"Uh, Jox, I don't think that's what did it," murmured Xena.

"What else could it be? Nothing serious, I hope. Maybe Ace could..."

"I think it's just surprise."

"Surprise? For what?"

"Well," Xena gestured at him vaguely, then at the watching gods and goddesses. "This."

Joxer frowned. "But why should that come as a surprise? Ares told you, didn't he?" Xena was silent. "Didn't...?" He frowned, turning to gaze accusingly at the War God. "Ares!"

Ares shrugged. "I told them that there was going to be a new god, and I was talking about you at the same time. I just assumed they'd be smart enough to put two and two together on their own."

"Oh, sure." Joxer gave him a look that said, 'we're going to talk about this when we get home'. "I guess you informed Hercules and Iolaus the same way?" Ares shrugged. Joxer looked at the group. "Guys, I'm sorry this came as such a shock." He grinned. "Actually, it's been pretty much of a shock to me, too, and..."

"If we could get on with this?" Zeus' voice held an impatient edge that no sensible person would ignore.

"Oh. Right."

Joxer had continued to flick water on Gabrielle, who was now pretty damp. The bard's eyelids fluttered open, and she gasped, "But it was so clear outside!" Then she took in Joxer, who was still dousing her, and sat bolt upright, growling, "Joxer!" She lifted her hand, as if to give him one of her usual smacks.

There were shocked gasps from the assembly, and a warning growl from Ares, but before he could react, Joxer sat back on his heels and looked at Gabrielle. The bard's expression smoothed out. She stared at her upraised hand, as if unsure of exactly what it was doing, then lowered it slowly. "I... you... Why don't I want to hit you anymore?"

Joxer shrugged. "Um, because I'm the God of Peace, and I just did what I'm supposed to do?"

Gabrielle gaped. "You calmed me? How dare..." The hand went up again. Joxer looked at her. The hand lowered, as Gabrielle smiled serenely. Then she shook her head and snapped, "Stop doing that!"

"Young woman," Zeus said severely. "I'll thank you not to question a god in the performance of his duties. Count yourself lucky that I chose not to mar this happy day by allowing my eldest son to do to you what he so obviously wants. Joxer, please return. There's another matter that needs to be attended to."

"Sure. Sorry, your Bigness." There were titters from the Olympians, and a non-plus look from Zeus, all of which Joxer did not notice. He was busy materializing a goblet of wine, and handing it to Iolaus. "Here, Iolaus. Maybe this will help Herk." He hurried back to the assembled Pantheon as Iolaus began to try to get a still muttering Hercules to drink the wine.

Zeus cleared his throat. "Now, then. As you have all probably notices, there is not one, but two new thrones. I have decided that, in order for the power of the Pantheon to remain balanced, we will not be thirteen, but fourteen. I will be elevating one of our number to a senior position." He smiled smugly as whispering broke out among the divinities, rivaling the eager chatter of the mortals. Everyone was speculating on who was going to get a promotion. Zeus was thoroughly enjoying the curiosity.

At last he said, "This was not an easy decision. There were a number of worthy candidates, but I had to weigh the choice carefully, in order to maintain a balance of power." He took a deep breath. "I had first considered Cupid..." The voices rose. Cupid was definitely a favored prospect, but they were troubled by that one word--'had'. "But we already have one divinity in charge of love and passion." He bowed his head toward Aphrodite. She seemed torn between pride in her own importance, and disappointment for her son. "In the universe, all things must balance--love and hate, passion and indifference, dark and light. The Pantheon has for ages been most heavily weighted toward the brighter aspects of the cosmos, with only my son Ares, and my brother Hades, to represent the very necessary dark aspects. Therefore I cannot elevate another light aligned divinity into the upper ranks."

The whispering increased as the possible candidates were tallied by the observers. Bacchus? Hecate? Many noticed that Eris--Discord--was almost vibrating with excitement. More than one person shuddered at this. Eris with more power was a very scary thought.

Strife, slouched against a wall, was watching the proceedings with a sour expression, even though he was getting a power buzz from the mischief the old goat was fomenting by teasing the crowd. "C'mon," he muttered, under his breath. "Get if ovah with."

