*pitpatpitpatpitpat*

I was layin on my belly, one arm hangin off tha bed, tha othah across the warm, risin an fallin plain of Cupe's chest. I tilted my chin an' slitted one eye open. This gave me a good view of tha door ta Impetua's bedroom. As I expected, I caught a glimpse of gold curls an' white feathahs as Bliss tiptoed inta his sistah's room. I studied tha faint slant of sunlight on tha wall. Crap, couldn'ta been more'n a half hour past dawn.

Tahday was Impetua's very first natal day. She was too little tah know what was goin on, of course, but fah tha past week, Bliss had been more'n excited enough fah both of 'em. He'd been told ta wait till a decent houah ta get up, but... Well, just goes ta show ya that 'decent' is a relative term. Eh, I couldn't blame 'im, really. I was pretty fuckin excited myself. I expect I'da been up even earliah than him if it wasn't fah tha fact that his daddy had fucked me senseless last night, bless his heart.

I rolled my head tha othah way, studyin Cupe. Damn, he's sexy when he sleeps. An' when he fucks, an when he eats, an when he's thinkin, an when he pouts, an when... Ya get tha idea. I pulled my hand up onta his chest an rubbed a little circle. He purred in his sleep, but he didn't open his eyes. I grinned, an' pinched one soft, brown nipple. Those hazel eye flew open with a gasp, an' I put a finger ta my lips. "Shhhh."

He whispahed. "Not that I don't love it when you wake me up sexy, but..."

I pinched again, but gave 'im a little rub, too. "I said 'sh'." I tipped my head toward Impetua's bedroom, liftin my eyebrows. He listened.

We could hear Bliss whisperin. Yah, I know, but tha kid can whispah louder'n some people can talk. "Imp? Imp, you awake?" *pause* Ya know, I think that if pokin or shakin someone made a noise that I'da heard it right about then. "Iiiiimp?"

"Uh? Aye Biss."

"G'morning, Impy. Happy first natal day! I'm the very first one to wish you happy natal day! You wanna get up?"

*yawn* "Uh huh. Up!"

"Okay, stand up, an' hold up your arms." *grunt* *scuff* (I think that was Bliss, staggerin a little) "Wow, Imp, you're getting big!"

"Ah!"

"Not fat!" Bliss said hastily, "Just big! You're a big, grown up girl now."

*coo*

I whispahed to Cupe. "Can't tell that kid is part Dite's, huh?"

Cupe whispered back, "Yeah, he covers real good."

"Okay, we're not awake, 'kay?"

"You betcha." We both closed our eyes an' played dead.

"Sh, be quiet now, and we'll sneak up on the daddies, huh?"

*giggle* "Ump! Ump!"

"Yeah, you can jump on 'em, but remember, be careful where you put your feet an' knees, cause guys got dangly bits, an' it hurts when you thump them."

*I love that kid,* I thought. Despite what some people think, I can do a pretty damn good pokah face when I wanna, so I did. It wasn't easy. I could hear the *pitpitpitpit* *pause* *pat-pat-pat-pat* of Imp followin Bliss toward tha bed, with Bliss whisperin an' encouragin her all the way. While they came ovah I nudged Cupe till he moved ovah a coupla inches. Then I quickly slid ovah toward tha middle of tha bed, too, cause I knew what was comin.

They reached tha bed. There was a coupla minutes while Imp struggled up onta tha mattress. When Bliss got undah her, braced his back against her butt, an' heaved up, he managed ta give her enough lift fah her ta scramble onta tha mattress. Then he held onta her while she staggered up onta her feet. This was tha part that always worried me, but I was careful ta keep one eye cracked. Tha first sign of wobblin in tha wrong direction, an' I'd snatch her.

I didn't hafta worry about that t'day. Imp took a deep breath, then squealed an' lunged. She managed ta fall across both of us, laughin fit ta bust. It was worth tha lost breath.

