Just tell me what you've got to say to me
I've been waiting for so long to hear the truth
It comes as no surprise at all, you see
So cut the crap and tell me that we're through
*
Yukina stroked the dove perched on her hand. She wasn't smiling however. There was an argument that morning...and one the night before actually. It made her contimplate everything about herself...and how she was going to cope with it.
Kuwabara smiled at her. He had treated everyone to a special dinner. Yusuke and Kurama fought back the urge to laugh. Hiei eyed that lobster for ten whole minutes without blinking. He took his fork and poked it warily. It didn't look dead to him.
" The meat's inside, Hiei," Kurama whispered. Hiei nodded and began trying to crush the shell with his soda glass.
" No, Hiei. Like this." Kurama demonstrated on his own lobster. " See how easy?"
Hiei grumbled and tried to imitate Kurama's technique. Frustration led him to trying to use his teeth. Yukina giggled at him. She had a veggie plate. She saw those lobsters in the tank up front. How could she choose which one to kill? They were living creatures. She would have no part of it.
Kuwabara dinged his glass with a fork, " Attention please." All focused on him...except for Hiei who refused to lose a battle with a dead giant bug.
" Yukina-Chan, we've been close for a long time. I cherish the time we spend together..."
Hiei put the claw back in his mouth and began to gnaw again.
" You made things so clear to me. You made me strong and you were that special something that kept me going..."
Gnaw...gnaw...gnaw...
" Well, let me come to the point." He knelt down and held up a ring, " I love you, Yukina. Will you be my wife?"
CRUNCH!!!!
Kurama and Yusuke glanced at Hiei...shattered pieces of shell between his clenched teeth. The meat strunk out like a clothesline from his face. His eyes narrowed as he bore his fangs, growling deep in his throat. Kuwabara glanced at him...then Yusuke, who smiled. " Told ya he'd figure it out....took longer than I thought but he cracked it open."
Kuwabara returned to Yukina, " Whattaya say? Be my wife and bare me beautiful, strong sons?"
SHATTER!!!
Glass shattered to the floor, except for the pieces in Hiei's hand which made him bleed. Yukina began to cough. She eyed Hiei intensely.
=I can't chance it. It can't happen like that. How could I dangle it in front of him like that? It's cruel=
" No."
All eyes went wide.
" Yu...Yukina?"
" No. Why sons?"
" Or daughters! I don't care!"
" No. Koorime do not mate like that. It only causes pain and suffering. Because of such carelessness, my brother was cast away from members of my clan who wanted to love him. A careless father allowed him to be thrown from his family...and allowed him to grow up with no one to love him. I'm not going to chance it."
" But, it's not LIKE that, Yukina!" Kuwabara urged.
" STOP! Shut up!"
Silence.
Yukina eyed him impatiently. " I can't trust any man to be my mate. I've only wanted to be your friend. How could I revel in provacative joys when I know my brother may never have the same satisfaction? I could never torture him like that."
" Yukina," Hiei tried to stand to intervene.
" SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!!"
Down he went swiftly and obediently, wide-eyed.
" It's not FAIR!" She hissed. " Until it's proven that he has chosen a mate to love him forever, I will not take one either! We will be happy together or alone together. That is my choice for me...by me."
She stood up and stormed out.
" I did not just see that," Yusuke muttered.
" Everyone in the restaurant saw it," Kurama chimed in.
Hiei smiled a smug smile at Kuwabara, " Looks like she dumped you."
*
Now, I know your heart, I know your mind
You don't even know you're being unkind
So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways
Just use me up and then you walk away
Boy, you can't play me that way
*
" How could you embaress me like that?" Kuwabara demanded. " No compensation either."
" Compensation?" Yukina growled. How evil she looked, almost resembling Hiei. " You want compensation? You want up my skirt? Want me to cry back the money you're out?"
" Those sound nice. But, how about a REAL reason?"
" I don't love you, Kuwabara-Kun. You were my FRIEND! I stick to my conditions. I must see proof that my brother has chosen a mate before I choose one."
