"Strife, it's only going to be a couple of hours. I'm sure one baby bag will be enough." Cupid pulled tha third bag outta my hands an started ta sort some stuff from tha second one inta tha first.

"I just wanna be prepared."

"I know, babe, but believe me, you won't need more than ten diapers, not even at the rate Imp can dribble."

I fidgeted. "What's takin 'Dite so long? How long does it take ta dress a baby?"

"Hello? This is my Mom we're talking about here, and this is the first little GIRL she's managed to get her hands on in centuries. This is the woman who can have an orgasm picking out accessories, remember?"

"What was I thinkin of, handin our daughtah ovah to her? I love 'Dite, an' all that, but ya gotta admit, her choice of wardrobe is eithah sugary or obscene. I'm afraid Imp is gonna end up in a hip huggah dieddie an' a tube top."

"Imp has no hips, and she couldn't wear a tube top because of the wings. Just chill. I told Mom to keep it down to under two pounds of lace and under no circumstances to use sequins, rhinestones, or glitter."

I giggled. "Tryin ta give her a stroke from frustration, huh?"

"Ever since she put Bliss in short velvet pants."

"I gotta give her credit--she's invented a coupla items that are gonna be REAL useful in my work a ways down tha line."

"Such as?"

"Well, a lotta women are gonna wear somethin called a 'brassier'--sorta a chest sling."

Cupid's forehead puckered. "What kind of mischief could that cause?"

I started tickin off on my fingahs. "One, it's gonna pinch like hell." He winced, and I nodded. "Two, many people will base their value system fah women solely on what size bra... That's tha nickname--bra. I'm gonna plug 'ovah tha shouldah bouldah holdah', too. They'll evaluate a woman's worth by her bra size. Three, they give a lotta opportunities fah dodgin tha 'truth in advertisin' thing. Ya know," I chuckled, "makin mountains outta molehills? An' last, but not least--four, ya got any idea how many guys are gonna go nuts tryin ta figuah out how ta open tha clasp?"

"You're right, you two are perfect co-conspirators."

"An' I ain't even told ya about tha joke undahweah." I slid him a sidelong glance. "Somethin butt ugly called boxah shorts, but they can be kinda cute with tha right decoration. I wouldn't mind seein ya in a pair with tha kissy lips all ovah them."

He leered, pullin me close. "I wouldn't mind seeing some kissy lips all over my underwear, but we don't have to bother with boxer shorts."

Bliss came inta tha room right about then, so we put an inch or two of space between us. Not much--Bliss is a savvy little guy. He knows his daddies love each othah, an' he knows that leads ta some seriously involved cuddlin. I'm not entirely sure he knows tha 'tab A goes in slot B' mechanics, an' I don't intend ta be tha one ta tell him if he don't. Oh, it ain't that I'd be embarrassed. Heck no, I'm just lookin forward ta watchin Cupe try ta explain it. I got tha feelin that, Love God or no, he's gonna do some serious stammerin when Bliss looks at him with those big blue eyes an' asks how ya make babies.

He was wearin... a skirt?! "Bliss, whaddafuck is that?" I pointed.

"Strife!" Cupid scolded.

"All right, all right. I was startled, okay? What tha heck is that?"

Bliss looked down at tha garish garment. It was a sorta cross hatch of black, yellow, green, an' lots an' lotsa red. He sighed. "Ise not sure. Gramma said it's a kilt. I asked her what she kilt to make it, cause I never saw anything that color, an' she said a tartan, an' I told her she should leave the tartans alone cause I was pretty sure they must be a 'dangered specimen, an' Auntie Artie might get mad at her." He sighed again. "She said I had to wear it anyways."

I was almost chokin. On tha one hand tha mere sight of such a garment did my sense of tha ridiculous a world of good. On tha othah hand, I love tha squirt an' would rathah have him humiliated as little as possible. "Cupe, what are we gonna do about this?"

Cupid shrugged. "Us? Nothing. You know what a hissy Mom would have if I re-dressed him."

"But... but Cupe! Ya can't leave him ta tha mercy of what Apollo will say. I mean, fah Zeus's sake..." I waved a hand. "it's pleated!"

