And we stare each other down
Like victims in the grind
Probing all the weaknesses and hurt still left behind
And we cry
These tears of pearls
We do it. Oh, we do it
*
" Hiei," Kurama called gently, " It's going to rain. Come inside."
" Hn." Was all he responded, looking off in the distance from his treetop perch. Kurama has managed to get out on his own over the years. And Hiei often invited himself over. Kurama had nice trees.
These days, Hiei lost himself more and more into his thoughts. Though Kurama was familiar with Hiei's complexity, even he was puzzled by the fire demon's dimeanor. What was the Jaganshi thinking?
##
I don't deserve his kindness. I'm not worth anyone's concern. Never was. How could they put so much trust in me? What makes them so SURE I'm not still a bad guy?
It wouldn't be the first time I've turned on people who were once my team. Yet, it's obvious the circumstances are MUCH different. I choose now to associate with this team. They seek NOTHING from me but my trust and friendship. Not every band is so pure.
Often now these days, I tread the worn and polluted path of Memory Lane. Much like a ghetto, that part of me yet with the modern beauty and luxery moving in. It hides the horrible shacks where the demons within me squat; each holding a fragile piece of me. My painful memories.
Most people would do everything to wipe them away, yet I do not. Why? I may feel better, softer...become more like Yukina...a loving, forgiving spirit. Yes, she is my twin...my opposite...my compliment. But, no. I shall never be like her. I keep my demons...use them to fuel me. I even keep hers for none can stay long in her innocent soul. Funny...an ice demon...so warm and loving inside.; a fire demon so cold and ruthless inside. Perfect twins.
*
Is love really the tragedy
The way you might describe
Or would a thousand lovers
Still leave you cold inside
Make you cry...
These tears of pearls
*
Thunder clapped overhead as dark clouds rolled in...their innards roaring in discomfort; ready to burst. The wind picked up, blwoing grass, trash cans, leaves and flame-shaped hair of the Koorime mutt.
Sweet smells came to Hiei's nose. Pies...cookies...candy. Kurama was baking. He was obviously expecting Hiei to stay a while. And he knew the little fire demon had a sweet tooth like no other. Luckily demons knew no tooth decay, rarely had cavities and teeth always grew back...much like sharks. That was in Hiei's favor.
But, even these smells and notions were of no comfort to the brooding jaganshi.
##
I was only two days old...maybe three when I was thrown off the island of my birth. My only comfort was to know my mother had cried for me. I had no fear as I had never seen or knew anything. My life was new. But, I still pities my mother. She knew much...saw much...did much...apparently more than she was supposed to. She had to live on with that pain.
I suppose it was for the best though. Yukina looked more like a Koorime. My mother's image....though...probably some subtle features she inherited from our father. Too subtle as no one seemed to notice. What could be offensive about another Koorime? But...me...I look a little like my mother, I imagine...but moreso perhaps I inherited mostly the genes of my father....perhaps the Koorime genes were what kept me from looking like some monster...maybe. Koorime don't have very good taste in men when they are tempted. So...she is our mother's child...I am our father's. That son of a bitch. I never knew him...and if I did, I'd kill him. I'd kill him for putting my mother through that pain and the torture of losing a child.
After my exile, I landed into the hands of bandits. This was to be the family I grew up with and knew no love but that of theft and fighting. I had no choice. Bandits don't normally adopt infants. And our ban contained no sympathetic women to care for me. They kept me solely for my tear gem...the one my mother cried for me...and in hopes of raising me as some band slave. Probably liked my spunk. Even at three days...I defended what was mine. Above all the treasures in all worlds...mine was the most precious.
Juuyama was the leader. He kept me close and tried hard to make life a living hell for me. I could only return the favor. An infant can do so little. But, I made the most of it. I still had infant needs. I must have pissed on every one of them. And I took great delight in doing so.
My abuse mostly considered of good beatings. Soon, they were of little use. Why not kill me? That was my secret. A good whack for trying to take my share of food caused me to come to tears. Tears, once fallen, turned black and dropped like marbles against the pebbled ground. Half Koorime....I had the gift. And my gift became my curse. The more I ould cry the more they could reap the benefits. So, as a toddler, I spent a good deal of my time in tears.
