She swallows again, and says quietly, "I don't know what you mean, Dana. I... I was just looking at the paper is all."

She winces as I slowly tear the paper in two, fold the halves together, tear again... I repeat the action till the paper is nothing but a handful of shreds, then deposit it in thr wastebasket.

"Please don't lie to me. You were doing exactly this before you came to stay here. I'm not stupid, Free. Not about details like this. I'm a fucking FBI agent, remember?"

"Yes, I didn't mean that. I... I was just looking, Dana. I wasn't really planning on doing anything."

"Really? You know what I think? I think that when you got better, I'd just come home one day to find you and your cat gone. Vanished. Of course..." I lean closer to her, and she cringes down an inch. "If you did that... I'd find you. The FBI is very good at tracking people, Free. At least the one's like you--the one's that are so honest that they've never covered their trail before. You ought to think about that. If you did leave me, I'd be showing up on your doorstep, sooner or later."

"I don't understand what's going on here. Would you please let me go?"

"No."

"But Dana..."

"I told you this morning that I love you."

She's quiet, then has a tentative stab at arch indignation. "Well, this is a fine way to show it."

I don't fall for the bait. "Yes, it is." I answer calmly. "I asked you once before, and you skirted the question. So I'll ask you again. Are you gay, Free?"

She flinches again. "I've never been with a woman, Dana."

"You've never been with a man, either, have you?" The pink flush rises. "Don't you know, Free?"

"I... I don't really think I'm either. I don't think about it much."

"Bullshit. Oh, don't look so shocked. If you don't know, then you're gay, or at least bi. You're just too afraid to make any move on it."

"Well, that's my right..."

"Not when you play around with someone else, Free."

"But I don't."

"Fuck." She blinks at the obscenity. "You are such a fucking tease. Do you mean to tell me that it's natural, and not calculated? Then you are really dangerous."

"But Dana, I don't. I never..."

"No? The singing, Free. You have to know how seductive the singing is. Drawing me into your own little world with the words and music. All the love songs."

"I just sing. I don't really think about it."

I nod. "It's just part of you. And the little kindnesses, the little courtesies. Part of you. What about the neck rub, Free? The back massage? What about them? You started it, you offered. Your hands..."

I close my eyes and shiver with the sensory memory. "Oh, God, your hands. You know just exactly where and how... Straddling me like that, moving against me..."

Her eyes are wide. For the first time, she's seeing her actions from the outside. Realizing that they meant more than she thought.

"Last night you got me so hot I thought I was going insane. And then you left me." I scream. "You left me!"

She jerks instinctively, twisting in her bonds. Water sprays and splashes, but she can't go anywhere. In a second she's still again, trembling. "I'm sorry." she whimpers. She's not even sure what she's apologizing for, but it seems like the safest thing to do.

"No, don't be afraid." I hold out one hand to her. "I'm sorry, Free. It's just part of your oblivion. And that's part of you, part of what I love. You're so fucking untouched somehow. But you've got to see how it is. This avoidance has gone on too long. It's time to stop running."

I stand up, and slip off my robe. Her eyes widen. "Dana, what are you doing? Please, Dana. You're scaring me."

"Don't be afraid." I kneel next to the tub.

She draws in a deep breath, and I put my hand over her mouth, hard. "Don't. Don't spoil this, Free. If you scream, if you try to attract outside attention... I'll shoot you. I'll make it very quick and painless. Then I'll shoot myself. Do you understand that?" Her eyes, above my hand, fill with tears. "Do you believe that?" She gives a tiny nod. "Are you going to scream?" An infintesimal shake. "Good girl."

I take away my hand, and she lets out the breath slowly. A tear spills, steaking her smooth cheek. I bend toward her and lick it away. "Don't cry. I just need to touch you. Love you."

There's a washcloth on the side of the tub. I take it and wet it. There's a tube of honeysuckle scented bath gel there also, and I squeeze a generous amount into the cloth, then work it into a thick lather.

I start to wash her, swirling white, fragrant patterns on her throat, neck, shoulders. I follow the path that the rag has made with my other hand, smoothing the soap into her skin.

Down to her breasts, my hands starting to tremble slightly. The top curves barely break the surface of the water. I lift each gently in turn, laying down the thick film of soap with the cloth, then working it with my hand. She whimpers when I rub and squeeze her nipples. I don't stop, I give them much gentle attention. Then I rinse away the soap, bend down, and taste them.

