*Crash*

"Oop."

*thudthudthudthud* *scree* "Oh, crap."

Cupid's voice floated back to tha bedroom. "Strife? What happened?"

"Ya know when we moved everythin breakable up outta Imp's reach?"

"Yes?"

"Ya know that vase Demeter gave us fah our commitment gift?"

"Oh, crap."

"Exactly."

Cupid came in just as I was carefully liftin Imp away from tha shards of pottery. "Apparantly tha lil booger has grown anutha inch."

Cupid sighed. "Well, I never did like that vase."

Imp pointed at tha mess on tha floor. "Oop, Da. Oop, Pa."

I giggled an' snuggled my nose against her soft, plump cheek. "Yah, that's right, baby--a nice, big oops. Gave Pa a nice lil energy nibble, there."

Cupid had materialized a flat pan an' a little whisk broom, an' was sweepin up tha shards. "I thought that I knew how to godling-proof a temple, since I did it once with Bliss. Imp seems to be exploring new territories of mischief." I raised an eyebrow at him, an' he laughed, "Yes, right, forget I said that."

Bliss came in, muchin on a handful of grapes. "Imp break something else?" I pointed. "Oh," he said dismissively. "It was ugly, anyway." He offered Imp a grape, and she reached for it eagerly.

I pulled her back. "No ya don't! Bliss, no grapes. Remembah tha last time?" Imp had gotten excited at tha wrong moment an' had inhaled a grape. Yeah, it couldn't kill her, but SHE didn't know that, an' it was absolutely no comfort ta me at all while she was wheezin an' turnin blue. Cupid was tryin ta hold her upside down so he could thump her on tha back, an' of course she was squirmin like a basket of eels.

Joxer took her away from him, an' sat, holdin her on his lap with her back against his belly. Then, on each side, he laid two fingahs on her belly, ovah her lil button, but undah her ribs. Then he quickly pressed up an' in. She wheezed. He did it again, an' she spit tha grape out an' started cryin. A coupla minutes latah Ares walked in an' wanted ta know why tha Tartarus I was kissin his consort stupid. I asked Joxer how he knew what ta do, an' he said that as clumsy an' accident prone as he was when he was mortal, learin stuff like that had been a mattah of survival.

Bliss nodded his understandin, pullin back tha offered grape. Imp told him, loud an' long, that she wasn't pleased with havin her prospective snack taken away. Bliss's eyes got round. "Wow, Imp! What a mouth on you!"

I looked at Cupe, who was sniggerin. "I'd give a bucket of dinars ta know what tha Tartarus she's sayin."

"She's been awful fussy lately. I'll be glad when she gets done teething," Cupid sighed.

"I'll be glad if this one will just make an appearance an' get it ovah with. She's crankier than a horde of Amazons with synced monthlies."

"Ah!" she said loudly. Then that bottom lip stuck out, an' big, fat tears welled up in those bright green eyes, an' started streakin down her smooth cheeks.

"Aw, Imp!" I hugged her, an' she moaned, letting it rise into a wail that woulda done credit to a harpy. I pulled back an' wiggled a fingah in tha ear that had gotten tha worst of it. "Yah, baby, I know it hurts. There was that time I caught a bouldah in tha mouth when Mom was on a tear ovah somethin I did, an' she blackmailed Apollo inta making sure that I didn't heal instantly." I snorted. "Oath of healin my ass. I had ta grow tha damn teeth back, an' it aches like nobody's business when they get ready ta cut through tha gums." She gabbled agreement. "An' you can't even get pissy drunk ta help it, can ya?"

"She most certainly can't. Where are her teething toys?" said Cupid.

Bliss glanced around. "Prob'ly everywhere. She drags them all over, then just leaves them. I found one in my sandbox, and I think I saw Mjau playing with one over at Granpa's place yesterday."

"I think I know where one is." Cupid went to tha table. There was a bowl of snow (courtesy of Gaia, it nevah melted) sittin there. Cupid dug inta it, an' came up with a smooth marble wring, not quite big enough ta be used as a bracelet. He brought it back and offered it ta our daughtah. "Here, Imp. Nice and cool. It'll feel good on your poor gums."

