I glared at Jett. "You're Greek, right?"

He smiled. "All of me, baby."

I smacked his face. "Then where the hell did the Roman hands come from?"

He rubbed his cheek, still smiling, "Oo, you've got spunk."

"Oh, crap!" I put Joxer between his brother and me as we walked out of the temple. "This is ridiculous. Where the heck were all you horny guys back when I was young and stupid and in high school?"

"Jett," Joxer frowned at him. "Leave her alone. Besides, maybe Goddess of Smut isn't a big godhood, but she could still... um, could still..."

I peeked out from behind him, "I can write erotica where you're hung like a hamster and have the staying power of a mayfly."

Jett shrugged. "Then I'll just have to try real hard to prove them wrong, won't I?"

"Damn!" I swore, "A man who's not insecure about his sexuality! Why do I have to run up across the mutants all the time? Just back off." He took one tiny step back and wiggled his eyebrows at me. "More. You've got long arms."

Jayce slapped Jett on the shoulder. "Yett leave Gahdess Scribe alone, eh? For hwunce in chur life, try to be a yentleman." He turned a charming smile on me, then offered me his arm. "If I may?"

I blinked. "Well, no one's done that for me except that time I was bridesmaid and I walked back down the aisle with one of the ushers. Now I don't even have to wear candy colored taffeta." I tucked my hand in his elbow as we continued out of Cupid's temple. Behind us I could hear Jett muttering about 'no fair, isn't like he'll actually make any use of the opportunity'.

We went over to the second pink temple. As we got inside, something swooped down on us from near the ceiling. I flinched, throwing my arms over my head. "The last thing I need is bird poop in my hair!"

"Hey! I'se potty trained!" a small, high-pitched voice declared.

I opened my eyes to find an adorable little blond boy, about four or five years old, hovering at about eye level with me. Yes, that's right--hovering. Frankly, I would have thought that he'd have to flap those pretty white wings as fast as a hummingbird to achieve it, but I suppose that the laws of physics don't apply to gods the same way they do to mortals.

He had big blue eyes, and his blonde hair was a tumble of curls. All he was wearing, besides a puzzled look, was a pair of loose linen shorts. Yeah, well, I guess T-shirts would kind of be out of the question. He was cocking his head at us, and he said, "Howcome there three Joxies?"

Joxer stepped forward and gently plucked the little boy out of the air. The kid didn't seem to mind. He put his arms around Joxer's neck in a familiar, companionable way. "Bliss, you've heard me talk about my brothers. This it Jett, and this is Jayce."

Bliss giggled at them, then pointed at me. "Who her?"

"That's Scribe. She's goddess of... uh..." He started blushing.

"I'm Goddess of Nursery Rhymes and Stories," I informed him. They all stared at me. "I can so, do it!" I cleared my throat. "Hickory, dickory, dock. The mouse ran up the clock."

"What's a clock?" asked Bliss. The three men nodded.

"Ohh-kay. Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John. Went to bed with his stockings on..."

Jayce put a hand on his hip. "Oh, I theenk I know heem! He never takes off hees makeup, either."

I rubbed my face. "I had a little nut tree, nothing would it bear, but a silver nutmeg, and a golden pear..."

Bliss clapped his hands. "Likea gold apple, huh?" He frowned, and shook his finger at me. "Youse not 'sposed to have 'em. They not for mortals 'less Zoos say so."

"No, hon, a golden pear," I tried to explain, "And a silver nutmeg..."

Jett folded his arms, scratching his chin. "Precious metal nuts and fruits growing together on the same tree? Sounds like something only Gaia would have." He gave me a conspiratorial grin. "You been sneaking in where you shouldn't? Maybe hanging out with Autolycus?"

"I give up. Once upon a time there was an evil queen..." Joxer slapped a hand over my mouth. I jerked it down. "What now?"

"One word--Hera."

"Ooo. Gotcha." I looked at Bliss. "You'll just have to take my word for it."

