I'd been feeling so much better, almost like my old self. Jacob and Joshua had come over to visit, now that I was noncontagious. Joshua brought Monopoly, and Jerry joined us for a game. It had been awhile since I had played. There weren't any children in my immediate family any more, and my grown relatives didn't have the patience, or so they said. I think they just didn't like getting their butts whipped on a regular basis. I'm good at Monopoly, as long as I don't get shafted by the dice.

I tried to explain my winning strategy to Joshua. "It's the corners, Josh. Try to get a monopoly on the properties on either side of a corner, and the next one down one side, if you can. No matter what they throw, they end up paying you. Then go hotels, hotels, hotels."

Jerry threw the dice. "You missed your callin', darlin'. You shoulda took business, you'd have made a kick ass corporate raider."

"No I wouldn't. You have to have your ethics surgically removed to prosper in that arena. You owe me."

He passed over the slips of brightly colored paper. "My life, my heart, my soul, my sanity."

I ignored the words, neatly tucking the fake money into the proper piles. I was uneasy about what was happening here. He refused to act like a captor, he insisted on acting like a husband. Like we had a history together. Maybe that was how he felt, now that I'd begun telling him about my life. Maybe that was a mistake. Did I want him to feel any closer to me?

Jacob, on my lap, was trying to reach the red and green plastic jumble of toy houses, and I moved the box lid they were sitting in. "No, Jakey. It's almost never a good idea to eat anything that brightly colored." I kissed his blonde curls. How the hell had James ever produced such a sweet child? I hated being around James. He'd look at me, and I'd end up feeling like I had a greasy scum all over my body. He made me want to take a shower, with strong soap and a scrub brush.

The game ran on, as Monopoly does. Jacob got fussy, Joshua got bored. Finally Jerry started to put the game away. "Josh, you need to take your little brother back home for a nap." Joshua had no objections, figuring that a game of Sonic the Hedgehog would be more interesting than finishing the game. Jerry stood in the door and watched them till they reached their own cabin.

I was finishing sorting the money neatly into the box tray. I put the lid on the box, and looked up to find him standing beside me. "You're feeling better now." It was a statement, not a question, but I nodded. He took my hand, pulling me up out of the seat. "But you need a nap."

"No," I said. "I'm not sleepy."

He tugged me toward the bed, repeating, "You need a nap."

"But Jerry," I protested. "I'm not the least bit tired."

"No?"

"No."

He pulled me into his arms, and I saw the heat in his eyes. He murmured, "Then you just need to lay down."

I drooped in dismay. He'd left me alone for so long, I'd begun to hope... But he hadn't lost interest in me, he'd just been considering how I felt (and a subversive little voice in the back of my head was pointing out that there were a hell of a lot of men in the world in normal relationships that wouldn't have been that considerate).

"It... it's the middle of the day," I stammered. Any reason, any excuse.

He nuzzled my neck, just below my left ear, then moved down to lick my throat. "Never heard of afternoon delight, darlin'?" He'd maneuvered me down onto the mattress, settling beside me. “It's real nice."

"Jerry, please." He'd begun unbuttoning my shirt, and I tried to push his hands away.

"Just relax, sweetheart. It ain't like it's anything we haven't done before." Stung to be reminded, I shoved at him, hard. I'd misjudged. He was being as considerate of my feelings as he was capable, but he still believed he had a conjugal right to my body. And he wasn't in any mood to be denied. I found my wrists imprisoned in his hands, pinned beside my head. He looked at me almost sorrowfully. "Scribe, why can't you understand how things have to be?" He sighed. "I s'pose you think you have to fight, or you're not a good woman. I guess I'll just have to make it easier for you, then."

He released my hands long enough to strip the case off one of the pillows. I didn't know what he intended till I saw him winding it. My mind flashed to the first night, to him winding a towel just like that. "No! Don't do that!" I tried to get off the bed. I don't know where I thought I was going. It didn't work, anyway. He just put a knee on my belly and held me in place while he captured my hands, tied them, then tied the makeshift rope to the headboard.

