Joxer lifted an eyebrow. "You'd have preferred roars of rage and thunderbolts?"

Ares shrugged. "I was all wound up to fight for you, and now I have all this extra energy built up. I need to go have a squirmish or something to work it off. Maybe I can get Strife to spar with me. Whipping his ass always relaxes me."

Joxer frowned. "That's not very nice, Ares."

Ares cocked an eyebrow. "Joxer, this is Strife, I'm talking about, okay? It isn't as if he doesn't expect it."

Joxer folded his arms. "I'm sure that some primative tribes say the same things about their human sacrifices. Just because something has always been one way, that doesn't mean it's right."

Ares rolled his eyes. "It's your godhood--you can't help it."

Joxer sighed. *Well, I can't expect to change his outlook overnight, and there are a lot of things I shouldn't try to change. I'll just have to wait and figure out what those are. In the meantime...* He reached over and stroked Ares' thigh. "There are better ways to work off energy."

Ares smiled, starting to sit beside him on the lounge, then frowned, standing back up suddenly. "You're pregnant."

Joxer arched an eyebrow. "We've established that. Now you won't have to worry about me getting pregnant..." he thought, "not that that was a big concern before."

"No, I mean you're pregnant. What it if hurts the baby?"

Joxer stared at Ares. Simultaneously they lifted their heads and shouted, "Ace!"

Asclepius appeared in a flash. "What is it? Pains? Blood? Water broke? Convulsions?"

"We need to know if it's safe to have sex," said Ares.

Ace stared at him, then collapsed into a chair, materialized a glass of water, and drank it down. "Don't do that to me! I thought it was an emergency."

Joxer looked at Ares. "Whether or not we can have sex isn't considered an emergency?" He looked at Ace. "It darn sure is to me."

Asclepius sighed. "Look, Ares--did you have to give up sex when you found out Aphrodite was pregnant with Cupid?" Ares shook his head. "Same principle here. Really, with most pregnancies, that isn't a problem, as long as you don't get, er, gymnastic. Later you may need to consult a little to figure out a way that will be comfortable for Joxer and not squeeze the baby, but there's nothing to worry about right now." He stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." he grinned, "and I have a feeling you will--I need to get back. I just about have Strife talked out of piercing his nose." He flashed away.

"Well, Joxer, I..." Ares looked down to find Joxer's eyes crossed at he tried to look at his own nose. He passed a hand over Joxer's eyes. "Stop it. Do you want the baby to be cross-eyed? Don't worry, I think Ace will talk him out of it. Strife just does it occasionally to mess with him. He's going to run out of body parts to threaten to pierce one of these days."

"Speaking of body parts being pierced..." Joxer started unlacing Ares pants.

"Yes, that sounds like a good..." *whoop!* "Joxer! You're going to choke yourself." *slurpslurp* "Not that I mind, but..." *slurpslurpslurp* *lick* "Ooooh, Tartaus!" *squeeze* *howl!* *pantpant* "Damn, Joxer!"

"That's the quick one out of the way," said Joxer cheerfully.

*tickletickletickle* *moan* "Joxer, I'm a God, but even a god can only manage so much, so fast. I need a nap."

"Would a golden apple help? Maybe some ambrosia?" asked Joxer helpfully.

"Zeus! Babe, isn't your ass sore? I mean, I've hardly been out of it for the last hour and a half. And I want to know where you learned that trick that kept me hard inside you even after I came."

Joxer grinned at him. "Let's say I ate a lot of roughage back in Greece, and you have to do something to get rid of it."

Ares grimaced, then sighed. "I thought I wasn't very romantic, love, but that's a bit much, even for me."

"Sorry." *pause* "Are you ready yet?"

"Uh, don't you think it's time I broke the news to your friends and family?"

Joxer sat up. "Why can't I break the news to them?"

"Well, I don't think you should be traveling any more than necessary, particularly between realms, and you know very well that Hercules and Gabrielle don't like to be summoned to Olympus. Xena and Iolaus don't mind, but they wouldn't like being brought here without their companions."

"Okay, I can see that. But what about Jett and Jayce? I want to tell my brothers."

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem. Let's get dressed." They both flashed on clothes. "They can visit here with you while I go talk to the other ones. Do you have any idea where they are? It'll make things quicker if I don't have to hunt for them."

