1955-The Nightmare Begins

He didn't molest her right away. He was too subtle for that, and he was patient. Wallace Bernard had been looking for the perfect woman for several years, and had found her in Maggie. Maggie was young and pretty enough for it to be believable that he might desire her enough for marriage. She had nothing, and wanted it all. And she made it clear that she was willing to do whatever it took to get it. She was capable of telling herself that she was doing it to provide for her daughter.

Kathy, Kathleen. With her odd shaded hair and her blue eyes both innocent, and wise. It was hard for him to keep his hands off her during the brief engagement, but he did. There must be no question, no hint of suspicion, till the union with her mother was legal, and binding. Then, if there were difficulties, he'd have a shot at wresting custody away. After all, it wouldn't be difficult to have her declared an unfit mother.

He'd considered that, at first. But really, Margaret could be an asset. A wife opened a lot of doors in society, and she concealed her sordid background well when she wanted to. And she wanted to be rich and socially accepted very, very much.

The wedding was simple, by his peers' standard. After all, Margaret had a child, and it just wouldn't have been tasteful to have an all out extravaganza. He made a show of helping to pick out the gown and decide on the flowers. The only thing that really interested him was Kathy's flower girl outfit. Maggie had protested it's elaborate design a bit, not wanting any of the attention to be taken away from her on her wedding day. Wallace had informed her, with a warning coolness in his voice, that jealousy of her own child was not very attractive.

When Kathleen preceeded her mother down the aisle, strewing rose petals and daisies (her choice), she had been dressed as a miniature bride herself. A boy a few years older than she, a nephew or cousin of Wallace's, she never was sure which, walked beside her dressed in jacket and striped pants, like Wallace was wearing. He carried a little velvet pillow with a little velvet box sitting on it. Actually, it was attatched. He'd shown Kathy by turning it upside down and shaking it vigorously. The box stayed miraculously in place.

There had been oos and ahs as she solemnly paced the aisle, trying to toss the blossoms in an even pattern. As she'd been instructed, she sat down in the first row when she got to the front, ant the boy sat of the other side of the aisle. Lacey Bernard, Wallace's younger sister and the maid of honor, came next, escorted by the best man. She floated along in a fluffy seafoam green dress, her eyes fixed straight ahead. When they had met out in the church lobby, she had studied Kathleen closely. Her expression was kind, but for some reason her eyes were worried. "Wally didn't tell me about you, little girl. He didn't say anything about his bride having a child."

"He must've forgot. Mommy says it was all very sudden."

"Yes, I suppose so." But she didn't seem satisfied with that answer.

Lacey stood to the left of the alter, and the best man went to stand beside Wallace on the right. Then the organ started that big, impressive music that meant Here comes the bride, and everyone turned to look to the back of the church to see Mommy come in.

Kathy didn't blame everyone for looking. Mommy looked real pretty, like a princess in one of the picture storybooks she'd read when she was little. The only thing that wasn't pretty was her smile. Kathy knew that everyone else just saw the smile and thought, "Oh my, how happy she is!" Kathy knew that that was Mommy's I got my way smile. Kathy wondered if Mr. Wally (it was a compromise between Mr. Bernard, which was what she wanted to call him, and Wally, which was what he prefered, Daddy being out of the question) had noticed this.She was surprised to see that he wasn't looking at Mommy at all. He was looking at her. And Mr. Wally was wearing an I got my way smile, too.

After the wedding, Kathy had to stand still for what seemed like an awful long time while they took pictures. Then there was a party, what Mommy called a reception. There were itty bitty sandwiches cut in funny shapes, without the crusts. There were salted nuts and sugared nuts in fancy paper cups. There was a huge three layer cake covered in loops and swirls and curlycues of white icing, with a man and lady on top, holding hands, but no ice cream. There was a bubbly, sweet red punch for the children, and pale bubbly stuff out of bottles for the grownups. Kathy stuffed herself silly, as she'd been too nervous to eat breakfast.

There was a real, live band playing music, but it was that old, clunky stuff. The ringbearer danced with her, holding her stiffly at arm's length, and counting off steps under his breath as his mother beamed. Kathy was so frustrated that she deliberately stepped on his toes till he quit.

The band took a break, and Kathy followed them out into the kitchen. They were sitting around a table, eating, drinking beer, smoking, and flirting with the girls who worked for the caterer. Kathy marched up to the leader and stood before him, hands on hips. "Don't you know anything but that old poop you're playing?"

The others chuckled as he regarded her through a haze of cigarette smoke. "You don't like our music?"

She made a face. "Do you?"

He smiled wryly. "It ain't my first choice, but it's what they want at gigs like this."

"Don't you know any rock 'n roll?"

He sat up a little straighter, curious. "What does a rich, high class little doll like you know about rock?"