" I hear you've not dished in over a month," Juuyama slurred, coming close. I was cleaning up the cave...I was still a young boy. He wasn't even near me yet...but I could smell the booze on him. I could see it in his stagger that he was drunk. As fast as I was, he was a large man and blocked my escape.
I said nothing to his comment. His hand came up through my hair before he gripped hard. I was caught and...though I tried my best not to show it...I was frightened.
He must have sensed it. " You're holding out on us? We let you stay with us...we feed you..least you could do is repay us."
I was unable to form words of any sort. He brought his face closer. His mouth was rotten with ale and lack of care. " Y'know...you're a lot lik a girl. You clean up after us and cry. Our own little ice maiden. Make you cry like a little girl..."
Do I honestly need to go into details? How common, really. But, it was their remedy. They were all free to do it whenever...if they could catch me. It was degrading enough when it was private...in a cave or behind bushes. But, the humiliation of being used...in public...in the middle of camp...stared at...cheered on. The more tears that fell, the more my attacker was cheered on. The less...the more I was taunted.
Believe me...it wasn't long before I decided to change it...and begin to earn respect. I would not be property anymore. I'd be a member...a fighter...a killer.
*
All these mixed emotions
We keep locked away like stolen pearls
Stolen pearl devotions
We keep locked away from all the world
*
Kurama peeked out the window of his bedroom. It was getting dark prematurely. Hmmm. Weather man said it would last all week. He hoped his garden would be alright. And Hiei...Kurama wondered what was bothering him. That deadpan stare was so empty to most. But, Kurama could read people. And the pages of Hiei were long and full...but written in complex codes in which only Hiei had the key.
The timer went off downstairs. Despite the cold, Kurama left the window open, hoping Hiei would come to his senses and come inside. He would persist or pressure the fire demon so lost in thought. These moments seemed important if not thereputic to him. He wouldn't take that away from him.
##
I had been begging for Juuyama to put me in one of the raids. He often refused. He soon came to realize if he could not harvest treasures from my eyes...he would do so with my hands. I was gifted a sword and released.
I never let him down. The problem was...I was invaluable and became viscious. I was unable to cooperate and soon took on single-man raids. That's nothing for a demon plundering HUMAN towns...it IS something for a demon to plunder DEMON towns alone.
Needless to say...the band began to resent me and my attempts to...heh..."impress" Juuyama. They often lashed out at me. A handful never lived to come to their senses. This was thrilling for me. My delicious just vengeance on those who hurt me. All the while, it upped my power level. Oh, the joy!
But, I wasn't completely mad...though I never let them know that. I often went off alone to just...be. Even as the need became less and less, as I worked my way up the hiarchy, I did it faithfully. I didn't have to worry about them coming for me for they now feared me. Friend or for...didn't matter.It was all the same to me at that point. And few waited long enough to chance my mood.
However, word of me eventually spread about the Makai. This brought big and strong demons. I had little support from the band now. Seemed now they were avoiding me.
The point was made clear one day. Upon returning from my alone time, they turned their backs on me and retreated into the caves. Thereby they silently indicated I was no longer welcome with them. I was finally free.
*
Your kisses are like pearls
So different and so rare
But anger stole the jewels away
And love has left you bare
Made you cry...
These tears of pearls.
*
Another clap of thunder. A drop drizzled here and there. A warning spit that the clouds were full. The street lights came on. The birds had retreated, leaving only cars zooming by on the road.
Hiei closed his eyes a long moment, reaching to the Koorime tear about his neck. His mother's tear...shed just for him...and Yukina. He opened his eyes, touching the band on his forehead which covered his jagan.....Hina....his mother...Yukina...his twin sister.
##
My gifts. One I recieved...one I gave. Such stories.
Once I won my freedome, I had total authority to find myself anyway I pleased. I also took this chance to become stronger. I took on ANY demon in my path. If I was angry, or bored, I fought. If I was tired, I slept...but always up a tree where it was safer from my enemies. When I was hungry, I ate...gladly stealing viddles rather than waste my energy hunting.
My days always had an obstacle for me. Usually a demon wanting my treasure. One such battle resulted in me saving my neck..but my treasure was gone...lost in a swift river. I was victorious in battle, killing him for his attack. I shed no tears over my loss. But...how I wanted to.
