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Behold the Monkey
His Teachings
Hail the Monkey
Monkey Heaven....
It is in these times of uncertainty and sorrow that one must look forward to the future that lies ahead in the afterlife.....provided you have paid adequate tribute to the Beloved Great Purple Monkey.
Perhaps you may be wondering what this afterlife could possibly offer you. Perhaps not. If the latter is the case, ye be already damned to the land of coconuts. But for those on the path to Monkey righteousness, know that you will be truly glorified in the time when you believe that the darkness shall consume you. Indeed, it does get dark on occassion in Monkey Heaven, but that is only because of the overwhelming number of bananas that grow.
But it is here that you shall be one with The Creator, The Great Purple Monkey. It is then when the glory that is He shall shine down upon you and all your praise and tribute shall finally come into fruitation....quite literally.
Some may say that this does not sound like a Heaven at all. Particularly those blasphemous enough to dislike, or even loathe bananas. "But reverance will lead to Monkey Salvation and in the end, true bliss will befall you. Doubts will be laid to rest, and all fears and anxieties washed away under the tropical sun as the Great Purple Monkey watches over you...just like He always has." (Purple Scriptures 573.9)