"I repeat--we will do nothing." He crooked a fingah at Bliss. "C'mere, baby boy." Bliss trotted ovah, an' Cupe bent down an' whispahed in his ear. Bliss had looked glum, but he started gigglin.

When Cupe stood back up I said, "Give."

He shook his head. "This is between Bliss and myself. You've never had to suffer this--my son and I have both had to deal with 'your mama dresses you funny'."

'Dite came bustlin inta tha room, carryin Imp. "Here's the little princess, ready for her first audience with the world, and looking absolutely gorgeous!" 'Dite tittered. "She must've gotten a lot of my genes."

"We can only hope that yer modesty is included, 'Dite." I held out my hands, an' Dite gave me Imp. Imp looked up at me an' said, *daahaa muh* I took a look at her outfit. "I agree, kiddo. Day-um, but yer lookin good." I held her up so that her legs dangled. "Pink. What a surprise."

Aphrodite shrugged. "It's a little daring, I know, but the women of our family can carry it off."

Imp looked sorta like she'd been draped in pink guaze hankies. Tha hem of her lil dress was sorta scalloped, an' tha material parted in back ta let her wings through. Of course it didn't really mattah right now whethah she went topless or not, but I had been kinda wonderin what we were gonna do when she started sproutin boobs. I mean, I know some of tha Amazons run around with one boob hangin out, but not my kid. At least I wasn't plannin on it. From what we'd learned of Imp's personality so far, I knew I'd bettah not marry myself ta anythin.

Cupid was leanin ovah ta make faces at Imp, admirin her outfit. "Oo, who's a girlie-girl? Look at that--she even has a hair ribbon."

"A hair ribbon? She still hardly has any hair." I looked an' sure enough there was a teeny, tiny pink ribbon bow in tha exact center of Imp's head, clingin ta tha green-brown fuzz. "Well, double dip me..." Cupid started ta open his mouth, an' I said, "Dontcha dare mention that chocolate incident in fronta tha kids. There sure as Tartarus is a bow. I nevah would've credited it. How'd ya do it, 'Dite?"

She polished her fingahnails on her dress. "It's a woman thing--you wouldn't understand."

"Prob'ly not." I hugged Imp, ticklin her ta make her squeal, then paused, sniffin. Bliss noticed, went ta tha baby bag, came back, an' offered me a diapah. "Yer a good big brothah, Blissy, but I don't need that right now. No, I'm smellin somethin sweet." Bliss grinned an' pushed Cupid closah ta me. I laughed. "Nah. Yer dad smells mostly like cinnamon an' sugah cookies these days. This smells more like..." I sniffed again. "I dunno, but it's definitely comin from Imp." I noticed Dite lookin a little nervous an' got suspicious.

I put my nose an inch from Imp's face an' started a systematic smell. She thought this was a great game, an' I had ta rescue my nose once an' my hair twice. She was gettin a lot bettah at grabbin stuff. Finally I zeroed in on tha scent. It was comin from her bow. I squinted down at it an' suddenly saw that it wasn't actually tied ta her hair. That woulda been impossible 'cause, like I said, she only had a little down. Nope, it seemed ta be stuck on by a dab of somethin pale gold an' pasty. I sniffed again an' looked at Dite, who started twitterin. "You know, I really ought to go ahead and see if Apollo needs any help." She started ta emit pink sparkles. "He's wonderful at throwing orgies, but this is a bit more formal occasion, and..."

I glared at her. "Don't you go anywhere, Grandma. You just keep your sparkly butt right here till I check this out, or no babysittin for ya till Imp has kids of her own."

"Strife!" Dite almost had tears in her eyes, but she quit sparklin. I turned back ta Imp, then licked her hair.

"Strife!" Cupid yelped.

"Ooo, gwoss!" Bliss said, soundin impressed.

"Just like I thought. Cupid, yer mothah pasted a ribbon ta our daughtah's head with honey."

"Mom?"

Aprhodite shrugged sheepishly. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

I flashed up a warm, damp cloth an' laid it ovah Imp's head. She got excited.

"Ah!"

"Yeah, baby." I lifted tha hem of tha cloth an' peeked undah at her. "Peekaboo!"