Imp reached fah it, but when she touched it, she jerked her hands back, goin, "Buurr, Da."

"Yes, it's cold, but it will help." He touched it to her lips. She opened her mouth, an' he eased the rim of tha ring inta her mouth. She tentatively bit down on it, an' her eyes got real big. She made a pleased sound, an' grabbed at tha ring, startin ta chew on it. "That's better, isn't it, love?" She mumbled around her mouthful, lettin go with one hand ta reach out an' pat Cupe's cheek. "You're welcome, baby."

Bliss had taken tha filled pan an' gone out ta dump it in tha trash. He came back. "Is Imp gonna be able to eat real people food when her teeth come in?"

"Well, she ain't gonna be tearin off a chunk of roast any time soon, but we'll starte experimentin, lettin her have different things," I told him. "She's still gonna be on bread an' mushy stuff for awhile."

Bliss made a face. "Yuck."

Bliss nodded, drool oozing around tha ring ta string down her chin. "Uck."

"Tough titty, kiddo, an' ain't I glad I gotcha weaned before this started? Anyways, Cupe who was that in front?"

He blinked, mouth doin that 'O' thing that gets me so hot. (Yeah, yeah, I know--everything he does gets me hot.) "Tartarus, I forgot! There's a huge impromptu orgy that just got started at a village festival in Tellopolis, and she needs me to help her make sure that some important couplings don't get screwed up! I have to go!" He leaned ovah an' pecked me on tha cheek, materializin his bow an' quivah. "Be back soon, maybe an hour."

"Waitaminit! I hafta..." *Flash Gone in a shower of pink sparklies, dammit. I stamped my foot! "I have a war council ta disrupt! Unc's gonna skin my butt if I let 'em make any progress toward battle t'day! Oo!" I started pacin. "What am I gonna do with Imp? Dite's obviously out, Heph has a 'DO NOT DISTURB' ward on his forge cause he's workin on somethin new, Ares an' Joxer took Cord ta Chin for a little culture, aftah what Demeter put Pep through, I ain't lettin her get her mits on my daughtah, Apollo..." I snorted. "Yeah, right, like I'm gonna leave a female relative of mine of ANY age with him." I glanced down at Bliss, who was givin me the wide blue eyes bit. "Uh, not that he'd do anythin, kiddo, but he ain't always that careful about lockin doors when he gets tagetha with the Muses." Bliss nodded, which made me think that I'd hafta ask him about that sometime. Might be blackmail material there. "Pep is downside with Hades, an' I don't think I want Imp visitin Asphodel yet, um..."

"I can watch her."

I looked at Bliss. "Yah, right. Okay, Phobos an' Deimos are out. Hestia's good, but I ain't sure I want Imp around all those ovens..."

"Daddy Strife, I can watch her."

"Look, Bliss, yer a great big brother, an' ya do good, but..."

"You won't be gone long, huh?"

"Um, prob'ly only about an hour. I dunno why they hafta have that freakin orgy at tha same time as the council." I scowled at tha ceilin. "Darn Fates!"

"I can take care of her for an hour." I looked at him. He put his hands on his hips an' stuck out his bottom lip. Damn, he'd nevah be able ta deny sharin blood with Imp an' his daddy. "Daddy Strife! I'm 'most seven by now!"

"In about eight more months."

"Well, I'm more'n halfway there. We're not going anywhere, and you can put up a shield to keep out anything but you, n' Daddy, n' maybe Ace. I can do it!"

"I can see that we're gonna hafta work on yer fractions a little maore, kiddo." I sighed. "Cupid will kick my butt if anything happens. Tartarus with that--he won't have to. I'll just throw myself off Olympus. But..." I eyed Bliss. He stood up real straight, wearin 'responsible expression #2'. *We've gotten everything breakable put away, daylight so tha torchs aren't lit an' we don't hafta worry about fire. I can block up tha bathin room, an' tell him not ta feed her anythin...*

"Youse thinking an awful long time, Daddy Strife."

