Ares gave Joxer an amused look. "A laudable ambition, Joxer, but remember that only the Greek are under your direct jurisdiction, and a completely anxiety free pregnancy is simply not natural."

"Details, details," Joxer grumbled. "I hate having to limit my work so much. I mean, I just became the God of Peace, and I'm having to delegate right and left to my priests, who are also new. What are my worshippers going to think of me?"

"They'll think that you're a wonderful, sensible person dedicated to the health of our unborn child. They'll think that, or they'll deal with me."

Joxer smiled faintly. "You'll just make more work for me like that."

Mjau trotted into the room, heading straight for Joxer. In the six weeks he'd grown a good bit. He was still small, but he was sleek, sturdy, and full of attitude. He paused long enough to wind himself around Ares' legs, making sure to rub his jaw on the man's boots, scent marking him so that any interloper would know who he belonged to. Then he went to his main human and did the same. Sitting beside Joxer's feet, he looked up expectantly. *mjau*

Joxer gazed down at him. "I am not bending down to pick you up." The kitten instantly jumped, snagged Joxer's trousers, and started to climb.

Ares reached over, plucked the kitten off, and deposited him in Joxer's arms. "You need to break him of that. It's going to get painful if he's still doing it when he's full grown."

"Yeah, I know. I spoke to Artemis, since she's the big one on animals, but apparently there isn't much theory on obedience training cats."

"Imagine my shock."

"Strife advised me to keep a water bottle nearby and give Mjau a squirt when he does something over the limit."

Ares snorted. "Sounds like something Strife would suggest."

Joxer scratched the kitten under the chin. "Strife's gonna be surprised by how big you've gotten. He hasn't seen you for almost a month," he said sadly. Ares shifted, a little guiltily. He'd kept Strife busy lately, and had hinted broadly that he spend a minimum of time in the Halls of War. He just wasn't comfortable having the God of Mischief around Joxer when he was in such a vulnerable state, but he was beginning to realize how much Joxer missed Strife's companionship. Joxer materialized a small gobbet of liver and offered it to Mjau, who devoured it quickly. "I'm so glad you got weaned."

"Me, too. That waking up two or three times a night when you had to feed him sucked."

Joxer gave him a wry look. "Yes, I'm sure that will never happen with a new baby." He waddled to the sofa and lowered himself carefully to sit on the edge. "Oh, man. I have really gotten huge in the last couple of weeks." He flinched, and Ares looked concerned. "Relax. Our son may be a vintner--he seems to be practicing stomping grapes. Mjau--play, or food?" The kitten looked horrified. "Yeah, it's a bitch having to choose, so don't." Joxer materialized a tiny minnow, then pitched it on the floor, where it began flapping frantically. Mjau leaped, for an instant looking a bit like a flying squirrel, all four limbs spread wide. He landed in a crouch, wiggled his tiny butt, then pounced on the minnow and began to wrestle it. "That'll keep him busy for awhile. He'll have to kill it at least six times before he's satisfied. Hand me that salve that Dite sent, would you?"

Ares got the squat alabaster jar, opening the lid and sniffing it as he brought it over. "It smells good. A little girly, but good."

"Well, what did you expect from Dite--something woodsy and manly?" He held out his hand.

Ares kept hold of the jar. "What's this for? I know the cream Ace gave you was for the hemeroids, but what's this for?"

"It's for--something else. It's a skin cream."

"You don't need it. Your complexion is better than ever. I used to think that 'glowing' bit was crap that everyone spread to keep pregnant women happy, but it's true with you."

"Stop it. Shouldn't you be writing down your thoughts on the philosophy of war, or something?"

Ares sat beside him. "Okay, now you're trying to get rid of me. What is this?" Joxer tried to grab the jar, but Ares had longer arms than he did, and held it away. "You might as well tell me--you know how stubborn I can be."

"It is a skin cream. It... it's just not facial cream."

"Joxer..."

"It's for my belly, okay? Dite said it will keep me from getting stretch marks. I'm using it on my chest, too--at least till I have to start nursing the baby." He folded his arms and tipped his chin down, looking at the floor. "I just don't want to end up with streaks running up and down my body."

"Why didn't you just say so? Take off your shirt and lie down, and I'll..."

"No!"

Ares blinked at him, then said slowly, "Joxer, does this have any connection to why you've stopped undressing for bed?"

"I take off my clothes."

"And then you put on nearly as much again." Ares put an arm around his shoulders. "Tell me you aren't embarrassed--not with me."

