Almost, dammit. Almost.

She'd been sick, and Jerry needed to go out for more wood. He kept that place like an oven for her, because she felt chilled. Weird seeing him walk around in those shorts while the snow was over two foot deep outside, and getting deeper. He couldn't leave her alone, not as doped up as she was.

That stuff Lally gave her had codeine in it, lots of it. Lally warned that they couldn't give it to her more than five days in a row, or they'd risk addicting her. As it was, she was pretty out of it most of the time. Had that far away, glazed look in her eyes.

I kind of liked that. When they have that look, it means they're not in any state to fight with you. You can pretty much do what you want without too much effort. All kinds of things. Things that would make them scream if they were straight.

He would have had to go out to one of the supplemental woodpiles. That would have had him away for anywhere from forty-five minutes to an hour. I could have done a lot in that time. So I offered to stay with her.

What the hell? Drugged as she was, messed up with the fever, how much would she have remembered? And how much would they have believed, if she had remembered? Well, that would have been a problem. It wouldn't have been like it was with the courts, not with the Bellewoods. The Bellewoods wouldn't have required proof beyond reasonable doubt. Jerry would gut me on a firm suspicion, even if I was his sister's husband.

In any case, he didn't feel like letting me take care of his precious bride. I'd feel insulted if he wasn't so right.

I was glad when she recovered, as much or more than the rest of them. I would have hated to see such a fresh piece of tail go. As long as she's here, and I'm here, there's always the chance.

Maybe I can make her think that I'm her way off the mountain. She might be pretty grateful for that. Grateful is good. It can be very good.

I need to hint around to her that I'm not like them, I'm not really a part of it. Well, I'm not, dammit. When I married Justine, I thought I'd set myself up. You heard things about the Bellewoods. That they were spread out over a lot of different states. That they might go by the name of Forest, or Goodtree, or a half dozen other names, but they were Bellewoods, nonetheless. That there were Bellewoods where you'd never expect them: in certain police forces, in the DPS, in Social Security.

It was said that if a Bellewood didn't want to be found, you didn't find them. If they didn't want to be found, and you by some miracle did find them, then you, yourself, might become very hard to find.

If something needed to be extracted from somewhere quickly and neatly you called on the Bellewoods. They didn't touch drugs in any form, but other than that... Jewels, cash, weapons, even art were fair game.

So you can understand that I anticipated great things when I joined up with the Bellewoods. But it was only to find that I was still on the outside. I might have married in, but they didn't trust me enough to give me anything significant.

I've been mainly a courier, the few times they allowed me into even the fringe of their affairs. They provided me with the start of a little mail order business when I married in. It didn't interest me much. I've kept it limping along, drawing down enough money to buy groceries. They tell me that every time there's a 'commission', that a portion goes into an account for Justine and the kids... and me. But they won't give me access, so what the fuck good does it do me?

They all have those accounts. 'Retirement' accounts. 'Bolt' accounts. Finances they can get to easily if the law ever turns too inquisitive an eye on them.

All Bellewoods 'retire' eventually. I've heard rumors of communities on small islands in the Caribbean, or in South America. How much of it is true, and how much of it is a rumor like Kaiser Szosy, I don't know. I just know that there has to be something there to generate this kind of talk, even if it's an urban myth. And they won't let me in on it.

Fuck 'em. I bred with their sister, I gave 'em two more brats to be raised as Bellewoods, and what have they given me? Fuck all.

I'll find a way to get some payback. There has to be a way Ii can make money off these yahoos, and I think I'll have some of big bad Jerry’s private stock, too, before I take off. I just have to be patient, and plan.