She laughed, an' I started rubbin gently ta wash off tha honey. "Ah!"

I peeked undah tha cloth again. "Pee-pie!" This time I stuck out my tongue. She laughed so hard tha cloth almost fell off. Finally I managed ta wipe tha bow an' tha stickiness offa her head, then smoothed her fuzz back down. "There. 'Dite, ya mean well, but Imp is a long way from tha stage where she's ready ta use honey fah anythin except sweetinin her porridge. An' if ya doubt WHY this wasn't a good idea, I'll say just one word--bugs." She shuddered. I winked at Bliss. "Besides, if Mjau was around he might try ta lick it off, an' Imp would end up as bald as an egg with his raspy tongue."

That got anothah giggle outta him. 'Dite smiled. "Well, it's good to see you looking more cheerful. You were awful gloomy there for awhile. Have you finally decided to like your kilt?"

"Don't make tha kid lie ta ya, 'Dite," I warned her. " Let's go intraduce Imp ta all tha people who mattah." I blinked, an' Imp was wrapped from chin ta toes in a towel.

'Dite moaned. "After all the trouble I go through with that lovely dress..."

"Dite, hello? Transportin. It'll be Imp's first time, an' ya remembah how whoopsie I was till just recently? Ya do want that confection ya wrapped her in ta survive, dotcha?"

"Good point." I tucked Imp's head up undah my chin, holdin on tight. Cupid picked up Bliss, an' we all went tagethah.

*Flash*

We appeahed in Apollo's main temple in Athens. It was loud. Ya know how marble echos, huh? Well, tha place was big, with a vaulted ceiling, an' it was crammed with gods an' mortals. Word had been spread through every membah of tha Pantheon's temples about tha new little goddess who was officially bein presented. Of course, since Gabby an' Iolaus had been present at her birth, tha word had spread even fastah. Those two can spread gossip fastah than Hermes onna good day. Anyways, they shoulda made it by invitation only, cause tha place was crammed. Cupe did a quick fly ovah before he popped in, an' he told me tha streets were so jammed it looked like tha routes ta tha docks in Pompeii aftah tha mountain blew its top.

We had materialized in a little room just off tha main chambah. Yeah, a grand entrance woulda been nice, but I didn't want tha mortals' first glimpse of tha new deity ta be while she was upchuckin. Tha towel worked great. I just pulled it offa Imp, removin all tha sick, then washed her face. She only fussed for a coupla minutes. She was gonna be a tough lil bird.

Besides our lil group Zeus an' Hera were there, in their capacity as King an' Queen of tha gods, an' Apollo was there, since he was hostin tha shindig. I'd just finished wipin Imp's chin when Ares an' Joxer flashed in, Ares carryin Accord on his hip. Ares peered through the door at the throng an' grunted. "My priests should be at the front, but there are only a few of them. I'm going to have to bust some balls for them not showing up for my granddaughter's first showing."

Joxer put a hand on his arm. "Now, Ares..."

He sighed. "Oh, all right. Nothing but a few broken bones."

Mom flashed in behind me. "He's getting soft."

I arched an eyebrow at her. "Yah, Ma? I guess havin kids could do that to ya." She scowled at me, but leaned ovah ta kiss me on tha cheek.

Zeus clapped his hands. "All right, people, let's get this show on the road. I'm sure the parents won't want this too last too long, so the baby won't be tired out, and we need to get as many people through to pay their respects as possible. If the crowd decides that they've been gyped of what they came to see there could be a riot, and those are so annoying."

"Speak fer yerself," I called. As usual, I was ignored.

"Okay, I think the best way to do this is to have the two daddies sit on the main altar, holding Impetua, and the visitors can come up and make a brief obescience. First I'll introduce her, then make a brief speech about the importance of this new godhead..."

"Uh, excuse me?" Apollo was frowning. "It's just that this is MY temple, so I thought that it would be appropriate if I did the introduction." Imp started squirmin an' gigglin, an' Cupid an' me exhanged looks. Imp was gettin her second energy feed. I thought about all tha egos out there an' took a firmer hold on her.

