"Oh, for goodness sake, open the door, already!" someone called from inside the House of Love.

Ellison and Sandburg exchanged looks. "Jim? You did try the door before you started banging on it and screaming, right?"

"Um... Well... I'm pretty sure I did."

"Jim..."

"Gimme a break, Blair. I'm a little distracted here." Jim tried the handle on the door. It swung open easily. "All right! I'm coming..."

"I have kids in here. If you come in with a drawn gun, you'll leave with it holstered somewhere very personal and uncomfortable," warned the voice from inside.

"I'd listen," Blair advised. "I mean, most of the people up here are sort of divinities, and as bad-ass as you are, it's hard to complete with the sparkly-power thing."

"Fine." Jim holstered his gun (after dropping it, then picking it up). They entered.

An exceedingly fine looking blonde man, wearing a sort of kilt, had an equally blonde little boy standing beside him, and a girl toddler hanging onto the hem of the kilt, thumb tucked neatly in her mouth. The man said, "I'm Cupid," he indicated the children, "and these are my kids--Bliss and Impetua. I take it you're looking for my husband?"

"Huh?"

Jim looked at Blair, puzzled. If his Guide had been reduced to 'huh', it was a noteworthy occasion. Blair was staring at the man, mouth hanging a little open. Jim looked from Blair, to Cupid, to Blair, to Cupid, to Blair... His teeth gritted, and he felt a different sort of anger begin bubbling up.

The little girl, looking far too sly for someone of her age, giggled sweetly. Cupid looked down at her and scolded, "Imp! Stop that right now! We have enough trouble as it is without you exercising your godhood." The little girl pouted, poking out her bottom lip, but Jim felt the new irritation begin to fade. "Sorry about that. She's learning that she can incite jealousy, and since for her it's like a combination of eating chocolate and being tickled, she does it more than she's supposed to."

Now it was Jim's turn. "Huh?"

Cupid sighed. "I guess I should have done full introductions. I'm Cupid, God of Romantic Love. This is my son, Bliss--God of Innocent Joy, and this little hellion is my daughter Impetua--Goddess of Jealousy and Envy. I'm afraid she takes after her birth daddy some times. You were just directed in a bit of, I am sure, undeserved jealousy." Jim looked doubtful. "Trust me--I'm the one who set you guys up. Blair, why were you staring at me?"

"I've just never seen a guy wearing so many white feathers unless it was a drag queen with a feather boa," said Blair, "and what with the wings, I'm beginning to believe I need to watch Dogma again."

"Okay, I know that you're here because you think that Strife had something to do with Scribe's latest accident," said Cupid briskly. "Shame on you for jumping to conclusions."

Jim blushed. "Given past history..."

"Given past history, specifically as to dating, both of you should be chasing the nearest nymph right now," Cupid pointed out. "And yeah, a lot of the time Strife is responsible for some of the nastier acts of Fate. But he isn't responsible for all of it--not consciously. For goodness sake, don't you people have a saying on a bumper sticker that covers this?"

"Shit happens," said Blair.

Bliss covered his mouth, giggling. "Daddy Stwife says that a lot. Specially when he changes Imp's diapers." Imp swatted at him. "Oh, huh, Imp. I know you useta make sure you'd tinkle an' poop at diff'rent times soes they'd hafta change you twice."

The little girl giggled, twisting back and forth coyly. Cupid shook his head. "Strife couldn't deny her even if he wanted to. Anyway, Strife was nowhere near the mortal realm when the accident happened. I checked his power signature, which doesn't lie. And believe me, after that hip incident, I'm not about to let him get away with something like this. He took off to do his own investigation, so if you really want to be helpful, you'll go back and pitch in. The sooner whoever did this is caught--the better." Cupid cracked his knuckles. "Someone screws with Scribe, they screw with the lives of a whole lot of people who can make their lives very miserable--starting with me. Their love life will resemble that of a ninety-year old hunchback with a case of bad-breath and BO, but me and Mom will make sure their libido is still going like that of a sailor on leave who has stumbled on a cache of Viagra. And when I'm through with them, Ares would probably like a turn. After all, Scribe just got Joxer through the birth of their first child, and she hasn't written them any post-baby sex yet."

"Glad to hear it," said Jim. "We'll go back and see what we can do to help."

They shook hands. As Jim and Cupid shook, Impetua stared at Blair, green and gold flecks seeming to swirl in her eyes. As they walked away Blair started whispering to Jim, and Cupid heard Jim, exasperated, saying, "No, he didn't shake hands way longer than he needed to."

Cupid rolled his eyes. "Imp!"

*giggle*