Chapter 26

Medical Wing

Preventer Headquarters

            “You shouldn’t have been so harsh with her, Wufei.” Sally’s voice assaulted him upon his exit from Relena’s room. Wufei had sensed her presence behind him, but didn’t bother to turn around.

            “It is dishonorable enough to end your own life, it’s disgusting to think that she would try to…”

            “She didn’t know.”

            The doctor’s words hung in the air, the statement at first unable to penetrate his mind.  Abruptly, he spun on his heel, moving towards his fellow Preventer.  The contempt was written on his face as he searched her eyes for reassurance.  This couldn’t be the truth.  But the weary and saddened look she gave him was all the confirmation he needed. He was unable to look at her and turned away, the words he spoke freezing in the distance between them, taking on an icy tone as they left his lips. “Then you have bigger things to worry about than her physical health.”

            The reply tumbled out of her mouth, more a statement of fact than an attempt at an excuse. “It wasn’t my decision.”             

            Wufei slowed his retreat, coming to a halt after a few steps, but still not wanting to face her. “How many times are you people going to play God with her life?  Evil begets evil, and those that deceive will see justice.  I would have expected more out of you.”

            “Don’t give me that, Wufei, it was an order from my superior officer, what was I supposed to do?”

            Wufei simply shrugged, glancing half-heartedly over his shoulder before stepping out into the corridor.  “It isn’t my place to judge you or your actions.”

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      * 

Arctic

            The thought briefly crossed his mind to just keep flying, but he had no right to deny Yuy his retribution.  Besides, he had to ask Zechs to watch over Catherine for him after he was gone. 

            The shuttle docked almost automatically in Howard’s fancy ice strewn air base.  He wondered where the man got the funds for these types of military niceties. 

            For a long time after the machine stopped moving, Trowa just sat there, staring out of the cockpit at the bland landscape before him – the scene wouldn’t stop replaying in his mind.  The blood – her blood… on the floor, on his hands, mixing with her long golden hair as he eased her onto the tile…  Relena, I’m sorry…

            “Is it all that hopeless?” His thoughts were interrupted by someone opening the door to the shuttle.  Duo’s face peered inside.

            “She’s not here, is she?”

            “No.”

            “Will you tell us what happened in there?”

            “No.” A tear traced the contour of his cheek, mixing with some of the dried blood on his face.  It turned a dark red color before dropping onto the collar of his flightsuit.

            “I…I’m sure it wasn’t your fault, Trowa.  It was a huge gamble.  We know that, Zechs doesn’t blame you for it.”

            “But Heero does.”

            “He’s not really thinking straight, right now.”

            Trowa threw his head back and let out an eerie laugh.  “It seems that something can break through those emotional walls after all. Good.”  He finally got up from the pilot’s seat and faced his comrade.

            “My God, Trowa.  You’ve got blood all over you!”

            Trowa glanced dazedly past his braided friend, looking instead to what lay outside the shuttle door, what was waiting for him.  “Not for long, Duo.  It won’t be much longer now.”

            He saw the shuttle dock and felt his heart leap into his throat, even though he knew she wasn’t there.  He had prepared for this part, envisioned it happening, when Trowa would arrive, Relena was supposed to emerge, and the two of them were supposed to take off again, immediately, towards a new future- one that had not yet been written, but was already in ruins.

            Zechs was glaring at him, a warning look in his eye telling him something he couldn’t discern.  Trowa knew the penalty, had accepted it already.  Failure equaled death; it was a rule neither of them had made, but all had agreed to live their lives by a long time ago.  His job was to bring Relena back with him.  Heero had trusted his friend with the thing most precious to him, and Trowa had betrayed that trust and failed his mission. 

The former Zero pilot narrowed his eyes as he saw the acrobat alight from the shuttle, and begin the trek towards the end of the runway where he and Zechs were waiting.  Fire ignited in his veins as he saw how slowly the other man walked towards him, as if he wanted to delay or escape justice.  Heero’s lip lifted into a snarl and he brought his fists up from his sides - hands clenched so tightly that the miniscule nails bit into the soft flesh of his palm.  In a flash, he took off running.

Heero lunged at the taller man, knocking him backward to the ground.  “You were supposed to bring her back with you!” He screamed and landed a punch square against Trowa’s jaw.  The acrobat made no move to defend himself as he received a breath- stealing knee to his stomach, doubling him over in pain. He coughed and felt the body of his friend being pulled off of him.  Zechs had been right behind Heero and was trying to restrain the enraged man.  As if in a fog, Trowa felt arms reach under his shoulders, trying to lift him up a split second before the hard toe of a boot collided with his ribs. 

