Batman

Damn it. And Bruce always prides himself on being properly dressed for any occasion. There wasn't much we could do, surrounded by the crowd, and with the bandits armed. We couldn't risk any stray shots.

I admit I was... I suppose 'astonished' is an appropriate term when, Scribe did what she did. I managed to keep my jaw from hitting the dance floor, but only by a few inches, I'm afraid. That Clive person that Dick... um... purchased, whistled and clapped. While I agreed with him in spirit, it just didn't seem like the appropriate time. He grinned at me and said, "Isn't she marvelous? If I'd worn any underwear, I'd throw it at her."

It soon became clear what a clever little girl she is. It turned out to be a diversionary tactic to let Kal-el get somewhere private to get into his work clothes. Once he came out of that supply closet in a blur of blue and red, there was so much confusion that Robin and I were able to crack a few heads together without raising too much suspicion.

Thank goodness for superspeed. Kal had the guns out of their hands and bent into useless pretzles before they knew what was happening. Then it was a REAL free-for-all. Everyone got in on the fun. You know, people think that the upper-crust is pretty wishy-washy, but when they get pissed...

Remember, most of these people have to have a little shark, wolf, or hyena in them to function in the business world the way they do. The animal came out. I even saw one sweet little old lady with hair like white cotton-candy dump crack a crook on the skull with a champagne bottle like he was a new yacht, and she was christening him.

Lois Lane had taken off one spike-heeled pump and was giving 'em hell with it. Jimmy exercised regualarly at the Metropolis Gym, sparring with the Golden Glove candidates, and was giving a very good accounting of himself. And Clive...

I thought hairdresseres were supposed to be prissy things. He was wearing well polished, but hard-toed boots with his evening dress, and I saw more than one crook get lofted off the floor and land flat, clutching his fly and whimpering pathetically. I was very glad that Clive was on my side, as I hadn't worn the Batcup.

The police arrived about the time the bandits realized they had completely lost control of the situation, and made a break for it. They were easily rounded up. The crowd started to have a calming drink and excitedly discuss what had just happened. It looked as if the ball was going to go on as planned.

I was ready to finish off the auction and get it over with, hoping I could persuade Scribe to ditch the rest of the party in favor of a quieter, more intimate affair (yes, the choice of words IS deliberate) back at my hotel suite.

Anyway, I was curious as to what she had done during the broo-ha-ha. She didn't strike me as the type to stand on the side-lines, daintily wringing her hands.

Lois, Jimmy, Dick, Clive, and Clark (who had appeared just after Superman left, surprise, surprise) were chattering together, so I went to them. "Where's Scribe?" They all paused, looking around.

"She was headed toward the kitchens, last time I saw her," said Lois. "I think she was going to call the cops."

I went to the kitchen, and they trailed after me. It was empty. We checked cabinets, and the walk in refrigerator. Nothing.

"She couldn't have been in here long." Jimmy pointed to a plate of donuts. "Those would have been decimated." When Lois looked at him, he shrugged. "Hey, she admits it. She's proud of it."

Clive was looking around. "You can't get back into the hotel any way but through the room we were in. The only other door is that exit, which has to lead into the alley." He frowned. "I don't like this. If she went out the back for help, she'd have returned by now."

"Maybe she went home?" Dick suggested.

Clive shook a finger at him. "Not my lamb! She wouldn't run off and leave her friends like that."

"I have to agree," Lois added. "I think she would have called someone, t hen come back in and started cracking heads."

"So what happened?"

"Hey!" Jimmy bent and picked something up off the floor by the exit. "It's a sequin!"

We went into the alley. We searched quickly, but thoroughly. There was no place she could have hidden out there. Then Lois cried, "Oh no!" and swooped up something from the ground.

"What is it?" We gathered around her.

She turned it over in her hands in distress. "It's her chaplet! She was here, and something happened to her!"

Clive nodded. "Scribe would never run off and leave an accessory if she had any choice in the matter. She's been 'napped!"

"I thought they got all the crooks," Lois wailed. "Was there a second group coming in through the back, and they decided to snatch her?"

"Has anyone seen Lex Luthor since the robbery began?" We all turned to look at Clark. He was very pale, and very grim.

Looks were exchanged, heads nodded. I said, "Okay, I happen to think that if anything has happened, he's responsible, but I'm prejudiced, so I'll play devil's advocate here for a minute. No one saw him with her after the robbery began?" They shook their heads. "Did he seem at all involved with any of the bandits?"

"Aside from having complete contempt for them, no." said Lois.

"Has he threatend or harassed her in any way in the past?"

Jimmy cleared his throat, and said grudgingly. "Well, I don't know it you could technically classify it as that. He never actually made any verbal or physical advances or threats that I'm aware of. But the man's attitude..."

I sighed. "Son, if people could be jailed for bad attitudes, almost everyone would do time at some point, and our prisons would burst at the seams. Is there any solid evidence to suggest that he might have abducted her besides the fact that they're both gone."

Jimmy scowled. "He... he was lusting after her."

Clive patted him on the shoulder. "Dear boy, I lust after her, you lust after her, I'm reasonably certain friend Kent and Miss Lane lust after her, and I believe, judging from the way he was bidding, that the feeling isn't entirely new to Mr. Wayne. Anyone who's had access to a magazine since she arrived could reasonably be accused of the same. It won't hold up."

"There isn't any concrete proof, proof that would hold up in court, or convince a judge to give us a search warrant," I said.

"So, that's why we aren't going to do anything?" Jimmy huffed.

"No." I said calmly. "That's why we aren't going to rely on the police> to do anything."