" You're brother could be anywhere! Or even dead!"
Yukina slapped him hard. " Then I will remain chaste if that is the case. He's alive, Kuwabara. I KNOW he is."
" Then I will find him and settle this. I love you and I want you."
Yukina let out a cruel laugh. " Hn, you wouldn't know him even if he staring you in the face. You're not that sharp!"
*
Well, I guess what you say is true
I could never be the right kind of girl for you
I could never be your woman
*
" Yukina," Kuwabara whined, " what happened to you?"
" Nani?"
" Where'd the Yukina I saved all those years ago?"
" You don't like me anymore?" Yukina arched a brow.
" I love you. But, I don't like who you are becoming."
Yukina became very aggitated, " I left the only home I ever knew...the only life...and ventured out to find my brother. I was then ripped from freedom and forced to be some prisoner to a horrible old man! I was then brought into this strange ningen world! You don't want me to ADAPT? I know what you want. You want sweet, poor, helpless, submissive, innocent, STUPID Yukina!"
" Nonononono!"
" YES! Let me tell you something, Kazuma! I'm tired of being walked on. I can't ever seem to be able to take care of myself. I'm always being cared for by someone else. For once *I* want to be the powerful one! I want to be the one admired and feared and respected for what I have, and not be looked down upon for being sweet little koorime. Perhaps I'm not the woman for you if you don't approve."
*
When I saw my best friend yesterday
She said she never liked you from the start
Well, me I wish that I could claim the same
But, you always knew you held my heart
*
" Are you feeling better?" Yukina asked gently.
" How'd you know where to find me?" Hiei asked. He didn't bother to face her. She was somehow able to track him to an old abandoned building. An old apartment building torn by fire. Still acceptable to Hiei...but obviously not to ningens. It was warm, dry and quiet. Very dark and private with a window ledge for him to see the city. A nice hiding place.
" I've become familiar with your personality."
" You're not the same, Yukina."
" He said that too." She lowered her gaze. It was offensive from Kuwabara. But, it was hurtful from Hiei. He turned his gaze from the window to look at her. " Why does it matter how I feel? Live your life as you like."
" I've known for a long time, Hiei-Chan."
" I see. Even so, don't let me and my thoughts interfere with what you want. Marry him if you want. I'll cope."
" You don't like him though."
" So? Is he what you want? All I want is for you to be happy, no matter how much I dislike the choices."
" This is what I want," Yukina replied. " He doesn't like you either. By insulting you, he insulted me. I would let him attack my brother like that."
" What makes you so sure I'm your brother?" Hiei asked. " You are a wonderful individual....ONE. Drop your brother search and worry about you."
Yukina slapped him across the face, silencing him. He gasped and held his breath. " Stop it right now!"
" Yukina?"
" Stop pretending! I have stopped searching because I FOUND him. I found YOU! Why can't you accept that?"
" Don't be so foolish!" He growled.
She grabbed him and pressed him against the scortched wall, placing a kiss on his lips. His eyes went wide and he couldn't fend her off.
" If you are not my brother than you are in love with me," She said plainly.
" Did I just grant a wish you've had about me since you rescued me from that horrible man?"
" Yukina?"
" I love my brother. I don't care who he is or what he's done. He is my brother. I forgive him. Life in the Makai is cruel and he did what he did to survive. He searched so hard for me...and I for him. He completed his search WHY won't he let me complete mine?! It's not FAIR!"
" Yukina," Hiei sighed, " I just can't admit that to you. I'm sorry."
" Then don't. But accept it. You want to pretend, then fine. But we both know the truth now." She grew a slow and very wicked smile, " Everyone knows."
" Not everyone."
" We won't tell him."
Hiei eyed her curiously. She had been fumbling with that chord for some time now. She approached him and rested her chin on his shoulder, fumbling with the chord. He could feel it. She had such a nice smell to her. Not so musky and guilty like himself. It was so hard to believe they had actually shared a womb together...so close...touching, brushing against eachother...WAIT
"Yukina?!"
"Shh!"
" What...wait...hooooold on a minute!"