He nodded. "Okay. You wanna see Gran'ma?"

I must've looked blank. Joxer explained, "Aphrodite."

I snickered. "I bet he's the only one who can really get away with calling her that. Yes, dear, we'd like to see Gran'man."

"Kay!" He started to wiggle. "Down!" Joxer set him down, and he trotted off toward a hallway. After a few paces he turned and regarded us, hands on his hips, full lips pouting, and said, "Well?"

I shook my head as we followed him. "She couldn't deny him if she wanted to."

Jett sidled close beside me as we made our way through the temple. "About this problem you have with Ares wanting you for his consort?"

"Yes?"

"Have you considered that he might lose interest if you weren't a virgin any more?"

I gave him a disbelieving glance, then made my voice wondering. "Why, I never would have thought of that. But if I wanted to lose my virginity, I couldn't do it on my own."

Joxer said, "Well, it depends on how you define 'virginity'. If the only requirement is the actual hymen, then you could..." he trailed off, blushing.

I batted my eyelashes at him. "Yes?"

"You're teasing me," he accused.

"I'm sorry, doll, but you're such an easy target. I don't think that would deter ol' Leather Britches, though. I'm pretty sure he'd have the 'gotta have a partner' interpretation." Jett cleared his throat. "Let me guess--you're generously willing to offer your services in, um, servicing."

He tried to put an arm around me. "You do have a turn of phrase." I pushed him away. "I love it when you play hard to get."

"I think that Greek men must be the most persistant in the world, if not the horniest. You guys..." I stopped as what seemed like a solid wall of smell hit me. Whoo-ee. It wasn't stinky. No, it was more like a combination of a florist's and a fudge shop, with the perfume counter of a chi-chi women's store thrown in. I tried to wave enough away so I could draw a deep breath without giving myself diabetes. "What is that?"

"Gran'ma workin'," explained Bliss.

"Uh oh," said Joxer. "If Dite is in the middle of potion making it might not be the best idea in the world to interrupt her."

"Quite frankly, I don't give a durn if I give her potionus interruptus," I said. Bliss was standing in front of a doorway. "In there?" I walked right in...

Right into Aphrodite, who was carefully carrying a bowl which was, in my humble opinion, way too full. Wouldn't you know that it tilted out instead of in. Oh, and she jumped a little, giving the liquid some lift, so I ended up chin to knees some sort of sparkly pink liquid. We both 'eeped' at the same time.

Dite stamped her foot, causing jiggling in places that had the guys' eyes rivitted. Well, actually moving up and down, but you know what I mean. "I worked on that for ages!"

"Crud." I dabbed a finger in it. I was starting to tingle in all the areas that were damp. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, but I didn't trust it. "Tell me this wasn't the cure for Hercules."

"What? Oh, that. No," she waved her hand. "I haven't gotten to that yet."

I put my hands on my hips, doing a 'Dite impression, I guess. "You mean all this time and you haven't been working on the cure? Darn, woman, do you know what kind of situation I'm in right now? Your brother is trying to consort with me and Joxer."

"I heard. Congratulations."

I gaped. "Con...? Look, I don't want to get consorted with."

"Um..." she rubbed her toe on the floor. "You might--soon."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, that stuff that I spilled on you? It's sort of a passion potion."

I groaned, slapping my forehead. "Now, don't panic, I'm not sure."

"Not sure? It's your potion."

"Yes, but I didn't intend for it to be rubbed on. It's supposed to be taken internally."

"Do you mean that I'm going to have even more guys chasing me? I can't handle this! It's bad enough with Ares, then Apollo, and now..." I slapped backward, contacted, and heard Jett curse, "Mister Murder Incorporated. I don't need any more..."

"Thaaaat's not how it should work."

I got very still. "How, pray tell, else could it work?"

She cleared her throat. "Um, it could make you fairly horny."

"Fairly horny?"