"You're not excited to see who it will be?"

Strife blinked to find Cupid standing so close-by. "Why should I be? It just means someone's gonna hafta look that much farthah down their nose at me. How 'bout you, Feathahs? No ambition?"

Cupid shrugged, and noted the way Strife's eyes quickly flicked away from the shift of his shoulders, then returned to resolutely fix on a spot in the center of his forehead. "I'm happy where I am." He paused. "Well, pretty happy, but it's nothing that would be cured by a promotion."

"Yah? Yer usually almost as chipper as Sunny Boy. What gives?"

Cupid was studying him. "Maybe I'll tell you sometimes." Strife, curious, started to say something, but Cupid tilted his chin toward Zeus. "Granddad's about to make the big announcement."

"I had considered Eris," Eris started to step forward, but Zeus said quickly, "I'm sorry, my dear. It's the same as it was with Cupid--your position is far too similar to your brother's. I have given this much thought..." Strife snorted softly, thinking of how little time there'd been between Zeus' learning of the new god and this ceremony. "And have chosen to elevate... Strife, God of Mischief."

Stunned silence, then pandemonium. Strife, expression absolutely slack, slumped against the wall, then slowly slid down to sit as his eyes rolled back in his head. Ace and Apollo sprang forward--a fainting god was not a common thing. Before they reached him, Cupid had scooped the limp Mischief God up into his arms and deposited him on a hastily created sofa.

Ace and Apollo both ran their hands through the air over Strife. After a moment they exchanged glances, and Ace said, "Power overdose?"

Apollo nodded. "We have to siphon off some of the power, or his brains might be scrambled. Well, more scrambled than they already are."

"Where do we divert it?"

"I'd say Eirini. He's the newest, with the smallest present power base." They each grasped one of the other's hands, and laid their free hands on Strife--Apollo touching his head, and Ace his chest. "Joxer, come here." The God of Peace immediately came over, his face tense with concern for the young god whom he had begun to consider a friend. "Grip our clasped hands, and brace yourself."

Joxer did as they said. All three of the gods closed their eyes. There was a faint, but resonant, hum. Joxer stiffened, and Ares started down to the group. Aphrodite caught his arm, whispering, "No, Ares--he'll be all right. He's going to have to learn how to deal with power surges, and you know that he wants to help Strife." Ares chewed his lip, but nodded, not trying to break away. Truth be told, he was worried about his nephew. Strife was always so resilient, able to bounce back from anything life threw at him--including his uncle's fireballs. Seeing the younger man so helpless was... disconcerting.

After a moment Strife's eyes opened, and he batted at Asclepius and Apollo. "Enough, already! Ya wanna have me faintin 'cause I'm too low insteada too high?"

"You're welcome," huffed Apollo, turning to rejoin the others.

But Ace smiled at Strife and gripped his shoulder. "You're sure you're all right?"

"Yah." Strife giggled, and it sounded even more unsteady than usual. "As all right as I can be, considerin tha butt-load of responsibility that just got dumped in my lap." He glanced toward the other gods, noting their various expressions. "An' tha shit I'm gonna hafta deal with from tha ones passed ovah." Discord was glaring at him. He winced. "Pahticularly Mom. Damn, is my leatha bein singed? But what about Joxie? That musta been a hell of a jolt fah him."

"Joxer?" asked Ace.

"Hm?" Joxer was staring back at Ares, a dreamy smile on his face. "Isn't it wonderful how he can make his own clothes? A mortal tailor could never get those pants so tight."

Strife snickered, seeing the suddenly uneasy look on his uncle's face. "Uh-oh. I guess I know where Joxer is plannin ta channel that extra energy." He snickered again. "Unc oughta rethink that 'I ALWAYS top' policy of his. Sure, he'll end up kinda sore, but I think it'd wear Joxer out quickah if he hadda actually work at it."

"Strife, Joxer--get up here so I can finish this," called Zeus.

Strife was a little surprised when Cupid took his hand and drew him to his feet. He noted his cousin's unusually expression, but couldn't understand why he would look so... Not exactly distressed, but close to it, and very thoughtful. Strife nodded his thanks and followed Joxer back. They ended up standing on either side of Zeus. The King of the Gods muttered under his breath, "Will you two please try to act with a little dignity and purpose in front of the mortals? We have a reputation..." Strife cocked an eyebrow at him. "Oh, all right!"

