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I can't stand to fly I'm not that naive I'm just out to find The better part of me I'm more than a bird....I'm more than a plane More than some pretty face beside a train It's not easy to be me **** " Kumagoro is fighting dirty!" Ryuichi whined. Tohma rolled his eyes, pointing to the pink bunny in Ryuichi's arms, " If you can't play fairly you can't play at all." Noriko sighed and shook her head. After all these years, she had hoped working with Ryuichi would have become easier. HOW Tohma tolerated him so was a mystery. Someone as serious and powerful as Tohma...literally having conversations to humor Ryuichi. Actually, she herself did it when Ryuichi was hyper and alone with her. If there was any man in the world to trust yourself alone with, it was Ryuichi...more interested in coloring and playing pretend than to find that special one nighter. " Tohma....he's..." Tohma pulled the bunny from Ryuichi and set him up on a high shelf, " There. You stay up there until you learn how to play nice." Ryuichi glanced up at the lonly looking bunny, " He's gonna be very unhappy up there." " Well, if he's causing problems, we can't have him down here. We have to practice this song, Ryuichi. You've been slacking off really bad lately." " It's Shuiichi's bad influence," Noriko chuckled with a wink. Ryuichi frowned. " What's wrong with being like Shuiichi?" He asked. " He's rather irresponsible," Tohma replied. " But, you like him." Tohma thought a moment, " Yes. I like him. He is very bold and strong...and energetic. He reminds me of you when we first started Nittle Grasper." " Ryuichi, Tohma just has a stick up his butt. Don't listen to him." Noriko sighed, seeing Ryuichi becoming more concerned in his expression. Tohma frowned and sighed, " I give people and inch and they take a mile. Why? Why me?" Noriko snuggled up to Tohma and pinched his cheeks, " Cuz yer cuuuuuuuute and we love you." Again, Tohma sighed, " Let's take a break. Maybe after a bite to eat, we'll be a little more focused." **** Wish that I could cry Fall upon my knees Find a way to lie About a home I'll never see **** " Hai? Mika-San?" Tohma spoke into his cell phone that evening. "Nani?!" He gasped, " Hai! I'll be there in a few minutes." " Woman pulling your leash, Tohma?" Noriko joked. Tohma smiled very brightly. The first true beam he'd made all day, " I'm going to be a daddy." " WAI! Tohma-Chan!" Tohma absorbed the cheer. " I have to get home. I think we've done enough for tonight. I'll see both of you next week." Noriko and Ryuichi smiled and waved as Tohma left them. Noriko smiled at Ryuichi, " I never thought I'd live to see the day Tohma became a father." Her watch began to beep, " Speaking of parents, I better go too. I have a birthday party to plan this weekend." " Saki?" " Hai, she's growing up so fast." " Makes you wish they'd never grow up." Ryuichi smiled, snuggling Kumagoro close to him. " Iie, that's why I have you, Ryuichi." Noriko chuckled. She muffled his hair as she left him alone with the little pink rabbit. It was several minutes of sitting alone in a dark lonely room when he gave Kumagoro a tighter squeeze with a frown. " What is wrong with me? I was the one everyone loved...admired...worshipped....yet I'm the one who's alone....." He glanced down at the bunny, " Of course you're my friend, Kumagoro. I didn't mean that. Look at everyone....Tohma: Married, and now becoming a parent. Noriko: Married, a daughter, age seven.... Shuiichi: involved with a man he loves more than anything. Me...all I have....is....Kumagoro." **** It may sound absurd, but don't be naive Even heroes have the right to bleed I may be disturbed, but don't you concede Even heroes have the right to dream It's not easy to be me **** " YUKI! YukiYukiYukiYukiYuki!" Shuiichi called, running after the novelist. Yuki, of course, continued to walk, ignoring noisy brat of a lover. Shuiichi wasn't at all dissuaded as he ran up to Yuki and smiled, " Why don't you ever stop when I call you? Sometimes I think you try to avoid me." Yuki stopped to glance at him, " It took you three years to figure that out?" " You're always so mean!" " Look at then, Kumagoro," Ryuichi whispered to the bunny as he sat hidden at a cafe, watching the pair. He set Kumagoro on the table and glanced at him with a sigh, " Why is it I'm the only one not getting it? Shuiichi....he says he learned everything from me...was inspired be me when he began...so if he was being a mirror to me...why is it we have totally different results?" Silence.... " KUMAGORO!" Ryuichi snapped, grabbing the bunny and strangling it, throwing it several feet away. " KUMAGORO! YOU....STUPID-HEAD!" Both Yuki and Shuiichi stopped and glanced at him from their place across the road. " It seems your hero is having a bad day." " Un," Shuiichi replied to the novelist, " He doesn't look like he's himself today." " How can you tell?" " Sakuma-San and I...we are a lot alike. I just know." **** Up, up and away...away from me It's alright...you can sleep soundly tonight I'm not crazy....or anything **** " Are you sure?" The bartender asked. " No, I asked to be silly," Ryuichi hissed. The bartender, not liking the sarcasm, went ahead and poured the sake. " I'll need to see your I.D." Ryuichi lowered his head with a sigh, " Do I really look that young?" He pulled his I.D. from his pocket in order to receive the sake. He glanced over to see a couple of young ladies a few stools away. He downed his small glass of the alcohol and approached them. " Hey, Ladies." " Do you know who that is?" One girl whispered to the other. " Sakuma Ryuichi!" From the other. Both clapped and squealed and surrounded him. He smiled, of course. " Did