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Author's Note: This is hardcore AU, folks. Don't bother fussing at me about going against canon. I'm just basically taking the Buffy characters and the concept, and throwing them in the blender. On the plus side, you don't have to worry about spoilers. :)

miscellany n 1: a collection containing a variety of sorts of things

Chapter Two
Welcome Wagon

Up ahead, Blair could see Jim consulting a scrap of paper as he idled at the stop sign, waiting for a car containing several blue-haired old ladies to pass. Their apartment HAD to be around here somewhere. It wasn't as if there were acres and acres of tightly packed urban sprawl to comb through.

The waning daylight didn't help things any. Shadows were starting to deepen, clustering in odd areas. They had been delayed by paperwork at the station, and had then decided to have dinner before going to their new apartment. If they didn't hurry, they'd be humping boxes by flashlight.

He hoped they were in the right neighborhood. This looked like a pretty nice area. Well, not TOO seedy, anyway. There was a good sprinkling of conveniences like corner stores, video rental places, pizza restaurants, and laundromats. He'd even spotted what looked like a club not too far away: something called The Bronze.

To his relief, Jim pulled into a parking area in front of a apartment complex, slotting the truck in space number twenty-one. Blair located a blank stall close-by and parked there. He got out and walked over to the truck as Jim began to unstrap the tarp that had been stretched over the truck bed. "This is?"

"Looks like, Chief." He tossed a key to Blair. "Go see if that unlocks number twenty-one. If it does, we're home."

"Cool." There were just four buildings in the complex: three of apartments, and one that seemed to be a combination office/rec room/laundromat. Each apartment block consisted of eighteen units, three floors of three units each, on opposite sides of a middle walkway. Blair chose the middle building. Twenty-one was the first apartment on the left side of the walkway, and the key fit.

He did a brief run-through. Two bedrooms, but they could use the second one for storage. The kitchen was smaller than he would have liked, but nothing he couldn't handle. It was just all on a smaller scale than the loft in Cascade, but better than a lot of the places he'd lived before moving in with Jim. It would do. And if they got on each other's nerves, started stepping on each other's toes, well... There was always The Bronze.

"Hello?"

Blair came out of the back bedroom to find a teenage boy peering in the door he'd left open. "Hi. What can I do for you?"

"You the new tenant?" The boy was regarding him with the sort of wariness that Blair would have expected in a larger city.

"One of them." Blair offered his hand. "Blair Sandburg."

They shook. "Xander Harris." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "I'm in twenty-four, just across." The boy was staring. Blair hadn't had this thorough an examination since Jim first realized he was attracted to him, but he got the feeling that the boy was doing it for a different reason.

He either saw something that reassured him, or DIDN'T see something he was looking for that would have alarmed him, because he relaxed a little. "Need any help moving in? I have some free time."

"Oh, now this is small town hospitality! Back in Cascade the new neighbors might have made popcorn and enjoyed the show, but they wouldn't have offered to help. Sure, c'mon."

They started toward the parking area, and Xander said, "I'd offer ya a 'Welcome' cake or something, but I don't do the domestic bit, and my girlfriend moved out a long time ago. Actually, Anya didn't do the domestic bit, either."

*Girlfriend moved out? He's been living on his own long enough to not only cohabit with someone, but break up with them?* Blair took a closer look. Xander was older than he had first thought. He might even be as much as twenty, at a stretch. "Thanks for the thought, man."

"So, you and your wife are from Cascade?"

Blair smiled as they came to the truck. "Me and my partner." Jim was hefting a box of kitchen stuff out of the bed. He was wearing a thin, sleeveless T-shirt, and he bulged in most interesting ways. "Hey, Jim." Jim set the box on the ground and straightened, dusting his hands and casting a questioning eye at the boy before cocking an eyebrow at Blair. "Our first friend in the neighborhood: Xander Harris, from across the hall."

Jim nodded. "Pleased to meet you." He offered a hand.

He got the same laser exam treatment that Blair had, and passed the test. "Hiya." Xander picked up the box and started for the apartment building. "You guy's will want to hurry up and get all this stuff in before dark."

Blair grabbed a suitcase in each hand and followed, saying, "Is the security lighting bad, or something?"

Xander had placed the box on the dining room table and was heading back out as Blair came in. "Nah, it works fine. You just don't want to be out on the street in Sunnydale after dark if you can help it."