Zeus held a hand over the head of each god and intoned, "Mark well this day, ye bards and historians, for it is unlikely that such an event will come again. Today Greece has seen the arrival of a new god, and the elevation of an existing one." His voice dropped into normal tones. "You can quit pestering me to end wars, and maybe my wife will get a brief respite from your petitions about domestic arguments. And I'll be expecting you to lay some more work on this stripling," one finger flicked at Strife's spiky hair, but he only grinned, "but do not try to sic him on any of us. We get enough of him as it is. Okay, I think that about covers it. Joxer... er, Eirini--remain for awhile. I'm sure you'll be receiving a rash of dedications, offerings, and such like--it always happens with a new god. Everyone feel free to festival." He disappeared in a flash, and roll of thunder.

Once Zeus was gone, Hera stood up and said, "Well, while my husband may have something," she lowered her voice, "or someone," then went back to a normal tone, "to do, the rest of us shall remain, in honor of the new god." She sighed. "Will someone please get my husband's offspring up out of the middle of the floor? He's blocking traffic, and even more of a hazard than usual." She glanced at Hestia. "Dear, would you...?"

"My pleasure." Hestia lifted her hands. Suddenly long tables of food and drink appeared at the front and back of the temple. Hestia gestured at the tables nearest the altar and said clearly, "These are off limits to you mortals, but please do make hogs of yourself at the other tables." She beamed as there was a near stampede toward the groaning tables. The chance to sample food prepared by the Goddess of the Hearth (and thus Goddess of Domestic Life) was not to be missed.

Some people might have been offended by how quickly attention was turned away from them on their special day, but Joxer was much too pre-occupied. He'd started to... Well, the term 'stalk' is appropriate, Ares. The God of War was trying to evade him while not looking as if he were evading, much to the amusement of Cupid and Aphrodite.

Joxer had more or less cornered Ares against one of the buffet tables, and was running one fingertip along the open Vee of his leather vest. Ares, beginning to feel desperate, hissed, "Joxer! Not in front of the mortals." Joxer stuck out his lower lip, pouting, and Ares felt a sudden tingle of interest, but forced it down. "Look, we have eternity. Go do your duty for a little while." When Joxer hesitated, sighing, Ares urged, "Go on. I'll have a surprise for you later."

Joxer brightened. He loved surprises, and he'd seldom experienced a surprise prepared specially for him by someone he loved. "Okay, but just for a couple of hours. Then..." he leered.

As his husband stepped away to greet his first official worshipper (a very rare creature--an elderly soldier), Ares let out a breath of relief. *I'm not sure exactly what these hormones are, but if I could figure out a way to inflict them on people, I could just let opposing sides fuck each other to death.*

He figured there was still a little while before Hephastus would be finished with his work, so Ares looked around for something to occupy himself without getting within arm's reach of his horny mate. He considered going over and speaking to Strife, letting him know that, as far as Ares was concerned, the new status didn't mean jack shit when it came to the Mischief God's duties to the House of War. He wasn't going to be shuffling off anything he deemed menial or tedious. But to his utter shock, Eris was talking to Strife. Talking to him--not screaming, beating, or otherwise inflicting physical or psychic damage. She wasn't smiling (you really wanted to be careful around her when she smiled), but she didn't look much more pissed off than usual.

He considered going to talk to Cupid, but his son was lounging comfortably on a sofa with Bliss on his lap, feeding the little boy something that was apparently too sloppy to allow unsupervised consumption. The funny thing was, every time Bliss had a mouthful and was busy chewing, Cupid's eyes would drift over to Eris and Strife. Many people thought of Cupid as a simple, open person. Idiots. Love was one of the most complex emotions in existence, and if Cupid wished, he could put up a front so blank that it would be the envy of a Stoic.

Finally Ares noticed that Iolaus and Xena had helped Hercules up into a chair. His half-brother was still looking numb. He was saying to his companions. "I had the weirdest dream. Joxer was a god."

