I do not own Gundam Wing. This fan fiction has no commercial value and I am not making any kind of profit or income off of this.

Chapter 17

            The television broadcasts were abuzz with news on the captive princess.  Everywhere he turned, there she was on the TV screen – looking fragile but determined at fifteen addressing the Romafeller Foundation as their new Queen, then at sixteen bravely defying Dekim Barton to broadcast an urgent message to the people of Earth.  Inevitably, her triumphs were then followed quickly by shots of Relena at nineteen defying the ESUN government and handing over a box of ashes instead of the information on the whereabouts and biographical data of the Gundam pilots. 

            Heero would often wonder what the point of these broadcasts was – it seemed to him they just liked dragging her name through the proverbial mud.  He would find himself seething at the announcers when the news came across that another court had refused to hear her appeal – but the University government insisted that the monitors broadcast current events throughout the student center.  And so the school hero withdrew even further from his classmates. 

            But he couldn’t get out of playing soccer, and it was time for playoffs to begin.  The team was taking off to the L5 colony once again to play the Dragons in the first round.  Heero didn’t want to leave the college unless it was to go to Earth, and he hated even more having to keep up false pretenses.  He would just as soon tell the known universe who he was, if he would then be permitted to be by her side – or better yet, get her out of there. This ‘legal defense’ idea didn’t seem to be working, as her argument had yet to see the inside of a courtroom; nor had the pressure on the presumed head of the conspiracy, Prime Minister Talmadge, seemed to have done any good.  As far as he could tell, the Preventers had made no new move against him.  And he and Trowa were having a terrible time trying to get at what the man was up to and why.  Heero despised being kept in the dark and the feeling of helplessness that accompanied being left out of the information loop.

            The news continued in the background of his mind while he packed the recently laundered uniform in his blue soccer bag with his shin guards, slider shorts, and cleats, then zipped it closed.  He looked back at the television, and saw her image onscreen again.  His heart contracted painfully as he watched the footage play for probably the hundredth time since she had been taken from him.  There she was, again, giving her most famous speech as Queen of the World.  He closed his eyes and remembered for a moment what she had looked like from his vantage point above the stage, her eyes alight with determination as she spoke from her heart, asking Romafeller to put down their weapons and work for a peaceful resolution with the colonies.  Then she had turned her gaze upwards, and their eyes locked for a moment.  She had always claimed to get her strength from him, but he never believed her.  The intensity behind those light blue eyes had caused him to falter that day – like only she could do.  How can she love me? He wondered, not for the first time as he opened his eyes and moved to flip the television off before leaving the room. 

            The shuttle ride to L5 was boisterous, as Heero’s teammates eagerly anticipated ‘kicking butt’ on the Dragon home turf – for the playoffs, no less.  Their star player, however, did not join in their celebration as he deftly cracked satellite security codes in order to receive the latest broadcast on his laptop.  The legal defense team was waiting on some important news that he didn’t want to miss. Please let it be good news, he begged some higher being he never believed in.   His efforts were soon rewarded as a man in a gray suit and round spectacles came on screen to announce the late breaking story.

            “Today, at two o’clock in the evening, Greenwich Mean Time, the 5th level court of appeals has agreed to hear arguments from both sides of the Peacecraft v Leinsford case.  The court will convene on Monday at nine in the morning to hear from attorneys.  It is unknown at this time whether or not Miss Peacecraft will make her first public appearance in more than three years…” The announcer continued, but Heero quickly terminated the connection as Brian, who had been watching over his friend’s shoulder from the seat next to Heero on the shuttle, suddenly stood up and cheered.

            “YES!  Ha!  They’re going to hear the appeal!” Brian yelled.  The others turned to look at him like he was nuts.  He glared back at them. “What?  You all think she should die?” He challenged.

            No one said a word.

            “That’s what I thought.”  He glanced down at Heero before taking his seat again, but his friend just stared icily up at him.  “I thought you would be happy.”

            “She’s not safe, yet,” Heero said flatly, but still somewhat relieved at the announcement.  Four courts had already turned down the captive princess, and the fifth level court of appeals was really the last resort before the High Tribunal.

            “But it’s a start,” Brian insisted, grinning widely from the news.

            “Well, maybe she doesn’t deserve to die, but she does deserve some sort of punishment,” a lone voice called out from the end of the aisle.  Brian stood up and glowered at Terry, the center midfielder who had made the unwise statement aloud.