"Really?" He was already out the door. *Damn, he's quick!* Blair dumped the suitcases by the door instead of taking them into the bedroom, risking the Wrath of Jim, but he was curious about Xander, and wanted to keep an eye on him.

Those long legs certainly ate up ground. By the time Blair emerged, Xander was already back at the truck, accepting another box from Jim. As he passed Blair he said, "Says 'Bathroom' so I'm gonna assume it goes in the bathroom, unless you guys are WAY different."

"You got it." At the truck, both Jim and Blair watched Xander disappear into the apartment, then exchanged looks. "I wasn't expecting it, but as Welcome Wagons go, he's not bad."

"He's certainly eager to get us done before sunset. Look, he's coming back."

"Shake a couple of legs, guys." Xander ordered, grabbing another box. "The day ain't getting any longer, but the shadows are."

The two older men shrugged, and continued unloading. With Xander's help, they had everything in the apartment in less than a half hour. The boy set a last load neatly against the wall, and Jim said, "We appreciate the help. I'd offer you a soda or something, but..." He waved at the clutter.

"No sweat, man. Well..." He drew a finger over his brow and flicked a droplet away. "A little, but not much. I do construction, so this was nada. But hold that thought, and consider making it a beer next time."

Jim kept his tone neutral. "Blair DID tell you we're cops, right?"

Xander pursed his lips. "He failed to mention it. He said his partner, and I just kinda assumed he meant... uh..., well, like... life partner."

"That, too."

"Oh. Well, that's cool, on both counts. Anyway, I'm nineteen, and that's legal around here, so you don't have to worry in THAT department. You can feel free to give me all the beer you want, any time you want."

Blair chuckled. "We'll remember that."

"Welcome to the 'hood, guys." Xander headed for the door. "If ya want to club a little later on, The Bronze is good. No one's gonna freak if you want to dance or, like, cuddle or anything." Then he was gone.

Jim looked at Blair, scratching his head. "Sandburg, are you sure that Naomi didn't give you a half-brother and just not tell you about it? That's the most energetic person I've ever seen, aside from you, and he seems just as flaky."

"I like him, too. What do you think?"

Jim sighed. "Jesus, Blair, let's shut the door to our new place the first time before we go looking for playmates."

"Okay." Blair shut the door. "So, what do you think?"

Ellison shook his head, smiling. "He's nice. Young, though. We've never swung with anyone that age. And just because he has no problem with us being together doesn't mean he wants to join in the mix."

"But you like him, right?"

"Yes, you horndog. I like him."

"Possibility?"

"Blair, breathe, okay?"

Xander's POV

I was wondering why the apartment across the way hadn't been rented out yet. Now it looks like it had, and they were just waiting for the new tenants to show.

Cops, two of 'em. I'm curbing my natural dislike till I see what these two are like. Don't wanna go making blanket assumptions. Just 'cause some of our own boys in blue were totally screwed doesn't mean they all are.

They seem pretty cool. I half expected to get my butt kicked away from the door when I poked my head in, but Sandburg was friendly enough. That surprised me a little. They're from Cascade, and I thought that big city people were naturally more stand-offish.

I was surprised when I found out they were police. Sandburg sure as hell doesn't fit my coply stereotype. Not with all that hair and the earrings. He looks more like someone Oz might hang with. But the career choice isn't a stretch with Ellison. He looks like a cop: big, serious brawn, Marine type haircut, no bullshit expression, and I bet those eyes can freeze a perp into submission.

Oh, man, why did I have to go and think about submission? He's seriously hot, but he's seriously taken. They both are: hot, and taken. Damn, it's so unfair when two really sexy guys hook up. Takes twice as many out of circulation.

I'm gonna have to watch my ass around them. Not 'cause I have to worry about one of them grabbing it, dammit. Just don't want to drool down my chin or sprout a boner. Either one of them could probably kick my ass, and I have enough to deal with what with the local elements.

I wonder. I wonder if they're going to snap to what goes on in Sunnydale, or if they're going to be in the majority: clueless. Somehow I think they may catch on. There's some sharp edges to those dudes.

Some round ones, too. Boy, that was the nicest pair of asses I've seen in a long time.

Shit. Being bisexual makes things so fucking complicated sometimes.

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