Xena patted his shoulder. "No dream, friend."

Hercules tried to sound hopeful. "But the last part was, right? I mean, Dad would never have the bad judgment to promote Strife to..." As he was speaking, Strife walked over to the fourteenth throne and walked around it, head cocked. There was a flash of red light, and the throne was suddenly not quite so massive, carved of dark wood instead of marble, with black and scarlet cushions and draperies. A carving about the size of a large man's hand graced the back--an elegant ebony spider, with a bright red hourglass enameled on its belly. Strife grinned in satisfaction and threw himself into the seat, slouching comfortably with one leg thrown over an arm. "Oh, man."

Gabrielle said, "Well, now that I'm over the initial shock, I think it's... um... Okay. I guess. Well, we know who the new god is. Maybe we can weasel out the info of what poor wench got suckered into agreeing to marry Ares."

"I'm more interested in who's going to be the mother of his child," said Xena. "After all, if she's going to be popping out my niece or nephew, I'd like to get to know her."

Hercules said, "But wouldn't that be the same...?" He trailed off as the others stared at him. "Right. Not necessarily... uh... right."

*Couldn't have had a better opportunity if I'd scripted it myself,* thought Ares. He gave Aphrodite a significant look, nodding toward the heroes. She giggled, flashed a plate of food into her hands, and sauntered over to the little group. "Hercules, did you faint?"

Hercules blushed. "I did not." "Oh, good. Fainting is never a good sign." She started eating. "I mean, it's not all that unusual in some instances, but you'd hardly qualify." She giggled. "I remember when I was expecting Cupid... Well, never mind." *munchmunch* "You know, this noodle thingy from the Chin is pretty good, but it needs something. I know!" *Flash* *munch* "Mmm. The smoked, herbed goat cheese almost does the trick, but it needs a teeny bit more of a zing. I know!" *Flash* Yellow lumps appeared in the tangled, gummy pile on her plate, and she dug in with relish. "Ooh, yes." She rolled her eyes happily. "You know, pineapple is shamefully ignored in main dish cooking."

She wandered away while Iolaus, Xena, Gabrielle, and Hercules began to exchange significant looks. "Well, of course," said Gabrielle. "I mean, there's Cupid, after all. It makes perfect sense that he'd..."

One of the Muses came over. "Gabrielle, just wanted to say nice going on that last poem." She was nibbling from a fragrant bowl of what looked like sauerkraut. As they watched, she dunked a small honey cake in the swimming juice and nibbled it. Sighing, she said dreamily. "I want you to consider writing an ode to motherhood. I know it isn't your usual style, but..." Another sigh. "It... it's just so... so..." One hand lightly, unconsciously, touched her belly. "So, you know?" She frowned absently at her bowl, then materialized a handful of shelled sunflower seeds and sprinkled them in as she walked away.

After a moment's silence, Xena said, "I don't know. Wouldn't Apollo be pitching a major hissy fit?"

Iolaus was glancing around. "I don't know. I'd say so, but right now I see at least three other Muses who are acting, um, peculiar. Two of them are sharing what looks like a plate of raw oysters..."

"That's not so unusual," broke in Hercules.

"It is when they're garnished with candied cherries and hot peppers. And the third on is knitting what appears to be either a large handkerchief, or a very small toga."

Artemis and Athena passed close by. Athena was griping. "Goddess of Wisdom, my ass! I can't believe I got in this position. I hate this! I'm upchucking all the time, and it seems like I don't dare get more than three feet from a chamber pot. I'm tiddling more than Cerberus did before Ar got him housebroken, and it's supposed to get worse?"

"You think YOU have it bad?" grumbled Artemis. "I've been ordered to lay off the chase till further notice." She snorted. "And my ankles are so swollen I can't fit into my boots anyway."

After they'd passed, Xena shook her head. "No, it has to be something else. I mean--they're both virgins, right?"

Iolaus shrugged, smiling faintly. "Contrary to popular belief, that's very difficult to definitively prove."

In the next few minutes they listened to a dewy eyed Demeter talking about how she'd always wanted to give Persephone a baby brother or sister, while Hestia mused about the possibility of inventing a diaper that was cheap, efficient, and could just be thrown away after one use. Hecate complained that her boobs were tender, and asked a blushing, stammering Hercules if the nipples had darkened enough to be visible through the gauze of her tunic.