Cupid an' I both yelled, actin like she'd surprised tha crap outta us. "I was yellin, "Harpies! How did harpies get in? Help, save me!"

About then Bliss pounced inta tha middle of things, doin his deepest voice (he managed alto instead of treble), "I'll save you, Daddy Strife!"

We wrestled. Feathahs flew, white an' silver-gray. Finally we all ended up in a big, warm pile in tha middle of tha bed, pantin an' gigglin. I dug Imp out from undah Bliss, smoothed her browny-green curls an' feathahs, then kissed her on tha nose. "G'mornin, Imp. Happy first birthday, my big girl."

Get this--she raised an eyebrow at me. "Dah?"

"Big girl, not fat girl--just like Bliss said."

She kissed me on tha chin. "Yah."

Cupid held out his arms. "My turn."

I handed Imp ovah for a snuggle, while I pulled Bliss inta my lap. He hugged my neck, then whispahed, "You sure are good at playing possum, Daddy Strife. Imp liked it a lot."

"Huh. I guess there's not a lot we can put ovah on you, huh, kid? Leave me a few cherished illusions, though."

Tha party was scheduled fah tha aftahnoon. We tried ta spend a relaxin mornin, but... well... If ya have kids, ya know how it is. Imp was too young ta really know what a birthday was, but Bliss wasn't, an' Bliss was almost wet- yer-toga excited, so of course Imp caught on to it, an' she got antsy.

Bliss wanted ta skip breakfast so he'd have plenty of room fah tha birthday feast. Since big brothah didn't wanta eat, Imp didn't wanta eat. I got them both ta feed their faces by tellin Bliss that he hadda set a good example, since he was tha big brothah. He caved, an' even pretended like he was about ta starve ta death so that Imp would eat a good meal. I wondah how long that 'you gotta set a good example' is gonna work before he starts gettin pisses off about it. I've used that ploy fah years now. It works almost as good as 'why can't you be more like your big brother?' does fah tha babies of the family.

Then everyone took a bath. Imp an' Bliss took tha shell tub, an' I used some of that pink bath bubbles that Dite had started makin fah Imp as soon as she could sit up enough ta use tha tub. Cupe an' me took tha sunken bath, but there wasn't any fun futtzin around, cause we hadda keep an eye on tha kiddos. Yah, Bliss was doin a good job with Imp, but he was still just shy of seven. Even level headed lil dudes can be ovahwhelmed by responsibility, an' we weren't gonna let takin care of Imp become a chore instead of a joy.

Next on tha agenda was special appearances at a coupla Cupid's temples. I have so few that it wasn't really a hardship ta make an appearance in each one of 'em, and I gotta tell ya, I was touched. Sure, at Cupe's temples there were throngs of worshipahs, heaps of offerins an' gifts, masses of decorations (first time I'd evah seen more green than pink in a Temple of Love), but...

I don't have all that many followahs compaired ta most of tha othahs, all right? I've learned ta deal with that. I still do bettah than some of tha really minor ones, like Aether an' Humorous. An' yeah, mosta my worshipahs tend ta be on tha youngish side. They pretty much fall away ta othahs by tha time they're in their mid-teens, an' decide what they wanna do with their life.

But there were at least a few worshipahs at every one of my temples. What really got me is that we decided ta visit a few of tha altars that Unc has set up fah me inside his temples, an' there were even some of 'em there. Ya got any idea how much guts an' determination it takes fah twelve year old girls ta go inta Ares' Temple ta honor their chosen goddess?

There was a little group of 'em in Unc's temple in Athens, huddled tagetha in fronta my altar. Twelve year old girls are pretty much tha same everywhere I guess, cause as intimidated as they were, they were still managin ta giggle.