" This is your game, Hiei-Chan. I'm just playing along."
" Are you feeling alright? You're acting crazy! You dunno what you're.."
He was silenced by a forceful kiss. He shut his eyes tight. This was NOT happening!
" You object now?" Yukina chuckled. " Perhaps I'm not as sweet and innocent as you thought I was. We are related after all and have our father's perverted blood running through our veins." She faked a shocked face,
" Oh, I have forgotten....we're pretending to not be related."
" You're...scaring me."
" Goooooood."
*
And you're such a charming, handsome man
And I think I finally understand
Is it in your genes? I don't know
But I'll sure find out, that's for sure
Why did you play me this way?
*
Hiei tried to back away from his crazy sister. Something had made her snap and it frightened him beyond comprehension. Yukina knew it and she seemed to love it...revel in it...want it. How ironic for courageous, intelligent Hiei to cower away and fall over a bedframe and onto an old dusty mattress. He'd been using it. She could pick up the scent from there.
She had the pradator in her...just as Hiei did. She may look like her mother moreso than he...but she retained just as much ferocity as he did. She lunged forward, pinning him down. The wrestle only made him more vulnerable, allowinf her to grab the chord and tie his hands together and to the head of the frame..the antique bed-head...much like tying him into the bars of his own cell. He trembled and breathed hard. If she had been any other living individual in any of the three worlds, he'd have destroyed her with no qualms. But, this was Yukina,....his sister...his twin....the one person he truley loved. In all the years he watched her...he'd never seen this predator.
" Yukina..."
"Shhh, we're still playing the game, Hiei-Chan," she grinned evilly. He gulped at the fangs as she pulled her kimono back over her shoulers and let it fall off and into a heap on his knees. She had straddled his thighs, eying him up and deciding how to play next.
"Don't make me hurt you, Yukina." He threatened with an empty tone.
" Hurt me? Would you? Would you hurt your...." she let out a chuckle.
" Tsk tsk, Hiei-Chan. Stop this distraction. We're in a game."
" Who are you and what have you done to Yukina?"
Yukina let out an amused laugh and removed the band from his jagan.
" For me? You shouldn't have. I am Yukina. Your jagan should prove that."
She pulled his shirt from him. It was already ripped from some fray he had done with Yusuke. Those two were always fighting for sport.
" Please...put your kimono back on."
Yukina's eyes went wide. " You...don't like what you see?"
Hiei turned bright red in the cheeks. No point in lying. The flushing face...his body twitched...some help IT was. Traitor.
" You're....very beautiful, Yukina. You grew up to be a lovely woman. But..."
" Shhh," she urged gently, running a finger down his chest. " You grew up very nice too, Hiei. Much better than I could have ever dreamed of."
" I'm...very uncomfortable...with this."
" I can see that," she said flatly. " Do you know what it's like to have no control over your situation, Hiei? To always do what other tell you. To let someone else decide what is best for you....to make you a prisoner in your own self? I do. I'm tired of being told what to do and how to do it. I want to make my own choices. I want to be evil a while...just like everyone else."
" You weren't meant to be evil, Yukina. I admired your innocence."
She rolled her eyes, " Pffft, you and everyone else. I'm tired of being walked on." She squeezed his face in her hands, giving him an evil look of impatience, " This is my turn....let it be wrong...let it be right...I don't care. I want to proove to you that I'm just as strong as you are. I can take care of myself."
" Prooven prooven prooven," Hiei trembled.
" No!"
Yukina leaned down and kissed his chest, sending a jolt of energy through him, making him gasp involentarily. She kissed his chest again...his abs, just at his navel. " You're not as soft as I am." She sighed into his belly.
" I've done some pretty straining activities," he said with a gulp. " Body comes with the torture."
" Interesting. I love it."
Hiei struggled, causing Yukina to frown. " Why are you pretending?"
" Make up your mind!" Hiei squealed, feeling her breasts rubbing up against his bare chest. She found it funny and began to giggle. Hiei's mind whirled.
" You may say you don't want it...don't like it...but you love it. You want me to go on."