I sighed. "Yah, this should be a good experience for ya both." I settled Imp on tha rug (we put in a lotta rugs aftah we noticed goosebumps on her legs when she was crawlin ovah tha marble), an' tucked a few wisps of green-brown hair behind her ears. "Ya know, Impster, yer so far ovah that bald stage that I think ya may end up givin Pep a run fah tha title of Hair Queen." I kissed her forehead. "You be good fah Bliss, an' I'll let ya pull my hair when I get back."

"You let her do that anyway," Bliss observed.

I whispahed, "Don't tell her that. I need all tha bargainin chips I can get." I kissed him on toppa his blonde curls. "I know I don't gotta tell ya to be careful, Blissy. You're a big guy, so you'll know what ta do. I'm puttin up tha shield as soon as I'm gone, an' I'll be back as fast as I can." I hesitated. "If Cupe gets back before I do, maybe we don't gotta mention this to him, huh?"

Bliss smiled at me. "Mischief, huh?"

I giggled. "Well, I'd rathah not this kind, but yah, I guess so." I twiddled my fingahs at him. "Be back soon."

*Flash* I can't tell ya what exactly I did at tha council. A lil jock itch ta make one side irritable, some bad breath ta offend tha other, a few marks on battleplans ta make it look like someone was eithah incompetent or subversive, changin a few figurahs on what would be provided in tha way of support (weapons, supplies, men) so that someone looked chinchy. What's tha diff? It worked. I had a nice fistfight goin when I left. It'd take 'em a week or more ta get back ta where they could talk without a snarl in their voices.

I was just about ta leave, job well done, when Cupid flashed in nexta me. "Eep! Uh, Cupe! I thought ya hadta..."

"You'd be surprised at how quickly an orgy can come to a halt when some of the participants get food poisoning. One upchucks, and there's a sort of a chain reaction, and the mood is kind of spoiled. Babe, I'm sorry, I completely forgot you had this scheduled today. Who'd you get to stay with Bliss and Imp?"

"Uh..."

Cupid frowned. I could see him mentally tickin ovah tha possibilities in his mind, an' comin ta tha same conclusions I had. Tha frown deepened fah a second, an' he looked at me. I think I was sorta squinched up like I usedta be when I nevah knew when a fist might come flyin at me from nowhere. His look softened. "Bliss is babysitting?" I nodded warily.

Ta my eternal relief, he hugged me. "That's great, babe. It's about time he started taking a little responsibility. Still, let's get back there--now."

"Ya don't gotta convince me!"

*Flash*

I've heard that when be appear tagetha, it's kinda pretty, tha way tha pink an' blue sparklies mingle--sorta like one of those Roman candle things they make in Chin (an' why tha Tartarus tha Romans got ta stick their name on such a cool thing, I'll nevah know).

We appeared in our bedroom. A quick glance around showed that it was empty. "Bliss?" I called.

"We're in my room!" Bliss called. "Imp's fine."

"Didn't ask, but thanks anyway."

Cupid said, "Hon, I'm going to go grab a quick bath, okay?" He shuddered. "I managed to keep from getting soiled, but seeing all that upchuck makes you fell kind of grubby." He headed toward tha bathroom.

I decided ta take off my boots before I went in ta visit tha kids. I didn't want Bliss ta think that I was runnin ta check up on him. I walked around tha bed ta sit on 'my' side (yeah, don't ALL married couples have 'their' sides of tha bed?), an' stopped short. You think Bliss has wide eyes? Ya shoulda seen mine right about then--I think I managed a square yard.

The *ahem* goodie box wasn't tucked neatly undah tha bed anymore. It was dragged out beside it, an' it was open. That thing wasn't s'posed ta be out unless tha brats were both tucked safely in bed, or visitin somewhere. "Oh, man! Bliss!"

*patterpatterpatter* "Yes?" I pointed. "Ididn'tdoititwasImpitwasn'tmyidea."

"Nice try."

