"I don't envy you breaking this to Spencer," said Aaron.

"Me?"

"It's your project."

"But you're the head of the unit. I can't order him to go--you can."

Aaron rubbed his face. "I don't want to do that."

"Maybe you won't have to. I know that Spencer is a little socially awkward, but
this is such a great opportunity. The competition for spots on the roster has
been fierce. That's why I was so lucky to get this."

There was a tap at the door, and Aaron called, "Come in."

Spencer entered the room. "Has she told you about the conference?"

Aaron gave JJ a pointed look. "She has."

"I'd been planning on going till I had to have those personal days off to take
care of that dental work. You're lucky. I was wondering if I could get you to
make tapes of some of the lectures? I'll provide the machine, of course. Since
the tapes will be for personal use, I don't think that there'd be any pirating
issues, unless one of the lecturers takes the opportunity to promote a book, and
I'm pretty sure they're not allowed to do that..." He trailed off. If it
wasn't in the line of duty, someone would normally have interrupted him by now.
He noted Aaron's non-plussed expression. "Is something wrong? Did the
invitation fall through?"

"No," said Aaron. "We're still responsible for providing a representative."

Spencer frowned. "That was strangely worded. What are you trying to avoid
saying?"

Aaron looked at JJ. "It just isn't worth the effort to try to bullshit a
professional profiler. I can't go to the convention."

Spencer nodded. "Well, I was wondering about that, what with your wife's
condition."

"Spencer, would you consider going in my place?"

Spencer blinked, and his eyes lit up. "They'll pay my travelling expenses and
comp me for room and meals?"

"Of course," said JJ quickly. "Thanks, Spencer. You're really pulling my bacon
out of the fire. There's no way I could have found anyone else at this late
date. What will be your topic? I need to know soon, so that I can notify the
convention committee."

"My topic?" Spencer suddenly tensed. "Wait, you want me to LECTURE?"

"Spencer, that IS why the trip was arranged," said JJ. "You didn't think that
we meant for you to just attend?"

Spencer looked sour. "Not really. If I'd stopped to think for a second I'd
have known. Working around here isn't conducive to blindly believing in the
goodness of Fate," he gave Aaron and JJ a jaundice look, "or the unlikelihood of
manipulation in the workplace."

"So we can count on you?" said JJ brightly.

"No."

"Look," said JJ. "This is a terrific opportunity."

"An opportunity to subject myself to a painful and nerve wracking
experience--the avoidance of which was a major factor in my decision to work
here instead of taking a teaching position? Oh, and to not only stumble through
a blood-pressure raising event where I'll be the focus of perhaps hundreds of
bored strangers, but to have to travel cross-country to do it? Thank you, but
no, thank you."

Aaron sat quietly while JJ spent the next fifteen minutes trying to convince
Spencer of what a grand adventure it would be, what a terrific career boost it
would be (perhaps leading evenutually to a directorship), how he'd be the envy
of all his coworkers. Spencer had countered that if he wanted adventure he
watched the Travel Channel, he was perfectly happy with his current job and had
no desire for an administrative position, and, "Why would I want to be envied by
the people I work with? That would be stupid, and I'm not stupid."

Finally Aaron said, "No, Spencer, you're not. You know that it's a raw deal.
But Spencer, it's got to be done."

"What about Elle, or Derek, or Garcia? JJ, you could..." He stopped, eyes
narrowing. "You've already considered them, and you're asking me." His
expession pinched down a little more. "I'm the last choice, too. How
flattering."

"Spencer, it isn't like that at all," JJ protested. "We'd be proud..."

"Stop it, JJ," said Aaron wearily. "He's right, and you know it. If you try to
pretend any different, you're only fooling yourself. Spencer, I'm sorry. It's
a shitty thing to do to you--you deserve better. You're a brilliant
criminologist, and you're a plus to any venture you join, but you're simply not
a 'people person'."

Seeing that Aaron wasn't going to just ignore his feelings, Spencer nodded.
"You should have seen me when I was about thirteen. I went through a period
where I only communicated through notes. I stopped after my parents started
making me see my therapist three times a week instead of once." He looked at
JJ. "I wasn't 'cured'--I just didn't want to have that big a chunk taken out of
my leisure time."

"Spencer," Aaron continued, "The bald facts are that we're committed to supply
the conference with a speaker, and for various reasons you're elected as the
sacrificial lamb. If you don't go no one will lose their job..." he looked to
JJ for confirmation.

"I don't think so," she said. When Aaron stared at her she said testily, "Oh, I
suppose not. I can kiss a promotion any time soon good-bye, though."

Aaron justifiably ignored her last statement. "No one will lose their jobs, but
you know the attitude toward 'non co-operation'. Nothing official will happen,
but it will suddenly be much more difficult to get anything approved. We can't
afford that. We never know what resources we're going to need, and Spencer, if
we don't get what we need it doesn't just cut into a profit margin--it costs
lives." Spencer deflated a little, but there was still slightly stubborn glint
in his eyes. Aaron sighed. "Please don't make me pull rank on you."

Spencer was silent for a moment, then said grudgingly, "I don't have to fly
tourist, or have any long stopovers do I?"

JJ sagged in relief at this tactic acceptance. "No way. I can't justify first
class, but the business class on this airline is pretty nice. They'll show an
in-flight movie--first run."