" No...Yukina..."
" Shh, ignoring the predator in you, Hiei? Very unhealthy. Give in for a while...it feels so good to be bad."
" I'm not playing with you, Yukina," he tried to be firm. She laughed at him in reply. She undid his belts and slipped his pants from him, exposing him and admiring him.
" You look rather excited to me."
" Yukina, we shouldn't..."
" I know. That's what's making this so much fun. Don't be so nervous, Hiei-Chan. We spent nine months naked and cuddled together non-stop, remember?"
" That...was very diiiiiiifferent. We weren't mating..."
" We were so close, Hiei. I knew we couldn't be separated forever. It was like we were one. You were so warm then."
" Stop..."
" I remember it all. Mama's womb was so warm and safe....but you made me feel even safer. We were so close, always touching...how comforting...always feeling you there, feeling your movements, and you feeling mine as we sucked our thumbs and turned. How large our oh so tiny little world was then."
" Insane..."
" Do you know how long I've wanted that back, Hiei?"
" It crumbled after birth, Yukina. We can never have it back..."
" The womb, no. We can never have it back...but we can have that security...that warmth...that contact...that oneness again. I want that, Hiei."
" Yu..."
" STOP CALLING MY NAME LIKE THAT!!!"
He fell silent and kept his eyes on her face.His body had betrayed him. He wasn't about to let his animal instincts take in much more visually than her face...otherwise it too would betray him.
" Don't tell me you don't feel it when we're close, Hiei. Pressed chest to chest...body to body...you don't feel what we felt then?"
" It was different then."
" You love me?"
Hiei was silent a moment. He swallowed hard and choked out, " Yes."
" Really and truley?"
" So very much."
She smiled, allowing a tear gem to fall. She snuggled up against him and nuzzled him, beginning to kiss his neck.
" Yu...kina. Maybe...if you just....uhm..didn't do that."
" Shhh. Don't be a hypocrit."
" Eh?" He breathed out. Damn those animal instincts...they didn't care about relations or blood or anything. Stimulation was all they wanted.
" You told me earlier that you only wanted me to be happy with the choices I made, no matter how much you approve or dissapprove."
" I did....say that...but..."
" Can't I have you back? That would make me so happy. I love you too."
He shook his head, " I question your type of love, Yukina."
" What difference would it make?"
" It being..."
" Us."
" You can't fill that void, Yukina. I'm forever scarred."
" Then, fill mine."
She kissed him on the lips, gently rubbing her hands along his body. It made him swallow hard and release a throaty moan. It somehow turned off his mind for a moment, making him respond to her touch. He breathed heavily when released, unsure of what he did.
Yukina let go, leaving him cold from her absence. He knew it was no use to argue anymore. She wasn't listening. She was insane. He tried to blank out the event until he felt her upon his groin teasing him with the end of her tongue.
He tried to speak...but no words came out. She wouldn't have heard anyway. She took him and held him tight about his thigh and stroked his belly with her free hand firmly. He let out a very high-pitched yelp from the surprise. He tensed, trying to snap himself out of it. She just barely released him, glancing up so coyly with those dark eyes. They were so evil now...much like his own.
" Dammit," he squeaked inaudibly to himself, closing his eyes tight and resting his head back. He turned his mind off. He lost this fight. The tense feeling of objection was slowly draining from his body as she continued. It would have made him so angry if he had regained his composure...at himself...for actually aknowledging how skilled she was for being a virgin...untouched by man or woman. For aknowledging how good it felt..and that the animal inside him encouraged her. So grateful he couldn't consciously witness these thoughts. They felt right to the animal...and the animal was a master of sin...and coaxed his body into believing the purity of their act.
Hiei gave up, responding to her touch, stroking her side with his leg, since he could not use his hands. Yukina's ears believed they heard sweet music. He was calling for her and moaning from pleasure. She released him, making him arch forward in vain.
She eyed him up and down like some wolf eying up the sweet lonely lamb.
" Lamb," she whispered to herself.
"Uhn?"
" My lamb," she repeated in a whisper, kissing his jawline and his lips.
