2 entries from last month i had in my other journal that i wanted to include here:
sept 22
~cat magick~
i had to do a cat spell. a horrible thing happened her in my area- one of the towns here. a woman didnt want her kitten and threw it out of her moving car under another car. a car behind her stopped and rescued the cat, but she died. its horrible. i called on bastet to do justice for this cat.
i also had another meditation. this time i took a ritual bath. i burned a purple candle annointed with black rose oil. i was going to mediate and meet morgana le fay/ goddess morrigan. to speak with her. i went to my place, the black forest. and when i got there she was so excited to see me and said she had been waiting for me. she had ravens flying around everywhere. then i saw black cats again. she told me bastet too was a dark goddess (which from some things i have read, she is) and that she was there too. we talked for a while. they told me they had chosen me. a lot of times goddesses do choose us, and they both have chosen me. they took me to a black river where they had me bathe. when i came out i felt like i was dying- but i see now i was being reborn and it was like coming out of death. they showed me darkness and told me now i had darkness in me. (not evil darkness- but the beautiful darkness that exists as the light exists.). morgana gave me a raven and told me that she was my familiar in this world (astral plane as it is called) and that my cats were my familiars in life. i spoke with them a while more and they told me i was to choose my ravens name, that it didnt have one. and i am quite sure it was female. the raven was very friendly, letting me pet her all i wanted. and then i hugged them, the cats licked my knees heheheh and then i left.
i think i know what the ravens name should be. morgan. thats perfect! her name is morgan.
sept 20
~full moon ritual~
i had a wonderful full moon ritual tonight. and i learned a lot. the goddess and i had a long conversation. it was wonderful. one of the amazing experiences of my life. so much happened. she told me so much. and showed me so much. it was so wonderful. amazing! i used my full moon kit from wind sprites realm. i annointed myself with the moon oil. used the moon goddess ointment on my forhead. used the white candle. and before it i had a wonderful bath with the moon goddess bath salts. and i used the sea salt to cleanse the circle. it was wonderful. i have to write down some stuff in my book of shadows. the things she showed me. so i will never forget. usually during ritual i speak to the goddess and the god. more the goddess because i associate with her more, but they are both always there. i have a special place that i go to. normally its an autumn forest. now its become an autumn night forest. the images evolve on their own. its the astral plane i travel to. feelings come over me and things happen that i cant explain. at first i was dancing in the night forest. the goddess and god were there with me. and suddenly the forest was filled with cats running and dancing everywhere. then ravens flew over head and stayed in the trees as we danced. then i held the candle in my hand. and i felt the goddess suddenly next to me in the circle taking my hand, and speaking with me. then we were in the night forest again, just me and her. and the cats appeared again. this time sitting and watching us. i mean a fuckin forest full of cats. mostly black. and i could see all their wonderful eyes shining. i asked about them and she told me they were mine. and that i was a cat goddess. i asked about the ravens and she said they were morrigan's watching over me. she told me she was my mother, the sun god my father. but morrigan and bastet were my guides. and that she ruled my heart and they my mind. and she told me to feel her love and suddenly my heart got really hot inside. it was amazing. i wasnt hot at all on the outside, but on the inside i got a wonderful hot fuzziness. then we spoke more. she told me i was her night child. and the she left and the cats all looked at me and then came to me nuzzling me and i fell to the ground laughing as they all came to me. then ckaldean came into the circle. i had heard him meowing but he left me alone till i was done talking with the goddess and he came into the circle wanting attention. what a sweet heart. then isis came along and i think she could see the circle. she paused right outside it then came in and looked around. and then i took down the circle and blew out the candles and incense. it was a wonderful ritual. i had been doing mini rituals lately but i did a full ritual (full for me- being solitary) and it was great. i am glad i did it. later this week i have to do a mabon ritual. thursday night. i am looking forward to it. :)