The steam of the water rises into my face as I kiss and lick, then bite. She shifts as much as her bonds will allow, which isn't much. And she whispers, "Oh, God. Dana, don't. Please. I don't want this, Dana. Not like this." It's easy to ignore. All I really hear is my name, and 'please'.

I move the cloth in my right hand down her belly, feeling it heave with her breath and her agitation. Then my hand moves, at last, down between her legs.

She stiffens, eyes huge, soft mouth open. "It's all right, Free. Just relax. Let me love you."

I'm vaguely aware that I'm kneeling in a puddle. Her brief thrashings have splashed out some of the water. It's lower now in the tub, only a few inches. Her groin barely rises above the surface.

I squeeze more of the gel on the cloth, then apply it directly to her pubic thatch. It's just as dark and thick and silky as I had imagined. I work the cloth slowly back and forth. The gel foams and lathers, laying down soap that's thicker than shaving cream.

I drop the cloth, and my hand is coated with the white lather. I squeeze a little more of the gel into my left hand, and work them together till it almost looks as if I'm wearing white gloves.

She's watching me with an absolutely terrified look on her face. I smile at her, spread my knees wider, and move my left hand down to my crotch. Her eyes snap shut.

"Look at me, Free."

"No. Dana, this is so wrong. Please stop. I... I think I can forget it if you just stop, now."

"Free, if you don't open you eyes and look at me, do you know what I'll do?" I calculate, deciding what will be most effective. The gun worked once, but she might realize that I want her too much to shoot her. How else is she vulnerable?

"Free, if you don't open your eyes, and keep them open, look at me all the time... If you don't do that, I'm going to go get your cat, and drown him right between your legs."

Her eyes snap open in horror. I've found a very useful button. "You know I could do it, especially since he doesn't have his front claws. Though you and I might get a little raked up from the back ones..."

"No, don't do that. Please, don't hurt him."

"Then don't try to hide from this, Free. Watch." I touch myself again, and she doesn't close her eyes, or try to look away. But I half close my own eyes as I rub, because it's easier to pretend that it's her hand, not mine.

I didn't really need the bath gel, because I'm already wet and open, and it's so easy to slip a finger in. I moan with the sensation, and begin to move it in and out. I take the cloth in my left hand again, and reach for her.

I spread the bubbles up her belly, down through her pubis, sliding the cloth along the soft crease that splits her body. Back to where it becomes the split between her cheeks, and back again. Again. And again.

Then I drop the cloth into the water, and there's only my hand, slick with the soap. I continue the gentle strokes along the lips of her sex, while I push another finger into myself, my right hand moving more quickly, because I'm already getting close to orgasm. When you've waited this long, it doesn't take much.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" I whisper. She bites her lip. "It's all right, Free. I know it does. I'm a doctor, remember? I know how the nerves, and blood, and hormones work on you, even when you're afraid."

Still touching her, I stand up. Moving carefully, I step into the tub, between her legs. There's barely enough room, and I kneel down.

Her breath is hitching. She's so sensitive. What will it be like without the drugs in her system?

I want to lie on top of her, but there's no room. That will have to come later. For now...

I slide my fingers lightly between the folds, pushing, seeking, and find it. The tiny button of flesh so filled with nerves that its only purpose in existance is to give pleasure. I start to rub her clitoris very gently, stroking, then making circular motions.

She moans, throwing her head back so that it bangs on the tiled wall. "Don't do that, darling. Don't hurt yourself."

She's panting, sweet face flushed, eye wild and glazed. So beautiful.

I make sure my hand is well coated, and slide a finger down, searching. The left seeks, the right continues manipulating her clit. It's hard now, thick and throbbing with sensations she's fighting.

I finally locate her vaginal slit. It's as small and tight as I would have imagined. Never breeched. I wiggle to find the best angle, and push lightly. Again she stiffens, and her head bangs back against the wall. "Dana, pleeeeease..." the moan is long and desperate.

But, when you are in love, pleading can be interpreted many ways. I choose my way, and whisper, "Yes, pet." and push.

Her body goes rigid, as if she's received an electric shock, and my finger slides in deep. And it's a good thing that I had the soap, because she hasn't lubricated naturally. Damn.