"This... this is impossible," muttered Gabrielle. "They can't all be... I mean, I might believe it of Apollo... Maybe there was a particularly spectacular orgy a couple of months ago that we didn't hear about?"

They hadn't seen Ares whispering to a grinning Ace. The healing god sidled over to the little group and whispered, "Look, the rest of the more fragile beings are keeping on the other side of the temple, so I thought I might just warn you..."

There was a loud *spang*. Eris had just flung an almost empty serving tray against a pillar. "Damn it to Tartarus! Who ate the last of those Atomic Fireball things Strife brought from the future?"

"Ma, ease up," Strife soothed. "Look." He materialized a small golden sponge cake and offered it to her. "It's called a Twinkie. Try it."

"But I want..."

*zap* "I laced tha cream fillin with poblanos."

"Oh. Well, then..."

Gabrielle turned a little green, but said stoutly, "It's his sister! And... and lots of people occasionally have strange food cravings, and it doesn't mean..."

"Oh!" The sound froze the four heroes. It came from Eris, and could only be called a 'coo'. "Calliope, is that a baby unicorn on that shirt you're making? Oh, that is so sweet! Give him great, big eyes, and don't forget the ribbons in his tail, and... and..." *bawl* "I shouldn't have eaten that Twinkie! I'm so damn fat! I'm a whale!" *sniff* "But it sure did taste good. Strife, could you get me some of that marinated baby squid? Oh, and don't forget the caramel sauce."

"I'm scared," said Gabby in a tiny voice.

Xena said, "This is decidedly weird. Maybe we should ask someone in authority. C'mon." They made their way up the steps, and paused before Hera's throne. "Your highness, something is bothering us, we were wondering..." She trailed off, eyes going wide.

Hera looked up from her bowl of strawberries and whipped cream. "Yes, Xena?" A pause. She stirred pickled herring into the mix. "I'm a little angry at Eris for hogging all the caramel sauce, but I suppose she had her reasons, and this will do just as well. You had something to ask me? And someone pick Hercules up off the floor again. I can't abide litter."

Ace smiled, patting his arm. "Maybe so. You're still a little buzzed, what with that energy surge from Strife, and the flow that you're beginning to get, now that you've been officially acknowledged. But you know how you've been reacting to transporting, and we don't want to take a chance. Appearing at your ascension was one thing--you were just in the back room, but earth to Olympus is something entirely different. Will you be all right now?"

Joxer looked around, eyes gleaming. "I will be as soon as I find Ares." He chuckled, and his friends would have been surprised by the lascivious tone. "He's been avoiding me all day. I know it's only because he's feeling a little tired, but I hope he knows that I'm just gonna wear him out even worse now."

Ace smiled. "I'd better go, then. It's not easy to embarrass a healer, but it can be done. Get to bed soon--you need your rest." Joxer wiggled his eyebrows, and Ace laughed. "All right, but horizontal, okay?" *Flash*

Once Ace was gone, Joxer lifted his voice, "Ar-eeees? Come on, lover. Baby needs a snuggle."

*Flash* Ares appeared. "Zeus. If anyone had ever told me I'd answer to a summons like that, much less from one of my former warriors..." Joxer pounced, and Ares found himself wearing his mate. "Oof! Joxer, try and calm down for a minute."

Joxer was kissing his neck. "Don't wanna. Do you have any idea how horny a sudden burst of power like that makes you? Wait, of course you do..."

"Yes, but it can be worked off different ways. There's the fight, flight, or fuck options. Dite... well, you know what her reaction would be. Artemis races one of her stags, and a lot of the time I'm already in the middle of something important, so a good bloodbath takes care of most of the energy..."

Joxer nibbled his earlobe. "Quit stalling and get nekkid." He wiggled, grinning. "I'm already oiled. I have been since before I started greeting worshippers. I had planned on dragging you into an alcove or under a table, but you disappeared."

"Just as well. I usually avoid public sex unless it's at an official orgy. Babe..." Ares, carrying Joxer without really needing to support him, went to the bed. "Sit down."