"Let's see, this month Jayce is usually in Athens for the opening of the theater season. Jett..." he shrugged. "If he isn't in prison, probably in the area of the highest concentration of political machination. He picks up a lot of work just by hanging around the various royal courts."

Ares closed his eyes and concentrated. "Ah, there's Jayce." There was a flash of red sparks.

Jayce, resplendent as usual in multi-colored clothes, was sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed neatly at the knees, holding a sheet of parchment. He looked around, blinking, then crossed his arms, chin tipping down. "Hokay. I was yust about to see the premier of a lovely play, with the yummiest lead actor, and hwhy am I here instead?" He looked aorund huffily, then saw Joxer. All irritation fell away as he squealed, "Yoxie!" He grabbed his brother in a hug that was surprisingly vigorous for someone who acted so whispy. "Baby brother! I haven't seen you for months!"

Ares said, "Well, now that the family reunion is officially underway, I'm off. I'll send Jett along as soon as I can find him." He flashed away.

Jayce lifted a carefully plucked eyebrow at Joxer. "Yoxie, doll, was that who I theenk eet was?"

Joxer blushed. "Ares."

Jayce looked around. "And thees ees obviously Olympus." Joxer nodded. Jayce clapped his hands. "Oh, Yoxie! He finally noticesed you!"

"Um, well... he did a little more than notice me, Jayce."

Both eyebrows went up this time. "Hyes?" He gave Joxer a careful look, then grinned, and crooned, "Oo, someone looks very well loved. You're yust glowing! In fact, you almost look like..." He tilted his head, studying his brother closely. "No, that's not possible."

"What's not possible? I gotta tell you, Jayce--there's been a lot of strange stuff going on lately."

Jayce snickered. "Hwell, the last person I saw who looked like you had twins." Joxer fainted. "Yoxie?" Jayce had experience with people who had vapors (the theatrical world was full of the overly dramatic). He efficiently checked Joxer's pulse and breathing, then got a glass of water from the pitcher sitting on the table and flicked drops in Joxer's face. When Joxer started blinking, Jayce put aside the glass. "We'll yust loosen your clothes a bit to make it easier to breathe, hm?" Before Joxer could comment, Jayce was making short work of Joxer's lacings. He giggled. "Yoxie, what has he been feeding you?" *patpat* "Yust look at that leetle dumpling tummy! You almost look..." His eyes widened, and he looked questioningly at Joxer.

"Like I said, a lot of weird stuff has been going on."

"Hyou have any wine around here? I could really use a snort." Joxer held up his hand, and a goblet of wine appeared. Jayce put a hand to his breast. "Honey, I see we have a lots to talk about."

*I think Iolaus and Xena will be happy enough at how things have turned out that there won't be a problem if I mess with the minds of their significant others just a bit.* He located Xena and Gabrielle in a small tent that was situated between two very small armies. A couple of third-level warlords were threatening to get into a pissing contest, and of course the foursome were trying to talk them out of it. Ares assessed the situation, and appeared in the tent. He glared at first one warlord, then the other. "Neither one of you are ready for this, you ninnies! All it will accomplish is a lot of fairly decent warriors dead, and maybe a mile or so of land exchanged, one way or the other. Knock it off, till I can think of something constructive for you to do."

"But Lord Ares..." began one.

Ares wrapped his fist in the man's tunic and lifted him up on his toes. "Look, I'm in a good mood right now, so I won't skin you alive for questioning me, but I don't have infinite patience. Go home to your wife." He looked at the other warlord, who was smirking. "You, go home to your husband." The man gaped, but both of them left, though the first one was snickering.

"Ares!" said Gabrielle. "That wasn't very smart. Now that second one is going to feel obligated to go after the first one somewhere down the line."

"No. Really? What a shame. Now, shut up. I have a couple of announcements to make."

She jutted his jaw beligerently. "Why should we be interested in anything you have to say?"

"Well, considering what a vital interest you take in," his lips twisted, "peace, I think this is worth your attention. Olympus has a new god--the God of Peace."

There was a moment of silence, and then Gabrielle, looking joyous and smug at the same time (if that was possible) crowed, "At last! I knew it would come to pass some day! Who is this new god?"

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of letting that cat out of the bag. Dad would be irritated if I spread it around before he made the official announcement. But a proclamation will go forth from every temple of every deity in Greece in a few days." He smiled, and it wasn't entirely nice. "You seem excited, Gabrielle."