Joxer bit his lip, then said faintly, "I've spent my life usually being the skinniest, palest, clumsiest person in the neighborhood."

"Joxer, you're..."

"Let me finish. Then we got together--and for the first time I felt--" he smiled faintly. "Tartarus, they don't have a strong enough masculine word for it. 'Handsome' and 'good looking' just don't cover it."

"Despite what some people think, Jox, the term beautiful is perfectly appropriate for a man as well as a woman. If you doubt it, look at Cupid. I think you're beautiful."

Joxer nodded, and his eyes were soft. "I know. That's why I want to keep covered up. I want you to keep thinking that."

Ares sighed, then rested his head on Joxer's shoulder. "Joxer, you're still too damn insecure. First off, if a god has an ounce of sense, they realize that mere physical appearance counts for very little. Hell, we can change it at will, remember? Strife once persuaded Deimos to make his hair black, then Strife went blonde... Tartarus, I don't even want to think about it. It took the Fates three days to untangle the threads."

Joxer frowned. "Did that have anything to do with that time that the Benevolent Order of Camel Traders was chased with whips through Corinth by that group of women who'd organized an animal protective order?"

Ares nodded. "We managed to hush most of the incidents up, but that one was a little too public to cover, but never mind that. What I'm trying to tell you is that not only don't I find the physical changes brought on by the pregnancy distasteful, I find them downright sexy."

Joxer's eyes got round. "I had no idea you were that kinky."

"Joxer, it's because it's you, and this is happening because of the baby we made together."

Joxer was quiet for a moment, then slipped him a sidelong look. "Sexy, huh?" Ares grinned. "Fat lot of good it does us now."

"Oh, I don't know about that." Ares was eyeing the jar of salve speculatively. "Now, go on and take off your shirt, and I'll treat your belly while I consider this."

Still feeling shy, Joxer unlaced his loose shirt, then removed it. He reflexively crossed his arms over his belly, and Ares said, "Don't try to hide from me."

Joxer was blushing a little as he let his arms drop, and mumbled, "There's really no point in trying, anyway. It'd be like trying to stuff a boulder in a belt pouch."

"Lay down." As Joxer stretched out, Ares dipped his fingers into the salve. With his clean hand he loosened the lacing on Joxer's pants and pushed the waistband down below his husband's stomach. "There it is." He bent over and kissed Joxer just above the navel. "I've been missing this." He began to massage the ointment into the taut skin.

"Yeah, you have been rather fond of my abdomen since you found out I'm pregnant."

"It's the closest I can get to my son, and I'm close to you at the same time--a bonus." Ares felt a push against his hand, and smiled. "Hello, little one." He pressed back, firmly, but gently, then continued to rub, working the ointment into Joxer's skin. "This stuff seems to be working. Your skin is feeling more elastic already."

Joxer nodded. "I'm glad you're helping, because truthfully, I've gotten to where I can't really reach the underside of my belly--not without cramping our kid, anyway."

"I can take care of that."

Ares showed particular attention to the undercurve of Joxer's pregnant belly. After a moment, his hand drifted lower, and Joxer's eyebrows, along with something else, rose slowly. "Um, Ares? That isn't where I'm worried about getting stretch marks."

"No? But it seems to be swelling quite a bit. I really think I should rub a little more of this on, just in case."

Joxer sighed voluptuously as Ares slipped his hand into the opening of Joxer's trousers and continued to caress his hardening prick. He murmured, "As tired as I am lately, I'm liable to drop off to sleep before I can return the favor."

"Joxer, I'm not keeping score." Ares' voice was amused. "Just relax and enjoy it. I spoke to Ace before I came over. He said that if your hemeroids are all right, we can do a little something, so we can try in a day or so."

"Sounds good, but I don't see how."

"If I have to, I'll have Hephastus rig up some sort of sling."

Joxer had closed his eyes, and now he slitted one open again. "Ooo. Kinky."

"The gods have a lot of time to experiment."

Joxer enjoyed a nice, leisurely handjob. Ares was careful to make the buildup slow and steady, so that Joxer's orgasm was almost gentle. He wasn't going to have his very pregnant husband straining himself for anything, not even conjugal bliss. When it was done he cleaned Joxer up, helping him rearrange his clothing.

He'd just finished when there was a sudden flash of red light, and Cupid appeared. This was startling enough--Cupid was usually one of the few who bothered to send some sort of warning before he zapped into their private chambers--usually a dove or a few fluttering hearts. This time there was only the crackle of energy, sparks, and there he was.