I recollected where it came from...remembering my mother and the words of her best friend. Yes. I would return to the Isle of Koorime.
The bitter cold was a great cover for the Koorime city. Upon my presence, the old and young maidens flocked off to their hideaways, avoiding as best they could to be unnoticed...and to keep the little girls unnoticed by me..this strange male in their territory. Perhaps I was mistaken for a migrating fire demon that had frequented these parts every so many years. Another fiend who would steal away, if possible..and tempt an innocent maiden as my mate...or plaything. Not so unbelieveable. My father did it. Perhaps, on a more innocent level, they just feared strangers.
I didn't ask questions. They wouldn't have provided answers anyway. Not even innocent children...cute little girls who scooted to the safety of their mothers. I went on, searching for a sign of my mother....and it was her best friend I found. She was mourning over a grave.
She didn't sense me but soon noticed I was nearby.She gasped and took a step back to retreat.
" Wait," I called gently. " Don't flee. I won't hurt you."
She paused. At first, I kept a good 4 or 5 feet between us. If anyone closed in the gap...it would be her. I stepped past her after some time had passed to admire the grave...my mother's.
" She was so sad."
I turned to glance at the young maiden...my elder.
" She used to be so sweet and happy...and a little rebellious. But, all that changed."
She proceeded to tell me my mother's story. Yes, even a little about my father. Nothing significant.
" She had twins. A boy and a girl."
I said nothing.
" The boy was exiled. Sometimes I still can't forgive myself. She was allowed to keep her daughter. But, she was never the same."
I watched the grave as she spoke.
"The girl...Yukina...she has made a habit of wandering off to play. However, on her last venture...she has not returned."
I ran my hand along the grave, " She can rest in peace now." I then turned and began to walk off. Yukina...yes....I had often vacated the banddits when we made raids nearby the island...I had watched Yukina as a little girl. So cute...and seemingly so happy and innocent. Sometimes, I wanted to come out of hiding and play with her...but, it was just wrong.
The maiden came after me, " Wait! You're him, aren't you?! I remember you! Please! You have to take out your revenge on us!"
"Kudaran!" I called back. I didn't stop...Yukina was missing...and I had to find her.
I had heard of a strange item called the jagan...an eye which empowered its owner...well...if the owner could survive. This eye could see over distances...through and around solid objects....even allowed a degree of telepathy and telekenesis. The price was that it could turn the owner into a monster.
I learned of a man who could supply me with one of these....Shigure. I was penniless so I decided to go about it by way of a fair barter...a prize. I would fight him. If he won, he could kill me. If I won...I'd get the jagan for nothing. He refused my challenges and instead offered me a credit. Credit or not...I wasn't paying for it.
I would NEVER recommend one of those things.Ninjens are so spoiled with their painkillers and anesthesia. I was wide awake for my operation...strapped down. One false move would mean my death. The pain was immense and my screams and tears were unable to ease my torture. I did recover quickly though and within a day or so, I was off...AMA, of course. But...I'm not one to follow medical advice. I had serious business to attend to. I'd have to find Yukina....but...only after I was able to control the jagan.
*
Well I could be the tired joker
Pour my heart to get you in
Sacrifice my happiness
Just so I could win
Maybe cry...
These tears of pearls
*
Hiei heard a sweet humming. Without looking, he knew it. Kurama was humming, making up the bed. He knew the tune well. Once the hum became a whistle, Hiei tuned it out. What an annoying noise.
##
What an annoying noise. Surely, he knows I can hear it and hate it. Probably why he's doing it. He always knew how to purposely get on my nerves.
I can remember when I first met him. The demon turned Ninjen. Still, a powerful one...and to win against him...well... He was so young. A facade for the centuries hidden underneath. I was easily fooled by his seemingly sweet innocence. Then, I met rose Whip. A Ninjen with demon powers and memories!
That fight was viscious. I REFUSED to lose. But, I did anyway. Kurama...this Ninjen known as Suiichi Minamino, had years on me. He had experience. A dominant Yokai.
I expected him to leave me for dead or kill me. He did neighter, but took me to some Ninjen dwelling. To my surprise, he healed my wounds.