She clasped her hands. "Oh, I've waited for this for so long. I knew that the Way would eventually triumph, and now the end is in sight! People will flock to this new god."

"I can understand why. How about you? Are you going to worship him?"

"How could I not worship someone dedicated to something so wonderful. I will gladly lend my services to his cause."

"I'm going to remind you of that in the future, and I may have more news for you later. By the way, I'm getting married, there's going to be a baby, Joxer is fine, and he sends his regards." He disappeared.

Xena and Gabrielle were left batting away sparks, and gaping. Gabrielle said, "What poor woman has he trapped?" Xena rapped her on the head with her knuckles. "Hey!"

"He's still my father, Gabby." She smiled. "So, Dad's getting married. I thought he was acting kind of mellow."

"Mellow?"

"He only threatened flaying, right? And a baby! I'm going to be an aunt again. This is so exciting." She sighed. "And it's good to hear that Joxer is doing well."

"Humph," said Gabrielle. "Ares' version of fine is likely to mean he's managing to remain conscious through most of the torture."

Xena gritted her teeth. "You know, Gabby, this is getting old." She turned around and stalked off, with Gabrielle following at her heels, demanding to know what she'd said to get Xena so upset.

Joxer, amused, looked up at him. "Um, Jett?"

Jayce shrugged. "Hwell, the first one that we know of."

"Speaking of Jett--Jayce, do you have any idea where he is?"

Jayce pursed his lips. "He's been naughty again. I theenk he's in jail at Tolanamous. They haven't figured out who he is yet, so they haven't executed him. I theenk he's taking a wacation, or he'd have been out of there by now."

"I'll send him to you." He gave a sharp smile. "I still have to go have a talk with my brother." He disappeared.

Jayce flapped the breast plate at Joxer again. "So, sweetie, thees child is obviously going to be especial. You need to start theenking right now about what sort of training chu want to give heem."

"I'm sure Ares will want to take care of his arms training and fighting."

"Yoxie! I mean dancing, recitation, voice... Oh, I hope he gets chur voice! You could have been the best soprano in the world, but then again, there would have had to be that nasty operation..."

*Flash*

Jett looked up to find a tall, bearded man in leather standing in his cell. He immediately stood and bowed. "Lord Ares. How may I serve you?"

Ares looked around. "Getting sloppy, Jett?"

The Kind of Assassins shrugged. "Miscalculation. I didn't know that minor official would be returning from his vacation early. My bad luck that is concubine ate bad clams. He knew he knew me from somewhere, so he had me locked up on general principles till he could be sure. I was planning on leaving tomorrow."

"Would you mind making it a day early? Your brother would like to see you."

"Sure! Which one?"

"They'll both be there, but it's mainly Joxer." He gripped Jett's arm and flashed them both away.

They reappeared on Olympus. Jayce squealed and ran to them, grabbing Jett. "Yett! You gonna be an uncle!"

Jett started. "Jayce, what have you been up to?"

Jayce laughed. "Not me, silly! Yoxie."

Jett grinned at Joxer. "Bro! You finally get into that bard's pants?"

"No, I didn't father a baby. I'm sort of... mothering one."

Jett blinked. He was silent for a moment, processing. His face tightened. "Who the hell is he? Is he gonna marry you, or do I have to convince him?"

Ares put a hand on Jett's shoulder. "It's me, and no, you don't have to convince me. Hera and Dite have their heads together right now, planning the wedding."

Jett's expression relaxed, and he grinned. "Then welcome to the family."

Ares looked between Jayce and Jett. "You two are taking this well."

They both just shrugged. "Let's face it," said Jett cheerfully, "we've been out of the mainstream since Mom popped us out."

"Besides," said Jayce, "hwhat the Tartarus ees so great about being 'normal'?"

Ares snorted. "You know, when it comes to in-laws, I think I'm getting the better end of the deal. Joxer, I have to go break the news to Hercules and Iolaus now. Why not ask the boys to stay for awhile? We have plenty of room."

"That'd be great! Um, how did Gabby and Xena take the news?"

"Well, Gabrielle is very happy about the godhood. I didn't stick around to poll their reaction. Gotta go."

*Flash*

Joxer frowned. "Why do I have the feeling that he wasn't saying more than he was saying?"

Jett had found a whetstone and was sharpening his knife again. "Get used to it, baby brother. It's a god thang."