The look of him added to the startlement. Cupid was one of the most laid-back gods Strife had ever known, but now he was almost humming with tension. His wings were ruffled, snowy feather fluffed, and his hazel eyes were almost shooting gold sparks. He stalked over to the sofa, ignoring Joxer (which was also unusual, as he'd always been polite) and ground out, "Where is he?"

Ares' eyes narrowed, and he stood up. As the God of War, and a father, he wasn't going to take that tone of voice from his son, and a fellow deity. "Who are you talking about, and you'd better rethink that tone of voice."

Cupid stopped short, breathing heavily, fists clenched at his side. But he took a moment, and his voice was much more level when he spoke again. "Strife."

Joxer sat forward instantly. "Is something wrong with him?"

Cupid threw up his hands. "Do you want a list?"

"What's he done now?" asked Ares.

"Oh, only made my life a living Tartarus, that's what. Only completely ruined a match I've been busting my balls over. Only gotten me in deep shit with Grandpa and Grandma. Only been his insane, exasperating, trouble causing self!"

"Only done what he was created to do?" Joxer said quietly. There was abrupt silence. Cupid looked at him, blinking. Joxer was gazing at him steadily, and Ares could feel the power in the room rise subtly as Joxer exerted his godhood, sending calmness toward his agitated son. "Perhaps it would help things if you calmed down a little, and gave us a few details."

Cupid nodded a little numbly, then dropped into a chair. "Have either of you heard of Anieli and Damara?" Joxer and Ares both shook their head. "Well, I'm not surprised. They aren't exactly prominent, but they ARE significant. Damara is one of Grandma's priestesses, and Anieli is one of Grandpa's... um..."

"Offspring?" offered Joxer.

"Joxer--God of Tact. A couple of generations removed, but yes, so he's taking an interest in him, and Hera is taking an interest in her. When the mortals showed a little interest in each other, Zeus and Hera decided it would be a good thing if they got together. I was given orders to smooth things along--but the natural way--no arrows or potions." He shrugged. "It's more effort like that, but the spark was there, so I didn't mind, but damn they didn't make it easy. Finally, finally it's their wedding day. I figured things were set. Dad, you didn't have any squirmishes planned for the area, Apollo promised to make sure there was plenty of sunshine..."

Ares frowned. "Don't tell me that you weren't there personally to supervise?"

Cupid rubbed his face. "I was tired--I slept late. I thought I'd make an appearance at the wedding reception. There was no reception, because there was no wedding. Dad, I have never seen that sort of uproar, even outside one of Bacchus' festivals gone bad. Hera's priestesses were getting ready to throw down on the groom's friends when I got there. It took me some time before I could get a semi-coherant account of what had happened. There was a whole string of escalating minor disasters leading up to the bride catching the groom groping an old flame, hysterics, and a physical altercation between the couple, complete with creative cursing." He pursed his lips. "If what some of the guests told me is accurate, Dad, Damara must've counceled a few of your more seasoned camp followers to get her vocabulary. Anyway, I took a look around, and Strife's power signature was all over the place. He didn't even try to hide it."

"Why should he?" Again Cupid stared at Joxer. "Well, why should he? He was doing his job, making mischief, right?"

"But Joxer," growled Cupid, "This wedding? It was supposed to be special."

"Did he know that?"

"He..." Cupid trailed off. "He had to." He looked at Ares. "Didn't he?"

Ares shrugged, but Joxer said, "Neither of us knew, and that didn't surprise you."

"Well, yeah, but Strife..." He gestured, searching for words. "He just seems to know things." He scratched his head, and a tinge of doubt crept into his tone. "I figured he knew this."

"He isn't stupid," said Joxer firmly, "and he isn't suicidal--now." Cupid looked at him sharply. Joxer stared back at him, not explaining, then said, "I can see that something is going to have to be done about this, Cupid, and I can see that you're upset, but I want you to remember two things--Strife probably didn't know as much as everyone seems to think he did, and maybe you don't know as much about Strife as you think you do."

Ares patted Joxer's back. "Don't work so hard. Cupid, the God of Peace should have a little peace in his own home. You'd better go take care of this situation." Cupid looked back at Joxer, and they exchanged a long look, then the Love God nodded and vanished. This time the flash was more subdued. Ares said, matter of factly, "Cupid is going to kick Strife's ass." Joxer tipped him a look. "He's my son, Joxer."

Joxer smiled at him enigmatically. "Yes, he is. That's why I'm not worried about what he's going to do to Strife."