            “Terry, the woman has suffered, okay?  She’s already served her sentence; they need to let her alone – so pipe down.  No one wants to hear your lip!” Brian yelled angrily.  Heero had his eyes closed tightly, trying to hold back his own fury.  This was not what he needed right now, some loud mouthed idiot insulting his…his…What is she? My girlfriend? No, that sounds so trivial compared to all that we’ve been through… His thoughts were interrupted by more yelling.

            “What sentence?  She went to Mars and became a government official there for a while.  Big deal – some punishment. And we don’t know that she didn’t set that bomb on our own colony a while back.  When are they gonna start investigating that, I want to know!”  Terry shouted back.

            Mike, the trainer stood up.  “She didn’t set that bomb, you idiot.  There’s no way.  You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about Mackey, so shut the hell up!”

            “I don’t know what I’m talking about – you two act like you know Miss High-and-mighty Queen of the World.  Who the hell are you to talk, Strinsford?”

            “I – I…” he glanced quickly at Brian, then continued.  “I have done some research on the topic lately.  The Preventers have a very informative website in which they already announced that Relena definitely did not plant that bomb.  They’re attributing it to a terrorist attack, but I don’t remember the name of the group off hand.  So I do know what I’m talking about!” Mike retorted.

            “Oh, it’s Relena, now is it?  You’re on a first name basis with her?” Terry sneered.  “You know there was a rumor that she was on our campus a while ago, visiting a personal friend.”

            Brian gulped and looked at Mike, then glanced down at Heero.  The ‘personal friend’ was gripping the arms of his seat so tightly his knuckles were white – the same color as his face.  He opened his eyes and glared up at Brian, his blue eyes blazing with fury.  Brian knew they were going to have to shut the guy up fast in order to avoid pushing Heero over the edge.

            “That’s ridiculous,” Brian said and laughed nervously.  “What personal friend could she possibly have on our campus?  You’re just making that up Mackey.”

            “No, I heard that rumor, too,” Jeremy Duncan, the right midfielder stood up from his seat and joined the conversation.

            “See?” Terry said and smirked.  “I dunno who she was visiting, maybe it was Strinsford over there,” he said and nodded toward Mike.

            “What?  No way!  I mean, in my dreams a girl like that would visit me….” Mike said, trying to make a joke.  Instead he made the situation worse.

            “Oh, yeah – I wonder what it would take to get a personal ‘visit’ from the former Queen.  I know a certain soldier that would like to stand up and show her his salute!” Terry said with a crude gesture.  Several others laughed, but Brian and Mike cowered as Heero finally rose from his seat.  The glare he sent Terry sent a twinge of panic down the young man’s back, and he could feel his knees weaken.  He tossed the team leader a shaky smile.  “Oh you decided to join the conversation on that note, huh, Yuy? What, don’t tell me there’s actually a woman you’re interested in banging – we were beginning to think you were gay!”  Terry hurled the intended insult at him; he had always been jealous of the attention that Heero had received.  In his mind, he was every bit as good a striker as the former Gundam pilot.

            Heero continued to glare at his teammate.  “Do not say another word on this topic.”

            “Which topic is that – her being punished by ESUN?  Or her paying a personal visit to my bed?” The arrogant smirk was quickly wiped off his lips by Brian’s fist smashing into his face.  Terry sunk to the floor of the shuttle, but Brian picked him off the ground by his collar. 

            “For the last God damn time, Mackey, shut the hell up!  No one wants to listen to your fucking mouth!  You’re slime, and you just insulted one of the classiest ladies I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting.  Yes, I have met her, and I’m not afraid to admit it.  You say another damn word about her and I’ll beat you to a pulp, understand me?”  Brian yelled. 

Heero just stood and watched, his own fists clenched at his sides.  He had been poised to lash out, when Brian beat him to the punch, literally.  Although it did nothing to quell the fury racing through his veins, he did realize what his roommate had just done for him – no one would ever suspect Brian of being more than what he was, nor would they question his motives for defending Relena’s honor.  His roommate’s life was an open book, and his friendly and outgoing nature left no room for mysteries or a secret past.  Had Heero, the withdrawn, secretive type, been the one to step forward, it would have instantly created suspicion on some level within the other players’ minds.  He’d already been in enough trouble over the last four years for damaging school property when she was declared a traitor, and when he almost lost his scholarship over the paper he had refused to write thereafter.  Eventually, someone else would put the pieces together.  He watched in silence as the coach finally rose from his seat and reprimanded Brian.  Heero’s blond roommate was benched for the misconduct.  He sat back down in his shuttle seat and wondered how many more times he was going to let people he cared about pay consequences that only he deserved.

