Thursday, October 27    

What do you say?
Well, I don't care what you say. It's what Squidgy Says that matters. Now, you know I like to mock celebrities because my life is small and insignificant and I glory in other's mistakes. But my mockery is usually just stupid and petty, like, "Damn, bitch is homely in that outfit!" or completely incoherent, like, "Now she would stop a stone fence." Squidgy is much, much funnier. And she picks on my least favorite star, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and the hideous flower adorning her dress: "Was that, like, her prize for putting up with Melanie Griffith's distracting and drunken wanderings around the set of Zorro? Or maybe it's the all-purpose accessory Michael Douglas uses to plant that homing device on her whenever she leaves the house?"

She also answers the all-important questions: How to Dress for a Premiere/Psychotic Break with Reality and who won the Underage Dominatrix Aviator category in the Miss Russian Teen pageant.

  posted @ 7:35 PM |