“Yuy, that’s enough!” Zechs yelled, still grappling with the younger man, trying to contain him.

“He failed his mission.”

Arms again, underneath his shoulders, lifted him to a sitting position.  He didn’t glance up, and his long wheat-colored bangs hung over his face, obscuring his eyes.  Instead, he pulled the gun from his holster, and slowly climbed onto his knees.  He held the pistol out to his old friend.

“My life is in your hands.”

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Broken pieces of her laptop lie on the table in front of her.  She had done her job well, remembering all her training, and had thrown the issued laptop out the window after they had dragged her from the closet.  It had landed on the concrete two stories below, and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.  They would recover nothing of what she had been given.

Her voice seemed insignificant and lost, even in such a small room.  Only darkness greeted her when she attempted to lift her head and face her interrogators. “I won’t tell you anything.  I don’t know anything.” Catherine coughed and spit blood mixed with saliva onto the floor, while steeling herself for another slap to the face.

It came, but no longer stung like the first of the countless blows to her swollen cheek.  The guy had a ring on his finger that burned her skin with every hit, but even that, she had gotten used to. She just hoped that gun would stay where it was, holstered, and that they would keep her alive.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

Heero tried to shake Zechs off of him, but the older man held firm.  “Yuy, this won’t solve anything.  You know that!”

“There is a price to be paid, and I must pay it,” Trowa said, his face blank, calm despite the remains of violence and grief marking his cheek.  His comrade’s voice never wavered.  This is how it must be. 

“Let him go, Zechs.”

The elder Peacecraft stared at him for a long moment before releasing the livid man in his grasp.  Heero straightened his shoulders and snatched up the gun Trowa held out to him.  “Last requests?”

Trowa’s eyes never left the ground.  He would not look up at his friend and make this any harder on him than he had to.  This was, business, not a personal vendetta, he had failed the mission, and knew the penalty going in.  “Please watch over Catherine for me, Zechs.”

“No, Yuy, stop this right now.”

A click resounded as the safety was disengaged.  “He chose his fate.”

“Heero, you don’t want to kill Trowa.”

“I didn’t want to kill a lot of people,” he spat, his finger inching towards the trigger.  “This… this is no different.”

“My only regret is not being able to save her.  But before you pull the trigger, I must deliver a message… I promised her.”  Trowa sucked in what he believed would be his last deep breath.  “She said to tell you that she loves you and she’s sorry.”

The gun trembled in his hand, hesitation striking his features.  “She’s sorry for what?”

“I don’t…I don’t know.  Please just make it stop, I don’t want to remember anymore.”

His focus blurred, he could barely make out the man kneeling before him, begging…for what, though? For his death?

His palm was wet, the polished metal of the gun grew slick and started to slip from his tremulous grasp.  It was heavy, so heavy…it weighed on his arm causing the muscles in his shoulders to ache with the strain.  A strong hand pulled the weapon from his fingers just when he thought the burden would bring him crashing to the ground. 

 “Heero, Zechs!, Come quick!  A newscast just announced that Relena…Relena’s been injured!”  The familiar voice of Quatre Raberba Winner echoed through the base control center as he and half of the Maguanac corps came bursting through the doors, interrupting the scene taking place at the rear of the hanger.  “You guys, you have to hear this.” 

“And reports are in from Preventer Headquarters in nearby Luxembourg that Relena Peacecraft, who was being kept under house arrest, was wounded today and is now in critical condition.  Details are sketchy at this hour, but sources close to Colonel Une say that it was an accidental shooting, and in no way related to the blackout incident this morning at the Cromwell Military Installation.  We’ll go now live to the reporter on the scene.”

“What the hell happened, Trowa?  It’s time you gave us some answers,”  Zechs seethed at the former Preventer who stood, seemingly detached, in the midst of the doorway.  The others were crowded around a tiny nineteen inch TV that Howard kept in the control room kitchenette.  “Whose blood is that all over you?”

Trowa bowed his head, and shifted his weight to where he leaned heavily against the doorframe, as if unable to support himself any longer.  Heero sunk down in one of the wooden chairs and buried his face into the palms of his hands.  He already knew the answer before it was spoken.  “It’s Relena’s.” The acrobat’s voice echoed hollowly in the room.

“Can you tell us what happened, Trowa?” Quatre turned to face his friend, the reporter’s voice still going but no longer being heard in the tiny room.