you bring Kumagoro?" The first asked. " Oooooh! Kumagoro is so cute!" Ryuichi frowned. " Kumagoro?" He looked around, " I didn't bring him." The ladies were obviously disappointed. It, in turn, began to bother Ryuichi. That menacing rabbit managed to upstage him...even if he was never brought on stage! * " KUMAGORO!" He shouted, after kicking in his door and running up to his bedroom to wrestle the pink bunny. " How do you DO it?!" He dropped onto the mattress and curled into a ball, holding his plushies tight against his chest as tears streamed down his face. Years and years of being a god to so many...and out of nowhere, he found himself to utterly alone. No woman would ever take him seriously. He was a god on stage but just a big kid to them otherwise. He'd never be seen as a man...just a big boy with a plushie. He sniffled as he sat up and wiped the tears away. " You're right, Kumagoro. This won't solve anything. But, I got a great idea." **** I can't stand to fly I'm not that naive Men weren't meant to ride With clouds between their knees **** " You want to do what?" Tohma asked, a little surprised. " A live show." Ryuichi replied. " What about the music?" Noriko asked. " You two practice it. I've got it here." " Won't you let us see the lyrics?" Tohma asked. " Iie. Learn the music. You'll hear the lyrics when we perform." The other two glanced at each other and nodded. " If that's what you want. * " You what?" Shuiichi asked. " Are you really surprised?" Hiro asked with a big smile. He placed a hand on Shuiichi's shoulder and glanced at Ryuichi. The older singer handed Kumagoro to Shuiichi, " You can have him. I don't need him anymore." " Sakuma-San, Kumagoro belongs to you. Why are you giving him to me?" " He's lucky," Ryuichi replied. " He'll take care of you in this career. I've already had him forever. It's time I share his magic with someone else. And I like you best, Shuiichi. Kumagoro agrees...you're the best." Shuiichi held Kumagoro as if he were a baby and then glanced up at Ryuichi. " Sakuma-san...." * Shuiichi sat in the wings, holding Kumagoro protectively as he watched the stage. A sold out show. Tohma was checking his settings on his keyboard one last time. Noriko stretched and placed her fingers on the keys. Ryuichi came from nowhere to pay Shuiichi on the shoulder and trot out on stage. " Konbanwa! Thank you for coming!" He called out to the crowd, who roared at the sound of his voice. He raised his arm, then threw it down, the cue for Tohma and Noriko to play...and play they did...although they wondered why the secrecy of lyrics. Ryuichi was being rather strange this time around....their concern became shock...shock although they played on without skipping a beat. Shock....those lyrics...they said it all. " What is wrong with me? What is it I cannot conceive? All around me, the world continues to grow Why have you left me behind? * I've been covered in a darkened shroud I could not see So many chances taken for granted Why was this hidden from me? * Life was stolen from me My world was put on hold I wanted it all to remain the same You moved on without me * Can I forgive you? Do I truley have a choice? You placed me on a long leash of time How could you drag me so far behind? * Was I really your friend? Was I really your god? Worship me as False Idols but Did you allow me to fall? * The lights go down It's darkness for me once again I am stripped of my immortality I am incomplete as a man * What am I missing? What have I lost? You move on...continue on As always....I am left behind * You leave me behind You've left me behind My world forever on hold False Idols are raised high....high * False Idols have their time as gods I flew high...and saw nothing...everything It's time to come down I'm crashing...I fall...It's all gone." There was a long silence after Ryuichi completed his song. Not a soul present could mistake the meaning of those lyrics. In that utter silence, Ryuichi turned and walked off-stage, smiling at Shuiichi, then exiting through the back. **** I'm only a man in a silly red sheet Digging for kryptonite on this one-way street Only a man in a funny red sheet Looking for special things inside of me It's not easy to be me **** Tohma slammed the phone down, " He won't answer his phone." " Can't you talk some sense into him?" Noriko asked. " You're like...his best friend. You could convince a cat to adopt a dog." Tohma shook his head, " I can't do that if I can't even get a hold of him." He glanced up and frowned at Shuiichi cradling Kumagoro, " Shuiichi, you've been his best friend recently. Any ideas?" " I didn't think he'd walk out like that. I haven't seen him. He just told me to take good catre of Kumagoro...and I haven't seen him since." Tohma sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, " Oh, this is terrible." " Doesn't he have a right to quit?" Fujisaki asked, being involved as the rest of Bad Luck in the Missing Ryuichi Case. " Yes, but it would have been nice for some notice." Tohma replied. " I would have gladly let him go if he wanted to leave. But, vanishing without a trace really bothers me. And Ryuichi is very strange in his thinking. I have no clue where he could be." Noriko frowned, " I wonder what got into him." K crossed his arms, " Perhaps he finally cracked under the pressure. He's a complicated individual." " What do we do?" Shuiichi asked. " We can't just sit back and do nothing." Tohma shook his head, " I'm afraid that IS all we can do. If he gets in touch with anyone, no one keeps secrets, understand? I want to know he's alright." Shuiichi hummed and snuggled Kumagoro, " Where would I go...what would I do...and what would I be thinking...if I were Sakuma Ryuichi?" END | ||||
