Crossing his arms, he leaned back and let the layout of the room sift over him. Trying to get a feel for the atmosphere, he closed his eyes and listened, He could here drink orders being shouted, men talking about the last ‘performer’, men speaking about the next  ‘performer’, and other conversations much of the same topic. He heard the music start, but kept his eyes closed. When the lights of the room dimmed and became blue, he opened them and stared at the stage.

Gracing the stage was an angel. Or, what he had always envisioned an angel  might look like if they were real. The woman’s hair looked like spun gold dripping down past her waist. Her angelic child-like face was relaxed and peaceful, but her could see the tense readiness in the rest of her body. As she continued to lose more clothing, he watched as her serene face twisted and contorted. Gently, almost so he couldn’t see it, her facial expression changed from disgust, to disbelief, to loss of emotion. There was something she was thinking about, something a lot more important than the ‘dance’ she was performing.

“Hey, Hiiro, looking at something?” Duo poked him in his side. Hiiro looked next to him to see Duo now standing in whispering to him.

“Hnn.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not. I saw your eyes, I followed your gaze. She’s pretty, huh?”

“ Hnn.”

“ Her name in the program is Selene, Goddess of the Moon.”  Duo chattered away.

“ In the program?”

“Yeah. It’s not her real name, of course, but it’s what her stage name is. Get it? It’s a whole theme. She dresses like a Moon Goddess, the lights go to fit the mood, the music too. Then, when the next chick comes on, they change the lights and music to fit whoever  she is.”

“ Hnn.”

“ Fine man.” Duo gave up and sat back down. Hiiro just kept his focus on the girl’s  face, trying to see if a new emotion would grace her porcelain face. Then, she looked his direction. His eyes caught hers and he was trapped. Those eyes of hers. They were indescribable. Beautiful, deep blue eyes that he nearly drowned in. When she finally tore her eyes from his, it was too late. He had been struck by lightening.

When the dance was over, he stayed in the same position. All through the other seven dances, he stayed motionless, his mind still completely focused on the woman who called herself Selene. What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he stuck this way? It was like a wonderful nightmare. Was such a thing possible? To have something good and not want it? Confusion muddled his mind and that, piled up with lack of sleep, cluttered his judgment and allowed Duo and Trowa to take him by the arms and lead him out of the bar. He remained just as impassive when Duo pushed him into the car and practically sat on top of him while trying to get in himself. It kept him completely out of it until the boys had dragged him all the way up to his room and lay him on his bed. In fact, until Hiiro fell asleep, all he could see were those eyes of the Moon Goddess Selene. Soft eyes that revealed raw turmoil.*