"Okay, pretty horny." I stared at her. "Very horny?" I crossed my arms. "Okay, okay. If it works like it's supposed to, and it works through the skin, you'll be hornier than a brass band and a herd of ten prong bucks put together."

I looked around. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Too late," she shook her head. "It's soaked in."

"It couldn't have. I only got drenched about..." Jett reached around and skimmed a finger down my front, from neck to navel. I slapped it. "Stop that!" He showed me the finger--bone dry. I checked my clothes. There wasn't a sign of the passion potion. "Oooo, crap."

Dite patted me on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it. It might not work, and if it does, it's not fatal." She frowned. "Of course, you did get an awful big dose." She shrugged. "Well," she gestured toward Joxer, Jett, and Jayce. "no problem. You have three studs..." She looked at Jayce again. "Um... Strife is usually around somewhere, and I hear that he and Cupid make a hell of a tag team."

Jayce volunteered, "Thay're beesy. That's hwhy we came here."

"Hm. They'll be a couple of hours." She started ticking off on her fingers. "If you passed on Apollo, he'd be sure to be interested in another chance, then there's Hermes--little, but cute. I could import Iolaus..."

"Just get me to a room with a good lock on the door and I'll ride it out."

Dite blinked, then giggled--a touch nervously, I thought. "Oh, hon, you don't want to do that. You'd be, like, big time uncomfortable."

"Says you, little Miss Would-get-a-hell-of-an-energy-jolt. That's the line all the men use." I snorted. "People make too darn big a fuss over sexual frustration. I had a Siamese cat once--Critter. I couldn't afford to have her fixed, and every damn month it was the same thing--yow, yow, yow, yow! I ended up finding homes for kittens just so I could get a little sleep. Anyway, I'm a grown woman--it's not like I haven't been horny before and resisted it." Jett started to say something. "No, I won't tell you about it. Room?"

Aphrodite led me to a nice enough room--no windows, big ass bed, door that locked. I didn't like the sympathetic looks she was giving me. "Nice. I don't suppose you have a thermostat around here?"

"And a thermostat would be?"

"Didn't think so." I tugged at my collar. "I'd think with all this marble around it would be cooler."

"Look, if you change your mind, the boys will be nearby. Jayce is reorganizing my wardrobe, Jett has found the ahem library..."

I rolled my eyes. "Great. Horndog with porn."

"And Joxer and I are going to have a little talk about a certain hunky war god." She twiddled her fingers at me. "Just holler if you want anything." She giggled. "Or anyone."

I locked the door after her. *Yeah, right. This won't be so hard. I figure I'll give it an hour--if it's going to work, it should by then.*

I went and sat on the edge of the bed. I drummed my fingers on my thighs. *I hope Dite has started on that spell removing potion. The sooner Hercules is de-bamboozled, the sooner Joxer and I can get back to where it's marginally normal.* I stood up. *Maybe I should go check... Which would put me out and about with Jett the Grabber.* I sat back down and started drumming my fingers again.

Then I noticed that I wasn't exactly drumming--I was more, like, stroking. Or rubbing, or massaging. Anyway, it was way too slow to be considered drumming. I quickly crossed my arms and tucked my hands under them, out of the way. I crossed my legs. I squeezed my legs together. *Screw what she said about all that stuff absorbing or evaportating. Some of it got into my underwear. That's the only possible reason for my panties being damp.* I unbuttoned my shirt a few buttons. *Damn, it's warm in here!* I started plucking the front of my blouse, trying to fan myself. *I'm alone--I don't really need this bra on.*

I ditched the bra and put the shirt back on. Then my legs were hot. *Hell, no one's going to come in, right? I mean, I locked the door. I used to walk around the house naked when I was young.* I pulled off the pants. That didn't help much. I kept feeling hotter and hotter. I wondered if it was because we were close to Apollo's temple? I got up and paced. It didn't help. Walking cause, um, an interesting sort of rubbing.