He shrugged. "Well, she was crawling around, and she crawled under the bed. I tried to pull her out, but she had hold of it, and wouldn't let go, and I didn't want to hurt her, so I pulled it out. Then you know how she uses stuff to stand up? Well, she pulled up on it, and she played with the catch, and started pushing it up."

"Ain't any way she coulda done that alone, Bliss. Her arms are too short."

He sighed. "Okay, I opened it, but Daddy Strife, you know how she gets when she wants something."

I nodded. It was harder ta refuse Imp than it was ta... Crap, I have a hard time comin up with a comparison. But she can eithah do a harpy impersonation, or give ya tha big eyes, or tha tremblin lip, an' ya just cave. I couldn't deny her anythin that wasn't actually bad for her. I knew I was gonna hafta grow a spine tah deal with her sometimes soon, but I was enjoyin indulgin her.

He was still talkin. "Anyways, I didn't think it would be too much of a bad. She was tired of playing with her stuff and my stuff, and I've heard you and Daddy call this your toy box, so..."

"Bliss! Ya didn't!"

*blink* "Didn't what?"

I gave tha contents of tha box a quick scan. Yah, it wasn't as full as it shoulda been, but I didn't take tha time tah see what was missin--I just headed fah Bliss's room.

I screeched ta a halt just inside tha door. Imp was sittin in tha middle of Bliss's rug, perfectly safe, an' whole, an' *coughcoughcough* amusin herself.

*Whoop!* *snortgigglesnort* *Bwhaaa haaa haaaa haaaaaa!*

*sniff*

I'm sorry. It still gets ta me. I almost fell on Bliss, I was laughin so hard. "Cupe! Get yer feathahd butt in here--now!

"

*thudthudthudthud* "Babe! What's wrong? Is Imp...?"

He bumped inta me. I grabbed him. "Cupe, get hold of yerself, an' just remembah--we're careful. Everythin gets washed real good before it's put away, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

I moved aside so that he could get a look at ouah daughtah. Imp looked up at him an' gave him tha gums in a big grin. Then she stuck our cock ring back in her mouth an' started chewin on it.

"That... that... that...?"

"Yer cute when ya stuttah, an' yah, that is what ya think it is. Ya do realize that I'm nevah gonna be able ta use that again?"

"Strife, this isn't funny! It's..." he wrinkled his nose, "disgusting."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't wanna say anythin, cause there's delicate ears around, but I nevah noticed you havin a problem with..."

"But that's my little girl! She kisses me with that mouth!"

"Hey, it coulda been worse."

"How?"

"Lookit what she's usin as a rattle."

He looked. Sure enough, clutched in tha othah chubby hand was a string of beads, each one about as big as a good sized marble. She saw us lookin, an' shook 'em vigorously, clatterin 'em on tha floor. Then she held 'em up, showin 'em to us. "Yah, baby, I'm intimately familiah with those." I looked ovah at my husband, wigglin my eyebrows. "As is yer othah daddy."

Cupid turned red from his hair roots tah tha middle of his chest. Sheesh, it usually takes me at least ten minutes of intense foreplay ta get him that shade. Fah a split second I was worried that he was gonna blow. Then he started laughin. That started me off again, an' pretty soon we were sorta proppin each othah up.

Bliss just stared at us. He went ovah an' sat nexta Imp, sayin, "Don't worry, Imp. Grownups get that way sometimes."

We were finally down tah just tears an' chuckles. Cupid wiped his eyes. "Oooh-kay, that was interesting." I giggled. "Yeah, laugh. We're going to have to replace those, along with finding something else we can give her to keep her from getting ticked at losing them."

"Right. Kinda lookin forward ta that, actually. I just love testin out new toys with ya."

Imp had dropped her othah toys, an' was playin with her doll. That's what I thought at first glance. I looked a little closah. Yah, it was wearin a dress, but it was distinctly male. As male as it's possible fah an inanimate object tah get, if ya know what I mean. An' it gave me an idea. Someday in tha future, I'm gonna inspire someone tah dress cocks up in clothes an' make pictures of 'em. I'm sure it'll look even funnier than our dildo did.

I looked at Cupe. "But first, we gotta get a padlock."