She snorted, and began ticking off on her fingers. "Bill Haley an' the Comets, Buddy Holly an' the Crickets, Elvis Presley, Little Richard..."

"Okay, okay. You're hip, all right. So, you wanna hear some rock and roll?"

"I want to dance!"

He chuckled. "What the hell... excuse me, lady. What the heck. We been paid, they ain't gettin' it back. Okay, princess. We'll get you at least one good tune. More, if they don't stop us and chuck us out."

Kathy waited eagerly right up by the bandstand when they came back out and took their places. The lead grabbed the mike and said, "We're back for our final set, folks. This cat just got a request from a little kitten that's too sweet to be told no, so get ready to shake the dust off. It's time to rock." And the band launched into a raucous version of Rock Around the Clock.

From the first note, Kathy crowed in exaultation, and started to move. The crowd fell away, giving her room. There was some awkwardness in the steps, and she didn't seem quite sure what to do with her arms, but no one could doubt her energy and enthusiasm. Most of the older guests stood back with disapproving, scandalized expressions on their faces, but the younger ones loved it. They surrounded the girl, clapping and shouting encouragement.

Margaret was rolling her eyes, seething. "My god, I never knew she was such an attention hog! She's making a spectacle of herself." *And she's getting a better reaction than I ever did dancing topless* she thought angrily.

"Now, Margaret. I think it's cute. She's just having a good time." Wallace soothed. His opinion changed a moment later when a teenage boy leaped into the circle, grabbed Kathy's hand, and began to whirl her through some jitterbug moves. Kathy laughed and squealed joyously as the boy lowered her to the floor, stepped over her, and whisked her up from between his straddling legs. He jerked her up, and she landed astraddle his leg, and he stumpped along with her, both of them waving their hands in the truckin' maneuver.

Wallace Bernard never shouted. Never. He walked over to the bandstand and jerked the plug out of the amplifier. The guitar died into a tinny strum, and the drums and bass stuttered to a halt. It became very quiet, except for a few whispers. He said cooly and firmly, "That was not the type music you were hired to play."

The young man with the guitar shrugged. "Cutie there asked for it, and I hate to turn down a lady."

"I don't blame her. She's too young to know what's appropriate and what isn't, but you should have had better sense. We're through with your services."

He shrugged again, and looked past him to a crestfallen Kathy. "I tried, kiddo." He pointed a finger at her like a gun. "You keep rockin'." Then he and the others began to pack up their instruments.

Wallace turned to Margaret. "It's just as well. You should go and change, so we have plenty of time to get to the train station."

The guests began saying goodbye and drifting away, and Maggie went off to a side room to get out of her gown and into her travelling dress. Kathy, feeling sulky because her dance had been interupted, decided to hide and pout. The bandstand was draped all around with a ruffly cloth to conceal the struts and braces underneith, and she crawled behind that. It would make an excellent lair.

Footsteps approached, and they stopped almost exactly in front of her. She heard Wallace speaking. She could see the very soles of two sets of shoes on the other side of the cloth just before her. One of the pairs were high heels. " You don't talk to me from one year to the next, you don't say a word to me when you come here to act a maid of honor for my bride, and now you button hole me and demand a private talk. What can be so important that it can't wait till I get back from my honeymoon?"

The voice that answered was so low that Kathy at first didn't recognize it. "You know very well Wallace."

"No, I don't. Your trust fund is operating, as it should. You've been staying on your medication, haven't you?"

"Yes." A hesitation. "No. I don't like it. It makes me feel dopey all the time."

A martyred sigh. Wallace sounded very patient. "We've discussed this, Lacey." Lacey. It was Mr. Wally's sister, the pretty lady in the green dress with the troubled eyes. "You know that your therapist said that you could become delusional if you didn't..."

"I'm not delusional! I've never been delusional. You almost had me convinced I was for awhile, you and that charlatan you hired to cure me."

"Come now, you know how ridiculous those accusations you made were. You, yourself, admitted that."

"Of course I did! You had me in a mental hospital, and it was the only way I could get out!"

"It was for your own safety. When mother died, and you made that suicide attempt, I had to do something. I'll never forgive mother for feediing your fantasies like she did. If she'd gotten you help right away instead of shipping you off to boarding school..."

Lacey's voice trembled. "She did it because it was the only way she knew to protect me. She knew Dad would never believe you were capable of doing what you did to your own sister."

"He wouldn't, thank God. Neither will anyone else, if you start up again. They all know your history. Poor, sick Lacey." There was a nasty edge to Mr. Bernard's voice that Kathy had never heard before. He didn't sound nice at all.

"Put on all the show you like for the rest of the world, Wallace. I know. We both know what you did, and you can't convince me I imagined it all."

"Look Lacey, I'm sorry if you misinterpretted natural affection for something unwholesome."