Tha spokesgirl was a skinny lil thing, all eyes an' hair. She had their offerin--an armload of wildflowahs, an' a pretty seashell, "Cause it's browny-green, like her hair," she said shyly, offerin it up. She almost plotzed when I leaned down an' let Imp take it from her. Imp promptly began ta chew on it, smilin at tha kid. Then she pointed at tha girl an' said, "Snug, Da. Snug." I grinned, leaned ovah again, an' Imp gave tha girl a big hug around tha neck, an' a only slightly slobbery kiss on tha cheek. Imp immediately started crowin an' kickin', an' I could tell by tha looks on tha othah girls' faces that she'd just got a nice energy boost.

Finally it was time fah Imp's party. Me an' Cupe had discussed it a lot, an' we were havin it in the Elyssian Fields. Yah, yah, I can hear ya now--havin yer kid's natal day party in tha Underworld? Hear me out.

It was spring, so Persephoney was topside, an' Unca Hades gets really bummed when she isn't around. I keep hopin that they'll have kids so he'll have somethin else in his life, but that would present it's own problems, ya know? Tha kids would need ta stay with their mom when they were little, an' then Hades would have even more ta miss during spring an' summah. An' I'm pretty sure that Demeter would try ta pull some sorta crap ta keep tha babies away from him even more, an'... Complicated, ya know?

Unc Hades doesn't get that many visitahs ta start with, an' no one evah thinks ta bring kids down. An' Hades loves kids, nevah let anyone tell ya different, even if he is a sorta gloomy cuss mosta tha time. I mean hell, look at tha Elyssian Fields. That's where all tha kids go, an' he's made it perfect fah them, with meadows, an' flowahs, an' creeks an' ponds fah swimmin an' fishin, an' lotsa animals ta play with, an'... Tartarus, come ta think of it, it wouldn't be a bad vacation spot. Ya wouldn't hafta worry much about unwanted relations an' friends droppin in.

Anyways, tha party would be great fah tha kids who lived in Elyssia, an' it would give Bliss an' Imp lots more kids ta play with (not too many child godlings around these days). We got special permission ta zap right in, so that Imp didn't hafta deal with passin through tha admittedly freaky areas ya hafta traverse ta reach it.

Dite, Mom, an' (don't faint, now), Jayce had gotten tagetha on tha decorations an' entertainment. It was in tha prettiest meadow there. There were candy-colahed canopies here an' there fah anyone who wanted ta lounge out of tha sun. There was a fountain that spouted pink punch fah tha kiddies, an' one that spouted somethin a little strongah fah tha adults. Not much strongah, though. I'd put my foot down with Dionysius about that, so tha wine was watahed. He'd almost cried ovah that, but I didn't want my baby's first party ta end up as a drunken orgy. There'd be plenty of times fah those latah in tha century.

There was a big table, runnin from one side of tha meadow to tha othah, an' it was groanin undah plattahs an' bowls of every type of food ya could imagine. I'd even made a few trips through tha Halls of Time ta bring back some delicacies from tha future. Tha crisp thingies covhaed in melted cheese an' peppahs were real populah. So were tha teeny, weeny bright colahed buttons that were filled with that terrific stuff Dite intraduced me to when I was pregs--chocolate. I think they must be real expensive, cause each an' every one of them was marked with M&M. Damn, two thousand apiece? Hey, nothin is too good fah my princess.

The showpiece was tha cake that Hestia had just about busted a gut ovah. Tha sucker was as tall as Bliss was. I know, cause I caught him standin on tha table, measurin. Damn, I love that kid. It was so heavy that they'd set it up on a marble slab, aftah tha table started makin ominous groanin noises. Hestia had coated tha whole thing in sugary almond paste, an' it was covered in real flowahs an' sugah figuahs of things like stars.

Since Imp couldn't very well cut tha thing (I keep all my knives well outta her reach), Cupe held her up an' let her dig a double handful outta tha top layer. There were a few groans on that, but what tha Tartarus did they expect from my kid? At least she didn't fling it at anyone. Well, not that handful, anyway. She waited till she had a platefull, complete with whipped cream. *snicker* Hera hadda change her toga three times.