*Flash*

"Oops."

Hercules and Iolaus jerked out of a passionate embrace. Hercules did, anyway. Iolaus wasn't fazed much by being interupted during nookie unless it was by someone very young, very large and enraged, or someone carrying a weapon. Ares could have qualified on the last two counts most days, but right now he didn't have a weapon in hand, and he looked amused.

Hercules got very red in the face very quickly. "What are you doing?"

"Interrupting, from the looks of it. I won't keep you two but a moment. I thought you'd want the news about Joxer."

"How is Joxer?" said Iolaus eagerly. He really liked the brash, bumbling, but good-hearted warrior.

"He's doing very well, and quite happy. And I thought you'd like to know, Olympus has a new god."

Hercules groaned. "Just what we need!"

"I suppose you could get Father to reconsider it, if you asked nicely. After all, we don't really need a God of Peace."

"Pea...? What?"

"Clean your ears. God--of--Peace. He'll be formally announced in the temples in a day or so." Ares sneered. "I suppose you'll be pushing in as soon as possible to offer your services."

"If he promotes peace, yes," said Hercules stoutly.

"What a shock," drawled Ares. "As long as I'm here, I might as well tell you--I have a kid on the way, and I'm getting married."

Hercules frowned, and his tone was disapproving, "The order of things is a bit off."

"Oh, come on, Herk." Iolaus elbowed him in the side. If I remember things correctly, Iphecles came along way before your Mom had her first anniversary with Iphecles' father. You're not going to say anything about her, are you?"

Hercules was silent. Ares smirked. "Yeah, I thought that would shut you up--as long as it didn't come from me. You're both invited to the ceremony. Don't worry about gifts, or transportation." He flashed away before Hercules could protest.

Hercules sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. "That's the last thing we need--him breeding more of his kind."

"I don't know. Cupid and Xena turned out pretty cool." He plopped down on Hercules' lap, putting his arms around his neck. "I wonder if I ought to get a new set of clothes for the wedding?"

Ares reappeared in his bedroom on Olympus, and looked around. It was empty. He lifted his voice. "Joxer?" Joxer entered the room. "Where are your brothers?"

"Well, Hermes came by to tell us that the announcement has been set for tomorrow. Jayce went with him to visit the Muses, and maybe see Apollo. You know, since he's in the performing arts. I told Jett he could look around in your weapon room. You don't mind?"

"No. If anyone has respect for a good weapon, it's Jett, and he wouldn't steal--he'd just ask." Ares took Joxer in his arms and kissed him. "He knows that I'm going to be a soft touch now that we're getting married."

Joxer rolled his eyes, but grinned. "I have something to show you. You remember that little room at the end of the hall?"

"The spare room? What about it?"

"I was talking with Jayce, and he mentioned something one of the premiere actresses in Athens had done in decorating. It sounded great, so I tried it, and I think I did a pretty good job, too. C'mon." He grabbed Ares hand and tugged him out of the room.

Ares, feeling indulgent, followed along. "Decorating, Joxer? Please tell me I'm not going to find pink guaze draperies and floral murals."

"I said Jayce, not Dite. And this," they were at the door of the room, and Joxer was grinning, "is something completely different." He swung the door open and pushed Ares inside.

The room was suffused by a soft, golden glow. At first Ares thought that Joxer had lit a slew of candles, but after his eyes adjusted, he saw that there were only two--but those two were reflected many times over. The walls were lined with mirrors. Besides the small table holding the candles, the only other thing in the room was a large, black-sheeted bed sitting in the exact center.

Ares stepped deeper into the room, gazing around at the reflections. It was almost surreal. The door shut, and he looked at the opposite wall to see a reflection of Joxer leaning back against the door, watching him. Surreal, but damn sexy.

"Joxer, are you sure that you weren't really meant to be dedicated to Aphrodite instead of me?"

"I'm not her worshipper--I just admire her work." He tackled Ares. Clothing flew, limbs thrashed. Ares had the very novel and inspiring experience of watching himself make love to Joxer. He also found out that the ceiling was mirrored, too.

They lay on the bed afterward. Ares held Joxer, feeling tired, but content. He'd often felt exhausted in his life, but he'd very seldom felt satisfied.

He was just drifting off to sleep when he felt a tickle at his thigh. "Ar?"

He groaned. "Joxer, again?"