Joxer, arms and legs still locked, sort of lunged back, dragging Ares down. The surprised War God managed to twist, so that he landed on the bottom. He gripped Joxer's arms and pushed him up, saying firmly, "Joxer!" Joxer, who had been wiggling, paused, wide-eyed. That was an 'I mean business' tone. Ares sighed. "Calm---down." He cupped Joxer's cheek. "Jox, I almost fell on you--and you're pregnant."

Joxer winced, and buried his face against Ares chest--but this time it was to seek comfort. "Tartarus, Ares, I'm sorry! I... I'd never do anything to hurt you or the baby. I just..."

"Sh." Ares stroked his hair. "I know. It's the hormones, love. They're making you a little crazier than usual."

Joxer peeked up at him. "Ace did say this would slow down, right? I mean, of course I'm enjoying it, but if it's going to put a strain between us..."

"I think I have something that will take care of that. Remember that I told you I had a present for you?" He sat up, pulling Joxer into a sitting position, also.

Joxer frowned slightly. "Okay, I know you're not going to offer me the temporary use of a trained pleasure slave..." Ares growled, and Joxer laughed. "I said I know you're not--and I wouldn't want one. I'd rather melt into a little puddle of frustration."

"You don't have to do that, and we don't need anyone else." Ares held out his hands, palm up. There was a small flash, and a carved wooden box appeared. He offered it. "For you."

Joxer took the box and turned it in his hands, examining it curiously. "It's pretty. What is it--some sort of a passion draining potion?" He sounded a little sad. The sheer physical pleasure aside, he was enjoying the constant intimacy with his husband-to-be.

"Open it and find out." As Joxer lifted the lid, Ares discreetly checked to be sure that his lover wasn't close enough to the edge of the bed to be in danger of falling if he was too startled.

Joxer blinked. And blinked. And blinked some more. He lifted huge eyes to Ares. "Is... is that what it looks like?"

Ares couldn't help smiling. "What does it look like?"

Joxer gazed at the glimmering object that lay on a bed of black velvet, displayed like the finest jewel. "It looks like a metal cock."

"It's called a dildo."

Joxer cocked his head. "I've heard Meg's girls talk about those." He blushed slightly. "Oh, I'll be honest. I, uh, saw one or two in use. But they were just sort of, um, tubes of, like, carved wood." He winced. "They were varnished or enameled, and I still kept thinking about splinters."

"You won't have to worry about that with this," Ares promised. "There isn't a rough or sharp surface anywhere."

Joxer leaned down, peering closely, then said, "Ares! This is gold!" Ares nodded. "But... but wouldn't bronze have been more, um, practical?"

"For my man?" Ares put his fingers under Joxer's chin, tipping it up to get him to look at him. He kissed the God of Peace softly. "Nothing but the best for you, Joxer." Then, as if uneasy about sounding 'sweet', he let himself smirk and said, "In the real thing, and in substitutions."

"It's beautiful." He looked even more closely, then gasped. "Ar, this is you!" Ares chuckled. "No, it is! I'd recognize that cock anywhere, any time--in a dark room." He gave a sudden cheerful leer. "In fact, I have done, and look forward to doing it again. But how?" His eyebrows suddenly lowered, and his tone became ominous--a very disconcerting thing with the gentle man. "Exactly how did the 'artisan' manage such an accurate copy?" Ares looked at him blankly for a moment, then barked with laughter. "You're jealous! And I thought I was the only one in this relationship who had that problem." He hugged Joxer, who remained a little stiff, though the frown did soften. "Baby, you have nothing to worry about. That was made by Hephastus. I have no interest in him. Ask Dite--she tries to talk me into a threesome every now and then. He used clay to make a mold. I just thought about you to get 'in the mood'." Now Joxer was beginning to smile again, face flushed. "I went alone for a few minutes and thought about you, remembering our first time together," his voice was husky, "touching myself. Then when I had 'maximum effort, Heph gave me the pot of glop and I sort of suited up." He bent over and quickly nipped Joxer's earlobe. "Let me tell you, that wasn't where I wanted to stick it right then, but anything if it will help you. Then I had to stand there while the stuff hardened, and I softened and shrank enough to pull out without damaging the mold." Now Ares regarded the golden dildo with satisfaction. "I think it was worth the sacrifice. Look at this..."