“I…I don’t want to…remember.  It’s not my place…. Wufei says she’ll be all right, and I believe him.  All we can do is wait.”

“What do you mean it’s not your place?” Zechs snarled and took a menacing step towards him.  Duo reached a hand out to stop the older man.

“Let him alone.  We need to get out of here, anyway. They may still come looking for us.”

“They know it was us,” Trowa confessed. “ Luckily for Heero, Relena shot the communicator before his face was seen, so he can go back to school.  I think all we can do now is go home.”

Quatre nodded.  “You’d better get going, now, then Heero, if you’re going to play the championship game tomorrow night.”

“What’s the point?”

“What?” Trowa looked over at Heero, his eyes narrowed into angry slits.

“What’s the point in playing the game or going back to school?” He spoke through his hands, not bothering to glance up.

Trowa crossed the room without a word, picked Heero up by the neck of his flight suit, carried him forward a fewsteps, and then slapped him harshly back against the wall.  His green eyes had lost their dazed look, and were now hard and completely focused.  “The point is that you go play for her, you go live your life for her, and stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

Ice blue eyes sparked into a fiery blaze.  “Sorry for myself?” He struggled against Trowa’s grip.

“Yes, Heero, sorry for yourself.  That’s all you’ve done is think about how you feel, and how miserable your life would be without her.  What about her?  What about what she’s going through? She needs you to be strong and to keep going, so dammit, that’s what you’re going to do.  Believe in her, she’s earned your faith.”  The acrobat released his hold on Heero’s flight suit, and turned around and left.  The other four men just watched him go.

“I’ll take you back to L1, Heero,” Quatre offered, breaking the stunned silence.  The former Zero pilot blinked and stared at nothing, but quietly nodded his consent.

“It isn’t over…” He told himself again and followed the others out to the landing strip.  The fighter planes would be left in the large warehouse with Howard.  They would not be missed - weapons like those were not needed in this new world.  It was futile to fight fate.

*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

“Man, I was hoping you’d come back.,” Brian said, groggily blinking up from his bed.  “I tried my best to cover you with the coach, but he knows you’ve been missing.  He wasn’t about to let it out to the press though.”

Heero nodded and crossed the room without turning on the lights, and slid a small duffle bag alongside his own bunk before dropping heavily onto it.

“They say she’s all right.  She’s listed in stable condition, but it’s been a media circus already.  They won’t say for sure what happened, but somehow, Heero,  I think you know.”

“I don’t.  I wasn’t there.  Trowa won’t say.”

Brian’s voice was barely a whisper in the darkness.  “So you did try to rescue her.”

“Yeah.”

“Heero, I….”

“There’s nothing to say, Brian.  I’m going to bed.”

“You’re going to have to see Coach first thing in the morning. What are you going to tell him?”

“Hn. I don’t know.”

“Well, if I think of anything, I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks.”

Exhaustion had settled its vice-like grip into his body hours before, but sleep would not come.  He stared up at the darkness which hung overhead, shifting and embracing its wayward child.  He had been foolish to leave the life he knew so well, hidden within the shadows watching the light from a distance.  Was this his punishment for daring to dream, to have a life of his own?  “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” He heard Trowa’s voice tell him once again.  Damn him.  Didn’t anyone understand? 

Live for her? I thought that’s what I was doing already. 

Believe in her…He always had believed in her, even when he believed in no one else.  But maybe it was time to tell more than just Relena how he felt.  Perhaps it was time to tell his secret to the world.

            “So, you dropped a bombshell on us earlier today when you revealed in a pre-game interview your relationship with Relena Peacecraft.  Can you tell us why you decided now to announce it, on the day of your last game of your college career?”

            Heero glared over the top of the microphone that had been shoved into his face, staring straight ahead as he answered.  “No.”

            “No, you can’t tell us?”

            “It’s been rumored for a while, I thought it might make things easier on her…”

            “So, how exactly did you meet Miss Peacecraft?”

            “How?  We met at school, at Saint Gabriel’s Academy seven years ago.”

            “And were you lovers then?”

            “No.”

            “Seven years ago is reportedly when she first made contact with the Gundam pilots, prior to her reign over the Sanq Kingdom and the world.  Did you also make contact with them?”

            “I didn’t stay at that school long.”

            “No, you didn’t, in fact you only stayed for a month according to past school records at the Academy, care to explain that?”

            “I transferred.”

            “Where?”

            “To another school.”

            “Which school?”

            “I don’t remember.”

            “You don’t remember that school, but you remember St. Gabriel’s?”