Why are you helping me?" I demanded. " Once I am healed, I could fight you again."
" If you wish," he replied calmly. " I'll just defeat you again...and heal you again."
" Why?"
" My reasons....hungry?"
" Demons eating Ninjen food. You're a fool."
He smiled and picked up some pudding. " It is actually quite good. Try some."
I only stayed a day or two before sneaking off. I think he expected it, since he left the window unlocked.
Some years later, I ran into Gouki. Big...stupid...and with something to offer. He had heard of me, and came for me.
" No need to get testy," he told me. " I come to ask a favor."
" I don't DO favors."
" What if I told you that you could rule the world?"
Rule it? Overthrow Koenma and the three Makai overlords and use the Ninjen world as my playground?
" I'm listening."
"I hear there are three weapons in Reikai that, when used together...can do anything."
" What's the catch?"
"A share."
" You can't split three." I replied. Then, a thought came to mind. " I propose a third recruit and I know JUST the guy."
Kurama seemed surprised to see me. I told him of the artifacts. And strangely, I didn't really have to persuade him.
With Koenma in charge the task was rather easy for he was careless. Little did I know it was the start of something much bigger and more wonderful...more meaningful.
*
All these mixed emotions
We keep locked away like stolen pearls
Stolen pearl devotions
We keep locked away from all the world
*
" Hiei, do you mind if I invite Yusuke and Keiko over for supper?" Kurama asked out the window.
" Hn." Hiei replied. Kurama took it as an okay and went to invite their old friend.
##
Yusuke...quite the puzzle. I knew there was something about him from day one. Cocky bastard. Being caught never made anyone eager to make friends. Then again...Kurama was the only friend I had...sorta.
I admired Yusuke's resiliance. Somehow, his passion and humor marked him above human. What a fight. Even in my Maijin form, he beat me...by chance...but STILL! What a worthy opponent. Getting your ass kicked by a man like that causes humiliation and respect!
He ALWAYS fought for a reason. Fought for humankind...for friendship...love...innocence. A true hero.
He held no grudge against me after my arrest. Seemed rather eager to befriend me. What an idiot. Gotta love him.
His power increased with every fight...only making it more evident tht he was special. Not short bus special...REALLY special. Under my nose was not just some man...some rebel...but a demon child. I knew there was a reason I liked him.
I believed in Yusuke. We all trained hard, but he was always above us. I used to always quench my pride and go for the biggest challenge. But, the Urameshi group was a team...a band. And in demon society...there was a set of rules for that.
Lower members...all members were free to scramble about the henchemen and lower members of other groups. But the strongest one...the leader...was ALWAYS left for the opposing leader. I always left the man in charge for Yusuke. He fought Suzaku...Toguro Ani, Sensui and funny how he came to be the heir of one of the Makai overlords.
I sometimes disagree with him. But, I trust his judgement and his abilities. He has us to lean on for support. So what if Kurama, Yusuke and I all work with separate Overlords. When push comes to shove...we will always stand behind Yusuke....our true friend...something almost impossible to find in any world.
*
We twist and turn where angels burn
Like fallen soldiers we will learn
That once forgotten, twice removed
Love will be the death...
The death of you...
Baby!
C'mon Darlin!
Mm mm mm mm yeah
*
" Hiei! Koenma is coming too! Kuwabara too! Looks like we're having al all-out get-together!"
Hiei scowled, not even looking at the red-head. Koenma wasn't his most favorite person in the world. Bratty little snot prince. He prefered KUWABARA over Koenma. Oh well...there were people he disliked more.
##
Out of the three worlds, Reikai and Makai have to be the most complex. Survival. in Makai depends on luck, power and strength. It's unlike Ninjenkai, where life is boringly relaxed.
Reikai is where it ends. No matter the world, everyone goes there...the dead...and the Makai criminals. It's no fun to be a convicted criminal there. The stupid cellmates ALONE are enough to piss you off.
Of the three worlds, I prefer Makai. Theres ALWAYS an adventure and always something new to try...new legends to create. There...a man is free to lust and fight. If you don't like your neighbor, you kill him and take everything that is his.
The stronger you are, the less you have to worry. And of course the more fun you have. But, sometimes I need the break. Here in Ninjenkai, I stay with Kurama. Most of the time I just sleep and eat. Thouse a lot of times, Kurama and Yusuke will drag me out to experience new things...and laugh at me for it.