He finished opening my shirt and pulled off my pants while I kicked and told him I hated him. He kept saying, "That's the fear talkin', darlin'. You don't have to be afraid of me." Then he got back on the bed, fully clothed and started touching me.

He whispered. "I know you're afraid. But it was good last time, wasn't it? You can't lie about that, Scribe. I was inside you, I felt it." I started to cry in humiliation. It was true. I'd climaxed twice, despite my fear, dismay, and the pain (physical, mental, and emotional) of losing my virginity to a man I'd known less than a day, the man who’d kidnaped me at gunpoint. "It'll be even better for you this time. It won't hurt. Nothing but pleasure this time, dear one."

He moved his hands over my body, stroking and squeezing. He followed with his mouth, kissing and licking where his hands had passed. I jerked at the bonds, trying to twist away. But every shift and turn only exposed another unexplored section of my body, and he was happy to lavish it with attention. Finally I just lay there and whimpered, my blood heating slowly and beginning to pound in my veins. "That's my girl. Just relax and let me love you like you should be loved."

He removed a small tube from his pocket, and uncapped it. Personal lubricant. With a sinking feeling I realized that he must have been planning on this for some time, just waiting till he judged I was ready. He coated his fingers with the clear gel, laying aside the tube. "I should have used this the first time," he apologized. "But... well, you made me kind of crazy. And you were so nice and wet, I figured it would be all right. It wasn’t too bad, was it, darlin'?" I turn my head away, refusing to look at him, and he sighs. "I'll make it up to you."

He presses his fingers into the crease of my genitals, moving upward and quickly finding the little knob of flesh that is the seat of the most intense sensations. Jerry begins to patiently rub and squeeze, working till my hips start to lift unconsciously. Then he kisses me as he slides the first finger up inside me. I tense, waiting for the pain, but it doesn't come. There is a momentary discomfort, then just a feeling of fullness. He moves his hand, working the finger in and out, watching my face. "See? No pain."

"Jerry, please stop. I don't want this."

"You will." He keeps kissing me, hand moving slowly. The heat starts to build. Soon he doesn't need the extra lubricant as once again my traitor body prepares to welcome him. I can feel him smiling against my mouth. He whispers, "You can't help it, darlin'. Don't be sad. It's no shame to want your man." He opens his pants, exposing himself, and rolls on top of me. I find, to my dismay, that I have automatically spread my legs for him. He isn't hesitant this time. He enters me fully in one long stroke, and there's no pain, only a dull ache that passes almost before I feel it. He doesn't pause this time, but continues to move, pulling back and pushing forward. I am emptied, then filled, over and over. Before long I'm arching against him. "Oh yes, that's right, that's my baby. Feels so good. Give it to me, Scribe. Gimme it all."

I moan. "Just do it."

"It's what you want."

"You don't know what I want. You don't know me."

"But I'm learnin', ain't I? And you do want this, as much as me. Don't you?"

He stops, he goes absolutely still, buried deep inside me. He props himself on his elbows so he can look down at me, and gazes into my face. For the longest time he is quiet, unmoving. I can feel his heat, radiating out into me. My head is starting to buzz.

He begins to press tiny kisses all over my face, my throat, by breasts, murmuring, "Don't you want it? Hm, pretty girl?"

"Move." I had squeezed my eyes shut, now they spring open. That was my voice.

"What was that, sugar? Tell me what you want."

"Move. Please." Oh, god, I'm lost.

"Do you want it? Do you want me?"

I draw in a deep, shuddering breath. "Yes." He pulls back, then makes a subtle motion with his hips, giving me a scant inch, then withdrawing. I try to push up, but he holds me down, and does it again. I bite my lip as I realize he's teasing me. And I’m going to give in. "Yes, Jerry. I want you. Do it."

"Do what, darlin'?"

This time he wants total surrender. I close my eyes and say the words. "Fuck me."

His lips are on mine again as he begins to pump, and he whispers, "I love you, Scribe. I love you, dear heart."

I'm crying even as I buck up to meet his increasingly strong thrusts. "I know."