The Bulldogs, as expected, won the match and a birth to the semi-finals the following weekend against the L4 colony University team – the Wolves.  It was Sunday, and the team was packing their things to make the shuttle back to L1.  Heero had appropriately thanked his roommate for shutting up the loud mouth Terry Mackey on the way there.  Brian had shrugged and said, “Well, actually he should be thanking me for saving his life. I couldn’t rightly let you kill him, though – Relena would never forgive me.”

Heero raised an eyebrow.  “How so?” He wondered aloud – wondered what all she had told his roommate, that he could possibly know about the promise he had made after Mariameia – a promise as much to her as to himself.  He closed his eyes and remembered the feeling of relief that had washed over him as he made that promise…

“Well, if you had killed him, you definitely wouldn’t have been able to play yesterday.  And then all the time she spent protecting your ass would have gone to waste if you were sent to jail for murder,” Brian half-joked.

Heero’s eyes snapped open, the memory lost.  “Who cares whether or not I played yesterday?”

“Um, well, I’m sure that it’s probably the only bright spot in her week – watching you play on TV.  Unless you think she gets a kick out of sitting around in a cell all day watching the walls and waiting for pronouncements of doom.”

“I doubt she’s watching now,” Heero said flatly.

“I doubt she’s missing it – I know what a die hard fan she is.  If there’s any way she could get a TV to watch you play, it’s been done, trust me,” Brian retorted with a grin.  “On a different note, can I cut out the suicide watch, now that she’s been granted a first hearing?”

“Suicide watch?” Heero asked and looked at his roommate blankly.

“Uh, yeah.  You know – we’re all worried about you, you’re not going to be okay, so I had to take your gun…the suicide watch.”

“I didn’t know I was being watched,” Heero growled.

“Well, I was just worried, that’s all.  I mean, I understand you love the girl, a lot – I can’t possibly imagine what this is like for you two, but I don’t understand giving up…”

“It’s not giving up.  You’re right, you don’t understand, and it’s not up for discussion,” Heero said cutting him off rudely.  “I don’t need a ‘suicide watch’. If and when I decide to die, there won’t be anyone who can stop me.”  His voice was cold and detached, like he wasn’t talking about ending a precious life.

“But she would have died so that you could live – don’t you understand that?” Brian protested, his voice hoarse from the emotions he was feeling - outrage and concern.

Heero turned and grabbed his friend’s collar roughly.  “Of course I understand that.  What you and her don’t seem to grasp, however is that I don’t exist.  She’s all the life I have.” He hissed and then released his roommate’s collar.

“You don’t exist?  That makes no sense,” Brian said confused.  He shook his head.  “I’m looking at you, you seem pretty real to me.”

Heero turned away from him again, hands clenched into fists at his side. “I am a soldier.  It was all I was ever trained to be.  I follow orders - nothing more, nothing less.  I don’t even know my real name.” The last sentence was spoken barely above a whisper, quiet anguish evident in every syllable.

“But you do exist – as Heero Yuy.  You don’t always follow orders, you think for yourself and make your own decisions.”

Heero tried to quash the tumult of emotions vying for control as he turned his head to give his friend a skeptical sidelong glance. “Name one time that I disobeyed a person in authority,” he challenged, fighting to keep his voice steady and emotionless.

Brian frowned and looked deep in thought.  After a few seconds, he felt a smile tug at his lips.  “You did once.  Remember, when you refused to write the paper for History class about why ESUN was justified in declaring Relena a traitor.  You got in trouble for it, but stood your ground.  So there, you can think for yourself!”

Heero nodded and then started to walk towards the door. He opened it and stopped for a moment to call out, “You only proved my point.”

“What point?” Brian asked, puzzled.

“She makes me human,” he said and walked out of the room and into the dimly lit hall.  I never followed orders with you, Relena.  I only followed my emotions…

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AN: Apologies all around for taking so long.  The original draft was lacking something…and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it.  Tack on the job search quotient, and I’m taking longer to get these done than I would like.  Dedicated to smoothy31 – so you don’t fail your sophomore year waiting for this chapter, and Sarah who hates to read long fics that aren’t finished yet.  Well, it’s still not finished, but “I’m getting there I’m getting there (Tim Curry, Clue).”  Thank you all for reading!  Love, Rose