I nearly fainted at how decent Zeus was actin. He didn't try ta hog tha spotlight, he didn't try ta make any speeches. Well, he did sorta try ta grab a little attention by doin tha flashiest bit fah tha party. He actually brought Pegasus an' let tha kiddies have 'pony rides'. Oh, man! Imp was so excited that... Let's just say that she ain't quite past tha diapah stage yet, an' Pegasus is a real patient animal with little kids.

Everyone had a great time. I noticed Jayce flirtin with Aether. Yeah, I think those two might have a lot in common. Wouldn't be surprised if Jayce came ta visit Joxer fah awhile an' sorta hung out, ready fah visitors. I know that's what happened when Jett an' Phonos were courtin. Somehow, though, I think tha stress level at Unc's place will be lower this time. Ya just gotta kinda worry about what courtin involves with tha God of Murder an' tha King of Assassins. Joxer said that Jett sent word that his gift ta Imp was one free assassination of her choice whenever she was of age ta make such decisions. *sniff* Family can be so good sometimes.

Tha party was windin down some (read--tha kids had pretty much exhausted themselves an' tha adults, an' weren't quite to tha whiney stage yet), when Joxer an' Unc came ovah ta were our little family had half collapsed. Bliss was snorin with his head in Cupe's lap (I don't think he got much sleep tha night before).

Joxer was carryin' a bundle of blankets. It was squirmin. I woulda thought it was Accord except fah two things--it was too small, an' Unc had Accord ridin on his hip. Joxer said, "It's time to give Imp our present."

I raised an eyebrow. "That looks live, Jox."

"Um, yes. We've discussed this with Cupid."

"Oh, yes?" I looked at my husband, who was grinnin at me. "And you kept me out of this why?"

"Because I was pretty sure you'd be tickled by the idea anyway. Just wait."

Joxer squatted down in fronta me. Imp was watchin him closely. Joxer is one of Imp's favorite people. Not surprisin--he's terrific with kids. Imp held out her hand to him. "Ganpa Oxy!"

"Hello, Sweetpea. Me and Grandpa Reese have a special present for you. Do you want to see it?"

She looked at him. "Duh!" Everybody around busted out laughin. Dite hadda lean on Heph. Joxer smiled. "Oh, and whose little girl are you, I don't wonder." He gently placed the blanket on the ground in fronta us.

I set Imp on her feet, an' she toddled ovah to it. She was reachin for it when it twitched. She jerked her head back, wide-eyed, then reached fah it again. Twitch. Jerk. She frowned, an' reached again. A white, furry head popped outta tha folds. *Meow!*

Imp gasped an' flopped on her bottom, while everyone roared. Tha white kitten struggled outta tha blanket. I was about ta tell someone ta catch it, so it wouldn't run away, but I didn't need ta. It minced ovah ta Imp an' put its front feet on her leg, starin up inta her face. It was a pretty little thing--slick furred, snowy white, except fah an oval shaped black patch that started between its ears an' ran between its eyes, almost ta its pink nose. An' its eyes... I could see immediately why Joxer woulda thought of givin it ta Imp. They had tha same eyes--bright green, an' a little slanted. Imp stared at tha kitten. Tha kitten stared at Imp. Then it butted its head up undah her chin, purrin, an' she giggled.

"A cat." I started gigglin.

Cupid grinned. "Yeah, I didn't think you'd have a problem with it. After all, they're some of the greatest mischief makers in the animal kingdom.

"Yah, yer right there. So, what is it, a queen or a tom?"

Cupid, who can be pretty damn direct about anythin havin ta do with anatomy, picked the kitten up an' looked undah its tail. It squawked, scramblin around, an' he put it down before it could get its teeny lil fish hook claws inta him. It ran behind Imp an' hid between her wings, hissin an' cussin in kitty language. "It's a girl," Cupid announced.

