A response to the Britney Songfic Challenge organized by Carleen. My song was I'll Never Stop Loving You.
Thanks to MusicDiamond for the read through and comma action.

Three stops into the tour and she's homesick already. And it's not like she hasn't done this for years and then MMC before, but her momma and sister are home in Louisiana and she's stuck with five boys she feels like she hardly knows. Even JC and Justin are more like strangers now; they've changed so much. Justin's taller than her now and it's stupid, she thinks, but she wonders if he still kisses in the same awkward way. After the concert she watches him flirt with all the girls and decides he doesn't. She starts moving towards her bus but a hand at her wrist stops her. She turns and Lance is standing there, his eyes shining from the floodlights. "We're in town tonight," he says and shifts his feet. "You should ride with us to the hotel."

She nods and lets herself be pulled onto the bus mostly because Lance's voice reminds her of long, slow summer evenings and sipping homemade iced tea on the porch. None of the others bats an eye when she gets on and it's nice, she thinks, to be included without fanfare, like maybe she's one of them after all. Chris and Justin are spread out on the floor already involved in some video game while JC doesn't even fight to keep his eyes open as he lounges on one of the couches. She doesn't see Joey but she can hear him singing somewhere. Lance sits on the couch across from JC and pulls her down until she's tucked under his arm, her head against his chest.

The steady in and out of his breath is comforting but she doesn't want to fall asleep because it's only twenty minutes to the hotel and she'll just have to wake up again. Instead she shifts so she can look up at Lance. His head is tilted back and a soft smile breaks on his face when she tickles at his side. "What're you thinking about?" she asks.

"Home."

She asks him to tell her about it so he does. He talks about magnolia blossoms with petals the color of unmilled cotton, the air heavy and thick with their perfume. About pinching the stems of honeysuckle, pulling the flower apart to find that one-drop of sweetness and how it's enough to coat your tongue for days. He tells her about being ten and running barefoot across his neighbor's lawn, chasing after Stacy because she up and took off with the bucket of blueberries.

Twenty minutes turn into an hour but she only notices because Justin looses interest in his game and wanders over to the couch, fitting himself against her side. He asks what they're talking about and when Lance says home Justin starts talking about Orlando and how the team is doing. She doesn't mean to laugh but she does and then she's on the floor, long fingers seeking and finding ticklish skin.

"Mercy!" she shouts. When the hands stop she's on her back, looking up into to Justin's face. "Mercy," she says again, her accent heavy on her tongue. And then, when Justin smiles, her breath catches.

Justin's head whips forward and she can see Chris standing over them both for just a second before he turns and runs. Justin jumps up to follow and it's probably for the best because at least now she can breathe again. She rolls to her side and grins up at Lance who's watching her with wide eyes. His mouth is turned down and he looks like he's about to say something so she moves fast, straddling his lap, her fingers moving until they both collapse into laughter.

--

Lance leans over and says, "He likes you. Like that."

She can feel the blush creep up her throat and thank god for club lighting. Lance grins and pushes her out of the booth towards the dance floor and just glares when she turns to try and sit back down. Justin is moving between two girls so she makes her way across the floor, until she finds a partner that doesn't make her heart flip. JC grins when she presses against him and kisses her forehead. He puts his hands on her hips and moves her body with his, never looking away from where Chris is leaned up against the bar.

The second pair of hands on her waist doesn't really surprise her, the fact that they're familiar does. She leans into the chest pressed against her back and looks up at Justin's face. He's smiling and when JC's hands drop away he takes control of her motion. It all feels very sudden, like they haven't been dancing around each other since the beginning of the tour and so she asks him if Lance put him up to it.

He nods and turns her around, holding her tight when she starts to pull away and says, "Not like that. He didn't. I mean. He just pointed out that I've been kind of an ass."

"He was right."

"He usually is."

They spin and when Britney can see around Justin's shoulder Lance is just sitting there smiling at them and she wonders how it ended up that her very best girlfriend is a boy with too blond hair and more hips than her.

In the limo on the way back to the hotel she leans against Lance and whispers, "Thank you."

He smiles and tells her he's happy that she's happy. He picks up her hand and makes her promise to tell him whenever he's being a third wheel because they're still the three babies but it's different now and he doesn't want to get in the way. She works her fingers in between his, squeezing their hands together when she tells him he'll never be in the way.

Later, when her lips are kissed raw and her back is sore from being pushed against the door of Justin's hotel room, she curls up with her head on Lance's thigh as he watches TV and thinks she's quite possibly the luckiest girl alive.

--

It's hot and they sweat together under the covers but that's not what wakes her up. It's because Justin mumbles and turns over, until they're no longer touching, and buries his head in the pillow. Without his body to hold up hers she rolls to her back, her eyes blinking open but not seeing anything because of the dark. She sniffs and rubs at her eyes. She aches, like after the first rehearsal coming back from a break, not really painful, just her body adjusting. She wants to put her hand down there, to feel if it's different; wants to know if she's as stretched and raw as she feels. Justin snuffles, curling into himself, causing the sheet to slip and reveal the long, pale plane of his back. She rolls towards him and inhales sharply. It hurts more than she thought. But then she's settled, her forehead pressed to his back and her body curled in on itself, and it's nothing more than a dull ache again, beating the same rhythm as her heart.

She wasn't his first, she knows, but he was hers. She wants to ask him if it felt like this when he lost it but she doesn't want to think about him with anyone else.

He's gone when she wakes up and she knows he had a press thing at seven but still it feels wrong. She's out all day and by the time she gets back she barely has time to say hi before he's leaving again. He goes out with Chris and JC and not her because they're not dating. Not allowed to say they're dating, anyway.

