1959--Revelation

Kathy leaned closer to her reflection in the mirror, staring intently into her own eyes. She murmured, "Hello?" The glassy lips formed the question along with her, then remained still as she waited for a reply. "I know you're in there. Why won't you talk to me?" Silence and stillness again.

Kathy sighed. There was another girl inside her, that could be the only explanation for what had been happening the last two years. There had been...blank spots. Like that first time in the guest bathroom, and later in the recreation room. It only happened when she was angry, or frightened. Not every time, but it had been happening with increasing frequency. She would go away without warning, and return to find that she had been fighting with Wallace, or her mother. She only knew this because of what they said, she never had any personal memory.

Whoever this other person was, she wasn't meek, that was for certain. Mr. Wally sometimes nursed bruises for days, and once he'd gotten a split lip. Kathy herself had a few blue marks after that experience, but it had been worth it. The few times Maggie had any direct contact with Kathy these days, she lamented bitterly that "I just don't know you anymore." It didn't lessen Bernard's attentions, though. He called her a spitfire and his little hellcat.

Kathy left her bathroom, and went back to her room. She picked up a thick volume she had been reading, and opened it to a marked page. Ever since man began to verbalize, names have been important. Surely the first names were simple physical descriptions, such as 'Dark' or 'Tall'. As the size of a group grew, more complicated names were necessary to distinguish individuals, say 'Squint Eye' or 'Tiny Ears.' Then they probably moved on to object or creature names that embodied actual or hoped for characteristics. Boy babies might be named 'Stone' or 'Wolf''. A girl might be named 'Flower' or 'Butterfly'. Names meaning all virtues flourished: 'Wisdom', 'Grace', 'Mercy', 'Honor'. The following is a listing of names and their meanings.

Kathy settled on to her bed and started skimming through the names. She'd decided that maybe if she could call the girl inside by her name, she might be willing to talk. She was hoping that she could figure out the right name by finding out what they meant. Auquil, wise. Hm. No. Aimainah, peace, harmony. Kathy snorted softly. Not likely. Abby, gives joy. No. Abira, strong. Now that's a possibility. Abrasia, unknown. Hey, that might... Oh, they just mean they don't know. Acacia, thorny. She paused.

Kathy said the name aloud, "Acacia." She rolled it on her tongue. "Aa-kay-seeee-ahh. Thorny. Sharp. Stinging. Strong." She lifted her eyes from the book and stared off into space. Her eyes were unfocused, the normally brilliant blue misty, blurry. She whispered. "Acacia?"

There was a movement at the corner of her vision, but she didn't try to look at it. That was a sure way to drive her away, she knew. Instead, she just sat, and stared, and waited. "Acacia."

There was a touch, a tickle at the back of her head. Inside her head? A breathy voice sighed, "Yesss. Acacia."

"Are you inside me?" No answer. "Please, don't go away."

The whisper came again, stronger. "Won't go, Kitten. Kitten needs me."

Tears pricked her eyes. "Yes, I need you. I need someone so bad."

"Kathy is sad. Kathy is hurt. He hurts you."

It was as if someone was enveloping her in a soft, warm cocoon. The grey fog started to creep across her vision. This was the first time it had happened when she wasn't hurt or furious or frightened. It was strange to her, but she welcomed it. "Are you coming?"

"I'm always here, Kathy. I'll never leave you now. But I don't think it will be enough. He's strong, Kitten. And I'm still a little girl."

"Who are you?"

"Go look in the mirror." Dreamily, Kathy rose to her feet. The book thumped unheeded to the floor, and she drifted to the mirror over her bathroom sink, and looked in.

There was another girl in the mirror. Instead of her own reflection, there was another girl. She looked a lot like Kathleen. She had the same caramel colored hair streaked with cream, the same pointed face. But the blue eyes, instead of being soft and hurt, were sharp, sparkling--feral. She smiled at Kathy. And though Kathy knew that the girl meant her no harm, that she probably felt quite kindly toward her, Kathy shivered. It wasn't a nice smile at all. It was like she was baring her teeth. Again Kathy asked, "Who are you?"

"Your Daddy said you'd be a good little hunter, didn't he? I think that's me." She shrugged. Kathy didn't move, but she saw the reflection's shoulders lift. "Does it matter? You need me. I'm here. I'll do what I can to keep The Bastard off you. But there's not much I can do now. I'm still too little. But I won't always be little, will I? And the Change Daddy talked about should come in a few more years. Maybe that'll help."

"You mean my monthlies?" Kathy shuddered. "He'll be able to get me pregnant then."

"But he won't. He's a sly Bastard. He'll start using protection. I wish I could take you away now, but there's no chance. As young as we are? We'd be picked up in a few hours, maybe a day. And God, what he'd do to you when they brought you home."

Kathy squeezed her eyes shut at the thought. She'd stopped threatening to tell. It made him so much worse.

"I have to step back now, Kathy."

"No! Wait!"

The voice was fainter. "I can't. I'm not strong enough yet to stay for long. But I won't be far. And if you want me bad enough, if you think of me hard enough, I can come." The voice had almost died. "Someday when you're ready to rest, I'll be able to stay."

"Acacia?" The lovely fog was gone. All the edges of the world were once again bright and sharp and hurtful. She splayed her fingers on the cold glass, touching the face that was once again just her reflection. "Acacia." She moaned. "Get strong fast. Please. I want to leave this place."