Not that I let that stop me. I pull out, and hear her sobbing as I coat my fingers with more gel. When I reach for her again, she kicks futiley at the wall, gasping, "Nonononono." But she can't escape. I find the little slit, and this time I work in two fingers, probeing strongly. Another harsh gasp, and a wail. "It hurts."

"Then relax. Let your body get used to it. You can enjoy this, if you'll just accept it."

I don't want to hurt her, but I need this. So I move slowly, instead of ramming, like I want to. In and out, over and over. And she's so damn tight and hot. I wonder how much of it is the fever, how much of it is just her.

She does relax some. Her body softens and spreads around me, in self defense. I keep rubbing and squeezing the morsel of flesh between my fingers. The pain is there, but it's mixed with pleasure now. She protests, but her body doesn't lie.

And at last I feel her begin to lubricate. Her inner juices start to flow, making the way even more slippery. Yes, this is what I want.

I whisper to her, "There, baby. You're getting wet now. So sweet. Open up for me, darling."

She's crying steadily, but her hips are lifting, the scant inch that is allowed by her bonds.

I abandon rubbing her to touch myself again. With a few quick, hard rubs, I come. Trembling, I almost fall on her, but catch myself on the rim of the tub. I heave with my release, head thrown back, gasping. My hand never stops moving, thrusting the two fingers into her.

When I can think again, I lean over and kiss her, then whisper in her ear. "Now you, precious."

I manage to shove in a third finger. She squirms, whining. And I lose it. I don't know if it's the sound she made, or the feeling of her body moving around my fingers, or the mix of lust and pain in her eyes...

I make a sound I've never made before. A growl.

And suddenly I'm pumping into her as hard as I can, straining to go as deep as possible, hard and fast.

And her body snaps rigid, as I feel her narrow channel begin to ripple and pulse, squeezing me. I keep moving as she closes her eyes and screams, sickness roughened voice breaking till it is only a breathless moan.

When I ease myself free of her body, the water around her crotch tints pink. She goes limp, except for racking sobs.

I gently pour water over both of us, washing away the soap. There is a thin trickle of blood between her legs. I examine my hand, puzzled. My nails are very short, filed smooth. Then I realize.

She had been a true physical virgin. I broke her maidenhead, truly deflowered her.

She's limp and compliant as I untie her legs and arms. I keep the handcuffs on. I help her out of the tub, very carefully.

Her legs won't hold her, and I sit her on the toilet, and dry her. She sits with eyes closed, letting me do what I want. She winces and whimpers when I dry between her legs, but she doesn't try to stop me.

I dry myself, and lead her from the bathroom. She tries to go to her room, but I stop her.

"I want to sleep, please Dana."

"Of course, Free. But you won't sleep there anymore." I lead her into my room, ease her down onto my bed. "This is your place now." I climb in with her, and hold her.

I awake in the dark, and lie very still I can hear Free breathing beside me. I cuddle against her, snugging my arms around her waist. Warm, soft, pliant. The medicines are still coursing through her, keeping her relaxed, sleepy if not asleep. She's lying sprawled loosely, except for her hands crooked up over her head.

There's a bead of sweat on her upper lip. I cant' resist. I lean over and lick it away, tasting her salt, and soap, and the faint tange of the codein based cough syrup that is partially responsible for her deep sleep.

She shifts a little, her own pink tongue lapping at the place where mine touched. Then her eyes slit open. Slivers of stormy sky, clouded. Not fully aware. Her lips move a second before she makes sound. "...Dana?" "Sh, it's alright." I stroke her hair, combing the curls as I've wanted to for so long. "You're much better now. You're going to be fine. I'm taking care of you, like I said I would."

I kiss her softly. Her lips tremble beneath mine. It's all still so new to her. "You need to sleep, baby. You haven't slept good for so long. That'll make you better."

She arches up slightly. "Dana, please..."

I kiss her throat, feeling the slow, steady pulse begin to speed up. I love it when she says my name. I'd do anything for her, give her anything in my power. Because she's given me so much.

"Just hush a little while longer, Free. You don't have to do anything. I'll take care of you."

Her skin is so smooth. I could just devour every inch of her. It's so hard to believe that I can, that I can touch her all I wish. Hold her, taste her, move against her... It was all so far away this morning.

My fingers idly trace the handcuffs that still encircle her wrists, and I wonder how long it will be before I dare remove them.