" Does...that...make you my...wolf?"
She giggled inward and kissed him all over his face and chest and neck. She must have had a long time to read and to daydream about such things. The romance novels Kuwabara's sister always lent her...the culprit. Bad....girls.
She straddled him again. He slowly opened his eyes and was too defeated to object. She had gotten his animal instincts...his body so riled...so well teased that he couldn't fight himself. She was wise in her attack. He would have had to admit her superiority if he were in his right mind...and able to look past the issue at hand.
He closed his eyes, feeling the wieght lower. Her low cries stung his ears. He attempted to squirm and struggle away, but again, he was caught. Yukina only forced herself to pick up the pace to keep him there. Once empaled upon him, he leaned forward, making him inhale deeply. She pulled at the chords, undoing them. How risky...but by now he was unable to take advantage of his freedom. Instead the animal made him rest them at his sides until the blood ran back...then around her waist
=What...am I...doing?= A small voice spoke in the back of his head. =Shh shut up....= Another of his voices replied...that evil animal inside him. =Just take a break...I'll take care of you...and her.=
" Nnn-" he muttered out, hoping for a "no" which was unsuccessful. He guided her, against his will, feeling the wave of pleasure and desire.
=Open your eyes!= He scolded himself. Yes, perhaps if he could see Yukina, he'd come back to his senses and stop this before it got any farther. She may be united with him, but she was still clean.
=Fool!= The animal voice laughed. =You are as blind as a corpse in a mud pit. Even your jagan is blind to this pleasure. Don't fight it. This is ALL YOUR FAULT!=
Damn what made it so strong. He attempted to sit up, but Yukina only took the opportunity to wrap her legs around him. Dammit! Her touch was so soft and so perfect. The torture made him moan. It made his muscles surge with some tickly feeling up his back and in his stomach. It caused him to let out a moan and hold her. Dammit! That wasn't what he wanted to do! Damn damn damn! =Damn temptress! If you weren't my sister I'd kill you!!!=
=Enough!= The animal scolded, clawing at the logic and taking over fully. It was as if they weren't related at all...and had been two wildly aroused adults who met by chance specifically for the relief. He had pushed her back and gave her the consequence of releasing the animal in him. To make it worse is she coaxed him! Called for him, yelled for him, ran her hands along his back and clawed at him, demanding to get serious, which only made him more merciless. HOW'D she ever get a handle on this?! Maybe he should start reading those damn romance novels, too?
She became impatient, pushing him back, " I will NOT be dominanted!!!" She declared to him. No arguments, so long as he could hold her to him. She was on top....fine by him. Whatever....made her happy.
Lost...gone....defeated. Both tensed, feeling the other's body reacting. Did she time that so perfectly? Was that something she had in mind? For them to climax together. Finished....slowly released and lying together in their own sweat and tear gems...aqua and black..shiney...and perfect. They lay there practically dead for a long moment. Both finally relieved to hear the other take in a long loud gasp of air.
*
Well I guess what you say is true
I could never spend my life with a man like you
I could never be your woman
*
" I'm sorry," Yukina forced through her lips. A tear fell from her eye, making a low thud on the mattress as it became a gem and clicking against one of Hiei's black ones. She sniffled. " I dunno what came over me."
" Hn. It took you all of that to realize you were acting nuts?" He replied simply. Sure, he dissapproved on it all. But, nothing he could do about it now. At least that predator was out of her system...and he hoped it would be gone for several hundered more years.
" Hiei...."
" It's alright."
" Are you angry with me?"
" I was."
" Was?"
" I suppose it couldn't be helped. I'm more angry at myself...for not stopping you."
" I'm so sorry. I feel so...cheap."
" Hn."
" Hiei?"
" You're not cheap. You just...had a little breakdown is all. Too much going on in so short a period of time in the life of a demon. Too much...you found it overwhelming and your brain took the day off."
" Has it ever happened to you?"
" Yes."
" When? When was it? Please tell me."
Hiei let out a chuckle and stroked her sweaty aqua hair, " Well, I'd say....a little while ago...when you tried to take me down.....and succeeded."
