*Cupid, looking a little tired, enters the House of Love* *Strife is sprawled comfortably on a couch, watching television and eating a variety of snack foods*

Cupid said, "I thought that Zeus had decreed that you weren't to watch the idiot box anymore, since he was tired of trying to keep up with anachronistic cultural references."

Strife ate a bite of Frito pie. "Yah. So?"

"Good point." Cupid flopped down beside him. "Whatcha watching?"

"Tha Sentinel."

Cupid looked interested. "Oo, that's the one with several different flavors of hot guys, right?"

Strife snorted. "One of 'em. Scribe recommended it ta me. She's a fuckin bloodhound when it comes ta sniffin out subtext. In fact," he consulted a list, "next up on tha viewin schedule is somethin called Navy NCIS..."

"Not CSI?"

"Naw, that's tha one with tha blonde guy with hair even cooler than mine. That, an' somethin called Crossin Jordan. Anyways, she recced Tha Sentinel cause she claims that both tha lead characters must belong ta me. I'm startin ta agree. I ain't nevah seen any two individuals get caught in so much shit in my life--not even Herc and Iolaus, or Xena and Gabby. I mean, tha Freaky Foursome travel around lookin fah shit. Shit just sorta gravitates toward Jim an' Blair. Whoops!" Strife cackled. "Ellison dropped his gun again! Sucker oughta superglue it to his palm. In fact..."

Strife suddenly sat bolt upright, eyes going wide in shock and horror. His bowl went flying. "Ew, Strife!" complained Cupid. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get chili stains off white feathers?"

Strife gave him a beseeching look. "I din't do it! You're my witness, Cupe. I been sittin right here. I ain't been anywhere near tha mortal realm."

"Didn't do what?"

"I swear on my baby's head I had nothin ta do with this one."

"Strife, you're scaring me. What's up?"

He swallowed hard. "Scribe broke anotha bone."

"What?"

"It wasn't me!"

Cupid took a deep breath. "I believe you, babe, but I'm not sure anyone else will."

*Flash* *bonk* "She has about three dozen works in progress, and you break her arm?" *bonk* *Flash*

Cupid blinked. "What was that?"

Strife was rubbing his head. "A pissed off Muse. I'm afraid that's just tha beginnin."

*bangbangbang* A voice called, "Police, open up!"

Strife gaped. "I beg yer fuckin pardon?"

Another voice called, "Jim, man, this is a little out of our jurisdiction, huh?"

"Like I give a flying fuck at a rolling donut, Blair." *pause* "Donuts..."

"Don't zone, Jim. Think of Scribe."

"Right. Open up, Strife. You and me are going to have a serious discussion about how you choose your targets."

"Better do it, man. He's in Blessed Protector mode, and the longer the ass-kicking is delayed, the worse it will be. Jim, why don't we send in the spirit animals? Midnight can hold him down, and Lobo can pee on him. Where that wolf pees, no grass grows."

Strife grabbed Cupid. "Run interference, babe. Tha only way I'm gonna survive this is ta find out who really did it an' turn 'em ovah ta tha posse."

"What posse?"

*brrrzzzzzapt* Bliss came in, wide-eyed. "Daddy Stwife, I think that boy in the bathin' room wants you."

"What makes ya say that, kiddo?" asked Strife.

"Well, he said so, an' when I asked him what was the name of that funny thing he crawled out of was, an' he said it was his ARSE."

"Shit! Now Scott Evil is aftah me, an' he has access ta all of his dad's weird ass weapons."

Bliss said, "Maybe Unca 'Sidon is mad, too. There's big ol' mutated sea bass in the bathin' pool now."

Strife groaned. "It has begun. I'm outta here."

*Flash*

*bangbangbang* "Open up!"

"Jim, put down the gun. You know damn good and well that one of three things will happen--it'll jam, you'll shoot me, or you'll drop the gun."

Cupid sighed, taking Bliss' hand. "Come on, hon. Let's go get Imp."

"Okay," said Bliss agreeably as they started toward his sister's room. "Why?"

"Because these are Scribe's versions of Ellison and Sandburg, which means they're kid sensitive. They'll be less inclined to tear Daddy Strife limb-from-limb with a couple of cherubs present. I hope."