I paced faster and faster. I found that I was rubbing my thighs again. I looked down and was surprised to find that there seemed to be two sharp points under my shirt. *What the hell? That's only supposed to happen if it's cold, or you're...* "No--fucking--way." It felt like I had static electricity building up all over my body, including my hair prickling. "Noooooooo!" I stopped, clapping a hand to my mouth. Finally I whispered, "Oh, wow. Critter, I'm so sorry!"

There was a timid tap on the door. "Goddess Scribe, are you all right?"

"Joxer?"

"I thought I heard you cry out. Are you okay?"

I found that I was stalking toward the door. I stopped. "I'm... I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

I felt a throb south of my navel. "No, not really."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

*Fuck it. This is Joxer. It'll be okay.* I opened the door. There he stood, in all his goofy, geeky, cute splendor. I was damn glad we'd ditched the armor.

He blinked at me. "Can I...?"

I reached out and grabbed his shirt. "You damn betcha you can!" I jerked him into the room, slammed the door, shoved him back against it, and kissed him.

When I let him up for air he gasped, "You've changed."

"Shocking, isn't it?" I swung him around and shoved him toward the bed. He stumbled, but didn't fall back on it. Not till I tackled him, anyway. I was over him on my hands and knees. "Look, Joxer, I know this is sudden, and I know you're more interested in Ares..." His eyebrows shot up, and he started to say something. I kissed him to shut him up. pause Okay, so it wasn't really to shut him up. It was fun, too. I would have thought Joxer would have tasted like honey, considering what he'd had for breakfast, but it was more of a winey taste. Still nice, though.

"Maybe I won't die if I don't have sex, but you couldn't prove it by me. You can consider this hero work."

He swallowed. "Okay."

"Thank you!" I ripped his shirt open, leaned down, and nipped him right between the nipples. He yipped. "Sorry. I haven't done this before, so I'm working on instinct and what I've read."

"You're doing pretty damn good as far as I can tell," he said breathlessly.

"Flatterer." I grabbed at the laces of his pants and started to struggle with them. "Damn! Bows, Joxer, bows--not knots." I managed to get the laces undone and skinned the pants down. "Heh-looo! Whoa, Joxer the Mighty is right!"

That's where I should have gotten suspicious--he didn't blush.

The door swung open and Jayce came in. It's a note of how caught up I was that I didn't dive for the sheets and start babbling explanations. He scowled at us and said, "That was a nasty trick you pulled."

"I haven't even really done anything yet!" I protested.

"Not you, sweetie." He shook a finger at my recumbent play partner. "It hwasn't nice of you to tie up poor Yoxie like that!"

"Whuh?" I looked down. He grinned up at me, and there was way too much slyness in that expression to be Joxer. "Jett! I ought to..." He reached up and squeezed my breasts. "Ooo... What the hell." I fell on top of him. Things got interesting.

Jayce said, "Oh. Hwell... ahem Hyes, I should go, I suppose..." he trailed off. He came over and sat next to the bed. "Hyou mind very much, Mees Scribe?"

Jett had rolled us over and was on top of me. "Mind what?" yip! "Damn, that hurts!"

Jett stopped moving. "Should I stop?"

I wrapped my legs around his waist. "Only if you really want me to kill you."

He didn't stop. "Oo, you're a talented amature, lady."

"Save your energy--you'll need it."

What? No, I'm not going into more detail. Hell, I'm telling you about my first time, that's enough. A girl needs to keep some things to herself, and considering what I'm about to tell you, I feel perfectly justified in not getting minute.

It was niiiice. But in a little while he rolled off me. "That's it?"

He lifted his head and looked at me. "Scribe, that was one rousing good fuck. I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You climaxed at least twice--I felt it. It was that second one that did me in."

I was twitching. "Well, how much longer till you're ready again?"

He groaned. "Shit, eager is good, but it's going to be at least a few minutes."