They finally settled on 'pol introducin Zeus. He took about ten minutes ta say, 'Here he is, tha Big Cheese.' Then Zeus took twice as long ta get around ta 'Impetua, daughter of Cupid and Strife, Goddess of Jealousy and Envy.' I held Imp up high. It got real quiett. She stared at everyone, suckin her fist, then cooed. A massive 'aaaaaaaawwwwwww', strong enough ta blow my hair back an' swirl Imp's dress, moved through tha hall. *snicker* Tha little booger had 'em wrapped around her fingah already.

First tha major gods an' goddesses came by, each givin Imp a kiss or a chuck undah tha chin. I almost hurt myself holdin back tha cackles when she squalled when Apollo tried ta kiss her. 'pol's of tha opinion that every female, from birth ta senility, finds him irresistable, if they'll just admit it ta themselves. Imp kicked him right in tha ego. It didn't help any when she babbled happily ta Hephastus, wunna tha least physically preposin deities. It nevah occured ta him that Heph is Imp's grand dad, an' has babysat her a good deal.

Imp was gettin even more antsy, bouncin in my lap an wavin her arms. Tha jealousy comin from Apollo alone was givin her a rush. When all tha Muses started squealin ovah her (ya know how women are about babies. I wondah why single guys haven't figured out that borrowin wunna their married friend's babies would make them a chick magnet) 'pol's face started ta take on a tint like Imp's signature colah. I had a feelin that when they were alone tanight he was gonna do more struttin an preenin than Hera's entire flock of peacocks.

Imp was handlin this bettah than I expected, aside from bein excited. She was real interested in everyone who came up ta pay their respects. Tha mortals started layin offerins before us. Some of tha stuff wasn't gonna do her any good for a numbah of yeahs. F'rinstance, I wasn't havin her ears pierced till she was old enough ta ask, no mattah how 'Dite pleaded. I knew damn good an' well that if I caved we'd get ta Ace's place an' she'd suddenly have somewhere else she had ta be while tha actual stickin was done.

An' ya gotta know there were scads of mortals there envyin tha fact that this lil peanut was gonna be so powerful in a few years. When we had mothahs pullin their daughtahs up ta tha altar an' askin about dedicatin 'em ta Imp with an eye toward gettin 'em jobs as senior priestesses I knew it was time ta go home. Especially when two of tha moms got inta a hair pullin match ovah which of their kids was more suited ta tha job. By tha time I announced we were goin an flashed outta there Imp was flappin her wings so hard I'm sure she woulda taken off if I'da let go. The idea of my little green an' pink squirt dartin around ovah tha people's heads was funny, till I remembahed that she couldn't possibly know how ta brake, an' that tha marble walls were awful solid.

Tha rest of tha crowd was dismissed, an' we adjourned ta tha back rooms for a more informal supper. Bliss had been sent back earlier. When we got there, it was obvious that he'd been havin fun. He was nekkid except for his drawers an' a wide assortment of foodstuffs (primarily chocolate sauce). Aphrodite said, "Bliss, honey, where's your kilt?" Bliss pointed ta somethin that wunna Artemis's huntin dogs was layin on. He had it clutched in his paws an' was tryin ta eat it, with some success. If ya looked real close ya could just tell that it was what was left of tha kilt. "Bliss! What happened?"

"Well, I was trying to be careful, but I spilled some chocolate on my kilt, an' I tried to wipe it off, but I used the napkin to wipe up the gravy I spilled, and when I took it off to wash it in that.." He pointed to an open wine cask, "I dropped it in the soup. I got it out and I was gonna wash it, but the doggies wanted to play tug o' war." He stuck his finger in his mouth an' gazed at her innocently. "They won."

She drooped. "Oh, well." She took Bliss's hand. "Come on, sweetie, and I'll get you cleaned up. This is informal, so no one will care if you run around in your undies." She giggled. "I do it often enough." As they left tha room I heard her say, "You know, it's the oddest thing. Your daddy had almost exactly the same thing happen to the sweetest little pair of lavender shorts when he was your age..."

I gently set Imp down on a comfortable pallet. I looked at Cupid. He looked at me. We high fived. I gave him a kiss. "An there were people who thought we wouldn't be compatable."