She pulls on sleep pants and a sweatshirt and carries her pillow down the hall. Lance grins when he opens the door, reaching out to pull her inside. They collapse together on the couch and he hands over the remote. She flips through the channels finally settling on a movie. Something with Sandra Bullock and Bill something, Paxton or Pullman, she can never keep the two straight.

They both laugh when Lucy slips on the ice and it's then that Lance finally asks what's wrong. She shrugs and tries to focus on the way Lance's fingers feel carding through her hair, tries not to feel abandoned. He's quiet for another minute before he clears his throat and says, "You and Justin. You. Did you?"

She curls her body up even more on the couch, her knees against Lance's thighs, and presses her head hard into his shoulder as she nods. He stops playing with her hair and wraps both arms around her, hugging her tight to his chest. "You okay?"

She doesn't answer but just asks him if he felt different after "you know?" And when he blushes and tells her he's never, that he's waiting for the right person, she doesn't know what to say. He tries to stand, stammering about drinks and food, but she catches his wrist in her hand and pulls him back down almost on top of her. She throws her legs over his, trapping him and cups his cheeks to turn his face to hers as she smiles. It's sweet she tells him and means it. His mouth quirks into a grin, his arms tightening around her waist, when she kisses him on the nose and she tries not to think that maybe she should have waited, too.

It's well after midnight and the movie long over by the time the guys get back. She's still half asleep when she hears Justin's voice asking, "You trying to steal my woman, Bass?" She feels more than hears Lance chuckle and then he's shifting under her as long arms scoop her up. Justin smells of sweat and cologne when she presses her face to his neck.

"Say goodnight, baby."

"Night, Lance, love you," she murmurs.

"Love you, too," he says and it's the last thing she hears before falling back into sleep.

--

It's a double date and awkward doesn't even really begin to cover it. She doesn't dislike Danielle; she just doesn't really like her either. But Lance seems to and she's been groomed to make pleasant small talk so that's what she does.

After dinner and before dessert she and Danielle go to the bathroom and, after washing her hands, Danielle asks how she and Justin do it, this distance thing. Britney rubs her hands together under the dryer and says, "It's harder now, you know, now that we're not touring together but we manage. He comes out when he can and even when he can't Lance calls me like everyday for an update."

"Lance?" Danielle plays with the pendant around her neck, her fingers fluttering against her throat.

Britney nods and giggles as she fixes her lipstick. "The boy's such a talker, loves to gossip." She caps the little tube of pearlescent pink, dropping it into her purse as she smiles at Danielle. "But you probably knew that already. Being his girlfriend and all."

Danielle nods but her lips are turned down, her fingers pulling at the pendant until the chain digs into pale skin.

--

When Lance calls to say it didn't work out, the thing with Danielle, she's not at all surprised. She wasn't really his type. They make plans and the next time Lance is in town they go shopping, to lunch and finally back to her place where they curl up on the bed and watch old movies about falling in and out of love and how if it's true it lasts a lifetime. She strokes her hand through the short spikes of his hair and thinks it's better this way. He deserves better.

--

They're on again and off again. On during awards season because they have to be and the rest of the time because they're in love. Off because there's often a country between them and it's easy to believe when people shake their heads and say too young like it's a disease.

So they're off again but still her heart flutters when he calls. Every time he calls. They talk and it always surprises her, how easy it is to fall back into the old rhythms. He asks if she's going to be at the party, if she's going with anyone. She says yes and no and yes again when he asks if maybe she wants to go with him.

She calls Lance to tell him and ignores the way his voice strains when he says oh and good and happy for you. She doesn't think about how he always sounds happier when they're off again. When she asks if he's going to meet Eric there he sighs and tells her they broke up months ago and she's sure she must've known that but can't remember him ever saying it. He laughs without humor and says, "Actually. Actually I was going to ask you. You know. If you weren't. But. Looks like I'm third wheel bound again."

"Oh, honey," she coos. "You know you can be my third wheel anytime."

He chuckles and the connection makes it sound harsh and brittle.

She ends up taking a limo there with both of them, Justin's thumb stroking over her palm while Lance stares out the window. The party is boring but it's good, she thinks, because maybe this is the start of another on again period. Maybe this time it will last. She drinks more than she should and instead of being by his side, she watches Justin across the crowded room, talking up person after person. It's not until Lance slides up next to her and she rests her hand on his arm that Justin starts making his way back.

Lance's eyes widen when he looks over her shoulder and then he's pulling on her wrist, spinning her to face him. Lance wraps his fingers around her neck and pulls her into a kiss. He licks at her lips and she giggles and pretends that it's nothing more than friendly when she opens her mouth to his. He pulls back, his thumb rubbing across the skin of her cheek, his eyes darting over her shoulder and back to her face, and says, "I love you."

She can taste his drink on her lips and feel Justin's eyes on them both, so she steps back far enough that his hands fall away. She grins and touches his nose with one finger and says, "Love you too." It's not a lie, not really. Then Justin is catching her small hand in his and so she smiles at Lance and lets herself be led away.

Tomorrow, after Justin is gone for whatever interview is next in line, she'll call Lance. They'll have lunch later in the week and laugh at the laundry room disaster Christina deemed to call an outfit. He'll tell her about this girl that he's just met and Britney'll sip at her drink and screw up her nose just a little when he says her name. When they get up to leave and Lance leans over, pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek, she'll know that she should love him more than she does. She'll tell herself that it's okay, that this is the way it is because she's never known how to not love Justin. It's something she's never learned. And when she sees Lance smile, just the very corners of his mouth turning up, a promise if only she would take it, she'll know she never will.

end