            “Yes, because of who I met there.”

            “Meaning Relena.”

            “Yes.”

            “Do you remember meeting other people there?”

            “Not really.”

            “No one that might have been a Gundam pilot.”

            “No.”

            “You said that your relationship had been rumored for a while now, but prior to that rumor was one that suggested Miss Peacecraft protected the Gundam pilots because she was romantically involved with one of them.  Knowing her like you do, and for as long as you have, was that ever true?”

            “No.”

            “Then why does she protect them?”

            “Relena believes in justice, and equality, she didn’t feel it was fair….”

            “And what do you think?  Is it fair of ESUN to fear and want to lock away the Gundam pilots?”

            “No.”

            “Why not?”

            “They were soldiers just like those of the Alliance, Oz, and White Fang…”

            “Yes, but the Gundam pilots were rebels, they started the last war.”

            “No, it was my understanding they fought against the Alliance…”

            “You seem to sympathize with their cause.  Is that just for Miss Peacecraft’s sake or something else?”

            “I don’t…”

            “The Gundam pilots would be about your age, now, Mr. Yuy.”

            “And about your age as well.”

            “Yes, but I don’t have a romantic tie to Relena Peacecraft.  Can you tell us, Mr. Yuy, are you, were you in fact, one of the Gundam pilots Miss Peacecraft wishes to protect?”

            “Dammit Brian, that’s not fair!”

            “Heero, you’ve walked into it four times already, I’m telling you they will go there eventually, no matter what you want to answer.  The press isn’t out to be fair.  They will ask, and if you deny it, they’ll still dig into your past, and if you admit it, you’re toast.”

            “But….”

            “You won’t do her any good this way.  So, go tell the coach you were having anonymous girlfriend problems, your long distance relationship came to a crumbling end, and forget thoughts of holding a press conference to announce your feelings to the world.”

            Heero glared at his friend from across the room.

            “One game, Yuy.  One game and then you’ve pretty well got it made.  Regardless of whether we win, you’ll be signing a pro contract within a week, and coasting ‘til graduation.”

            Heero looked away, turning his thoughts from press conferences and soccer games to….

            “How is she doing, by the way?”

            “I don’t know,” Heero said, fatigue still evident in his face. “I was going to find out after my meeting with the coach.”

            Brian sighed.  “Only you could hack the Preventer database.”

            “Hn.”

            “All right, get going,” Brian urged, trying his best to sound encouraging “ I’ll be waiting here, and watching for any news.  Good luck.”

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

            Trowa worked away at his computer, his eyes flicking over page after page of text log files, trying to trace back the location of where his sister had last transmitted from, but to no avail.  He did, however, find an encrypted upload that had been completed late the night before the attack, just before the revolving IP address changed over to the next randomly generated location.  With a sigh, he pulled down the file folder and began the tedious process of decrypting the data.

            “It must be something important.  I wonder how important, though.”

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

            The afternoon sun was high up in the sky, but the room was pitched in darkness, blinds closed and curtains drawn.  The only light in the room was that of his laptop screen blinking red that the connection had been terminated.

            The door creaked open, but the intrusion elicited no response from the only occupant.  “Heero, we’ve got to go, warm up starts in a half hour.”

            Light surged through the room after Brian flicked the switch, but his roommate lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling in his soccer shorts but nothing else, as if he had run out of the necessary energy to finish dressing.

            “How is she?”

            “Okay,” his voice sounded raspy. Brian stepped closer and was sure that he could see  tear stains on his friend’s cheek.

            “Okay?” He managed to wheeze, forcing the shock out of mind.  Heero… crying?

            “Yeah, she’s okay.  Awake and recovering.”

            “Then why…?”

            “I’m not going.  I have a phone call to make.”

            “Heero, you can make the call afterwards. Ya gotta play.  Come on.”

            “Brian…”

            “There’s something you’re not telling me…again.”

            “It’s nothing.” Heero sat up and turned his back towards the door and his friend.  He squeezed his eyes shut, and buried his face in his hands. God, why?  He whispered and felt that emptiness drowning him, filling his lungs like frozen seawater, and making it difficult to breathe.

            “Then if it’s nothing, get dressed and let’s go.”

            “I won’t be able to concentrate on anything if I don’t make that phone call, Brian.  I’ll get dressed and make the call.  Tell the coach it’s an emergency, but I’ll be there before the game starts.  I promise.”

            “All right, but he won’t be happy.”

            “Hn.” 

The door closed and Heero moved towards the vid-phone.

Why didn’t you tell me, Relena?