Ares reached into the box and lifted out the phallus. He gripped the shaft tightly, and Joxer's flush deepened. It was an incredibly erotic sight. Then Ares gripped the metallic testicles and twisted hard, popping them off. Joxer fell back on the bed, squeaking and grabbing at his own crotch with protective instinct. "Oh, damn, I'm sorry!" Ares looked contrite, but was trying not to laugh.

"WARN me next time!" huffed Joxer, sitting up.

Ares shrugged sheepishly (and there were a lot of people who would have gone into shock at seeing that). "I just wanted to show you one of the special features." He up-ended the phallus, then materialized a beaker of faintly steaming water. Joxer saw now that the dildo was hollow. Ares carefully filled the thing, then flashed away the beaker, and screwed the base back on. He held it out toward Joxer. "Feel."

Tentatively, Joxer laid his hand against the smooth metallic side. After a moment he felt the cool surface warming under his touch. "Ooh..." he whispered.

Ares nodded. "It's spelled so that it won't ever be more than body-temperature." Ares lifted the golden cock and gently stroked Joxer's cheek with the shiny tip, whispering, "So my lover will be comfortable." He offered the dildo to Joxer.

Joxer looked at it, his gaze hungry, but still uncertain. "Are you sure, Ar?"

Ares put an arm around him, hugging him. "Joxer--I love you, and I want you to have everything you want and need. I'm doing my damndest, but lover... I just can't keep up with you right now, and don't you dare let that slip to Strife! It'll end up written on every bathing house wall from here to Chin, no matter what the consequences he knows he'd reap." He smiled, resting his forehead against Joxer's. "I like toys. We'd have gotten around to them eventually, but I didn't think it would be this early."

"You want me to do this?"

"It's a suggestion, Jox--not an order. Your body has gone a little insane right now. According to Ace it's going to calm down soon, but till then I don't think there's anything wrong with helping nature along. Do you want to try it?" Joxer nodded shyly, reaching out to run one finger from the base to the tip, slowly circling around the glans. Ares took a deep breath. "I'm glad. It means that all those pubic hairs that got torn out were not sacrificed in vain."

Joxer stood and began to strip. He paused with his hands on the laces of his breeches, and said in a small voice, "Would... would you sort of... I mean, this first time..."

Ares stood and took him in his arms, hushing him with a kiss. "Yes. It isn't meant as a substitute, love--just a helper." Joxer sighed in relief.

In a short time they were both naked. Joxer lay back, comfortably propped on pillows, and watched as Ares materialized a small pot of oil. "I told you that I was already prepared."

"I know you did." Ares dipped up oil and spread a film over the dildo, making the gold glisten even more in the candlelight. "And don't think I didn't start getting hard when you told me that, but you know I'm not going to risk you hurting yourself."

"Okay." Joxer was propped up on his elbows, watching Ares' big hand gliding over the phallus. Joxer was already half-erect, and he reached down to stroke his awakening flesh. Ares smiled, gently pushed Joxer's hand aside, and spread more oil over his lover's erection. "You're so thoughtful."

"Yeah. Well, don't let it slip, and ruin my reputation." Ares squeezed Joxer gently. "Can you get your legs up and open without too much discomfort?"

"I did this morning, didn't I?" Joxer slid down a little more, raising and spreading his legs, hooking them back slightly with his arms.

Ares sighed. "The sexiest target in existence. Relax." Joxer closed his eyes as slick fingers stroked down the crease of his ass, then circled around his asshole. One fingertip pushed against the crinkle, and Ares whispered, "Yes, you did a good job, didn't you?" Joxer bit his lip as one thick finger slowly breeched his entrance and began to slide in and out. "Babe, I'm not so tired that I don't want to fuck you. I am going to fuck you later, if you still want it, but this first time you need to use this, so we can be sure it's going to do the trick."

Joxer moaned softly as a second finger joined the first and began to slowly stretch him. "'If I still want it'. One of your sillier statements, Ar. There will never come a time when I don't want to have sex with you."

