Bruce Wayne's POV

It's been quiet in Gotham.

Lord, there are five words I don't get to use too often.

But it has been quiet. They've improved security at Arkham asylum, and it's been months since any of the villains escaped. Selena is going through one of her lucid periods. The less mad super criminals are all safely tucked away doing extended stints in various correctional facilities. That leaves just the usual muggers, rapists, murderers, and thieves. And even they seem to be on some sort of holiday. Dick blames it on a harmonic convergence, but I think he's just trying to annoy me. Teenagers can be such a pain in the butt sometimes.

The inactivity is making both of us a little antsy. We patrol, but nothing comes up. Oh, sure, there was that beer snatch we halted last night, but come on. Three half drunk teenagers trying to make off with a case of Moosehead Beer. Moose head? What's wrong with young people these days? Anyway, the clerk was grateful. I had to restrain her from kicking the miscreants after I had them tied up. Seems this isn't the first time they've done this, and she was out for blood. Dick said I should have turned her loose. Considering some of the language the boys had used, I was half tempted.

*sigh*

I need a vacation. If I'm honest with myself, I've been riding the ragged edge of burn out for years. It's easier since I've had Robin with me, but still... Like Alfred tells me, I can't be responsible for it all. I think it's time for a respite. A brief one, but even a couple of days off should work wonders. Of course I won't announce that I'm leaving the city, and the thought that I might still be roaming around will be enough to put a bit of a damper on the criminal element.

No, I'm not vain. I'm just realistic.

Any way, I think I know what I'll do. Alfred sorts out all the begging mail that comes in. Every day I get up to a dozen or more letters asking for donations or sponsorships. Those are the ones addressed to Wayne Manor. I don’t even try to estimate the numbers that come to the office and my attorneys. A couple of days ago he passed on one that sounded interesting.

Metropolis is having a charity event to fund their free clinic program. That's a worthy cause, and I would have sent a donation in any case. But I'd like the chance to see Kal-El again. It's been awhile. And the celebrity auction they’re going to have sounds fun. I could buy a date there. This would be one instance where I knew for a fact that the woman was going out with me for an unselfish reason.

Yes, yes, I know. "Poor little rich boy, whine some more. Wish I had the chance to deal with your burdens." Well, let me tell you, it's no picnic when the sincerest affection you can be sure of from a woman comes from a half-mad ex-super criminal who believes herself to be a cat. I'm not really complaining, mind you. Selena's feline aspects have certain benefits. But she has a tendency to claw during the more passionate moments. I get enough scars in my work, so I'm not too happy about acquiring more during recreation.

I contacted the Metropolis mayor's office and got a list of the celebrities who are going to be up for auction. They've done pretty well for themselves. They should raise a good deal of money. My old buddy Kal is going up on the block. I have to go to see that, if for no other reason. I wonder what will happen if some very determined, horny matron gets her hands on him? He’s such a straight arrow, he might just die of shock.

Lois Lane will be participating. I've always liked Lois, very sharp woman. I'm rather glad she isn't located in Gotham. I might fear for my secret identity if she was. So, she's a possibility. There are a couple of models and actresses... Boooor-ing. Oh, nice enough. If you want to turn off your brain for an evening.

Huh.

Now this is interesting. Scribe Mozelle. I've been hearing about her. Sounds like a very quirky individual, but then I suppose she's allowed, being from another dimension.

As a matter of fact, one of my advertising executives mentioned her as a possible spokesperson for Wayne Industries just the other day. I vetoed the idea. All right, our image may be 'stuffy', it may not be 'hip' or 'with it', but we've always maintained a certain amount of public dignity. Whatever this woman is, she is not dignified.

And besides, I don't think she would do it. I don't recall seeing her endorsing a single product or company. As far as I know, this charity event is the only thing she's leant her support to. That says something for her. I'm not sure what, but it definitely says something. She's either too dumb to see the possibilities, or doesn't give a damn about promoting herself. I tend to think it's probably the latter. I've seen the pictures, and she does not look like a stupid woman.

Um, er, yes, I've seen a number of the pictures. Quite a few, in fact. All right, most of them. No, I do not have a scrapbook. It's a file. And I don't keep any of those manipulated photos. You know, the one's where they graft her head onto another woman's body, who is... Uh, no I haven't actually seen any of those. *Looks at ceiling* Except for the one that fell out of Dick's notebook. I'm glad I had 'The Talk' with him a few years ago. Of course, he kept snickering while I was trying to explain things, so I'm not entirely sure how clear it was.

I'll have Alfred make the arrangements: tickets, reservations, limo service. Better get him to make them for two. It's on the weekend, so Dick might like to come along. He may even want to participate in the auction. After all, he's eighteen now, so he can make transactions on his own. And I know he's been saving his allowance. Those stock options I've given him for Christmas and birthdays are panning out pretty good, too, so he'll be able to bid competitively, if he wants to.

I just hope he doesn't decide to bid against me for Scribe. That could get a bit awkward...