I bounced. "That's not faaaaaair!" blink "Oh, lord. I'm turning into a Siamese cat."

"Hexcuse me?" I looked over. Jayce was naked, and smiling at me gently. "Hi theenk I can help."

That got Jett to sit up. "Jayce? But I thought you were... Well, you know."

Jayce rolled his eyes. "I swear, Yett, peeples have such narrow leetle minds. Hwhy should I limit myself?" He spread his hands. "And hwhy should I deny myself to anyone yust based on gender?"

"I'm convinced." I grabbed and dragged him down on top of me.

People, let me tell you something--Just because someone acts effiminent...

I didn't have a whole hell of a lot to compare with, but I sure as hell didn't notice any discrepancies. And when Jayce finally crawled off me I was a lot closer to sanity again. In fact, I was purring. I know the cat metaphores are a bit thick, but I can't help it--I'm a cat person.

Jett rubbed my belly. "Better now, sweetie?"

"Much, but still a little, um, nervous. Are you...?"

"Not quite yet."

"Damn."

I heard a voice coming down the hall. "Jayce, did you find Jett? He didn't get to Scribe, did he? I'll never forgive myself. I'm supposed to be a hero, and I end up tied up with one of Dite's nighties." He walked in, and stopped, mouth dropping open.

Mine dropped, too. Joxer was head to toe black leather. Damn, he looked hot. "Joxer, that isn't your usual outfit."

"Jett stole my clothes. I had to put his on."

"Looks gooood." I crooked my finger at him.

He edged closer. His eyes were bouncing between Jett, Jayce, and me. "Uh, you know, it looks like..." He was blushing. He swallowed. "So, I guess the potion is effective through the skin as well as swallowed, huh?"

"You could say that. It's rude to stand so far away when you're talking to someone."

He sidled closer still. "Look, do you want me to go and shut the door, or something."

He was within reach. "Or something." I grabbed.

sigh

You can find family resemblences in the most interesting ways.

I don't know how long we were in there. No clocks, dontcha know. I've never been good at estimating time, even when I'm not distracted. And no more details, except to remark that the boys had a wonderfully developed sense of co-operation and teamwork. smirk

Later we located a bathing room down the hall. You know, they had some BIG ass baths back then. Sort of like hot tubs, without the jacuzzi jets. Anway, we were all cuddled together in one, with bubbles, when Dite came in and squealed. "I wondered where that massive energy wave was coming from! Oh, way to go, sister!"

I blushed and slid under the water. Jett hauled me back up. "No point in getting all shy about it now."

Cupid came in, "Ma, do you know anything about that energy burst I got a little while ago? I'd be bouncing off the walls if I hadn't been with Strife. As it is, he's going to be stiff for a while." He skidded to a halt when he saw us. He blinked. "This is the woman who nearly died of embarrassment when she saw me and Strife wrestling naked?"

"Things change."

"Where are my future consorts?"

It was impossible to mistake that bellow. I went underwater again. I tried to stay down, figuring that drowning might be less painful than facing Ares, but the triplets managed to haul me up. I was clutched in their arms, spluttering and dripping, when Ares stormed in.

He stopped dead when he saw us. He walked slowly to the edge of the tub and stared down. I could see his head move slightly as he visually counted who was in the tub. One eyebrow climed slowly. Finally he said, "Is it safe to assume that you're not a virgin anymore?"

I took a breath and sat up. I glanced around at Joxer, Jayce, and Jett. "It's safe to say that I'm not any kind of a virgin anymore." blink "If you know what I mean." Jett smirked. I splashed him. "So, you'll send me back now that I'm not pristine any more, right? Why are you shaking your head?"

"If you'll search your memory, you'll realize that I sought you out and brought you to Greece long before I knew about your maiden state." He shrugged. "I don't see any reason for this to make a difference."

I sighed. "Who does a girl have to screw to get off this mountain?"