"Yeah? Keep saying that," said Ares wryly. "Along about the eighth month with Aphrodite, she threatened lock up Cerberus for a week, then chain me down with Hephastian metal, smear raw liver on my balls, and turn him loose." Joxer slitted his eyes open. "And once Cupid was born she swore that she was going to be the first born-again virgin in history." Joxer smiled. "Right--it's temporary." He continued to prepare Joxer for another few moments, then said, "Ready now?"

Joxer nodded, but when Ares went to hand him the dildo, he pushed his hand away. "You do it. Please? Just to start."

Ares saw that, though Joxer's eyes burned with passion, there was still a small uncertainty. He needed reassurance. "Of course." Ares pulled his fingers out. Joxer gasped with pleased surprise as his lover bent and pressed a kiss to the slick opening, tongue flicking out to thrust shallowly into the slightly loosened orifice. Ares pressed the rounded head to Joxer's anus and whispered, "If there's the slightest hint of pain, you tell me immediately."

Again Joxer nodded. "Please, Ares."

Ares kissed Joxer, tongue moving softly in the younger man's mouth, and slowly slid the dildo in. He stopped after only three inches, and held it there, muttering against Joxer's panting mouth. "Okay, babe?"

"Ares," Joxer hissed. "Teasing is supposed to be Strife's area of expertise!"

Ares snorted, but it was amused. "Ever heard the term 'bossy bottom'?" He pulled back, and stilled Joxer's protesting whine by pushing it back in, deeper this time. He continued to pump gently, thrusting in a little more with each stroke, till the dildo was fully sheathed, only the rounded golden balls still outside Joxer's body, cradled in Ares' hand. Then he stopped and just studied his lover.

Joxer's face was flushed. He caught Ares' eyes, then smiled and purred quietly, ass wiggling. Ares' gaze sharpened with hunger, but he quickly reached down to encircle his own hardening cock, squeezing ruthlessly. This was for Joxer--his time would come. His voice rough, Ares took hold of Joxer's hand and moved it down, wrapping the long, fingers around the base. "Do it, Joxer. Right now I can't think of anything sexier than seeing you pleasure yourself. Let me see it." Joxer gripped the dildo and pulled back slowly. His expression was intent, as he concentrated on the sensation. Then he pushed in, just as slowly, and sighed voluptuously. "Feels good?"

"Um." Joxer braced his feet flat on the bed, to keep himself open and comfortable. With his free hand he reached out and captured Ares' hand, bringing it up and kissing his palm before bringing it down to where his cock lay against his belly, hard and weeping. "Oo, yes. But not as good as you, Ar. Never as good as you, nothing as good as you. Help me?"

Ares began to masturbate Joxer, his motions almost tender as the other man worked the golden phallus in and out of his body. Unable to resist, Ares began to stroke himself with his other hand, needing to join his lover in this, knowing that Joxer needed it, too. Joxer's motions became stronger, and faster. Soon he was pumping strongly, head pushed back deep into the pillows, face sweaty. But he didn't close his eyes. They never left his lover's face, drinking in Ares' own passionate, tender expression.

Soon Joxer's body arched, and he came, his sperm coating Ares' still moving hand. Joxer quickly released the toy, grabbed Ares by the shoulder, and bodily hauled the surprised War God higher in the bed. The dildo still cradled in his flesh, Joxer shifted, and took Ares' hard prick into his mouth, and swiftly down his throat, sucking strongly. Ares gritted his teeth, throwing his head back and burying his hands in Joxer's hair as his hips jerked. He came with a gush, and Joxer eagerly drank his essence, never missing a drop.

Finally he let Ares go with a small lick, and they settled down in each other's arms. After a moment, Joxer shifted a little, murmuring, "I think the water is cooling off."

"Really?" said Ares lazily. "I would have thought you'd boiled it away, hot stuff." Joxer snickered, rubbing his face on Ares' chest. "Shouldn't you take that out?"

"Um, not just yet," Joxer sighed.

"Okay, you can keep it for another few minutes." Ares kissed him, a kiss that held a promise. "But it's going to have to come out soon. There isn't room in there for both it and me."