This world pleases Kurama. He's so content and calm. He's already a legend of many levels in Makai. However, this contentment may only last a lifetime. When Suiichi's body goes, Youko will emerge once again. What will he do then? Make more legends? Will he take a mate and settle? Another kitsune? Another demon all together? A human? Will having children in this lifetime alter who he becomes?
Youko is so free...but even a kitsune has rules. Like the animal, they mate for life...but before taking that plunge, they are free to play as they wish.
Hmmm, something we all have in common. Well...cept me. All live in single-parent homes. Mostly mothers. I never understood the whole parent thing. Yusuke hardly ever worried about HIS mother. Kurma is totally bound to his human mother. I wonder how I'd be if my mother was still alive. Would I be as devoted to her as I am to Yukina? Ah, these are things we'll never know.
*
All these mixed emotions
We keep locked away like stolen pearls
Stolen pearl devotions
We keep locked away from all the world
*
The rain began, thunder roaring loudly overhead. Kurama peeked out the window again. " Hiei...please...come inside now. You'll get all wet."
Hiei ignored his request...he wasn't done yet. He loved rain best...it was easier for him to hide...minus the getting all wet part.
##
Sometimes, it's hard to keep a secret. People think I'm cruel...not revealing my secret to my sister. Perhaps, I am. Perhaps not. I can imagine the image she has created if me. This strong but sweet demon. Perhaps she doesn't realize the danger of such an image.
She could do worse, I guess. I feel I'm a good brother...kinda. I love her...that's the most important thing. She's the only family I have and she's so caring and forgiving. It scares me sometimes. I feel a need to protect her shield her. I don't want her to be tarnished in any way.
In a way, that makes me feel selfish. I don't want her innocence robbed of her. But, while I evolve further...is it fair? A part of me really wants to see her worst temper. I want to know what she is capable of. Another part of me believes she is a helpless little girl. I want her to have the perfect world.
Kuwabara....of ALL people! WHY, Yukina?! A human....stupid...ugly...OH MY GOD...my nieces and nephews will be hald KUWABARA! NOOOO!
I wouldn't hve minded TOO much if it were Yusuke! Kurama....uhm...no. So NOT happening. Kurama and Yukina....that makes me nervous. Well, I GUESS Kuwabara is alright. He treats her good and he IS interested in her well-being. He understands tht she is innocent. I can't win....I just can't win.
Oh well...will they invite me to their wedding? Should I go? Could I cope with my baby twin sister becoming a married woman? Could I cope with having neices and nephews? Yes...no...maybe...oh I dunno.
*
All these mixed emotions
We keep locked away like stolen pearls
Stolen pearl devotions
We keep locked away from all the world
*
The smell was amazing. Hiei could hear Kurama talking to the guests. It sounded familiar. Not just the voices...but the experience.
##
Something about this reminds me of Muruko. Good woman...kinda. I swear she has a thing for me! Oh well...means she'll keep sucking up. Will I ever give in? Who the hell knows? I LIKE her...but I don't LOVE her. I respect her.
She held casual dinners sometimes. The chatter sounded a lot like this. Sometimes it could be louder when the guys got started. I'm not allowed to have alcohol so I'm not sure what it was all about.
##
A crash and broken glass pulled Hiei from his thoughts a moment.
" Oh no!" Kurama laughed.
" A bull in a china shop, Kuwabara!" Yusuke chimed in.
##
They sure sound like they're having fun. Don't even miss me I bet. Could care less.
##
" HIEI!" Yusuke's voice called. Hiei glanced down to see a wet Yusuke at the door, smiling up at him. " Hiei, get in here! Kuwabara has some cute Yukina stories!"
" BAKA! Kudaran!" Hiei shouted down. Yusuke began to laugh and ran back inside. Hiei smirked, sopping wet. He pulled an item from his pocket.
" I forgot about you."
A pearl...tear gem like the one about his neck...only black.
##
My tear...my pearl. Why have I kept this with me?
##
He stick it back in his pocket and hopped through the window.
" You better leave me some supper too!" He yelled down the stairs to the dinner guests.
END