The lady gave a ragged laugh. "Natural affection, he calls it! I used to think that nothing would have happened if we hadn't shared a bed that summer at the beach cottage. If Dad only hadn't decided to get frugal and take two bedrooms instead of three. But I know now that you just would have found some other opportunity to start."

"I can see that I'll have to have a talk with Dr. Lange. Perhaps you need a different prescription, or an increased dosage."

"Don't threaten me, Wally. I may not be able to get the authorities to listen after all these years, but the tabloids would. And you know what that would do to your precious reputation. Suddenly all your country club friends wouldn't know you anymore."

"Now who's threatening? I don't understand what you want, Lacey. I'm seeing that you're taken care of, I don't try to see you or contact you in any way. I only asked you to be in the wedding party because it would have looked strange if I didn't. What is it that has you so agitated?"

There was a pause, and when the lady spoke again, her voice was very low. "I was eight when you started on me, Wally. How old is that little girl, seven?"

"You're being disgusting."

"I saw how you looked at her. When that boy danced with her, you nearly exploded with jealousy. You can't do it, you can't ruin her like you ruined me. I swear, Wally, I'll tell. I'll go to the sleaziest scandal rag I can and give them an exclusive interview, with all the gorey details, and I won't even take a fee. They'll blast it from coast to coast. They'll be cursing you in every supermarket checkout line in America."

Wallace Bernard spoke slowly and evenly. "Lacey, that little girl is perfectly safe. I have no bad intentions toward her. Her mother will be there to look after her. If it will ease your mind, I'll agree to send her away to school, but not for a year or two. She's still far too young."

"I'm going to keep in contact with her. I'm going to call her every week. If I ever hear one hint in her voice, one word... I'm hanging up and dialing the first tabloid I can find."

"Don't worry, this is going to be one of the happiest girls on earth."

There was a babble of voices from the hallway, and the footsteps moved away. Kathy waited till she was sure they were gone, then crawled out, dusting herself off. She was frowning. What had that been all about? Apparently Mr. Wally had been mean to his sister when she was little. He was a lot older. When Lacey was little, he'd have been a big kid, a teenager. Almost a man. What did he do that made her so angry after she'd grown up?

Kathy heard her name being called, and trotted out to the jammed hallway. Mr. Wally was in a dark suit, like he normally wore, and her mother was wearing a pretty peach colored dress with a matching hat. She'd never been able to afford matching hats before, she always bought what she called neutral shades, that she could wear with anything. Mommy extended a hand that was encased in a dainty white kid glove. "Come on, where have you been?"

Mr. Wally glanced back toward the room she'd just exited and said, "Yes, where were you? I was in there a minute ago and didn't see you." He was looking at her intently.

Kathy took a deep breath, and for the first time consciously lied to a grownup. "I was in the kitchen."

Mr. Bernard relaxed, and smiled. "Don't tell me you're still hungry after all that cake you put away?"

"I just like kitchens."

"Well, we were about to leave you, silly. You can ride with me and your Mom to the train station. Then Mrs. Logan will take you back to your new home, and she'll take care of you till we get back from our honeymoon."

They climbed into the back of the big black car that had all sorts of shoes and cans tied to the back bumper. Everyone was throwing rice at them, and Kathy would be brushing it out of her hair for two days. As they drove off, Wallace said, "Maggie, did Lacey say anything unpleasant to you back there?"

"No. She scarcely spoke at all. I got the feeling she didn't like me."

"It's nothing personal. I've told you about her...problems. I'm afraid she's getting worse. She's showing signs of another breakdown. When we get back, I'm signing the commitment papers. A few months in a good saniterium should help. There's no cure, but sometimes she can function on the outside, with assistance and medication."

"Poor Lacey."

"Yes, poor sick Lacey." Wallace looked at Kathy, who was watching him. "She didn't frighten you, did she Kathy?" Kathleen shook her head. "Good. You just have to remember that if she says anything scary or mean, it's not her fault, and it's not true. Let's not talk about it any more. It makes me very sad." He changed the subject. "I'm sorry, but there aren't any children your age to play with at my house, Kathy. We're a little way out of the city, and there isn't another house for more than a mile. But you'll have plenty to do. I made sure your room was stocked with all kinds of toys and books."

When she didn't reply, her mother poked her sharply in the side. "Say thank you, Kathy."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, Wally."

"Thank you, Mister Wally."

"Kathy..."

"Now Maggie, " he interceded. "It will take some time. If I can be patient, so can you. She'll come around, once she sees how fond I am of her."

"I don't see how she can doubt it, Wally. You've been so good to her already."

Wallace Bernard reached out and stroked his new step-daughter's hair, sliding the glistening strands sensuously through his fingers. "Believe me, Maggie, I haven't begun to show the depths of my affection."