"Joy. I'll get to see something at thirty thousand feet that I could have seen
for under twenty dollars on the ground. What about meals?"

"Like I said, included. You'll be comped for your entire room service bill,
though I think that they might quibble a little if you're too free with the mini
bar."

"It's welcome information, but that's not what I'm talking about. I meant on
the plane."

"Sure, a meal is included."

"I'm going to be in the air for nine hours."

"Two meals."

"Rental car?"

"You're going to be at the conference, not sight seeing. We'll comp for taxi
fare."

Aaron listened to the bargaining with amusement. It was nice to see Spencer
stand up for himself. The young man knew he was stuck with an unpleasant duty,
so he had determined to make it as tolerable as possible, and if that meant
giving JJ a hard time, he was perfectly willing to do it. For her part, JJ
wanted this mission accomplished so intensly that she probably would have agreed
to give Spencer her first born child. After all, she was concentrating on her
career, and children didn't factor in for a long, long time.

Finally Spencer had JJ agreeing to his getting two more personal leave days for
the quarter, and the use of a personal parking space for six months. JJ tried
to argue him out of the last demand, since Spencer often rode his bike to work,
but he stuck to his resolve. "Every time someone walks past that parking space
occupied by my bicycle it will be a testament to my martyrdom."

"For heaven's sake, Spencer," said JJ. Now that she'd gotten his agreement she
didn't feel the need to be quite so slavish in her treatment of him. "There's
no need to feel sorry for yourself. It isn't as if you're going to be
tortured."

"Speak for yourself."

"Oh, all right. Your flight leaves at seven a.m. on Thursday. You'll get into
Seattle around five, and they'll have the welcoming dinner for the speakers at
seven-thirty. You should have plenty of time to check in and get ready, maybe
even take a little nap."

Spencer stared at her. "How much have you travelled?" He stood up. "If you'll
excuse me, I have to go make arrangements to have my cat taken care of." He
left.

JJ slumped. "Could he have been any more ungracious if he tried?"

"Spencer's about to put himself through something that, to him, is roughly
equivalent to donating a kidney. Stop complaining and start being grateful."

~*~

Garcia saw, from the corner of her eye, Spencer Reid stalk past her office. He
wasn't flouncing, but his gait was a little stiff, and his hands were fisted at
his side. "Uh-oh." She went out to the hall and called after him, "Spencer?"

Spencer stopped and looked back at her. "What? What do YOU want me to do?
Paint your house? Reprogram your computer? Convince your parents to get off
your back about your choice of men?"

She blinked at him, then grimaced in commiseration. "Whatever it was, they
pushed it off on you, didn't they?"

"Check me, would you?" He briefly turned his back to her. "Is there a
bullseye? Maybe a 'kick me' sign?"

"What is it?" He told her about the conference--and the expected lecture.
"Cheer up. It's not like you really need to do a lot of preparation. You could
practically pick a subject out of a hat and do an hour and a half on it."

"But that's just talking to people--not talking to PEOPLE. I mean not to a
crowd." He scowled. "I'm a criminologist, not a performer."

"It can't be that bad, can it?"

"Let me put it to you this way--before they realized that they were wasting
everyone's time having me in an age appropriate class, I had to give an oral
book report to my reading group. I wanted to do it on Cosmos, by Carl Sagan,
but my teacher didn't think it was appropriate." He flicked his eyes upward.
"She assigned me a Hardy Boys book. There were ten people in the group, and it
was a five minute report. I got hives. I'm a little better now, but not much."

"Buck up." she patted him on the shoulder. "They're going to owe you. That
can come in handy if you ever have to negotiate for anything."

"Great. I'll remember to mark it down on my score card. Excuse me--if I have
to leave town this week, I have things that I need to take care of."

As he walked down the hall Garcia raised her voice, calling, "Look at it as a
chance to meet new and interesting people that you'll probably never see again.
It's a perfect opportunity to, uh..." Spencer looked back, cocking an eyebrow.
"Get intimate without having to... actually... get intimate. Sorry."

Spencer grunted and continued out. In the elevator on the way down, he leaned
back against the wall, crossing his arms. He could see a blurred image of
himself reflected in the polished metal doors, the line where the sides met
bisecting the vague oval of his face. *Divided. Yes, that's pretty accurate.
The others take me at face value. I think Gideon suspects that I might be more
than what they see at work, but he hasn't given it a lot of thought. If he was
asked he'd say that I have hidden depths, but I think that's more what he tells
himself than what he believes. He has to believe that there's more to everyone
than what they show the world.*

He rubbed his eyes. *Crap. Why am I chewing this over? I don't think that
even I know myself. If I did I'd have admitted right away that I want to go.
Or that I want to want to go. If only I didn't have to do that damn speech. I
can see the glazed looks now. I thought that when I took this job I'd at least
be surrounded by people who'd be more like me, who'd understand, at least a
little. Wrong again, Spencer. Aaron with his family, Derek with women
practically falling all over him, JJ making a career out of interacting with
people, Garcia... Yeah, well, Garcia is one of the original 'grab life by the
horns' people. I'm working with these people every day, and instead of
assimilating, I'm feeling more different every day. Maybe I do need to get away
for a little while.* The door slid open and he stepped out. *Wish it could
have been a weekend in Mexico or South America instead. I could have looked at
Incan or Mayan ruins.*