"Mine!" Imp reached back, grabbed tha cat by tha scruff of tha neck, an' dragged her inta a hug. Luckily fah tha cat it didn't raise a claw or a fang. It was pretty obvious that they were gonna be soulmates. It gazed up at Imp adorinly an' made chirpy noises.

"Yah, that's right, kiddo--your kitty. What ya gonna name her?"

Imp looked down at the cat. Tha cat looked up at her. "Priss."

Tha cat blinked. *pppprrriss?*

Imp nodded. "Priss."

*purrrrrrrr*

Zeus was watching this, shaking his head. "Well, I'm afraid that my gift is going to be quite a come-down after that." He shifted, an' I'll be damned but tha old coot looked embarrassed. "Look, I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. I didn't have a lot of choices in this matter, and frankly, a cat never occurred to me. But I had to come up with a symbol for Impetua's godhood."

Cupid an' me exchanged looks. "What is it?" Cupe asked.

Zeus sighed, an' held out his hand. A shiny green circlet, about tha size of a bangle bracelet appeared on his palm. We leaned closer an' looked.

It moved. It wiggled, an' a little red ribbon flickered out of one end.

Cupid jumped up, yellin, "Snake!"

Have I mentioned that he has this thing about snakes? Bliss was hangin onta his leg, cryin cause he was scared an' confused, an' tha rest of tha Pantheon wasn't much bettah. Tha only ones who didn't look tha least bit freaked were the Asphodel natives. Hecate was cooin ovah it.

Cupid's voice was high-pitched. "Strife! Quick, get Imp away from that thing."

"Chill, Cupe. It's harmless."

"What do you mean, it's harmless? It's a snake!

"Yah, I noticed. Specifically, it's a grass snake." I pointed. "Look, Imp, isn't it pretty? See how it's emerald on tha back, an' sorta pastel on tha belly? An' look at those teensy, tiny eyes! Look like lil jet beads, don't they?"

"Strife, snakes are not cute!" Cupe almost wailed.

"Depends on who ya talk to, Cupe. If ya don't give her a complex about it, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Anyway," said Zeus. "It's not exactly a real snake. It's the embodyment of her godhood--jealousy and envy. Though it seems to be a very nice little snake, for all that. Watch."

Tha snake started ta coil itself up. It did two loops, then stiffened. Zeus offahed it ta me. I took it an' examined it, then offahed it to Cupid. "You have to be kidding!"

"Nah, look, Cupe. It's great."

He looked. It was now made of tiny, thin flakes of jade an' alabaster, an' tha eyes were jet beads. "Oh. Oh, wow. Not my taste in jewelry, but nice."

Zeus took it, and slipped it up on Imp's right arm. It tightend just a little, an' stayed there--a very nice armband. "When it gets bigger, it can be a necklace." He shrugged. "Depending on how big it gets, she might even get a belt out of it. It will remain in this form till she's more matured, then we'll teach her how to command it, and let it transform from animate to inanimate. In the meantime, any peril to Imp will activate it, and it will immediately go to the first responsible divinity for help." He raised his voice. "So, listen up, people. If this thing shows up suddenly, and Imp isn't with it, sound the alarm."

"I'm still not sure about this," Cupid said warily.

"Ya got years ta get used ta tha idea," I assured him. Priss was pawin at tha snake. Bliss had calmed down an' come ovah fah a look. I think he was a little envious, cause Imp was gigglin an awful lot. "It's gonna need a name, too. Cupe?"

He raised his hands, palms out. "Don't ask me. I don't have the first clue about how to tell the sex of a snake. Even if I could, I'm not about to look close enough to do it."

I looked at Imp. "Imp? Whatcha gonna call it?"

She ran a fingah ovah tha scales. "Hiss."

Priss batted at tha snake. *sssssss* "Not you, furball," I told her. I grinned. Imp chortled. A lot of tha Pantheon looked nervous. "Priss, Hiss, an' Imp. Olympus has a new triumverate. Fear them." I hugged my baby girl. "Ooo, life is definitely gonna be interestin."