She closed her eyes so she couldn't see him. He took her chin in his hand and kissed the corner of her mouth.
" I forgive you."
She peered into his eyes.
" I should be asking for forgiveness from you..."
" I already told you...I don't care who my brother is...or what he's done. I love him...and...I forgive him."
" You're a tough nut to crack, y'know that, Yukina?"
" Something we have in common, Hiei. Perhaps it's something we get from our father." She let out a loud sigh, " Despite what happened, this is actually sort of nice."
" Hn."
" So quiet...warm...safe....like Mama's womb."
" Have you changed your mind?"
" About?"
" Kuwabara."
" You don't like him."
" I know. He doesn't like me either, but that's never stopped us before."
" No."
" No?"
" I can't. I don't see him like that. He's my friend....that's it. I stay firmly behind my promise."
" You want me to take a mate first?"
" Yes. I don't care if it's a man or a woman...as long as you have a mate that makes you happy. Only then will I take one."
" Is this what it feels like to have someone worry over you?" Hiei laughed. Yukina joined in and kissed his forehead...on the slit of his closed jagan.
" What if I can't find a mate, Yukina?" Hiei said after a long silence. " I find it very hard to love. If you fall in love, Yukina, don't wait for me. Your happiness should always come before mine."
" That's sweet," she remarked. " But, I'm stubborn too. You first. If you can't find one...I won't take one. Happy together, or alone together. We're a pair, you and I. Always were. Exactly the same and yet exact opposites. How perfect are we."
" You're beginning to scare me again," he chuckled.
"I wasn't kidding...you grew up very nice. You're a very lovely young man."
" You're a very lovely young woman. I suppose we are one after all."
*
Well I guess what you say is true
I could never spend my life with a man like you
I could never be your woman
*
" I love you," Yukina whispered.
"Hn, I love you too." The words spilled from Hiei without effort. Why not. Admitting he loved her was nothing compaired to what had happened.
She sat up and sighed. She rubbed her arms. A breeze had come in and was creeping in through the open sliding door to the balcony. Her kimono had fallen to the floor in the fray. Hiei smiled at her. He didn't look at her with perversion. He saw what he had hoped...his sister...his twin. He got up and wrapped a blanket about himself and then settled behind her, wrapping it about her with his arms. She nestled back against him, closing her eyes and sliding with him until they lay as spoons on the mattress...tear gems pushed off the mattress for comfort.
" Hiei-Chan, maybe I should go home. I know you prefer your solitude. I don't want to bother you anymore."
" You're no bother to me," he said, not even opening his eyes. He hugged her body against his. Memories flooded like a movie on the back of his eyelids. Yes, he remembered it. With some adjusting to their position, they were entangled and close as they had been.
" It was like this, wasn't it, Yukina. Inside Mom."
" Mmmhmm," she smiled, feeling sleep covering her. " Just like this."
He smiled and nuzzled himself against her until he was comfortable, " Then, let's stay like this. You liked it then..."
" I loved those days best, Hiei."
" Just like we were then....entangled in the fetal position, unclothed and warm within safe walls."
"All that's missing...." Yukina hummed, " Is Mama's heartbeat."
" Mmmhmm. I'm sure she knows how everything is. We were close when she concieved us...carried us.....look at us...all grown up...and it's almost, in this moment, as if nothing had ever changed."
" I wish we could stay like this forever," she sighed.
" Hn."
Yukina was first to fall asleep. Hiei fought with sleep for a while, trying to think very deeply about things. Yukina was lovely. She was resourceful and intelligent and courageous in her own rite. She was strong and she was powerful. He chuckled mentally to himself. Had she not been his sister, he'd have asked for her hand then and there. He never loved anyone the way he loved her...though he assured himself that, despite that mental crisis between them, it was brotherly love...over his sister. Another thought made him laugh mentally. Morals decreed she could never be the woman to have as his mate...he accepted that just fine...But whomever she chose...if she ever did...that was surely one lucky person..and he envied them.
END
For the month of March 2003.
