aSS chEEsE

1. ok hotshot, so what the hell *is asscheese? well it's good that you ask this. this is the first step for you to achieve enlightment. ok this is asscheese in the most technical sense. do you know when you go to the bathroom that there is that *chance you didnt wipe good enough? you dont realize this until later and think "damn i gotta get rid of this!" and you go back to the potty and wipe better?? the stuff from the second wipe is asscheese, not the first wipe.

2. does this happen to everyone? dont even begin to deny it....

3. you bastard this never happened to me!! i checked your wash. you never went back for the second wipe, i saw it in your pants still.

4. what can i do to prevent asscheese? use lots and lots of toliet paper. you can never use enough. i go through a roll a day to prevent this. i advise you to do the same

5. why do they call jess asscheese? isnt that offensive or something? jess thought the name ass cheese was rather interesting. it started some crazy night when she made a custom dog tag at walmart which read "ass cheese" it sort of grew into a name. she is honored with such high distinction.

6. what is the normal hue for ass cheese? it should be a color relevant to your last bowel movement. a nice healthy brown in most cases. however if your not feeling up to par, a greenish tint or blackish cast may be present. if its red you may have severe hemorhaging or maybe its not ass cheese at all and your just stupid.