The Characters.

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The Characters.

Name: Barbara King
Zodiac Sign: Saggitarius
Occupation: College Student
Special Talent: Can drink milk and shoot it out of her ears.

Barbara is... well, Barbara. If you saw someone with a tan trenchcoat, magnifing glass, and the fake glasses/nose/mustashe combo conspicuously spying at you from behind some bushes, it would probably be her. She's weird, rambunctious, curious yet cowardly, ocassionally overbearing, but through it all maintains her humorous, upbeat attitude. Despite all the oddball quirks, her friends can't help but find her very endearing.

Name: Kalisa Rivera
Zodiac Sign: Gemini
Occupation: Daredevil/con artist
Special Talent: Unfaltering luck and a total absence of fear.

Kalisa's goal in life is to avoid boredom, and this drives her to jump headfirst into any death-defying stunt she can think of. She is most proud of riding down Niagra Falls in a rowboat she constructed out of a coffin. Kalisa firmly believes any problem (i.e. hunger, flesh wounds, other people) that is ignored long enough will disappear on its own. When she isn't busy causing disturbances and dragging her friends into the ensuing chaos, Kalisa enjoys playing with her many pets and random childrens' toys.

Name: Tim Rowland
Zodiac Sign: Aries
Occupation: College Student
Special Talent: Getting people to believe his tall tales, even if they involve celebrities or aliens.

Tim is an expert storyteller or a blatent liar, depending on who you ask. He got his unusual haircut from a drunken homeless man. Tim loves being the center of attention, making noise, and participanting in mayham that often results in irreparable propery damage. He despises Hunter and, on more than one occasion, has convinced himself that Hunter is a vampire.

Name: Hunter Kelley
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
Occupation: English professor, butcher, owner of a dessert shop.
Special Talent: Being able to look bored and irritated at the same time.

Hunter is the normal one, or so it would seem. He's actually quite neurotic; he obsesses about how his furniture is arranged and it takes him hours to pick out and buy a decent pair of pants. He has feelings for Kalisa, who is usually too preoccupied to notice. One of Hunter's few quirks is his unusual attachment to chocolate cake, which he eats in unnatual amounts when extremely delighted or depressed.

Name: Apollo Guy McDullen
Zodiac Sign: Taurus
Occupation: Professional bum.
Special Talent: Being able to drink Tonic.

Guy is a freeloading bum. His favorite drink is Tonic, an alcoholic drink that's so strong most people who drink it die. Guy's mission in life is to get by doing as little as is necessary; surprisingly, unlike most lazy people, he is actually clever enough to pull it off. He pays his bills by being somewhat of a personal assistant to Hunter, although he spends more time finishing up triple-decked sandwhiches than assignments.

Name: Woobie
Occupation: Barbara's bear.
Hobbies: Dabbling in the black arts.
Special Talent: Ocassional ability to persuade Barbara to be destructive.

Walter O. Bear, or "Woobie" to Barbara and her friends, was bought by Barbara's parents. He was in the discount bin because his tag warned he had evil tendencies, but Barb's parents were too stoned to notice. Woobie tries to use Barbara as an evil assistant, but her lack of an attention span makes that nearly impossible. Woobie is missing an eye because a young, sugar-crazed Barbara bit it off.

Name: Dave
Catch phrase: "Holy hell!"
Occupation: Barbara's bird
Special Talent: Not dying due to Barbara's rough handling.

Dave met young Barbara when she accidentally destroyed his nest. Unfortunately for him, he swallowed an explosive microchip that Woobie hid in his bird seed. After refusing to do Woobie's evil bidding, Woobie gave Dave two options: become Barbara's pet or explode. Dave chose to be Barb's pet, although now he sometimes regrets his choice.